President Obama announced that he will give a speech welcoming America's young students into the new school year. Conservatives, happy to fight about anything this man does, came out swinging against the President's "socialist" intentions. And they're winning!

Nothing is more anti-American than telling children to stay in school, which is why Mr. T was arrested for espionage in 1984. President Obama, though, thinks he's above the law, so parents are boycotting his upcoming address to schools.