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Doom

cary tennis

"Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck it all," Says Advice Columnist

Cary Tennis: Your Source For Stone Cold Crazy Advice. The Salon advicemonger and generally confused and confusing man today receives a sincere question from a girl about her hard-partying friend, who gets drunk and cheats on her boyfriend, most recently by having "consensual, unprotected sex with one of the Marines" that she met on a night out. What should she do to help her friend? Cary Tennis makes sure she regrets that she ever asked that question. Because Cary Tennis can read her friend's mind: More »

open caption

What To Expect When You're Expecting The Apocalypse

[Style gay Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru and The Insider host Pat O'Brien filming a segment on Sunset Blvd yesterday; image via WENN]

financial panic

Jim Cramer Defends His Position, Is Still Hated

"Mad Money" host and bug-eyed madman Jim Cramer went on CNBC today to clarify his statements from last week about Bear Stearns, when he urged people not to move their money out of the firm. As we pointed out earlier in his defense, he was not referring to the company's stock, and his advice was actually perfectly sound. "Do you know what would happen on this show if I came out and said I want everyone to take their money out of X bank?" he ranted today. "Jim Cramer causes a run on X bank!" As it turns out, the run on the bank happened anyways. This video, originally posted on YouTube, features Cramer's defense today along with some, ahem, editorial comments against him; we have to say we still agree with him in this particular case. Although we would never take his stock tips. Click to watch the clip.

mad money

In Defense Of Jim Cramer

"Bear Stearns is not in trouble!" Jim Cramer, CNBC's bug-eyed "Mad Money" host who is to finance what Carrot Top is to comedy, shouted last Tuesday. "Don't move your money from Bear! That's just being silly." The immediate reaction to seeing his advice in the wake of Bear's collapse is: what an idiot. But really, his advice was not bad! Cramer—a famously bad prognosticator—noted that Bear would, at worst, be taken over, meaning those who had money with the firm would have their investments guaranteed by a more deep-pocketed buyer. Which is exactly what happened when JPMorgan bought Bear over the weekend. Note that he was not speaking about Bear's stock price [last Tuesday: over $60. Now: toilet paper]. What have we learned? Only Wild Jim Cramer can stop the collapse of the American economy. Click to watch the crazy savant's ill-fated harangue. [via WJNO]

Drudge's Bloodlust Having grown bored with the "Hillary is a scary bitch" narrative and not inclined to push the "McCain is a lobbyist-fucker" story, Matt Drudge has finally found his Obama peg: he will be shot. [Drudge]