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we get emails
Farewell, Douchebag
A reader recently suggested that the time has come to retire the term douchebag. We agree. It's been a dear friend, but it's time to find a new word to describe the people we despise. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Michael Savage's Brave Stand For Personal Responsibility
It might be better if people protested right-wing radio talk show host Michael Savage on those rare occasions he said something reasonable. It's getting too hard to keep up with the phoned-in shock and outrage whenever he wishes gays would die of AIDS, Muslims would quit the continent, or parents of autistic children would realize — as he told them to yesterday — that "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. ... They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. ... Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'" Or at least go on the air and make money doing it. Sounds like someone's overcompensating after reading about how much Limbaugh's pulling in. Many angry moms and dads lined the street outside Savage's WOR building in Manhattan today, calling for his termination. He in turn maintained a posture of defiance, then issued the following "clarification" on his website: More »
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Comment by Mean_Ol_Liberal: Enough words have been wasted on the likes of Savage and his equally savage ilk. They will continue to spout... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Tips On Street Fighting from Yale Fantasist Aleksey Vayner
Once upon a time, a junior Yalie named Aleksey Vayner sent a C.V. with a link to a hubristic, ill-advised "video resume" to a Wall Street bank. It featured him lifting weights, doing judo, and spewing truisms about the nature of success. He was mocked, but he followed his own advice: failure is simply not an option. (He wrote a self-help book.) Now he's back on the internets, "helping" us about the "latest trends in hedge funds" and "how to win a street fight." Weird: if you read his advice on winning a street fight correctly, you can also find information on how to survive, say, life in the New York media mob:
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douchebag hall of fame
More of Eric Schaeffer's Little Peccadildos. Yeah, You Read That Right.
We can stop posting about Eric "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single, Even Though Every Other Sentient Life Form On Planet Earth Soooo Can" Schaeffer any time we want. Really. Okay, but before we take a vow of silence about Eric (who is also on the MySpace, in case you missed him on Nerve or Match) forever, we just have to share these latest tips. They're all thematically linked somehow. "How?" you're probably wondering. "I am racking my brain and I can't figure out what they're getting at based on that mysterious headline?!" Well, click on past the jump, little ones. But heed our warning: not safe for . . . just not safe. NOT SAFE. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by Dusty in the Wind: This guy is Ed Burns minus the looks. more » | Other threads
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eric schaeffer
Dating Eric Schaeffer: Reports From The Field
Well, we knew it would happen eventually: our best efforts to never post about Eric Schaeffer again have been thwarted. The reason? We've started getting emails from women who've not only "winked" at Eric on Match and talked dirty with him on Nerve, they've actually met him in person (or they have a "friend" who has met him in person). So, uh, how'd it go? More »
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By Emily GouldComment by Whirlygirl: I went out with him once about a year ago. He immediateky wanted to know what I thought of him... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Taking the Douchebait: "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single" Guy
We tried to resist, we really did. But much as we'd like to ignore this in the hopes that it'll go away, we can't help but heap scorn on it (even though that is exactly what it wants). Such is . . . our job. Anyway, meet Eric Schaeffer, a 5'8'' semi-failed screenwriter whose blog is the latest addition to the stable of the Rudius (ugh, we feel like we just said "Voldemort"!) blog empire of sickmaking, unfunny douchebaggery. He's looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with, but he has some pretty stringent requirements: More »
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By Emily GouldComment by MacnairEspizzo: Steve Friedman is also on Jdate tallnyc10023 and he also went out with a girlfriend of mine. I've heard him... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: Our Doors Open For Anyone Who Uses the Word "Lover"
Now that we've been given permission to use the word "douchebag" again, we figure it's time to enlist a new member into our Hall of Fame. Today's inductee will go on the rolls as Anonymous Swinging Douchebag (a.k.a. Johnny Massengill) until someone out there is able to identify him. He comes to us from the pages of Craigslist, and combines the orderliness of Lucy Gao with the sexual stamina of Peter Chung. Join us after the jump for the entire, horrifying thing. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: the Yao Ming of Douches
Our latest inductee to the Douchebag Hall of Fame comes recommended by our globetrotting brother Gridskipper, who calls Shandong Erge, "China's answer to Aleksey Vayner". Whereas Aleksey turned to self-promotion to land a Wall Street job, the self proclaimed "China's sexiest man", Erge is in search of a wife and has started a blog to promote his effort. More » -
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douchebag hall of fame
Racing for Douchebag Fame: The Breakdown
Given all the understandable excitement over the Douchebag Hall of Fame, we decided to figure out which of our current crop of douches — in and out of the Hall of Fame — seem to draw the most reader interest. Brave Intern Mary descended into the comment pits for a quick tally, though unfortunately she was down below when recent inductee Steve Damion made the list, so he's not yet accounted. But for comparison's sake, we included a few names which have not technically made it into the Hall of Fame, but are virtual locks for future inclusion due to clamorous reader insistence on same. After the jump, examine the numbers and draw your own conclusions. More »
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By Chris MohneyComment by raincoaster: What about Sandy Pittman? C'mon, douchebaggery that actually risks people's lives bringing your fucking espresso maker down from Everest is... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Where Are They Now? Douchebag Edition
After we inducted Steve Damion to the Douchebag Hall of Fame yesterday, some of you wanted to know whether Steve and his fianc e. More » -
aleksey vayner
Aleksey Vayner Not Only Enterprising Douchebag From Yale
We're not sure how to view the latest Aleksey Vayner dispatch from the kids at IvyGate. On the one hand, the idea that a couple of "friends" of the Yale internet sensation are pitching a "memoir" of the douchebag's life says nothing good about Ivy grads (and, potentially, the publishing industry). On the other hand, who hasn't been trying to make a quick buck on the rapidly-dwindling interest in the wannabe i-banker's story? Let's face it: These are Yale graduates who, for whatever reasons, have to live in Louisville and some San Francisco exurb. This may be their only shot. But, on reflection, we're gonna go with the first impulse: the douchebag may have been outdouched. Full, repellent book pitch after the jump: More »
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By abalk2Comment by raincoaster: Is it any surprise, really, that this soulless careerist douchebag would have soulless, careerist friends? more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: A Lot of Remorse Against Me
First off, we thank you for submissions for the Douchebag Hall of Fame, but we would also like to clarify the criteria, because sadly, many of your suggestions simply are not douchey enough to be inducted . More »
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By sukiComment by mediahohoho: Wow...Jersey Repulicans: as crooked as the dems and can't write to boot. more » | Other threads
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clips
Douchebag Can't Be Certain That He's Actually Douchebag In Video
The Aleksey Vayner tour makes today's stop at Inside Edition. Host Deborah Norville doesn't let him off lightly: There's some manufactured outrage when Aleksey admits that he's not exactly sure if it's him in the skiing segment of his resume video. It's an awkward—and therefore delightful—moment. A couple of quibbles: How many "first interviews" with this kid can there be? Also, when Norville introduces the segment and says that Vayner is"better known as 'the college kid with the super-sized ego'"? Uh, no, Deb: He's better known as "douchebag." More »
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By abalk2Comment by grandenchilada: Adidas, Jaime, and alas he ain't no David Beckham. They should sue his douchebag ass. Is this what the Ivy... more » | Other threads
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clips
Douchebag Getting a Lot of Wear Out of That One Suit
Aleksey Vayner finally showed up for an interview today, appearing on MSNBC's Rita Cosby Live and Looking for Work. Aleksey is deeply hurt by the way people on the Internet who don't even know him assume that he's some sort of douchebag. We feel for the kid. Also joining him was attorney Christian Steuben, who once again suggested that Vayner's privacy should have been respected since "it's not like he was applying to sell hamburgers." Agreed. Because you know everyone who's working the night shift over at Hardee's sends out their douchebaggy video resumes with the full foreknowledge that it's likely to be passed along. More » -
aleksey vayner
Douchebag May Have a Line on Great Two-Bedroom That's Just Slightly Out Of Your Price Range
The suit, the clasped hands, the arrogant expression: you don't even need to read the article or know anything about the story, this photo says it all. And what it says is douchebag. Oh, yeah, Aleksey may decide to go into real estate. This story just writes itself. More »
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By abalk2Comment by schvitzatura: Cue Huey Lewis and The News' Hip To Be Square... Does A.V. have also have a penchant for Valentino suits and... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: Why We Switched to eHarmony
A wise woman once said, love is a battlefield, and the world of dating is fraught with many perils. But we get past the bad dates and look forward to the next, knowing that the worst that could happen is that we wouldn't hit it off and resign ourselves to moving on and changing our phone numbers. Today's bad date becomes yesterday's news. More »
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By sukiComment by grandenchilada: My halloween costume? Darren fucking Sherman. The man takes the cake. And then bills you for it. more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Douchebaggery Illustrated: Lucy on Her Birthday
This is why we love the internet so hard. Mere hours after we inducted Citigroups intern Lucy Gao into our Douchebag Hall of Fame, we received photographs from her birthday festivities she planned ever so carefully. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: Blowing Candles
Today's inductee made a splash this summer, when her birthday e-mail made the rounds throughout the English-speaking world. She's Lucy Gao, the Citigroup intern whose sheer anality (analness) extended to attempting to stagger her friends' arrival at London's Ritz. The whole winking, heheheing, sphincter-cringe-inducing e-mail after the jump. Be prepared for douchery on an epic scale. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: Dianna A-bla-bla-bla-bdala
Our latest inductee is Boston-area attorney Diana Abdala. You might argue that her profession alone warrants her induction in the Douchebag Hall of Fame, and you would have a point. More »
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By sukiComment by the-cubicle-dweller: She's a fresh scented member of the DHOF. Most juris doctor's would never document this sort of chicanery, this happens... more » | Other threads
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aleksey vayner
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Aleksey Vayner
So has the Aleksey Vayner story run its course? The folks at IvyGate, who have been at the forefront of the Hall of Fame Douchebag's internet ubiquity of late, are prepared to draw down the shade on the whole sordid tale, although not before revealing some of young Mr. Garber's outright plagiarism. We're not so sure; the mainstream media is cottoning on to the kid's charm; Inside Edition ran a piece about it today (which actually referenced yesterday's Today Show segment; it's getting a bit meta). And while brand new douchebags bring themselves to the forefront of our consciousness every day, we're not quite ready to let go. You know how it is: You never forget your first. Especially when they're nuclear-waste handling Tibetan-monk killers. We want more. More » -
douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: CHUNG IS KING! CHUNG IS KING!
As always, we appreciate the submissions. Today's entry is an oldie but a goodie, the cautionary tale of one Peter Chung, who gets a well paying job in Korea, lives in the perfect bachelor pad and has sex with the most beautiful women of Seoul - and blows it all by bragging about it on his company email. But not before declaring to the world, CHUNG is KING! More »
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By sukiComment by raincoaster: I dunno, this seems douche-hall worthy to me. I mean, he IS a douche. But a "where are they now" would... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
Douchebag Hall of Fame: The Inevitable Charter Member
We want to thank you for the epic flood of douchebaggery you've unleashed upon our inbox. We'll be inducting the initial class of the Douchebag Hall of Fame all this week. Our first member needs no introduction, but the boss is always on our ass about context, so we're going to do it anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, your pioneer Douchebag is Aleksey Vayner.
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By abalk2Comment by shindoozle: he does make for great inspirational poster material http://www.flickr.co... more » | Other threads
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clips
Reminder: We Want Your Douchebags
Our call for nominations to The Douchebag Hall of Fame has resulted in a flood of Hall-worthy douchebags; keep them coming either here or via e-mail. A quick clarification: We're looking for what one commenter refers to as "internet-buzz related douchebags," not your everyday run-of-the-mill douchebag (there are so many of those that no hall could hold them all). While we tabulate your results, please enjoy this Richard Blakeley remix of Aleksey Vayner's bid for DBHF inclusion; the Yale senior is, more than anyone, responsible for this project, and probably deserves his own wing. More »
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By abalk2Comment by a_wintour_winter: that Natalie girl from summer 2005 who was a beauty assistant at Ladies Home Journal, and got fired for whining... more » | Other threads
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douchebag hall of fame
By Popular Demand: The Douchebag Hall of Fame
Douchebags we have always had with us. But before the advent of the internet, their douchebaggery was of limited currency, shared only amongst their immediate acquaintances. Now, with the push of a single forward button, the whole world can, and frequently does, learn of douchebagism almost simultaneously to the act (or acts) of douchebagosity. We're thinking specifically here about Aleksey Vayner, the Yale senior who's now-famous resume-enhancing video has provided everyone at Gawker so much mirth over the last few days, but he's far from being the only douchebag out there. There's Lucy Gao,the Citigroup intern whose birthday e-mail became the stuff of legend. There's Darren Sherman, of the bad J-date. In fact, there are so many douchebags out there whose travails have become internet fodder that you could open a Douchebag Hall of Fame.
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By abalk2Comment by notoriousbhc: It has been suggested before, but I would vote for Dianna "Bla Bla Bla" Abdala: http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=1635684 Her legend lives on: http://www.jdjive.com/read.php?1,271846 Where is she... more » | Other threads
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aleksey vayner
Douchebag's Underage Douchebag Friends Taken Care Of
Not a lot of news on the Aleksey Vayner front this morning, except to note that the douchebag had YouTube take down his infamous video; the American heroes at IvyGate have re-upped it and it can be found here. Also, an observation: We've been getting a considerable amount of mail from shady organizations who are now creating fake Vayner profiles on their websites in hopes of a link. How sad is that? You go from promising young sociopath to spam-baiting joke in a week's time. There's something almost poetic about it. Also, we (and, apparently everyone else in the world) received a copy of Aleksey's birthday party e-mail: You'll find it after the jump. More » -
aleksey vayner
Secretly Sensitive Douchebag Likes Dancing, 'The Matrix'
Your personal recollections of New Haven-area douchebag* Aleksey Veyner continue to come in. Here's our personal favorite of the afternoon:
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aleksey vayner
A Lawyer Who Represents Himself Has a Douchebag for a Client
Dealbreaker brings word that UBS is on the hunt for whoever leaked the video of Yale douchebag Aleksey Vayner, and probably with good reason: We're hearing that Vayner is suing UBS for the video's widespread distribution. No word on whether or not Vayner will add "lawyer" to his long list of fraudulent credits, but we're sort of hoping that he does: "attorney" is the third angle alongside "investment banker" and "Eli" in the twat trifecta. More » -
aleksey vayner
God and Douchebag at Yale
So yesterday's call for further information on titanic douchebag Aleksey Vayner brought forth an outpouring of fond reminiscences from his fellow Elis. We've cleaned them up a bit for your consumption, but this first one gives you a general idea of how well-regarded the future investment banker is amongst his schoolmates.
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By abalk2Comment by Christ Sabo: This guy and Tucker Max are douchebags, it seems. But Jesus, Gawker sure is mean, isn't it? more » | Other threads
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clips
Daily Dose of Douchery (Bonus Schadenfreude Edition): Aleksey Vayner
The young stud you see here lifting 140 lb. (each!) weights is Aleksey Vayner, Yale senior and current man in the news. The Sun reports that Vayner recently sent a resume to investment bank UBS and included a promotional video: More »
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By abalk2Comment by ReedintheWind: Shouldn't his name be spelled "VAIN-er"? Isn't he ashamed to pontificate in a way that's usually reserved for those who... more » | Other threads
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