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The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud

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avoidz
06/25/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
What does it say about this franchise (and Orci and Kurtzman) when the original cartoon had characterization, smarter stories, intelligent dialogue, better robot designs and action scenes you could tell what the hell was going on.
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Perhaps Not
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Having, um, seen the movie on the Imax last night because of a couple of strings a friend pulled (don't judge me!), I can safely say that it is exactly what I wanted it to be and no less. The robots are neat-looking, there's lots of silly crap about Energon and the Matrix of Leadership and caveman Transformers, Megan Fox is quite attractive, and there are a couple of great moments from Tony-winning jewel Julie White and dear old Shia, who is a pretty good actor no matter what anybody says.

I liked it. It was like an old episode of the cartoons that went on for two and a half hours, and since their brevity was my only complaint about the cartoons to begin with, I was thrilled.

Also, Jetfire is fucking cool. And Frank Welker, the voice of Nibbler, plays Soundwave.
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fuzzyitch
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
so it's "loud and obnoxious," just like this guy said a couple of hours before you did: [www.clevescene.com]
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Richard Lawson
06/23/09

@fuzzyitch: Oh yes, I've been ripping off CleveScene for years.
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Spirit Fingers
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
You make some good points, Richard. But will this stop every male I know (many of whom are over the age of 30) from becoming boys from 1985 and going to see the loud, bangy, bang movie? Nope. Not at all. To Bay's credit he understands what it is. It's not about pithy commentary and smart storylines, this movie based on the dreams and fantasies of boys who will forever want to take a toy car and push it along to their own mouth-music of "vrrooom, vrrrrooom," they care not about how well Shia can parse a sentence or if the robots are more than just CGI gobbledy-gook. It's about being able to say at least once or twice during those 90 minutes, "Heh. That was cool."

There's really not much else.

G.I. Joe looks awful, btw. But *sigh* I'll see it, because well, it was part of my youth and there's some sort of nostalgia obligation that makes these things have to occur. Tiresome. But there it is.
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Ebert ain't an old, he's an ancient.

All I ever expected from the movie was loud noises and flesh, though I for one was glad when the Fox-kneeling-on-a-bike shot was taken out of the promo.

I do expect a nice cooler adjacent to the theater entrance to set my brain in during the movie, because Gladys has standards.
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freedc
06/23/09

@Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: "Ebert ain't an old, he's an ancient."

Aww, he is doing pretty good, no thanks to that dipshit, Gallo. Long live Ebert!
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Xylo
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Many people laughed at the Transformers trailer in a recent Toronto theatre showing "Star Trek". Then we all laughed at the "GI Joe" trailer.
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thegreatfratsby
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
"...cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."

So, essentially, Ebert is saying that the new Transformers movie is like jerking off to Wagner?
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shostakobitch
06/23/09

@thegreatfratsby: so that's the warm liquid that kept raining down on my mistress and i at bayreuth. . .
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Wrapitup
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
I wish Megan Fox would save everyone their ten bucks and just make a sex tape already. Preferably with Michael Bay. So then we can all point and laugh at him. Hopefully a giant robot will teabag Bay and then there'll be a giant robot cum explosion. See? This is already better than anything Michael Bay has done since the nineties.
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shostakobitch
06/23/09

@Wrapitup: maybe in the third franchise installment her sybian will get transformed into a, um, evil sybian that vibrates even more.
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iplaudius
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Did you just verbally ravage Megan Fox? I think you did.

FIRE RICHARD LAWSON!
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StonedAndDethroned
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Hear that? It's the sound of a million teenage boys not caring.
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kookla
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Did Roger Ebert just dust off his review for the original Transformers movie? Because that description pretty much summed up the first one.
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CaptainFantastic
06/23/09

@kookla: If it ain't broke, dont' fix it?
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Pope John Peeps II
06/23/09

@kookla: I guess when you make the same movie a second time, you can expect the same review.
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kookla
06/23/09

@CaptainFantastic: I don't know if you mean the movie or Ebert. Or both.

@Pope John Peeps II: I saw the first one and I'm still not sure what I saw.
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this_mad_woman
06/23/09

@kookla: i thought the first movie would never end, and i just watched it on hbo or something. but the ebert review, even if similar to the first, is tremendously enjoyable. i always think his best reviews are for movies he hates.
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kookla
06/23/09

@this_mad_woman: I pretty much trust Ebert's review. I want to read the entire review, because just this bit was hilarious.

@MissPeacock: I couldn't tell from one moment to the next: who or what was transforming, which was the good or bad machine, and when my ears would stop bleeding from the deafening sound effects.
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dado
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Josh Baskin saved us from skyscrapers that turn into robot toys...why can't anyone save us from this?
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El Matardillo
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Some respected critics have attributed the film's appeal to Megan Fox's "phantasmagoric" rack, which is said to be compelling enough to engage even gentlemen of exquisite grace.
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rudi_freude
06/23/09

In reply to The Transformers Sequel Is Loud, Obnoxious, and Loud
Can we stop talking about Perez Hilt - OH, The Transformers! Carry on.

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mmstk101
06/23/09

@rudi_freude: Hah! Well played.
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