The Saga of Chet Haze's Lost iPad

If you enjoyed the heart-pounding action of Saving Private Ryan and the taut intrigue of The Da Vinci Code, you'll love dynamic thrill ride that is: The Son of the Star of Those Movies Lost His iPad.
Lindsay Lohan Laughs Off 'Exhaustion' With a Tweet
Yesterday, the internet held its breath at reports that Lindsay Lohan was being rushed to the hospital. Could this be the end for LiLo's tragic roller coaster of a life?
Katy Perry Commits Second Faux Pas of the Day
Where do you go from a misguided cover of "Niggas in Paris"? Dissing Beyoncé sounds about right. While discussing a potential collaboration with Rihanna on BBC 1, Perry noted that she doesn't want to rush things. And then she got passive-aggressive.
Did Obama Walk Out on the Republicans?
Like everyone else, we miss The West Wing. But it's okay! Democrats and Republicans are trying to put on their own community-theater version of the television program in Washington right now: House Majority Leader Eric Cantor interrupts the president! President Obama storms out of the meeting! And Donna is the victim…
Space Station Nearly Obliterated, No Big Deal
"Everyone into the survival pods, quickly! We may be smashed and the pressure could blow! Space death and boiling blood is what we face!" These words or some version of them were likely spoken aboard the International Space Station yesterday around 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, when the astronauts there were *nearly*…
Serbia Not Too Happy With Chelsea Handler
While discussing Amy Winehouse's recent disaster concert in Belgrade on her E! public access talk show, comedian Chelsea Handler, and her panelists, said some offensive things about Serbia and its people, and those people are now angry.
Justin Bieber Brings Further Unrest to Middle East
The historic Bieber-Bibi Summit—in which Canadian and Israeli dreamboats Justin Bieber and Benjamin Netanyahu were to meet over danishes to discuss hair products and the Middle East—is over before it even began. But just who failed to be the mensch in this situation is still up for debate.
Skinny Model Bends Over, Shocks World with Her Skinniness
Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Candice Swanepoel went to a Victoria's Secret event yesterday and made the fatal mistake of bending over. Now the blogosphere is "shocked" that she is "scarily, skeletally, stick-thin!" But is she any thinner than the size she has been rewarded for being, for years?
Is Keith Richards' Book Delaying the Rolling Stones' Next Tour?
Keith Richards may have provided a public service by releasing his autobiography, Life — in which he says Mick Jagger has a "tiny todger." An upcoming Rolling Stones tour is said to be in jeopardy over Richards' remarks about the size of Jagger's dong. Or maybe this is a ploy by a bunch of once-great old timers to…
MSNBC Suspends Joe Scarborough over Political Donations
MSNBC, just to put itself on the record as "consistent," has suspended Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough for the same reason it suspended Keith Olbermann: Political donations without advance approval. Interestingly, Politico, where Scarborough writes a column, instigated the suspension.
Turkey Rescued From Thieving Teen's Crotch, Returned to Store
Times are grim in urban America. And, as one would expect, hard times lead to teenagers trying to shoplift entire turkeys by shoving them down their pants and "waddling" out of stores, nonchalantly. Thank god for surveillance cameras.
Woman Demands Court to Let Her Have Dead Husband's Sperm
A Manhattan woman wants a Connecticut court to let a New Jersey doctor harvest the sperm from her husband's body after he committed suicide so a family friend can have his baby. This is real life, not a soap opera.
Gossip Girl Bids Adieu To Chuck Bass
While the season premiere of Gossip Girl had exotic locales, scandalous extravagance, illegitimate infants, and cat fights, Chuck Bass was missing in action. The ending presented a healthy serving of Bass and explained his whereabouts since being shot. Video inside.
Justin Bieber on the CSI Premiere Is Just as Bad as We Thought It Would Be
Oh, joy! Sometimes, Monday brings things that make us laugh, and this is one of them: a preview clip of Justin Bieber's guest appearance on the upcoming CSI season premiere. Inside, watch—and laugh/cringe—along with the rest of us.
True Blood: The One Where We Learn Why Sookie Is A Telepath
This week's episode of True Blood was disappointingly boring. Considering so many revelations this week, it's shocking that so little could happen.
Behold: Bristol Palin's Full—and Infinitely More Horrid—Acting Debut
I said Bristol Palin was bad when I posted the teaser for her The Secret Life of the American Teenager acting debut, but the full scene is even more excruciating. Palin is like a malfunctioning robot FROM HELL. Video inside.
David Petraeus Faints During Senate Hearing
It appears that John McCain's endless droning was enough to make America's most famous general, David Petraeus, ill during a Senate hearing on Afghanistan today. Petraeus briefly fainted, blaming it on dehydration. McCain's expression is priceless! Is this guy soft?
