Charlie Sheen Now Just Some Guy You Drunkenly Meet in Paris
Ah, Paris in springtime! Romance, confusion, possible capers, getting wasted and posing for photos with Charlie Sheen.
Federal Agency Says Approving Powdered Alcohol Was Just an Error
Powdered alcohol—a.k.a. "Palcohol"—due to be unleashed upon an unprepared, very drunk world this fall, may turn out to be a fading dream. The federal agency that approved the product now says that approval was an error.
Report: Lindsay Lohan Is Lying About Everything
Is Lindsay Lohan really drinking again? Did she actually have a miscarriage? It's all apparently up in the air in the wake of the harrowing finale of her reality show.
Thatz Not Okay: Can I Fuck My High School Enemy's Dad?
So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and…
Florida Man Stopped For DUI, Says He Was Trying to "Drive It Off"
People down here in America's dongle like driving. And drinking. And apparently, driving off the buzz from drinking at home on your way to drinking at the bar.
Foreign Idiots Can't Get Enough of Our Wine
No disrespect to people in foreign countries, but they are approximately the world's biggest suckers, when it comes to believing things about America. No, all Americans are not cowboys; we don't all own guns, and work at Disney Land; and we certainly don't make any good wine.
New Beer For "Sophisticated" Millennials Will Get Millennials Drunker
After a period of recession during which Americans were drinking less beer, Americans are once again drinking plenty of beer. But the millennial generation is not drinking enough beer. That is where a multibillion-dollar international brewing conglomerate's marketing team comes in.
"Still, there's a general sense that the drugs of choice for writers now are more often little blue pills than big brown bottles," writes Adam Gopnik, adding "(You can take the pill, and then send the kids to school.)" So those little blue pills would be, uh... Viagra? Valium? Please don't let it be Viagra.
Except For Dinner Last Night, I Haven't Had a Drink This Year
Alcohol plays a large role in everyone's life. We use it to clean our many wounds, and we add certain percentages of the stuff to our gasoline, within certain states where that's required by regulations. Some of us even drink alcohol, for pleasure or otherwise. But you can count me out of that last group. For all of…
Just in time for cold season, a new study reveals that moderate drinking can boost the immune system. We trust you'll use this information wisely come New Year's Eve.
Drinking Lots and Lots of Wine May Prevent Earth's Spermpocalypse
Important new research proves that drinking lots and lots of wine every week makes men have "stronger sperm." This means the sperm is more likely to reach its "goal," which is some part of a lady, if the sperm was ejaculated in the general direction of a lady.
Cinnabon Vodka
I hope you're happy, you disgusting animals.
If you rely on wine to relax, date, dance, sleep, have fun, and/or comment on the internet, your life is going to fall apart. We're facing a global wine shortage and it's only going to get worse.
Cool Dad/Maryland Attorney General Refuses to Bust Teenage Son's Party
This past June, Maryland Attorney General Douglas Gansler walked into a party full of drunk teenagers dancing on Skoal can-covered beer pong tables in Bethany Beach, Delaware. But did he, as Maryland's most powerful legal authority and a candidate for governor, do anything to stop it? Nope. He just found his teenage…
Michigan Law Would Guarantee All Pints of Beer Are 16 Ounces
The federal government might be shut down but Michigan lawmakers are hard at work protecting our right to a good value. Rep. David Knezek (D-Dearborn Heights) and Rep. Brandon Dillon (D-Grand Rapids) have written a proposal to amend the state Liquor Control Act to make sure that when a pint of beer is offered at a bar…
Study: You Are Drinking So Much Wine
Lah dee da, look at you, Ms. Classy, sipping on some wine, right out of a wine glass. No pulls of Popov straight from the bottle for you! Only the best, when it comes to drinking. The fact is, ma'am, you are drunk. And no wonder. You have no idea how much you're drinking.
Drinkers These Days Love Disgusting Flavored Booze
America, as a nation, is as drunk as it's been in a long, long time. We are seriously fucked up. We have a problem. It was bad enough when we were guzzling mouthwash and rubbing alcohol. Now, we've turned to something even more revolting: "whipped cream vodka."
Study: White Country Boys are the Drunkest
Those of you who were fortunate enough to attend a high school with white, rural, male students will be unsurprised to learn that white, rural, male high school students are wasted. So, so wasted.
If your kid develops language skills at an early age, chances are he’ll also develop drinking skills at a much earlier age. Or so says the latest study that correlates early intellectual development with heavier drinking habits.
A new study shows that raising cigarette taxes may also lead to lower alcohol consumption, because if you can't chain smoke while getting drunk, then fuck it.
