This article " may throw you into a xenophobic panic" -- BECAUSE it reeks xenophobia and lack of understanding of other (apparently less "developed" & "open-minded) countries, like, say, Thailand and the Netherlands.
"Do Not Use Drugs" -- Because it's legally okay to use drugs in the US? No, because you don't know how to use drugs and not to get caught in another country and you have less resources to get out of trouble there, even if it's Canada.
"Know that Pranks Are Always Lost in Translation" -- Yeah, like if you string a line across the road and trip a lady and she gets hurt, you won't be in a load of shit if you're in the US. Don't do stupid pranks regardless of where you're.
"Never Underestimate How Prude the Rest of the World Is" -- Countries that don't have strong Judeo-Christian/ Islam ethical background are actually a hell lot more open-minded about sex than the US is. Like, say, Japan and Thailand.
"Learn This Sentence in the Native Dialect" -- Good suggestion, though I don't think it's likely that most have enough language talent to speak it intelligibly in a language they don't know, especially when they're in trouble and in shock. Carry a card with that sentence printed in both the native language and English instead.
"Don't Start Shit" -- True. Though it has to be said that even if you're Japanese, you'd still get the same treatment in Japan.
"Don't Go Places You're Not Allowed" -- True again, though I have no idea how that incites xenophobia or takes fun out of traveling abroad. Beside, isn't that part of the last point?
Yes, it's best to keep a low profile if you like to drink and smoke pot while abroad. If you do find yourself in a threatening situation, like I did once - while drunk: Hide in your hotel room. Lock the door, go into the bathroom - lock that door - and don't make a sound while the nutcase/possible narco (who you met in a local nightclub and who tried to sell you dope - but you said no) who is also bombed bangs on your door repeatedly and calls out your name (and badly mispronounces it - Thank God).
Hey, kiddies, remember: The Talented Mr. Ripley is NOT a how-to guide (it's harder than it looks).
Or, for safety's sake, always travel in groups of three. That way you can frame your unknowing third wheel for your own mischievous, homicidal highjinks.
I always try and follow this one: "Do your best not to be near the scenes of any vicious felony murders." But then I always run smack into the gentle misdemeanor sort.
I thought the Fay case went down in Singapore, not Japan. Or maybe I'm just confused and you didn't mean to insinuate that all these events happened in the same country.
"Do not be a terrible person whilst traveling or working abroad" might be excellent advice as well in either case, I suppose.
@She_of_the_Socks: I think that simply "Don't be an asshole" would be the best advice.
Fay was dealt with in Singapore, where they don't screw around with people. I remember the Singapore embassy in SF being overrun with phone calls from people offering to cane Fay.
@QADude: Sometimes being an asshole is helpful, though! For example, in dealing with employees at JFK, re: a friend's lost luggage. No one would listen to me until I began getting terribly impolite and causing a scene, screaming, "Suitcases don't dissolve into thin air. That luggage is somewhere in this fucking airport and I am not leaving without it. So stop talking on the phone with your boyfriend, summon the strength to keep your eyes from rolling each time I address you, do your fucking job, and I'll be out of your face forever." And then the luggage was found within five minutes.
@She_of_the_Socks: Ohhh yeah. I'm guilty of pulling the unhinged b*tch card once while in transit through the Frankfurt airport, when Lufthansa misplaced one of my luggage pieces and routed it erroneously to JFK instead of LAX. I made such as spectacle of myself at the Lufthansa counter--banshee-like wailing, tears, guilt-tripping ("Your incompetence is going to make me miss my flight!"--strategically hitting the Germs where it hurts them most)--that the horrified Lufthansa staff retrieved my luggage stat and put it on the correct flight just to be rid of me. I remember feeling quite ashamed afterward, and thinking, "Thank God I'll never see these people again."
I visited Italy shortly after those douche shits from the US Military flew their plane too low fucking around trying to "see if they could fly it underneath a cable car wire" and ended up shearing the wire, sending a gondola full of Italian skiiers (20!) to their deaths. As this was fresh in their minds, needless to say, I felt compelled to be on my best behavior...
@lobstr: There is definitely a sense of entitlement for gringos abroad. Probably we are the most hated visitor to any land. (In Julio's that year, that was generally agreed, but one said the Canadians are pretty bad too.) I know my pals and I always avoided them in Mexico, and we wuz them! Obnoxious, demanding asses.
On another note, just why was it the Iraquis didn't greet Our Boys with roses and sunshine?
@Tremonius: 'Iraqis' is what I think you mean, and as I recall, the ones who weren't trying to kill us were indifferent or trying to see what we would give them. I think nationalism is a moot point when you're getting fucked on both ends.
In most of my travels, nobody seems to give a shit that I'm an American. However, I also do my best to speak the native language and not start talking jingoistic shit every twenty minutes. You're right about the sense of entitlement, though. It's the assholes who think that they are superior to other people simply by virtue of where they were born that make us look like ass.
I only know what I see on Locked Up Abroad, but American embassies don't seem to be as helpful as I was always told. *Maybe* they'll help get you an english-speaking lawyer, but that's about it.
Guede is the sole perpetrator. Really, they find irrefutable evidence of sexual contact with her and then his stools in her toilet. He's also a drug dealer and a known thief who flees to Germany after the crime. Plus, his version of events didn't have anything at all to do with Sollecito/Knox. Come on now, wouldn't he think to implicate them if they had actually played some sort of role in the crime? His fake story goes in a completely different direction. What happened here is that the Italian police went and found some confused college students, interrogated them and then used their confused statements as evidence of their guilt.
@i'm a bottle: I'm fascinated by this story & have been following it on both CNN (here she seems totally innocent) & BBC (mostly guilty). It's a real mystery. The DNA evidence does seem contaminated while the circumstantial is quite strong. Knox accused her boss, Patrick Lumumba, of going into Kercher's room before she heard screaming - then she changed her story to not having been at the apartment at all b/c she was at Sollecito's. (Lumumba was later found to have an airtight alibi) Her story didn't just change from possible police bullying - it radically changed.
@once: They're innocent, but they still felt it necessary to lie. I'm pretty convinced that they were really scared, and thought to lie their way out of it, but they obviously underestimated police thoroughness and got tripped up in their lies. Just because someone lies doesn't mean they're guilty.
Also, try to reconstruct everything you did on an otherwise unremarkable day when you've got a team of highly-trained investigators who are trying to trip you up. Add alcohol and illegal substances in the mix, and you've got an insurmountable problem on your hands.
The best course of action is to write down what you can remember for yourself and then stick to that story. Don't let them try to talk you into implicating others either. That's such a credibility killer.
@i'm a bottle: Over a thousand women have disappeared in Juarez in the last few years - probably many more, as that many were found in shallow graves. The policia are directly implicated, and so they go out and grab some dumb gringos and beat them until there is a confession. Case solved.
@Mo MoDo: Same here. The idea of getting buggard by a big burly prison warden made me afraid to even smoke a cigarette in Europe (exaggerating...a little).
A Message To Rudy promoted this comment
Edited by no I said no I won't no at 12/07/09 12:25 PM
no I said no I won't no was starred
no I said no I won't no was unstarred
@no I said no I won't no: LOL. I will make a note of this and keep two or three lit cigarettes in my mouth at all times when I am there. Cancer is a far better fate than a Turkish cornholing.
Let's not forget don't walk anywhere (like the street) where you might get a speck of cannabis on your shoe tread before you fly to Dubai!
A father-of-three who was found with a microscopic speck (0.003g, invisible to the naked eye) of cannabis stuck to the bottom of one of his shoes was sentenced to four years in a Dubai prison last year: [www.thisislondon.co.uk]
They also arrest people for over the counter medications: [news.bbc.co.uk]
@applejuice: UAE is such a fucked up place. I keep telling people that Dubai isn't Vegas but the next thing I hear they're in prison for years for pulling dumb shit. Bad news bears, man.
@Trulymadlyme:
Someone I know just had a connecting flight through there and they told me they were going to take a loose sleeping pill in their pocket to take when they got on the flight in Dubai. So they would be getting off the plane in Dubai and going through the security and drug checks with this pill in their pocket. I honestly had to beg them not to do it. I showed them some of the articles about people being imprisoned for cold medicine etc and they finally agreed.
They said "but you would visit me in a Dubai prison wouldn't you?" No, probably not.
@applejuice: I hate to say it, but it is a race issue...look at the photo of the poor guy who was arrested for the dope. I went there last month expecting the worst, but as a blonde female they barely glanced at me or my passport, let alone my bag
@Arland Penchant: I know the guy in that picture is a Rastafarian, but there was a lot of coverage of this in the UK press recently and they were saying close to 100 people from the UK in the past year were arrested over similar crazy things in UAE.
One of the worst stories I read about was a Swiss guy who had poppy seeds from the bread roll on the plane still on his clothes - he was sentenced to 4 years.
They say they use sensitve equipment that can detect the most minute amounts. And they arrest people over over the counter stuff too.
@applejuice: That's nothing compared to the British teenage boy who got raped by two Arab men, went to the police to complain, and they arrested HIM!!!!!!! His mother has been campaigning to get people not to visit Dubai for a few years.
@i'm a bottle: I thought the mother was English. I've always kind of wanted to go to Dubai, but after I heard about that I decided Vegas was just fine. Any country that arrests you for getting raped isn't one I want to visit, no matter how fun their man made islands and indoor ski slopes are.
The kid was French/Swiss, but his mother was a French journalist (hence the media coverage).
I'd forgotten that one of the men who raped him had AIDS. Bonus points when you get raped AND have the fear of a life threatening disease transmission hanging over your head AND you get to go to jail.
She actually did cartwheels while in a room for several hours waiting to be questioned - and the explanation is that she was coming down off of being stoned and was trying to do anything she could think of to stay awake.
Anyway as someone who lives (illegally) in another country I can add these rules.
7. Don't fuck with the local girls. Bothering local girls is the easiest way possible to get beaten up by locals and then arrested by the police if you try to defend yourself. This is true in nearly any country in the world.
8. Don't go to the cops for anything. You'll get put on a list and any time a crime happens and a foreigner who vaguely fits your description is described as the person who did it you'll get hassled. If you are mugged or sexually assaulted go to the US embassy instead of the cops. In general if you were mugged and didn't lose that much money and weren't hurt that bad don't even bother the embassy. Just deal with it.
9. If you are a gay man be very, very careful who you hit on. Many straight euro men dress, look and act exactly like gay American men and are ridiculously homophobic. Your gaydar will not work. They will beat you up and good luck getting any help from the cops in that situation.
10. Avoid cocaine in Europe. For one, it's insanely watered down at this point so you'll have to do tons of it to get buzzed. For another ,the bars have really, really gotten tired of coked up Americans and Brits and will probably turn you in to the cops themselves if you act like a fucking cokehead.
@drunkexpatwriter: I would disagree about not telling the embassy if you "were mugged...and weren't hurt that bad". Bother their asses and let them know. Spain started taking crimes against tourists a little more seriously when they started getting bad press and getting listed in official embassy reports as dangerous to visit.
Very, very true. I was a crime and courthouse reporter for 10 years so I know how cops and prosecutorss think and I've been in Europe for nine years so I know how the systems work here.
First off, the day after the murder she wouldn't have been buying lingerie with her boyfriend - she would have been in any country other than Italy - most likely back home, but certainly at least France or Switzlerland.
If a big crime happens near you in Europe and and you are not a Euro get the fuck out of dodge until shit calms down.
@drunkexpatwriter: 1)At least I'm annoying them as well and 2) you might need an official police report to get some of your documents replaced (you can cancel your credit card by phone but if you want to pick up another one at a local branch of your bank, or American Express, or get a temporary passport, in Spain and in other countries you'll probably need a police report.)
@SarahHeartburn: When I got mugged the card companies were happy to fedex me new cards - and the embassy will give you a temporary passport without a police report.
I've never dealt with it in Spain but everyone I know here who has gone to the police about a mugging has said it was an enormous waste of time, a huge hassle and resulted in the cops going over their papers very, very carefully and generally being dicks to them.
@drunkexpatwriter: But you don't have residency. Here, if you don't report a robbery you're fucked without the police report. If you have any documents or bank cards or whatever issued by the country you're in, even temporary student visa or health insurance, or even if you've signed a lease, you should protect yourself with a police report. I've heard of people who've had wallets robbed, shrugged it off and then suffered identity theft based on stuff in their wallet they forgot about. Here or in the US, I report everything, hassle or not. If you don't it may come back to haunt you.
@drunkexpatwriter: Hell, I called the cops on some stupid punkass banlieusards harassing me and the American girls I was talking to at Les Halles. (I know, I know -- I don't usually go there but I had been at a bar nearby and really, really needed a Big Mac.) I spent maybe an hour -- but the punk who swatted at me with his jacket (assault, as far as I'm concerned) probably spent the night, and I was pissed off enough that that was well worth it.
Also, I got a ride home in a cop car, lights on and everything. Whee!
@drunkexpatwriter: I would think twice about trying to flee the country. First off, most countries in Western Europe won't blink at extraditing you if you're not a citizen and you've fled the country at a strange moment, like after someone close to you was murdered. Secondly, when your case is looked at by the police and the local prosecutor in the country you ran away from, the fact that you tried to flee will (rightly) be a strike against you. I would go find a good local attorney and ask him or her to coordinate my dealings with the police. Cooperate with the investigation as best as possible. You should also ask for an interpreter even if you speak the language with near-fluency. I don't live in Italy, though. And I actually have more faith in the justice system in the country I'm in than in my native country -- though I'm not naive.
@SarahHeartburn: Somebody will please explain to me how the reputation of Paris is not affected by its role as the crime capital of Europe. We were easy marks, I know, but in the Metro the first night, I noted some goon's hand in my lady's backpack, and the next day my wallet was gone, and we spent three hours at the nearest PD only to be lectured about not speaking French. There were many others there; some heartbreaking cases of love and loss.
The police in Paris, near as we can tell, ride bikes in threes and never ever venture underground. It is felt that the quickest way to relase all of the revenue from tourism to the local economy is to take it all immediately. That way taxes can remain low.
Yet here is another Fodor's, raving about the Louvre ...
@drunkexpatwriter: We were instructed to take two Metros in Paris to find someone who cared about crime against Americans. I guess they weren't working that day.
@Tremonius: I think tourist boards have a lot to do with hiding crime statistics. It's actually gotten a bit better here in Spain, I think; I live in the middle of tourist town in Madrid, and it's now nothing like 1999-2002 when I stopped carrying a purse because I got tired of people trying to open it or yank it off me. The cops will take things seriously when the country loses money when tourism € decline. As for the French cops, seeing how they've handled the riots of (deservedly) pissed off immigrants, don't expect common sense.
@Tremonius: Fodors does note that pick-pocketing isn't an unusual crime in major cities in Europe, a crime that's relatively rare in the U.S. On the other hand, we Americans tend to have a higher occurrence of mass shootings and gun crime, so given that, I'll take the pick-pocketing. It's still pretty easy to avoid if you keep your wallets in zippered pockets or your front pocket.
@i'm a bottle: Excellent advice. I also wonder if she was studying in a US based program and why they didn't keep an eye on her. Those overseas programs cost an arm and a leg, and a good one should have some contacts with the US Embassy and the local government.
@SarahHeartburn: Erasmus is a weird program. I'm not sure how the oversite works, but I do know that Erasmus students in general seem to have a well deserved reputation for being party maniacs. I know that I've pretty much never seen the Erasmus students here even slightly close to sober.
@drunkexpatwriter: Erasmus, I think, is only for European students within Europe (but most American universities have some overseas program, though sometimes 2 or 3 schools will group together for logistical reasons). I think the Erasmus kids are wild because many European kids live at home during college - the US system of going to live in another city or state is not so common here. So their Erasmus year is their one year away from mom and dad, and all hell breaks loose.
Inside certain of them upscale Juarez clubs, a senior lady who was not otherwise in circulation would try and pick a beef with anyone. Me. Were she able to spark sufficient turmoil, the cops would be called, and guess who would be expected to pay the fare for the evening. It was the only way the lady had of minting coin.
I saw it in Naipaul somewhere*. He was trying to leave one of those dread dark domains and one on the shore spotted him and came onboard to demand a bribe. Innocence only sparks interest sometimes. Jesus.
* Bend in the River, same as the old Jimmy Stewart western.
Paris Hilton, who historically has little yappy dogs with IQs higher than hers, is in no position to criticize anyone about anything. Especially looks. Paris looks like she was dragged through a keyhole and dunked in bleach.
And, unlike Alexa, does not have an ounce of talent in ther entire stick figure body.
12/08/09
"Do Not Use Drugs" -- Because it's legally okay to use drugs in the US? No, because you don't know how to use drugs and not to get caught in another country and you have less resources to get out of trouble there, even if it's Canada.
"Know that Pranks Are Always Lost in Translation" -- Yeah, like if you string a line across the road and trip a lady and she gets hurt, you won't be in a load of shit if you're in the US. Don't do stupid pranks regardless of where you're.
"Never Underestimate How Prude the Rest of the World Is" -- Countries that don't have strong Judeo-Christian/ Islam ethical background are actually a hell lot more open-minded about sex than the US is. Like, say, Japan and Thailand.
"Learn This Sentence in the Native Dialect" -- Good suggestion, though I don't think it's likely that most have enough language talent to speak it intelligibly in a language they don't know, especially when they're in trouble and in shock. Carry a card with that sentence printed in both the native language and English instead.
"Don't Start Shit" -- True. Though it has to be said that even if you're Japanese, you'd still get the same treatment in Japan.
"Don't Go Places You're Not Allowed" -- True again, though I have no idea how that incites xenophobia or takes fun out of traveling abroad. Beside, isn't that part of the last point?
12/07/09
Yeah, it was scary.
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Or, for safety's sake, always travel in groups of three. That way you can frame your unknowing third wheel for your own mischievous, homicidal highjinks.
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"Do not be a terrible person whilst traveling or working abroad" might be excellent advice as well in either case, I suppose.
12/07/09
Fay was dealt with in Singapore, where they don't screw around with people. I remember the Singapore embassy in SF being overrun with phone calls from people offering to cane Fay.
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[en.wikipedia.org]
12/07/09
On another note, just why was it the Iraquis didn't greet Our Boys with roses and sunshine?
12/07/09
In most of my travels, nobody seems to give a shit that I'm an American. However, I also do my best to speak the native language and not start talking jingoistic shit every twenty minutes. You're right about the sense of entitlement, though. It's the assholes who think that they are superior to other people simply by virtue of where they were born that make us look like ass.
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No, the Iroquois, actually, as Elton John invites us to sing with him about that great ravaged race to the north ...
Oh, great father of the Iroquois
Come put on your breeches, bois ...
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Also, try to reconstruct everything you did on an otherwise unremarkable day when you've got a team of highly-trained investigators who are trying to trip you up. Add alcohol and illegal substances in the mix, and you've got an insurmountable problem on your hands.
The best course of action is to write down what you can remember for yourself and then stick to that story. Don't let them try to talk you into implicating others either. That's such a credibility killer.
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A father-of-three who was found with a microscopic speck (0.003g, invisible to the naked eye) of cannabis stuck to the bottom of one of his shoes was sentenced to four years in a Dubai prison last year: [www.thisislondon.co.uk]
They also arrest people for over the counter medications: [news.bbc.co.uk]
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Someone I know just had a connecting flight through there and they told me they were going to take a loose sleeping pill in their pocket to take when they got on the flight in Dubai. So they would be getting off the plane in Dubai and going through the security and drug checks with this pill in their pocket. I honestly had to beg them not to do it. I showed them some of the articles about people being imprisoned for cold medicine etc and they finally agreed.
They said "but you would visit me in a Dubai prison wouldn't you?" No, probably not.
12/07/09
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One of the worst stories I read about was a Swiss guy who had poppy seeds from the bread roll on the plane still on his clothes - he was sentenced to 4 years.
They say they use sensitve equipment that can detect the most minute amounts. And they arrest people over over the counter stuff too.
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The kid was French/Swiss, but his mother was a French journalist (hence the media coverage).
I'd forgotten that one of the men who raped him had AIDS. Bonus points when you get raped AND have the fear of a life threatening disease transmission hanging over your head AND you get to go to jail.
12/07/09
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Anyway as someone who lives (illegally) in another country I can add these rules.
7. Don't fuck with the local girls. Bothering local girls is the easiest way possible to get beaten up by locals and then arrested by the police if you try to defend yourself. This is true in nearly any country in the world.
8. Don't go to the cops for anything. You'll get put on a list and any time a crime happens and a foreigner who vaguely fits your description is described as the person who did it you'll get hassled. If you are mugged or sexually assaulted go to the US embassy instead of the cops. In general if you were mugged and didn't lose that much money and weren't hurt that bad don't even bother the embassy. Just deal with it.
9. If you are a gay man be very, very careful who you hit on. Many straight euro men dress, look and act exactly like gay American men and are ridiculously homophobic. Your gaydar will not work. They will beat you up and good luck getting any help from the cops in that situation.
10. Avoid cocaine in Europe. For one, it's insanely watered down at this point so you'll have to do tons of it to get buzzed. For another ,the bars have really, really gotten tired of coked up Americans and Brits and will probably turn you in to the cops themselves if you act like a fucking cokehead.
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Very, very true. I was a crime and courthouse reporter for 10 years so I know how cops and prosecutorss think and I've been in Europe for nine years so I know how the systems work here.
First off, the day after the murder she wouldn't have been buying lingerie with her boyfriend - she would have been in any country other than Italy - most likely back home, but certainly at least France or Switzlerland.
If a big crime happens near you in Europe and and you are not a Euro get the fuck out of dodge until shit calms down.
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I've never dealt with it in Spain but everyone I know here who has gone to the police about a mugging has said it was an enormous waste of time, a huge hassle and resulted in the cops going over their papers very, very carefully and generally being dicks to them.
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The less interaction you have with the police during the course of your life the better.
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Also, I got a ride home in a cop car, lights on and everything. Whee!
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The police in Paris, near as we can tell, ride bikes in threes and never ever venture underground. It is felt that the quickest way to relase all of the revenue from tourism to the local economy is to take it all immediately. That way taxes can remain low.
Yet here is another Fodor's, raving about the Louvre ...
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I am old, I am old
I must keep my wallet in my trousers rolled...
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Inside certain of them upscale Juarez clubs, a senior lady who was not otherwise in circulation would try and pick a beef with anyone. Me. Were she able to spark sufficient turmoil, the cops would be called, and guess who would be expected to pay the fare for the evening. It was the only way the lady had of minting coin.
I saw it in Naipaul somewhere*. He was trying to leave one of those dread dark domains and one on the shore spotted him and came onboard to demand a bribe. Innocence only sparks interest sometimes. Jesus.
* Bend in the River, same as the old Jimmy Stewart western.
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And, unlike Alexa, does not have an ounce of talent in ther entire stick figure body.