Do you remember what it means to be deeply, passionately in love? This dumb dog does, having found the one object that can fill the rectangular, 8.5-by-11-inch hole in his heart.

Who’s a smart doggie? Is it you? Is it you? No, it’s not, if your name is Benno, at least. The 4-year-old Belgian Malinois recently goofed his way onto an operating table by scarfing down almost two dozen live bullets, The New York Daily News reports.

Idiot dog commits suicide.