• Kelly Bensimon got dissed by Gerard Butler after the two exchanged phone numbers in June "after a night of heavy flirting." He apparently never called her and avoided her when he ran into her again recently. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Adam Lambert's fans have taken idolatry to a new level at some of his live shows by tossing sex toys on stage while he was performing. [EOnline]
  
  
• Surprise, surprise — Joan Rivers isn't a fan of Jon Gosselin, whom she says should have worn a condom more often. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ashley Olsen says that she's surprised that she didn't "end up like Britney Spears." Oh, but there's still time darling, there's still plenty of time. Don't stop dreaming! [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Dustin Lance Black is suing the website that posted x-rated photos of him recently, asking for $3-million in damages. [Page Six]
  
  
• Griffin O'Neal says that his father Ryan O'Neal supplied him with cocaine when he was only 11 years old. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Here's what James Caan says about women in a recent interview: "They're fucking nuts." Remember, this is James Caan saying this ladies, umkay?! [Page Six]
  
  
• Elle Macpherson's shitty acting skills are the primary reason Mischa Barton still has a job after being institutionalized with a breakdown last month. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• So you know how some of Madonna's early 90s faxed love letters to a bouncer were recently made public? Well, it appears as though she may have plagiarized from poet Anne Sexton in one of them. [Page Six]
  
  
• A singer named Jill Sobule says that Katy Perry is a "fucking thieving little slut" because she feels that Perry ripped "I Kissed a Girl" from her. [Sun]
  
  
• Sienna Miller says that she understands why people might hate her after she started dating a married father of four. [Daily Mail]

• Megan Fox said that she was blinded by the paparazzi flashes going off and all the people calling her name and she was so confused by it all that she didn't see the kid trying to give her a flower in the now infamous moment captured on film and circulated everywhere. Of the incident she said, "I feel so sad for him...that kills me," and offered to send him and autograph to take his virginity or something. She's so cool, isn't she? [Collider]
  
  
• Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan are developing some sort of reality show starring Lindsay that helps out people who have messed up their lives and gives them a million bucks to start over again. We just hope that Lindsay doesn't steal all the money. [Daily News]
  
  
• Kate Moss got into a fight with her new rocker boyfriend and got so pissed that she tossed his laptop into a swimming pool. Unfortunately, the laptop had six new songs by his band, The Kills, on it that weren't backed up anywhere else, and now they're gone forever. Such are the perils of rockers who date coke-addled supermodels. [Mirror]
  
  
• The dude who's been banging Katie Lee Joel, Yigal Azrouel, has apparently been spreading the love all over the place with multiple women. Page Six reports today that he especially loves to bone fashion magazine editors who he thinks can help his career as a designer. [Page Six]
  
  
• Harvey Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black says that he knew growing up Mormon that God didn't love him because he's a gay man, and that he even contemplated suicide. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Rihanna is set to take the stand and spill the beans against Chris Brown in court today about his vicious assault against her earlier in the year. [Daily News]
  
  
• Sarah Jessica Parker got pulled over in the Hamptons the other night for driving her Mercedes minivan without the headlights on. Her son James was in the back seat. Kate Gosselin would be proud. [Page Six]
  
  
• Cristiano Ronaldo said that he had a great time "talking" to Paris Hilton during their recent hookup that sent the London tabloids into a hysterical frenzy. [Sun]
  
  
• Poor little Mercy. Madonna latest African adoption, already looks confused and bewildered as all hell. [Daily Mail]

• Yesterday, we reported: "Susan Boyle's BACKINYOFACE, mothafuckas!" And now we're sad to report: Susan Boyle's "exhausted" again. She pulled out of a Manchester tour date because she wasn't feelin' it. This can't be good. I mean, let's just say what needs to be said here: the woman always kind of felt a little, well, off. It was her quirk and naivety of fame that did the whole "capture our hearts" thing, so, you know, you'd think: these things would be something to watch out for, indicators of some lack of preparedness for the fame she achieved two seconds after she stepped off that stage the first time. And now, here we are: a tired woman, being driven crazy by too much at once. Sigh. [TMZ]
  
  
• Still can't get over the Dustin Lance Black photos, if only because I'm trying to remember which other non-acting Oscar winners have had photos of them leaked. Really, this entire thing is just a solid Jeopardy answer in the making. Anyway: Black released a statement in response to the photos leaking, in which he apologizes for not practicing safe sex. "More important than the embarrassment of this incident is the misleading message these images send. I apologize and cannot emphasize enough the importance of responsible sexual practices." [E!]
  
  
• WTF. Cindy Adams wrote two pages for the Post this morning on how to stash cash away. Sample line: "You can glue single bills flat inside luggage lining — providing your suitcase is classy enough for a lining and you don't mind the inconvenience of then ripping that bag to shreds to get the paste off the money." Uh, thank you, Crazy Aunt Cindy? Next week, Neel Shah teaches you how to beat a dude with a lead pipe. [Page Six]
  
  
• Har! Salman Rushdie tore the shit up 'out the dance floor at a party the other night. Noteth Page Six, poetry in motion: "'She had heels on, so he only came up to her breasts,' laughs our source. 'With her low-cut dress and his bald head, when he's dancing with her he looks like her third boob.'" Oh, come on. That's funny. [Page Six]
  
  
• Prince Harry's new ladyfriend is a total starfucker. She dated Russell Brand at one point, and one time she had a "romp" in a hot tub with Jack Osbourne and another girl. A "romp," from what I understand, is a funny British word for "sex that isn't really sex" (as opposed to a "snog" which is definitely sex, or a "muggle" which is a non-magical person). [News Of The World]
  
  
• Colin Ferrell needs more bodyguards to protect him from all the paparazzi headed his way. I mean, really? Colin Ferrell? [Rush & Malloy]
  
  
• Michael Phelps is still rocking some kind of porn stache. It's fantastic. [TMZ]
  
  
• Craig Ferguson almost killed himself before running into the friend who would help him have the career he has now. ""I felt worse than I ever had. ... I was a drunk, a loser and a disaster as a human being. ... The shame was immense. It pushed down on me like a terrible weight." Wow. [Rush & Malloy]
  
  
• Ron Burkle denied everything Mark Ebner wrote about him on his blog that didn't make it into Ebner's book on Burkle, which mostly amounts to an "omitted chapter," a salacious little bit where Burkle calls in prostitutes for a girl-on-girl show. Ebner once wrote an article on the Church of Scientology, where, for the purposes of full-disclosure, he wrote: "I am an ex-drug addict who has solicited prostitutes in my day. I've also masturbated and inhaled at the same time, and I have been arrested more than once in my life. I dropped out of high school and I've been under psychiatric care." Here's the thing, Mark: you're not a celebrity! Not even the Scientologists care! Too much full disclosure. TMI. Seriously. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell emerged from a strip club Friday night covered in lipstick. Cute. [P*r*z H*lt*n]

The photos depict Black in a bed with another gentleman, back in November of 2006 (if the photo timestamps are to be believed). Perez suggests that there may also be video, which of course we would need to see were it to become available, for strictly journalistic purposes.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.For now though, there are only the few photos, in which Mr. Black performs fellatio on his partner and receives him anally, sans condom. Eesh. Perhaps back in 2006 Black never imagined he'd become famous enough for someone to want to leak these for money. A rude awakening now, we'd imagine.

We also find it peculiar (and maybe heartening?) that a screenwriter would be featured salaciously in a sexy photo scandal. Is this all that stripping Diablo Cody's doing? I guess in Black's case, it helps if you're young and hot and terribly now. Basically, don't get any big ideas, Eric Roth.

Perez has the decidedly NSFW uncensored images over at his site. We haven't looked at them. We swear.

• Tom Cruise will play the U.S. president in a movie called the 28th Amendment. It's about how there's a shadow government that only he, a Scientologist space alien, can destroy. [Showbiz
  Spy]
  
• OK! finally made Jennifer Aniston say it, probably through sheer persistence/obnoxious questioning: "I am totally over Brad." [OK!]
• So what if Milk writer Dustin Lance Black wants to carry his Oscar statuette in his backpack and show it off in West Hollywood bars? If I had one I'd buy it a seat every time I flew commercial and not talk to anyone but lil' goldie. [P6]
  
• When you're Lindsay Lohan, people just gift you leases on million-dollar apartments for showing up at a few parties. Sorry, correction: When you're Lindsay Lohan and it's like 2006. [P6]
  
• Katie Holmes "stole" the cover of Glamour, which was promised to Lindsay Lohan, in Lindsay Lohan's special fantasyland of pure imagination, where the movie star can spin drama from literally anything. [Scoop]

Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech provided the most vivid example of the latter: A tearful testimony of what it meant to live life openly as a gay man, it ended with comforting reassurance to the millions of fledgling gay boys—and smattering of girls—out there in the Oscars audience. Echoing a similar Harvey Milk speech that inspired Black himself to come out of the closet, the writer promised these bullied Beyoncé fans that they too have worth, and will one day escape the small towns in which they're trapped (whether by wheelchair, or some other, less literal-minded literary device).

Beautiful, right? Surely a sentiment with universal appeal, and one that would bring a tear to even the most child-blindingest of Mumbai slumlords. That is, if it hadn't been edited out of India's Oscars broadcast. A tipster writes:

It is my understanding that Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech was edited for the rebroadcast of the Oscars in India such that the mention of being gay was removed. The actual broadcast began at 630a.m., so it's aired in real time and also taped and rebroadcast later in the day. My source for the info saw both broadcasts of his acceptance speech, so there you are.

If that's true, it's an unconscionable act of censorship and a giant step backwards for what was touted as the most global Oscars in history. We mean, how would they like it if every time A. R. Rahman or an adorable Slumdog Millionaire orphan took to the stage to praise their country and culture, The Abbey's Official Viewing Party cut to more "acceptable" footage of Baz Luhrmann mouthing the words to his big musical number?

Slumdog Millionaire dominated as expected, an international sweep in a night studded with British, Indian and Australian wins. Not that there was much danger of nationalist unity within Hollywood; host Hugh Jackman managed to work some surprisingly vicious showbiz digs into the show, including lines from Steve Martin and Tina Fey not-so-subtly mocking Scientology and Ben Stiller's unsparing imitation of Joaquin Phoenix.

There were some misfires, like the lengthy nominee tributes involving top stars giving overlong, wedding-toast-style speeches for each contender in top categories like Best Actor and Actress. But there were also more memorable moments than any viewer had a right to expect. The best:

10. Franco and Rogen turn the Reader into stoner comedy

"Their giggling and guffawing at The Reader is somehow more damning (and more exposing of the film's overweening pomposity) than a thousand bad reviews." —Guardian. (OK, sure, but Kate Winslet's little gold man begs to disagree about the Reader.)

9. Angelina Jolie grins big at Jennifer Aniston

You just had to cut to Jolie during Aniston's animation award presentation, didn't you, ABC? OK, so we secretly enjoyed the shot of the Brad Pitt-stealer's wide grin, but that's not the point.

8. Philippe Petit's statuette-balancing magic trick

The star of Best Documentary Man on the Wire was making a naked bid to become the stuntman for all future Academy Award ceremonies. We're all for it, as long as the Frenchman returns each year with his charming white scarf.

7. Host Hugh Jackman: "The Musical Is Back"

Is it? Because some of us felt like we were stuck on the lido deck of a cruise. Including Penelope Cruz, judging by her arched eyebrows at the close of the biggest number.

6. Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix

Oscar presenters don't normally go after their own. Stiller did. His deadpan, unmistakable imitation of Phoenix's notorious performance on David Letternan is as good a sign as any that Phoenix, who has declared himself retired from acting, is now being as much pushed out of the Hollywood community as leaving it.

5. Tina Fey and Steve Martin's Scientology dig

Or maybe they were talking about some other "made up" religion involving an alien king scattering seeds across the Earth to "fuel our positive transfers." But you don't have to be a Clear to know that's unlikely. (Though this is the best bit, Fey and Martin's overall routine was excellent. As was their rapport.)

4. Heath Ledger's family accepts his award

The late Dark Knight actor received a touching tribute from his father, mother and eager sister. But what happened to the mother of his child, Michelle Williams? She wasn't even mentioned.

3. Kate Winslet's whistle

The Englishwoman's Best Actress win was widely expected; her sweet call-and-response with her father was not.

2. Dustin Lance Black on gay rights: "God does love you."

The Mormon-raised Milk screenwriter once found inspiration and emotional sustenance in California. With his heartfelt message to "gay and lesbian kids," Black returned the favor.

1. Sean Penn: "You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns."

Accepting for Best Actor, Penn killed. The tightly-wound actor was charmingly self-deprecating. And his cutting comments on California's gay marriage ban, which came near the end of the Oscar telecast, provided the perfect bookend for Black's statements, near the start.

While Slumdog Millionaire (writer Simon Beaufoy won the WGA's Adapted Screenplay prize) and the usual acting suspects spent the weekend tightening their chokeholds on Academy voters, Black was the Guild's only dual-winner: First for the previously announced Paul Selvin Award honoring attention to social issues, and a few minutes later, in the West Coast awards' last hand-off of the night, the Best Original Screenplay trophy. He delivered the modestly tear-streaked acceptance speech he hopes to deliver Feb. 22, assuming he can fend off In Bruges's BAFTA award-winner (and fellow Focus Features stablemate) Martin McDonagh, Happy-Go-Lucky's Mike Leigh and ultimate underdog Courtney Hunt, whose own Big Issues movie Frozen River has a small but intensely devoted constituency in the writer's branch.

Meanwhile, Breaking Bad, 30 Rock and Recount were honored as well, thus putting a seasonal end to TV's cute but annoying imposition on the Slumdog juggernaut. We'll see them back on their own diluted awards home front this fall.

• 'Milk,' 'Slumdog' top WGA Awards [Variety]

Shot by Gus Van Sant for Vogue Hommes International (and dutifully scanned by MCN's David Poland), the pictorial plucks Black from Roland Emmerich's twink-filled compound and juxtaposes him with the photographs and memorabilia of the man whose life story he penned. We hope that the frequently shirtless screenwriter sees his gambit pay dividends; Jenny Lumet, now you know what you have to do next time.

• Gus van Sant Shoots Dustin Lance Black For Vogue Paris pour Hommes [Hot Blog]

· Have you ever seen Disney's 1940 Pinocchio on the big screen? Now you can. It's playing at the El Capitan until February 12.
· Nightmares on Wax (George Evelyn aka DJ EASE) plays the Echoplex.

Those would be Charlie Kaufman, who made his writer/director debut on the criminally underrated Synecdoche, New York, and Jenny Lumet, whose Rachel Getting Married press tour made her this year's most-publicized young screenwriter outside of Dustin Lance Black. Black was nommed for Milk, and Woody Allen and Robert Siegel got some fairly unimpeachable nods for their respective efforts, but the Coen brothers for Burn After Reading? Really? And don't make us talk to you about The Visitor again, lest we be forced to bash a djembe into our skulls.

The full nominations:

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Burn After Reading, Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Milk, Written by Dustin Lance Black
Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Written by Woody Allen
The Visitor, Written by Tom McCarthy
The Wrestler, Written by Robert Siegel

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Screenplay by Eric Roth; Screen Story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
The Dark Knight, Screenplay by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan; Story by Christopher Nolan & David S. Goyer
Doubt, Screenplay by John Patrick Shanley
Frost/Nixon, Screenplay by Peter Morgan
Slumdog Millionaire, Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

In the Facebook video above, a low-key Black mingles among a sea of boyishly betanktopped bling-lovers and other assorted Bryan Singer pizza toppings, at an event billed as "an amazing party at Roland's spectacular estate to celebrate Gay Pride Weekend." That can only mean one Roland—disaster shlockmeister extraordinaire Roland Emmerich—whose raging Hollywood twinkfests are the stuff of legend. Enjoy one vicariously, and free from worry that a Emmerichian tidal wave might ambush the festivities and wash all the skinny boys in aviator sunglasses away.

[Video courtesy of Josh Gray-Emmer]

• Previously: The User's Guide To 'Milk' Writer Dustin Lance Black [Defamer]

At the rally, we spotted Wanda Sykes (!), gaylebrities like Noah's Arc star Darryl Stephens, as well as the Defamer-investigated Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black (who, as a former Mormon, must have found the anti-LDS rhetoric a leeetle interesting). The crowd skewed decidedly young, and celebrities whose marriages might actually be nullified — like George Takei and Ellen DeGeneres — were nowhere to be found. Sad as we were to rally without Takei's basso profundo, at least the massive standstill traffic generated by the ensuing march trapped two more gay-appropriate celebs in the maelstrom.

Yup, that's Dancing with the Stars entrant Lance Bass, whose car was caught in the traffic as protesters marched down Sunset Blvd. He didn't get out to join the protest, and somehow, we think Cloris would've. Eventually, the crowd made its way to Hollywood and Highland, where cops made arrests and rebuffed any further progress. On the way back, however, one last gift was still to be unwrapped: a convertible bearing Tila Tequila, whose Stoli-infused reality show prostitution no doubt made the entire night possible. Good show, gays.

[Photo Credits: LAT, Towleroad, Indiewire]

• Police, demonstrators clash at prop. 8 protest [LAT]

• 
  Report from West Hollywood: November 5 Anti-Prop 8 Rally [Towleroad]

• No on Prop 8 Rally [Indiewire]

Variety announced today that the extremely photogenic and openly gay recovering Mormon would be writing Van Sant's next feature—an adaptation of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. Pack it up, Diablo. There's a new It Scribe in town.

We now run down for you Everything You Always Wanted to Know About DLB but Weren't Yet Aware of His Existence Enough To Ask:

I. HE LOOKS GREAT WITH HIS SHIRT OFF

This should probably have gone further down the list, but let's face it: If Dustin was a chubby, balding, 53-year-old founding member of ACT-UP, no one would care as much. So let's just get it out of the way. Dustin is categorically hot in a cornfed Mormon-ish kind of way, and makes an attractive addition to any pool terrace, TigerHeat dance floor, or gayish men's magazine pictorial.

II. MILK ISN'T HIS FIRST JOB, IT'S JUST HIS BIGGEST

Black has been a writer on Big Love since it debuted, adding Mormonthenticity to dialogue for characters like the polygamist-chic Chloe Sevigny (she's always so ahead of the curve) and the rest of the Henrickson wives. He also directed On the Bus—a 2001 documentary about a trip to Burning Man that features Black himself on the DVD cover. (Yes, shirtless.)

III. HAS HE EVER TRIED TO GET INSIDE THE MIND OF A SEXUALLY USED POOL BOY?

Yes! His first feature, The Journey of Jared Price, is about a hot poolboy who arrives from the Midwest and is employed by an intermittently blind dowager. The poolboy is used for his body, but emerges from his journey a stronger person.

IV. WHAT LED HIM TO WRITE HARVEY MILK'S LIFE STORY WILL BRING TEARS TO YOUR EYES

"The writer vividly recalls the day he visited the Gay and Lesbian Archives and discovered the blood-stained suit Milk was assassinated in: 'For me, it was like putting flesh on a father figure.' Born a closeted Mormon in San Antonio, Texas, Black – who grew up without a father – envisioned Milk as the encouraging paternal figure he never had. 'I was listening to one of his speeches right after he was elected to public office, and he says something like, ‘There’s a kid out there, maybe in San Antonio, who’s going to hear my story and hear that an openly gay man was elected to public office — and it’s going to give him hope.’ And I just lost it, because that’s exactly what it did for me.'" (From an Advocate magazine-only feature penned by our own Kyle Buchanan.)

V. SORRY LADIES. HE WON'T SWITCH TEAMS

"I had my first crushes on a boy neighbor when I was like six, seven. I knew what was going on. I knew I liked him."

VI. HE CITES PET SEMATARY AS A MAJOR INFLUENCE

Fom his MySpace profile: "Movies: MILK, Pet Cemetary, Boyz N tha Hood, Akeelah and the Bee, Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style, Original Gangstas, RoboCop 2, From Dusk Til Dawn, Sin City, Waiting to Exhale, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Seven Samurai, The Queen, Big Momma's House and of course the Nutty Professor 2: The Klumphs... not exactly."