Diners Are Too Expensive
Diners: not a fast food restaurant, but also not a “real” restaurant. Something in between. Seems like it should be in between the price of fast food and a real restaurant. But is it?
The Great Relish Mystery
Are we all slaves to Big Pickle?
5 Tasty Ways to Eat Snow
"5 Tasty Ways to Eat Snow." You looking for tasty ways to eat snow?
Why Don't We Eat Cranberry Sauce All Year?
It is almost Thanksgiving time. You know what that means: cranberry sauce on your plate! Soon, Thanksgiving will be over. Then there's no more cranberry sauce on your plate. What's the reason for this treason?
Gluten Is the Least of Your Problems, America
Americans, who—in general—are not scientists, or even very literate, are nevertheless convinced that they must eat "gluten-free" food in order to, uh, [something about health]. Spoiler: if you think this, you are probably wrong!
There's A Restaurant in D.C. Serving Bugs Today If You're Into That
As part of a PR stunt for Ehrlich Pest Control, 13 restaurants, including one in D.C., will become "pestaurants" and serve you dead bugs to eat. The goal, Ehrlich claims, is "to promote the health benefits of an insect rich diet already enjoyed by billions across the globe."
The Best Restaurant in New York Is LOX at The Jewish Museum
There are a bunch of restaurants in the world, including some in New York City. But in a city of over 24,000 restaurants, how do you find the best? You begin your search in places that are already popular: New York's hottest tourist destinations. In The Best Restaurant in New York Is, writers Caity Weaver and Rich…
The Restaurant Put the Fork and Knife There In Hopes You Might Use Them
Of course you should use silverware when you're eating dinner at a restaurant that has provided silverware, right there next to your non-paper plate. Nobody believes otherwise. But here's our important new populist debate about whether New York Mayor Bill de Blasio is too fancy because he used a fork and knife to eat…
Restaurants Are Full of Old People Now
Hey, entitled "millennials," with your "organic" this and "artisanal" that and "farm to table" marijuana: you're not the bosses any more. Old folks have taken over American restaurants. Thank the lord.
Average American's Day Now Just a Parade of Meat Products
Once upon a time, Americans sat together at tables thrice daily for "meals," during which nutritious food was consumed. Today, however, market research indicates that we prefer to simply have processed meat products shoveled into our mouths constantly throughout the day. By conveyor belt, if possible.
You Should Eat Horse
This horse meat scandal is sweeping Western Europe and quivering even the stiffest of upper lips in Britain. Some people are concerned that the horse meat in their microwaveable pasta dinners may be tainted with an equine anti-inflammatory called phenylbutazone, which in huge doses can cause health risks. But let's…
An Ode to the Humble Peanut, Which Sustaineth This Great Nation With Its Bounty
Good morning, America. Do you know why this is a special time to be an American? Because this is an amazing year for peanuts!
In the Future, Humans Will Be Able to Eat Eggs
For many, eggs' chief uses lie in the fields of weaponry, holiday decoration, and design inspiration.
Don't Tell Me About Your Diet
In order to better address the needs of our fitness-obsessed readers, we are introducing this semi-regular column, "I of the Tiger," to take on the vital hardcore fitness issues of our time. Today: eat to win, but keep it to yourself. Dig it.
A Simple Guide to Fake Meat
Americans are eating less meat—12% less than five years ago. That's good news. Not only for sweet Bessie The Cow, whose mama will not be killed (quite so soon) by a bolt gun shot to the skull, but also for you, the intrepid herbivoracious culinary explorer.
Eating Nonstop Crap All Day 'The New Normal'
In olden times, when Americans were forced to scavenge for food at "Supermarkets," people ate only three "meals" per day, that being the maximum number that the womenfolk could be goaded into preparing, no matter how much you beat them.
Grocery Store Produce Sections: Now Just For Looks
Think of "fruits" and "vegetables" like parsley. Parsley is a vegetable. And here in America, we use fruit and vegetables the same way that we use parsley: as window dressing, as a little green thing that makes the real food (Cheez) look better.
Curry Eating Competition Lands Two People in the Hospital
A restaurant in Edinburgh recently held a spicy curry eating competition that wound up being a "shambles," as several people got sick and two were hospitalized.
What Does Your Choice of Casual Dining Chain Say About You?
Interchangeable pseudofood joint Chili's—intent on "spicing up its brand"—is spending millions on a new ad campaign, one part of which is summed up thusly by the company's ad genius: "How he behaves is bold, how she behaves is bold, and the food we're featuring in the spot is boldly flavored."
