Snappy, dapper dresser but so short. Just my size at 5'3".

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello has the news that in an upcoming episode of the the show, Chuck makes out with a guy. He doesn't actually go gay (though his outfits always have been) but he does it to help Blair along with one of her little schemes. Looks like Chuck would do anything for love, including that. The lucky fellow is Neal Bledsoe (see him shirtless here) and he guest stars in the sixth episode. In our gay minds, actor Ed Westwick orchestrated this whole thing to make former roommate Chace Crawford jealous. Yeah, even our fantasy life sounds exactly like an episode of Gossip Girl

All were very enthusiastic and very sweet, dancing and singing along to Taylor's music. Yup - I pretty much passed out from beautiful people overload.

pic via Twitter

• Megan Fox has turned down a role as a Bond girl in the new Bond flick, presumably to play Lady Macbeth at the Old Vic or something. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Mischa Barton's publicists have been trying hard to use her recent breakdown to land her on the cover of a few of the celebrity weeklies, but no one took the bite. Flack life is hard yo. [Page Six]
  
  
• Amy Winehouse is on trial in the UK for beating up a dancer at a charity ball who asked for an autograph. The prosecutor in the case says that it's likely that Amy was under the influence of something when the incident went down, shockingly. [Mirror]
  
  
• T.R. Knight says that he left Grey's Anatomy because Shonda Rhimes was cutting down his character's screen time. [EW]
  
  
• Gossip Girl co-stars/boners Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick may be on the outs with each other. They were supposed to co-host some event at the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and he totally didn't show up because he was pissed at her. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ha! After ESPN lashed out at the Post for printing stills of the Erin Andrews nude peephole video, Page Six is attacking ESPN by saying that it's the network's fault that the video was made public in the first place. [Page Six]
  
  
• Whitney Houston gave serious consideration to giving up music three years ago to move to an island and open a little fruit stand. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Lily Allen has traded in her old man art dealer ex-boyfriend for a young, struggling artist. She is reported to be "completely smitten." [Sun]
  
  
• Rihanna is in London recording an album and Jay-Z swooped in to take her out for dinner and champagne and we can't help but wonder if there isn't something going on between these two. [Mirror]
  
  
• Simon Cowell is having a 50th birthday party soon, an event that 17 of his ex-girlfriends are set to make an appearance at. We're not sure if we should admire or pity him. [Mirror]

• The cougar to end all cougars is on the prowl again as Kim Cattrall is single after dumping her boyfriend of five years. She is a man-eater and we are oh so willing to be devoured! [EOnline]
  
  
• Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith want everyone to know that they do lots of boning. They get it on all over the place. They will bone in your bed if you don't keep an eye on them. So, just so you know, they are married and neither of them is gay and they nail each other all the time. [Page Six]
  
  
• Chace Crawford is finally moving out of Ed Westwick's pad and getting a place of his own down in the financial district. [Daily News]
  
  
• Megan Fox is looking for a new pad in the Los Angeles area in the 2 to 3 million dollar range. For now she continues to shack up with David Silver. [Daily News]
  
  
• The LAPD is investigating the death of Michael Jackson as a homicide and they are focusing their investigation on Dr. Ronald Murray. [TMZ]
  
  
• Guy Ritchie came back into the picture and Madonna kicked Latin boy toy Jesus Luz to the curb. Maybe he and Carlos Leon can get coffee together and talk sometime. [Daily News]
  
  
• Lance Bass, who went to space camp as a kid and attempted to become a Russian astronaut or something a few years back, is holding fast to his dream of traveling into outer space. [Daily News]
  
  
• Is Penelope Cruz pregnant with Javier Bardem's baby? Page Six seems to think so, all because of what they see as a bit of an obvious "baby bump." [Page Six]
  
  
• After spending much of the past decade living the crackhead lifestyle, Whitney Houston has cleaned up remarkably well. [Daily Mail]

• The UK Sun lays out their entire "Brad and Angelina are faking it" case in a long piece today. Included among the reasons why—-She wants even MORE kids, he does not. Brad likes the West Coast, Angelina likes the East Coast. And Brad has been in regular contact with Jennifer Aniston lately. And oh yeah, Angie's an intellectual and Brad's a dumbass. [Sun]
  
  
• Ed Westwick and Jessica Szhor partied it up together at the Gramercy Park Hotel last night [Just Jared]
  
  
• It looks as though there really is a Gossip Girl spinoff in the works at CW. [EOnline]
  
  
• Despite rumors on the internets that he's died 10 times since last Friday, Patrick Swayze is still alive and kicking and he and his wife took this photo to prove it. [Mirror]
  
  
• Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are getting back together AGAIN! [EOnline]
  
  
• Did Keith Urban follow the lead of his perpetually-Botoxed bride and get a round of injections himself? [LaineyGossip]
  
  
• Natalie Cole received a lifesaving kidney transplant this week but her sister died suddenly while she was in the hospital. [Page Six]
  
  
• Law & Order SVU star Mariska Hargitay said that the collapsed lung she recently suffered was the result of a stunt gone wrong. [Daily News]
  
  
• Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey is expecting her fourth child. [Dlisted]
  
  
• Robert DeNiro is a new grandfather to a seven pound baby girl. [Page Six]

This is the one time of the year when journalists and the like get to (at some point) mingle in dresses and suits with actual! Real-life! Celebrities! from who they're not having to pick up press lines from (hence the irritatingly apropos nickname and Twitter hashtag it's since managed to earn: nerdprom). While some are bound to get a little trigger happy with their autograph book/iPhone camera, Cox - who recently argued for the demolition of the White House Press Corps - took on celebu-headhunting with nothing short of absolute moxie (balls?).

Interview with the Wham!-pire. As twittered: Tom Cruise "admitted that he was eager to come to meet (Obama)." Bam's people'll get back at you with that, Tom. Dap?

From earlier in the day, Cox with Gossip Girl star Chase Crawford. He makes everyone look that good. Seriously.

The Gossip Girl tour of the WHCD continues. "Mission fucking accomplished," Cox reports.

OMB Director Peter Orszag is not Stephen Colbert, but still looks slightly emaciated by AMC's iPhone.

Cox with Obama economic adviser Austan Goolsbee, talkin dollah bills.

I'll just leave this one to her. Ana? "ZOMG ZOMG sigh swoon jon Hamm. #nerdprom totally makes me want to smoke." Us too.

"Secret Service agents NOT AMUSED," Cox tweets. Hard to see why. These guys could stuff the entire WHPCA into a single-serving box of Tide, and have probably thought about doing it, too.

"Come on honey, let's go to the party!"

"I'll meet you there. I need to put on my face."

"Here we go, ready for a night on the town!"

"Ohh... look at the pretty birds!"

"Hey man, I need to talk to you. Yeah, you can change outfits first."

"OK, what's up?" "Will you come with me to my gyno appointment?"

"Dammit Natalie. I specifically told you to give me notice ahead of time... But, OK. Lemme change my outfit again."

"All right, let's do this thing."

"He's late!!"

"He's late??!?! Let's kill him!"

"Or we can just hang out."

"I love you. Look at the moon."

"Oh, hey! Honey beav! Chuck just texted. He had to go to the gyno with Natalie." "That makes sense... Mmm. I wonder what he's thinking right now."

"Look. Birds."

Images via Splash

MisterHippity's new line beats the original, "I Love Meat."

She was up against the wall with her legs wrapped around this boy! Very plain looking — her hair was up, and she was wearing glasses. Oh yeah, and Chace Crawford was also there - beautiful in a flannel and jeans. His eyes are stunning.

Gossip Girl has trained our stalkers well. Thumbs were flying last night and we got a flurry of messages:

Spotted: Lil J at Kings of Leon show. Saw her at 921pm in the women's restroom on the 70-75 gate entry level. Her legs went on for days and she was taking way too long to tossle her stringy blonde hair. No sighting of Mr. Bass necking Vanessa... yet.

Spotted: Little J at the Kings of Leon concert last night. She has terrible posture & was wearing weird glasses - I'm pretty sure she thought they were a disguise. Hair was less mulletty than I thought itd be. Was hanging on some guy who didn't look young enough to be dating a 15 year old.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

And perhaps there was a mixup, because two of the young and pretties were spotted at a different location of the frat boy chain:

Spotted: Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr (aka Chuck and Vanessa) outside of Brother Jimmie's in Murray Hill. Although once they saw there was a line to get in, they left. Do they really have nowhere better to go on a Thursday night? Gossip Girl would not approve.

Clint Eastwood
Not sure he really needs replacing (or can be replaced at all), as he's sort of a singular cultural institution unto himself. But if we're in the mood for a gruff, crime fightin', six gun shootin', conservative with a puddly sentimental heart, then I think we need look no further than Keanu Reeves. Don't go crazy! Yes, I understand that there was a grumbly gravitas that Eastwood brought to his silly actioners that Keanu decidedly does not bring to his, but they're kind of the same. Both, frankly, can't act for beans but it doesn't matter! There's something criminally appealing about them. They're dazzling us with their flat line delivery while pickpocketing our souls! Plus, Keanu's 44 now (can you believe that??) so he'll soon be ambling into safely Grizzled territory. Then he can start directing pictures about weary men in the weary world who wearily do weary things, like kill their molested childhood best friends or kill their ladyboxer protege, just like Clint! Just think, in thirty years time "Whoa." will be the new "Make my day."

Joaquin Phoenix
Well, this is a little difficult because he wasn't really that much of a movie star to begin with. But the Oscar-nominated star of Gladiator and the Johnny Cash biopic Walk The Line was getting big. He's got that brooding strangeness, a willful devotion to his craft resembling an angry Johnny Depp. So who could fill these curious little worn-out shoes? How about similarly-faced Gossip Girl fop Ed "Chuckles Bass" Westwick? He plays in a band, just like Joaquin! And he's shown some prissy talent and a penchant for looking gloweringly stupid while offering terse, wannabe cryptic answers to inane interview questions. Whether he's got the weird talent that Phoenix has (had?) remains to be seem. But right now he's shaping up to be a fine candidate.

Nicole Kidman
OK, she's not "officially" retiring, but she did mention it off-handedly in an interview recently! An icy internationalist with a taste for the artsy out-there movies and the big commercial films? Kidman is sort of a dream come true for Hollywood (or, at least, she was until she had a long string of bombs—The Invasion anyone?—and her face became strangely plasticine). Does any young actress have her strange, sad alien grace, those same purring smarts? Harry Potter sidekick/burgeoning sex symbol Emma Watson might in a few years. As might a couple other young actresses. But really Sienna Miller seems best poised to take the mantle. She's not American either! And she became famous for dating a famous guy (Jude Law) before she became a famous actress (is she a famous actress yet?), just like Nicole did with a now-forgotten character actor named Tom Cruise. She's cold and probably talented and already inured to the tabloid frenzy.

Angelina Jolie
Luckily, gloriously be-lipped charitably minded multi-culti talented actresses just grow on trees. We kid, we kid! Angelina Jolies are pretty rare! There are like only two of them per billion people. Which means 11 others exist, and we must find them. Who else can shoot guns and throw knives convincingly one minute, then sob and moan and act a little nuts effectively the next? Maybe this young Kristen Stewart from Twinklight could do it. She seems weird and grumpy and above-it-all. Someone put an Uzi in her hand and she how she does. Though she doesn't have the natural beauty of Jolie. Oh fuck it. You know what? She said it would probably be thirty years before she retired anyway. The new Angelina Jolie is Angelina Jolie. She's only 33 after all. (Can you believe it?)

Really the problem is that the whole talent pool has become so diluted. We're not saying that there aren't talented, beautiful people anymore, just the opposite. There are way too many out there. Meg Ryan was in every romantic comedy for a few years. That was it. No one else. Now we've got Elizabeth Banks and Kate Hudson and Sandra Bullock (sort of?) and Anne Hathaway and etc. etc. Too many. We blame the internet. We're not sure why, but this is probably its fault.

Chace is cheerfully reeling off the indictments against him. "Model turned actor, dime a dozen, eye candy, doesn't know what he's doing ... and Perez Hilton says I have 'gayface.' So on top of everything else, I have to overcome gayface."

Somewhere, we hear America Ferrera rolling her eyes! We ask you, could a unicorn overcome its horn? Could a sun overcome its shine? Chace, kiddo, it's that "gayface" that got you where you are today. You don't disown it. You pull an American Eagle cap down over it, take it to Splash, and use it to rake in free appletinis until the bartender shouts "Last call!"

• OMFG! IT'S THE GOSSIP BOYS! [Details]

Drew Barrymore was at the Kings of Leon show last night at Webster Hall. She was with Ryan Gentles (manager of the Strokes, who looked strung out). She left with her arm wrapped around Ed Westwick....which makes sense, since she seems to go for guys about 15-20 years younger than her.

Chase Crawford was at the Kings of Leon show last night. He had a black hat pulled down pretty low. Outside the venue after the show, he was surrounded by girls as he smoked cigarettes with Ed Westwick. When Westwick went off with Drew Barrymore he stayed for a little bit.

From the Foggymonocle:

We caught Drew Barrymore slobbering all over the dude from Gossip Girl at last night's Kings of Leon after party at Bowery Electric. It was like a high school make out session.

From Us Weekly:

It is the second time in a week that Barrymore and Westwick locked lips, another source tells Us. They were spotted chatting this past weekend at a Saturday Night Live after-party, which The Kings of Leon also played. "Chemistry was there!" a witness tells Us of the two. They then headed to NYC's hip Fat Cat Billiards, where they stayed until 6 a.m., shooting pool with Gossip Girl cast members (including Crawford), actress Ellen Page and Emile Hirsch. "Drew was hanging all over Ed!" a witness tells Us, denying more reports that she had also smooched Crawford. "They were full-on making out!" Adds the witness, "They were definitely all over each other. It was on!"

If you are curious about even more Gossip Girl stalker sightings, there is a special map right here.

[Photo by Justin Bishop, via Vanity Fair]