Has your child had trouble at school? Have you tried tutoring, extra homework time, and everything else you can think of, with little improvement? Relax. According to the latest research, your kid's fate is already sealed.

Every once in a while you run into one of these fresh-mouthed young high school graduates declaring they're going to "change the world" with their "apps" and their "new paradigm" and their "great idea for an electronic dance beat." News flash, kiddos: you're mediocre at best, just like your old man.

So then, it's a new academic program straight outta Duke University: "Write(H)ers," which will, according to the Duke Chronicle, "create a community of feminist-oriented writers," by, you know, teaching women how to blog. Specifically—direct quote—"The 23 members of the program will participate in personal blogging."…

A Montreal-based website is offering college students the chance to have their essay penned by a real-life unemployed college professor in exchange for cash.

A report released today by the nonprofit behind the standardized test used in American high schools to assess college readiness finds that just one out of four students graduating in 2012 were truly prepared for college.

In our crazy mixed-up classist system in which poor kids can't even afford homework while rich kids spend endlessly on fancy tutors and private schools only to end up dumb, isn't it time we just gave up?

Sure, bleeding heart PC types killed a bill earlier this year that would have allowed guns on college campuses in Texas. Consolation prize: Texas is "close to enacting" a new bill that will give school teachers detailed criminal histories of all their students. Because you never know when the next six-year-old will…

Law school is a huge ripoff—a catch-all haven for slackers and the existentially aimless, where you'll go into a huge amount of debt in order to surround yourself with beer pong-players and cute little dogs, and emerge unemployable, with nothing to do with your worthless new skills except sue to try to get your law…

Do you care about children, the education of children, or the future of children, and our system for educating them? Then we have bad news for you. Lots of bad news.

At McCaskey East High School in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, junior class students break into groups each day to meet with mentors for an "enriching" experience. The twist: all the groups are totally segregated by race and gender! Apparently some people object?

To succeed in America, you must get a college degree. To get a college degree, you must go into a soul-crushing amount of debt. And what do you get for all that money? Not learning. College kids don't learn stuff.

The meaning of grades, explained! Hurdles, hurdled! Teachers, sexxxily harassed! Science fairs, endangered! Manga, fake classes held! Science, professionalized! Books, criticized! Data, supersized and atomized! It's your Monday Education Watch, where we watch education—because it's a free country!

The results are in: on a respected international standardized test, students in Shanghai beat the tar out of everyone in science, reading and math. The U.S. finished 23rd, 17th, and 32nd, respectively. Yea, well...Yao Ming is slow. [NYT]

Good news, educators: the book-banners are more organized than ever! Instead of lone nuts calling for books to be banned, now it's national groups of nuts, like the Parents Against Bad Books in Schools. And what makes a book "bad?"

Moderately good news, unemployed college graduates! A new report on hiring trends says that hiring of graduates with bachelor's degrees or MBAs will surge by 10% next year. Green shoots! As long as you didn't go to law school.