A young Texas cop is being investigated after using a stun gun on a 76-year-old driver with expired tags in an incident caught on the police cruiser's dash cam.

Old people do not stink, scientists found today. A large-scale study of people who wore things in their armpits and then had other people smell those things concluded that "the underarm odor of 75-to-95-year-olds was judged to be less intense and far more pleasant than the scent of either young or middle-aged adults."

What should have been just another sleepy Canadian Football League alumni luncheon in Vancouver on Friday turned unexpectedly violent, when Joe Kapp, 73, former quarterback for the B.C. Lions, got into a fight with his longtime rival, 74-year-old Angelo Mosca, former defensive tackle for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.

Shit ton isn't a scientific measure, but it can be used to describe the 104 bricks of coke that Leo Sharp, an 87-year-old Indiana resident, was busted with in Michigan. This is like a real life Breaking Bad.

Every day brings new, difficult choices to make. Should we go to Andover and learn how to rap, or enroll at Ohio University and major in fun? Should we switch to a cheaper beer? And should we trade our parrot for a computer and some cash, or keep the parrot and buy a computer instead?

An 85-year-old woman walking near her home on the Upper East Side of Manhattan was dragged by her neck and forced to perform oral sex on her attacker in a stairwell on 83rd St. She's in stable condition at a nearby hospital, but her attacker is still at large; police spent Monday driving vans "equipped with…

Yesterday on the Politico website, Andrew Glass posed a query about Washington Post columnist David Broder, who is known as "the dean of the Washington press corps" because his early columns about how he could see good arguments on both the Loyalist and Whig sides during the revolution set the template for evenhanded…

David Broder—known as "the dean of the Washington press corps" because he taught a young H.L. Mencken how to read—offers his thoughts on the Imus affair and the Duke lacrosse incident today. Broder's columns usually read like a parody of, well, Broder columns, but this morning's missive is almost a parody of a parody…

"In December 1996, inspired in part by [Tony] Randall's well-publicized late fatherhood (his wife was 26 at the time), I wrote an article for The New York Times about men having children at a stage in life when their peers were usually contemplating a move to Florida or their next cardiogram. One proud papa dubbed…

Lewis Lapham, the former Harper's editor whose name we are seemingly unable to type without attaching the descriptor "soporific," gets a profile in today's Sun pegged to the forthcoming release of Lapham's Quarterly, a publication which should have the billion-dollar sleep-aid industry soiling its collected trousers. …

Number two? Dying.

All right, we promise this will be the last installment of our recent obsession with vintage advertising. Still, this one (our subtle favorite from a larger gallery) is worth a look both for its pharmaceutical shilling and its ends-based directive concerning the inconveniently elderly. The ad predates…

Women's Wear Daily reports that Jann Wenner's decision to replace Michael Caruso at the helm of Men's Journal hasn't worked out as well as, um, pretty much only Jann, expected. "[N]ewsstand sales for the magazine have gotten increasingly worse since Wenner took over as editor in chief last November," says WWD. Why…

We've called Liz Smith a few unpleasant names over the last few years: "doughy," "antediluvian," "senile," "past her prime," "washed up," "an escapee from the nursing home," "ready for her Aricept," that sort of thing. Still, we bear her no general ill will and today, in fact, find ourselves in some sort of sympathy…

Post gossip dowager Cindy Adams emerges from her mausoleum this morning to -