Below is a brief but shockingly accurate dramatic reenactment of what you will see in the video above, from last night's campaign coverage:

"Three reasons Obama will win; three reasons Romney will win"—Los Angeles Times headline, which accurately describes the story below, which is simply a list of "three reasons each candidate has to expect victory." (Which of these reasons are correct is not discussed.) What else is in the paper today?

Democrats will be delighted to read a guest op-ed in today's New York Times from retiring Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, lecturing his fellow Democrats about why they must become a right-wing party. What a troll, huh?

Google may have sent as many as 700,000 people to the wrong polling places on Tuesday thanks to a bunch of errors in their "Election Center" apps, which are supposed to tell people where they can vote. Whoops!

The reign of Barack Obama ends tonight! What? Oh, it's just Congress and governors and stuff. Let's keep liveblogging. Republicans have already won the House, but can they take the Senate? An unemployed nation waits.

[Chicago voters arrive at an unconventional polling station located in a laundromat today. No word on if they elected darks or whites. Image via AP]

The Democratic National Committee's election day talking points have leaked, and they argue that they... well... they tried! And things always could have been worse. Assuming they go badly in the first place, which they won't! Full memo below.

The Pew Center has released its tally of the most nationally covered candidates this election season, and guess who's No. 1? Some gal from Delaware who has magical powers. Maybe she used these powers to top this list?

Minnesota Majority, one of the groups behind the anti-voter fraud initiative called "Election Integrity Watch," told supporters in an e-mail last night to go ahead and wear their "Please I.D. Me" buttons and Tea Party apparel to the polls today.

Citizens: It is your democratic duty to vote. (Unless, you know, you've got something else to do.) But after you've voted, share your polling station horror stories/photos in the comments here! Make your voice heard, America. With blog comments.

New York City's primary election is today! As in, right now! And for most offices in this town, this is the de facto general election. Polls close at 9pm, so you even have time to hit happy hour beforehand.

Oh my God, shut up, Tim Robbins! There are few people more insufferable than rich, self-righteous Hollywood liberals. Remember how he thought his name was taken off the voting rolls on November 4 and threw a fit that drew the cops—when the real problem, explained the New York Times very patiently, was that he had …

You may recall that Tim Robbins "flipped out" at poll workers on election day, accusing them of abridging his "freedom to vote" by offering him a provisional ballot and then politely asking him to please leave the voting area since his name was not on their list. The actor had been voting at the polling place for 15…

We were so close to making it through a whole day believing that the pure joy of Obama's win had redeemed hipsters. That spontaneous post-election street celebration amongst Williamsburg's creative-class was both bad-ass and beautiful. Until the cops inevitably showed up. After all, the streets were completely blocked…

Gavin McInnes, Williamsburg resident, co-founded the ur-hipster mag Vice and now blogs at Street Carnage. A recently-anointed U.S. citizen by way of Canada, he personifies the lackadaisical "who cares" voting attitude that we attribute to young hepcats—although the non-ironic celebrations in Williamsburg last night…

Every four years, for 200 years or so, American sat down to watch Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, or Tom Brokaw announce who the next president will be. Those anchors did it with authority, and the networks took their solemn duties seriously. Even when things went wrong, as in 2000, we could rely on those anchors to…

The election was called early last night—but not so early that people weren't drunk off their asses, social-networking technology in hand. Many embarrassing and over-earnest prounouncements were Twittered and texted last night. Crying seemed to be a badge of pride for the melodramatic (don't want to see one more blog…