When you re-register to vote with a different address than the one you previously used to register, you often find that you have been assigned a new polling place. Ninety-eight percent of Americans have figured this out, and have also figured out how to determine their proper polling location.

While we give you credit for getting the state and city correct, we must give you demerits for misidentifying your polling place and all of your behavior following that mistake.

And while we're at it, who said that making a few movies and being a good actor means that anyone gives jack shit about your political opinions? Oh yeah, that would be you who said that. We have to assign additional demerits.

Please keep on harrassing the Board of Elections. It is our sincere hope that you will escalate to the point of committing a felony, and then we will not have to hear of your voting woes as you will, at least temporarily, lose the right to vote.

America

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November 17, 2008

Dear Mr. Henry:

I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante at your 14th St and 3rd Ave Duane Reade location on Sunday afternoon. I was under the naive assumption that I could purchase Tom's of Maine Whole Care Toothpaste, where I've purchased it two times before. Your thoughtful Sunday flyer said that I could purchase two tubes for $4.59 at any participating location. Considering your position at the Duane Reade and your deep respect for the economic process I must assume that my local 14th St. location's cashier, Tanya's assertion that they did not have Tom's of Maine Whole Care Toothpaste and only had Tom's of Maine Whole Care Toothpaste Gel was erroneous and that she must be as confused and wrongheaded as I am. If Tanya had bothered to leave her register and check the back we could confirm that your flyer is lying. Certainly you wouldn't lie about a thing like that. That is unbecoming of a man of your bureaucratic stature. And why would anyone at Duane Reade falsely advertise toothpaste in the Sunday November, 16, 2008 flyer ? That's just crazy and un-democratic.

Tim Robbins

New Yorker since 1961

Voter since 1976

Tom's of Maine Whole Care Toothpaste User since 2002

P.S. If anyone reading this letter had a similar experience at Duane Reade it can and should be reported at duanereade.com/mailform.htm

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(I had to break out a T I A for this one).

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"Dear makers of Fixodent,

Despite your product's claim of unbeatable adhesiveness, it apparently won't stay put. I've spent many an hour looking for that slippery tube, just to realize that it somehow fastened itself behind the toilet tank. I would think that you, of all people, would realize that an adhesive should stick where it should be stuck and not stuck where it has no reason to stick...."

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