Fox announced today that is snuffing out the brief candle of Dollhouse, Whedon's latest series starring Eliza Dushku as a secret agent whose memory is deleted after each of her missions.

The launch of a new Whedon show is treated in nerddom with the pomp and ceremony of a royal wedding and the build-up to Dollhouse's launch seemed a year long extravaganza of set visits, plot leaks and junketeering. But when Dollhouse finally reached the airwaves, it met very mixed reviews and stumbled to find an audience. Grudgingly, Fox brought it back for a second season, but put it on in a doomed Friday night slot.

The life of a Whedon show is only really a throat-clearing prelude to its afterlife in which the failed show is converted into a modern classic. Whedon's last show, for instance, Firefly was on the air for a mere 14 episodes from 2002 - 2003, but that was enough to fuel a big screen adaptation and eternal worship as the platonic ideal in swashbuckling sci-fi dramas.

But first must come the backlash and out there across the internet can be heard the sound a million geeks posting calls to the barricades to protest Fox's treachery, proving to them once again that commerce is the enemy of art and that something as special as Dollhouse is too good to live in such an imperfect world.

And for Eliza Dushku, now that the burden of actually filming is behind her, she can move on to the far more satisfying journey of spending the rest of her decades on the planet touring hotel convention facilities and taking the podium to answer questions about the exact meaning of that look she shot her co-star in episode seven.

• Page Six reports that Chace Crawford was running around in the Hamptons last weekend with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Esti Ginzburg, who just couldn't stop sending him text messages all over the place. [Page Six]
  
  
• International fame seems to be getting to Susan Boyle, who went bonkers on two strangers in the lobby of a London hotel. Cops intervened, and a hysterically crying Boyle went off on them as well. [Sun]
  
  
• Kate Gosselin's brother and sister-in-law, seeking to be the "voice of our nieces and nephews," claim that she and Jon are exploiting their children for money, fame and ratings. Well DUH! [New York Post]
  
  
• Rihanna will steam up the screen in a new Kanye West video, wearing nothing but sexy lingerie that barely covers up her ample lady parts. Chris Brown will not be pleased. [Sun]
  
  
• Speaking of Chris Brown, he posted a video to YouTube saying "I ain't a monster" and that everyone is just telling lies and all those bruises on Rihanna's face were just the result of her slipping in the shower or something. [Daily News]
  
  
• Anna Wintour knows that Conde Nast is going to crap so she's been stepping out all over the place in the secret hope that Barack Obama will name her ambassador to Britain. [Page Six]
  
  
• Jessica Simpson is set to star in a new reality series where she travels the world in search of the real meaning of beauty. No, we're totally serious about this. [US Weekly]
  
  
• Here's one we didn't see coming...Eliza Dushku is apparently dating Rick Fox, Vanessa Williams' ex-husband. [Just Jared]
  
  
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar says that there will be a Saved By The Bell reunion on Jimmy Fallon's show in June. [Starpulse]
  
  
• Lance Bass spent Memorial Day weekend partying down at The Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. On a related note, we are so saddened that there's even a Chelsea Hotel in Atlantic City. [Guest of Guest]

Fox originally released some NSFW-ish promo pics of Dushku this past month, but brand-new pictures that have leaked definitely put the Maxim in "This exiled-to-Friday show may only be able to hit a 1.5 rating, maximum." Perhaps some nude Nathan Fillion photoshoots could have saved Whedon's last Friday sci-fi offering, Firefly; too bad we'll never now know.

• Eliza Dushku - Dollhouse Promos x29LQ [Superior Pics]

— Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse" is going to air on low-rated Fridays. The series was originally scheduled to air with "24" on Mondays. Instead, "House" will open the night, followed by "24."

— "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" is also moving to Friday and will serve as lead-in to "Dollhouse."

Ruh-roh! As if to drive the bad news home, Fox has set Dollhouse's premiere date for Friday the 13th of February. Whedon's Firefly famously tanked when Fox scheduled it on Fridays, so perhaps those "Save Dollhouse" campaigns that sprung up when the series was first announced weren't so premature after all. Nerds, commence your letter writing campaigns; Fox, we hope you're prepared to be besieged with truckloads of desperate, Dollhouse-saving Bratz dolls.

• Fox announces midseason schedule shocker: 'Dollhouse' and 'Terminator' on Fridays [THR]

The hardest job in the world next to blogging – and nearly as well-thought of – is following celebrities around with a camera and snapping their every move.

But filing a lawsuit and dragging this guy through a lengthy legal process doesn't sound like much of a solution. We recommend Sienna take up the following prescription from our favorite fanfiction site, AdultFanfiction.Net. The following encounter by user 'Achtung Baby' suggests one possible solution to the pap problem, and features a fictionalized, gun-wielding version in a woodland setting of Eliza Dushku:

The gun fired with a loud pop and an orange dart shot out directly into the deer's jugular vein. The deer collapsed unconscious. Eliza walked up to it and checked its pulse, then nodded. She whistled, and all three of her male companions stood up and came out of the blind. They moved forward and surrounded the deer. Clarke was holding a roll of duct tape and Nate a large plastic garbage bag. Eliza drew a curved knife from her belt and slit the animal's throat, finishing it off with one clean cut. Damn, Gary thought as he watched Clarke and Brad start to push together and tape up its legs. This is great!

Eliza was stepping back now, putting away her weapon while the men turned over and bagged the dead buck. Gary took a shot of the dead animal, then another of Eliza and her knife. He then moved to the side, hoping for a better angle for his next frame.

SNAP.

Gary cursed as he stepped on a loud twig. Instantly Eliza's gun came out, up, and fired. The dart hit Gary right in the chest before he could react. He let out a yell of pain and fell, barely keeping hold of his camera as he tumbled out of the bushes and halfway down the hill. "Shit!" Nate shouted, dropping the freshly bagged deer.

"Oh my God," gasped Brad. "Eliza, what did you-?"

"It's okay!" his girlfriend snapped, lowering her pistol. "He was watching us in the parking lot earlier. I think I've seen him before. He's a paparazzo."

Remind me not to follow around — or blog about — Eliza Dushku, OK?

"DollhouseForums' trailblazing leader Nathan posted the following as a call to arms: "After seeing some of my favorite television shows get canceled in the past — as well as the 'save this show' campaigns that followed — I had the idea that a fan campaign BEFORE the show begins may be the best thing to do.'

"A Facebook fan page dedicated to the online campaign already has nearly 1,500 members.

"Some worry the efforts are overkill and will become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. At fan site Whedonesque, several commenters suggest that such pre-emptive campaigning will negatively affect the show.'There is a fine line to walk so that this won't be another obnoxious Whedon fan campaign that will piss people off and make them talk negatively about the show in advance. Please be careful,' writes TamaraC." [Wired via BoingBoing]

If I may... Um, Joss? Less leather pants on Eliza, more skirts this time around. Thank you.

Anyway, myriad couplings follow, though the accompanying teaser is a bit vague in the how-and-who. However, Longworth also points out the entire film is available free on YouTube, both promising a waste of at least 40 minutes of our afternoon and officially confirming we made the right call in staying home this week. Happy viewing (we hope)!

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