Lesson 1: Layoffs provide innovation, somehow. Message to clients:

Lesson 2: Keep this all quiet! From the FAQs:

Lesson 3: No, really. Keep this all quiet:

One note from Mr. Hollander reflected on the company's PR plans around the layoffs. He wrote, "This is a tough one. Since we're not opting to get out in front of the press, we will be left to defend. I think we may need to prepare for different contingencies depending on how they may hit us — because they will hit us. RISK assessment."

It's too much. Read it all at Ad Age.

We do feel sorry for whoever sent that email. ("Chief People Officer Rose Zory.")

Nightlife and Bungalow 8 queen Amy Sacco, Andrew Kennedy, Ronson mom Ann Dexter-Jones, former Dalton teacher and Schooled author Anisha Lakhani, professional gossip Ben Widdicombe, Bronson Van Wyck (the expressway was named after his family), Caroline Rowley, Charles Rockefeller, Charlotte Ronson, Danielle Vreeland, NYLON magazine's Dani Stahl, David Gruning, socialblogger David Patrick Columbia, Social Life magazine's Devorah Rose, New York magazine's Emily Nussbaum, socialite Fabiola Beracasa, someone named "Hannah Chadwick Tippy Tart," Mens Vogue's dandy Hud Morgan, soccer player Aaron Chandler, clothing designer Izzy Gold, Lauren Bush, Misshape's Leigh Lezark, model-actress Natasha Henstridge, rock-and-roll photographer Mick Rock, attorney Petra Von Ziegesar, society photographer Patrick McMullan, a bunch of Soho House people, and socialite Olivia Palermo (she once told Page Six magazine she wants to be a "brand" when she grows up.)

God, I need a drink.

Update! From charity:water:

"Emma has now raised more than $8,000 for water wells in Africa. She's helped more than 1,000 people get clean and safe drinking water and has been a tireless supporter of the cause. It just kills us to see her crucified because we gave her bad information. We take full responsibility for the mistake, she used our online Spread the Word widget and was given incorrect information by a volunteer that it would NOT reveal her friend’s addresses (she asked). It is entirely our fault. we feel awful and apologize sincerely to all her contacts."

The young man was a Tucker fan, and quit a real job to go be a paid assistant on the set of Tucker's film, where we pick up his experiences:

I quit my stable job at a publishing house and moved out there. He said I could stay at his house, but when I arrived he made me sleep in the backyard the first night. Tucker had other assistants but I detected animosity right from the start. One guy continually tried to commit assault on me. I figured because of my lesser stature it was all part of the "breaking in" process. Well, 5 days into production, I'm being threatened with crossbows and berated at every turn. Tucker has me doing ridiculous tasks like getting him water at a perfect temperature. The first few times he'd say it was 10 degrees too hot. I knew he was joking, but I'd take it back and add some of the cold water (which I realize is poposterous, but if you'd seen this guy he'd sic on me with choke holds or really hard arm punches, you'd understand). Finally on day 8, I bring him a paper cup filled with water; he takes a sip and throws it right in my face. I practically fell over a chair. This was in front of Jesse Bradford who even cautioned Tucker that it was a little too far. Tucker told Jesse to shut up, and then Nils (the "other" Tucker) intervened.

After two weeks of constant abuse, including Tucker letting me use the bathroom in his house, which had his shit in the toilet that he didn't flush. I quit on the spot. Nils first tried to comfort me by saying that Tucker is a jerk, and that it wasn't worth quitting over. I said I understood until HE confides that it was him that left the gigantic log in the toilet for me.

I understand that guys like to laugh and joke and get along. I do the same thing with my friends. On the IHTSBIH set, however, it was a very different story. These people weren't funny. They were "fratastic" in that douchebag sense. On my last day on set I talked to Matt Czuchry, who I got to know rather well. He told me that the Hollywood business was cut throat, and that he'd had his share of lumps. He said everyday he was losing respect for Tucker and that he worried this role my be career ending because the character doesn't have any redeeming qualities. Actually, he said the character Tucker as it was written might appear to, but after studying Tucker himself, he realized the guy was a fucking prick.

You'll notice there are no party picks of Tucker and the actors after the first week or so. This is not a coincidence. I've never been so incensed with an individual. Perhaps I was asking for it, chasing a pipe dream with no regard, but nobody should have to deal with what I did. I haven't even scratched the surface...

I'm done with the fucking asshole for good. I've found a new job, similar to what I'm doing before, but I don't' think I'll ever forget the sheer humiliation I faced.

After quitting, the assistant sent Tucker a pretty polite email asking for his check, and wondering if Tucker would be putting up any photos of him in the film's Flickr page. The response:

From: Tucker Max
Date: Mon, Aug 11, 2008 at 10:19 PM
To: [Former assistant]

It's not MY fault you couldn't hack it. Don't come crawling back AND don't waste my time with bullshit promises if you wont back them up. You know something about photos? The person who takes them — or the person who employs the person who takes them — owns the copyright. I OWN THEM. You want them? Pay me.

You want your money? Jeff has it. Get it from him. I warn you, he's been in an extra bad mood lately.—

"...highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible..."
-NY Times describing TuckerMax.com

He asked for his check to be mailed to him, and said that he just wanted the photos to show his friends. Tucker wasn't fooled:

From: Tucker Max
Date: Thurs, Aug 14, 2008 at 5:20 PM
To: [Former assistant]

You want the photos so you can cry to Gawker. I didn't get where I am today by being a moron. You'll get your photos like everybody else – when the movie is done shooting.

Jeff will be passing through your area after we wrap. He'll hand deliver the money. We'll bring a camera along for the DVD extras. Now stop fucking bothering me.—

"...highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible..."
-NY Times describing TuckerMax.com

[DISCLAIMER: My personal belief is this story is authentic, though as some commenters have pointed out, it could be some ruse by Tucker fans to plant a fake story. Though, counterpoint: the story makes Tucker sound bad, not good, so if it were a plant (and we've seen some bad attempts), it would be a stupid one. Verdict: Real in my considered judgment, but if not, I hope Tucker writes a triumphant note soon so that we can mock it.]

Excuse me? Did you write the email below, or am I seeing things? Is this a joke?

Have you let the very small amount of fame—that I am almost entirely
responsible for—really go that much to your fucking head that you
think you can talk to me that way?

If you don't like our arrangement, if you don't like that fact that I
found you as a complete nobody doing nothing and have given you the
opportunity to reach the world, then you can go back to where you were
when I found you.

In fact, thats a good idea. You go ahead and go your own way. Let's
see how you do when you don't have anyone to blame but yourself.

Tucker's advice to Woods on how to make more money? An "offer to 'let' me drop out of college and become a prison guard so I could make another $100 writing for a different Rudius site."

Experts have discovered that Americans no longer go to work to perform actual work; they simply go to work to send and receive email about what would happen if they theoretically were to do some work. When they're not doing this, they're mentally recovering:

According to a report to be published in October by the New York-based research firm Basex, interruptions such as spam, other unnecessary e-mail and instant-messages take up 28% of the average knowledge worker's day.

On top of that is what Basex chief analyst Jonathan Spira refers to as recovery time — the time to get back to where you were before you were interrupted, which Spira says is 10 to 20 times the duration of the interruption. These interruptions account for up to 2.1 hours per worker per day. Multiply that by 56 million knowledge workers in the U.S., he calculates, and the cost is $650 billion per year.

By my calculations, that means that after you spend your 2.1 hours per day using email, you spend—on average—another 31.5 hours per day recovering from these hectic interruptions. Email is therefore responsible for a full 33.6 hours per day of your time.

It's certainly getting to be a problem.

[LAT]

I've become accustomed to Gawker's racism [really? -ed] — from articles tagging black rappers with "HNIC" [that's the name of Prodigy's album! From an item about Prodigy! -ed] to videos of kids playing and adults having conversations with each other in Chicago accompanied by the headlines "Gun Warfare!" and "Drug Dealing." [Well, those were maybe a bit more questionable. We're charitable today! -ed] Sadly, I continue to return for the occasionally funny, entertaining and/or informative posts (which are becoming fewer and farther between).

We're so sorry for your inability to stop reading our site.

However, your coverage of the New Yorker Obama cover has been nothing short of appalling. The bloggers who put up the posts killed themselves trying to argue that no matter how offensive the images, artistic and editorial freedom justified any offense to the public or to the Obamas themselves. They even went so far as to add a third post lamenting the imprisonment of a Dutch cartoonist for posting sickening and degrading images of Muslims that lacked any political value and served no purpose other than to nauseate the viewer. When your bloggers are bending over backwards to defend someone whose images clearly demonstrate that he barely sees Muslim people as human, it is clear that Gawker has missed the entire point of the outrage over the Obama cover. This isn't about the New Yorker's right to print anything or the cartoonist's right to draw anything. It's about whether the New Yorker cover adds anything meaningful to the ongoing conversation about the Presidential candidates. It doesn't.

Let's call the images what they are: cookie cutter racist stereotypes pasted together onto a page. In the endless round of commentary, the Gawker bloggers and commenters debated back and forth on whether the images should be withheld simply out of fear that they would be misinterpreted by "dumb" red-state Americans who don't subscribe to the New Yorker. Aside from a single commenter (American Dreamer) not a singe individual recognized that the images themselves — a caricature of black and muslim people as armed, be-afroed and anti-American — are offensive and insulting. Whether intentionally or not, the cartoon mocks blacks and muslims just as much as it does right-wingers. Why not face the fact that the cover is not cutting edge or avant-garde, but actually reproduces the same old, tired stereotypes that have been around for decades? Taking a racist image and putting it on liberal magazine does not suddenly make it not racist. It's sad that Gawker isn't willing to acknowledge that fact in any way. It's even more sad that only one person in the Gawker "community" is aware enough to see this.

The absurdity of this is demonstrated by how different the blog posts and comments are on Gawker, as compared with Racialicious, Daily Kos, Jezebel and the Huffington Post, among others. Take a look and quit your snarky self-congratulatory statements about editorial freedom. When you've sunk so low that you have to justify your position by defending an image of Jesus sodomizing Mohammed, it's just embarassing. That is all.

This is the kind of condescending bullshit that does actually encourage us to agree with the idiots who think the covers are a problem because everyone else in America won't get them. The rightness of our position—that if people refuse to understand obvious satire because they don't trust anyone else to understand obvious satire then we might as well all pack it up and go home because there's no intelligent way to contribute to the National Conversation anymore, at all—is demonstrated by how different the blog posts and comments are on Gawker, as compared with Racialicious, Daily Kos, Jezebel and the Huffington Post, among others. No offense to those sites (well, no offense to Racialicious and Jezebel), but yes, we have a different position, which is that there is somewhere out there still a nation of adults. Adults who understand how irony, absurdity, and, yes, context work.

The entire point is that while we don't find anything edifying or amusing about an image of Jesus sodomizing Mohammed (except inasmuch as an image of Jesus sodomizing anyone is inherently hilarious), we shouldn't be throwing crackpots who draw such an image in jail. And furthermore anyone who'd equate said cartoon (provocation with no point other than provocation) with the New Yorker's cover (provocation in the name of getting you to think about your response to the image) in a blanket condemnation of both is dense and dangerous.

If the image is offensive, it's because the smears and whispers the image illustrates are offensive, and that is the point of illustrating all of them at one—both to call attention to these "dark imaginings," in Remnick's nice little phrase, and, by exaggerating them, to defang them, slightly. And the commentariat's outright refusal to get it is disingenuous and utterly unsurprising.

But in the interests of mending fences or building bridges or whatever, we've commissioned this totally inoffensive and not at all racist photoshop of Barack Obama, in a library, wearing a Harvard shirt, that we will use from now on. We wanted him maybe playing polo, waving a French flag (Happy Bastille Day!), and drinking a latte with his pinkie extended, but this will have to do, for now.

Photoshop Credit: Steven Dressler

The original correspondence:

Replied-to-all Alex Witchel, the article's author:


Uh oh! replies Times Research Editor Anaheed Alani, "I think this know-it-all might be right"!

In August 2002, Quon and another officer exceeded a department limit of 25,000 characters per month for texting. The police chief ordered a subordinate to obtain transcripts of the officers' text messages to determine whether the pagers were being used purely for work purposes.

The provider, Arch Wireless, sent the department transcripts of the messages. The city determined that many of Quon's messages were personal, and several were sexually explicit.

The court found that Arch Wireless violated the federal Stored Communications Act, which prohibits providers from divulging the contents of any communication that is maintained on the service without a warrant.

So check to make sure your work uses and outside email contractor; then, spend all day texting dirty things to your girlfriend and sending us spiteful leaks via email. America! Freedom!

[LAT]

Robert Cox, President of the M.B.A., we admire your response—it's very bloggy!—but Ryan put that story up at 12 a.m.! Did you really want a call in the middle of the night asking you to confirm whether or not your organization was opaque and your legitimacy self-defined?

Cox's pissy blog post is totally great, actually, from calling Ryan "some kid" to calling us all lazy. (Once again, blogging—if it's not stolen and reposted from the AP, we don't pay attention!) "I am sure," Cox writes, "this is not nearly as exciting as covering the latest sex scandal in Washington [...? –ed] so that a Gawker blogger would be unaware of our efforts is hardly a surprise."

Sorry Robert! We're too busy covering that famous Washington sex scandal everyone is talking about to call people before we make fun of them. We hope those negotiations with the Associated Press go well, and we look forward to flat-out ignoring whatever rules you guys come up with.

Businesses are also increasingly concerned about the risks posed by blogging, social networking sites, and instant messaging. Approximately 21 percent of the companies surveyed have investigated leaks that occurred through blogs and message boards, and 12 percent investigated leaks that occurred through social networking sites. Other emerging leak vectors include peer-to-peer file-sharing services and multimedia sharing sites like YouTube.

Corporate leakers: remember that everything you do on your work computer is subject to spying. But none of this should be construed as discouragement from leaking to us. Use your personal email account, or your home computer, or even your phone! There is no "NEUWS" without "U."

[ars technica via Jossip; image via Current]

Distressed borrower Daniel Bailey sent this letter to Countrywide execs:

And got back this reply:

[Loansafe via LAT]

Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:55:13 -0700
From: sanjay9000
Subject: [2000] E! True Wall Street/Hollywood Story?

Dear (redacted),

My name is Sanjay Sanghoee and I am co-chair of the media committee for Columbia Business School's Alumni Club of New York. I am Class of 2000.

I am working on a high-profile movie project on a Wall Street theme that I thought might be of interest to some of you and could be lucrative as well. Please see the attached article from Crain's New York Business on this project.

I started my professional career as an investment banker and currently work with a hedge fund. As day turns into night however, I work on my true passion: Writing. I wrote a novel titled 'Merger,' a corporate thriller, that was published by a division of St. Martin's Press in 2006.

The novel received praise from Chicago Tribune and BARRON's and the Foreword for the paperback was written by Harvey Pitt, the former chairman of the SEC. Shortly about release, a major production company in Hollywood (Brillstein Grey Entertainment) decided to develop the book, which is a mix between 'Wall Street' and 'The Firm', into a $15 million motion picture. I was thrilled since I felt this story really needs to be told to a wide audience, especially after the corporate scandals we have seen over the past decade.

I wrote the script, created a business plan and started fundraising for the movie, with technical guidance from Harvey Pitt and Bethany McLean, the Fortune magazine reporter who broke the Enron story and co-writer of 'The Smartest Guys in the Room'. In addition to my producing duties, Brillstein also felt that I was the ideal candidate to creatively bring Merger to the big screen and attached me as the director. On a more detailed note, I directed a short film last year which was well received by Brillstein and convinced them that I had the ability to do this.

We have a topnotch team assembled for the movie, including a Casting Director who has worked on movies liked 'United 93', 'Black Hawk Down' and 'The Good Shepherd' and the Director of Photography from 'The Guardian' (Kevin Costner) and 'Mission: Impossible 3' (Tom Cruise). Also, we plan to cast two supporting roles from Bollywood (even though Merger is a mainstream Hollywood film with American lead roles), thereby greatly expanding the international potential of this film.

So cutting to the chase, we have 50% of the financing available to us through soft monies and debt financing. We also have strong interest from a wealthy investor to provide 20% of the budget in equity, and are looking to line up the remaining 30% in equity that will enable us to put the various pieces together. The 30% translates to roughly $4.5 million dollars.

Please note I am offering a generous finder's fee to any alum(s) who can help us line up investors in an expedited fashion.

At this time I would like to present a synopsis of the project: Merger is a fast-paced story of an Indian media baron (Vikram Suri) who uses a hostile takeover of an American company to further his ambitions, and in the process jeopardizes U.S. national security. He is brought down by a tough-nosed New York Times reporter (Amanda Fleming), a savvy investment banker (Tom Carter), and a rogue CIA Agent (Jack Ward).

The Hollywood stars we are targeting include Josh Hartnett, Edward Burns, Ryan Phillippe, Diane Kruger, Kate Beckinsale and Julia Stiles. On the Bollywood side, our top choices include Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan and Hritik Roshan. As many of you know, Bollywood cinema has a tremendous following in places like Western Europe, Asia, the Middle East and Australia. This opens up a treasure trove of marketing possibilities for both the film and the novel, which can be cross sold.

I am keen on directing this project since I know the world in which this film is set and am very passionate about the story. With your help, I can bring this project to fruition. My good friend Som Chivukula, who is an Associate Producer on the project, is helping me in this endeavor as well.

We look forward to hearing any ideas you may have and of course making this worth your while financially. Please contact (redacted) for more information and check out our website at www.relentlesspics.com

Best wishes,

Sanjay Sanghoee
Producer
Relentless Pictures Inc.

www.relentlesspics.com
www.merger-novel.com

See, we thought Sanjay was advised to stop mentioning Josh Hartnett, Edward Burns, Ryan Phillippe, Diane Kruger, Kate Beckinsale and Julia Stiles when the only real star he could get a tentative yes from was the lovely Lara Flynn Boyle. Still, we admire his entrepreneurial spirit. It reminds us of nothing so much as those Nigerian gentlemen who keep emailing us about inheritances and so forth.

"The sender of the first junk e-mail message was Gary Thuerk and it was sent to advertise new additions to DEC's family of System-20 minicomputers. It invited the recipients, all of whom were on Arpanet and lived on the west coast of the US, to go to one of two presentations showing off the capabilities of the System-20.

"Reaction to the message was swift, with complaints reportedly coming from the US Defense Communications Agency, which oversaw Arpanet, and took Mr Thuerk's boss to task about it.

"Despite Mr Thuerk's pioneering spam it took many years for unsolicited commercial e-mail to become a nuisance. It took until 1993 before it won the name of spam - a name bestowed on it by Joel Furr - an administrator on the Usenet chat system. Mr Furr reputedly got his inspiration for the name from a Monty Python sketch set in a restaurant whose menu heavily featured the processed meat." [BBC via Slog]

Now we celebrate!

I was an intern for Charlie Rose back in '03, and at that time David Gregory was a frequent guest, usually on remote from Washington. I would watch the less-than-congenial, highly abusive, and generally abrasive Rose do the usual pre-show banter with Gregory; whereby they'd both bask in their own sense of self-satisfaction for a while, then make jokes about President Bush (not that everyone doesn't, but it did destroy the illusion of journalistic objectivity for me).

My best guess is Gregory is definitely taking 'star' lessons from the diva/mentor himself, Charlie.

The dude is a total jerk.

Once, I was hanging with some friends in DC and we decided to go to the Capitol. We agreed to meet at a certain point at the front steps when we were done. There were maybe 8 of us. Well it turns out that David Gregory was reporting from the lawn of the Capitol around the spot where we were meeting up. The guy did his report, turned around, and proceeded to berate us and curse at us for being fame seeking assholes for ruining his shot and then asked if we wanted his autograph.

Whiner, arrogant, pious, self centered puke - that's him!!

And Fitted Sweats asks the important question: what if you were stranded on a tropical island with him?

David Gregory would insist being stranded was all your fault in the first place. He'd make a weird headband from an old dress shirt. Go jogging. Then start asking about what Presidents you've met. "Come on," he'd say. "Has to be at least one, right?" You'd say no. Meekly. Then he'd say "What was your GPA in college?" And spend the whole time undermining you. And being his typically douchey prematurely gray self. If he dies, after writing some bad poetry on a cave wall with a rock, he's too pasty to cannibalize.

I sort of think the joke doesn't work with Alex Kuczynski given that she's no longer on staff and hasn't been for a loooooong time. Deborah Solomon is obviously a contract writer with the magazine, not a member of the union. Hence neither of them belong in your poll. And Amanda Hesser did quit, already. A couple of weeks ago. Anyway, I don't mean ot be all high and mighty about it, but it just seems to me that in general, if you are going to be merciless cunts, it would help to know what you're talking about.

And regarding Alessandra Stanley, and the post from yesterday... She is exactly the kind of Times writer Gawker ought to be championing, and instead you guys have been relentlessly kicking the shit out of her for three years, for every correction she ever gets, for her style, writing today that she should be forced to take a buyout...Obviously, she gets too many corrections, but she churns out (sometimes) as many as five columns a week, and is funny and irreverent not in the maer roshan sense of the word, but in the real sense of the word...Are you guys jealous? Did you just arbitrarily decide to be malicious to her? I totally get it with useless Bill Carter but with her, I find it totally mystifying.

Just saying.

Good points all, except for the lame (five columns a week! presumably written while dodging sniper fire?) defense of Alessandra Stanley, who clearly just hates her job. Kelefa Sanneh has never, to our knowledge, accidentally mentioned the hit single "Totally Out-There" from hiphop duo Charles Barkley. Maybe the architecture critic accidentally mistakes perforated parapets for plain ones every week but we're not a nation of architects, we're a nation of television viewers, and we notice when someone calls it "All About Raymond."

We freely own up to malicious cuntiness, though.

Gawker,

A woman standing in line in front of me at Hale & Hearty salads just ordered the single most disgusting combination of ingredients imaginable: peas, beets, hard boiled egg, chicken (egg & chicken together! horror!), goat cheese, raisins, garbanzo beans.

Please let your readers and fellow salad eaters know that certain combinations of ingredients are inherently gross and will NOT be tolerated.

Post Expression: allows you to save post-mortem farewell messages, each one set up with a time-limit so if you don't log in after a certain amount of time, the bye-bye notes are emailed to the appropriate parties. The site's motto? "Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Justincaseidie.com: operates in the same way. However, the website also encourages you to send time-delayed hate letters to your enemies telling them what you really thought of them.

Disclaimer: If you set up a message and accidentally forget about the time limit, your computer will automatically inform your loved ones of your passing, even though you're still alive. About that time, your boss will be reading your letter telling him what a dick he is and how you and your coworkers once circle-jerked into his coffee.

Don't wait, act now!

[Via Guest of a Guest]

Oh no!! This was more than a half-hour after the cops took care of it, but still. Guanabee reports:

The young men had no idea what they were getting into when police stormed the area looking for them after a 911 call was placed by a woman located at 37 King Street. A reporter from Guanabee heard her tell an officer at the scene that she saw the boys through her window playing with the rifle and that one of them 'looked directly at her and smiled.'

See, it sounds idiotic, but you have to remember: white kids are not really clear on the idea that they, too, can be seen as threats and even arrested.

Exclusive Pictures From The Kate Hudson King Street "Shooting" [Guanabee]

Fellow Employees,

You may have heard me say that I will be taking an annual salary of 50 cents. Apparently, that figure was disturbing to some people. Someone on my team recently received an e-mail from an employee who was concerned that 50 cents does not divide evenly into 26 paychecks.

So, I’ve decided we should form a committee, hold a meeting, and then hire a compensation consultant to decide if my salary should be increased to 52 cents a year.

While I’m sure that falls under the cap for raises, it may be against some old policy restricting salary increases for employees with less than 12 months of tenure.

Do I need a committee, meeting and another consultant to change that policy?

Oh, that’s right, I’m in charge now. What policy?

More to come…

Sam

Surely there are even worse examples of this sort of King-quoting corporate email floating around. If you find one, let me know. After all—Jesus believed in hard work, why should we get Christmas off?

A number of new commenters, according to Comment Czar Kaila, have pointed out similarities between Cruise's call to "clean this place up" and Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels' 1943 "Total War" speech, perhaps due to comments by historian Guido Knopp. Here's a representative one:

BY VONGRZYB AT 01/19/08 07:53 PM
WOW !!! Tom Cruise like Goebbels in Berliner Sportpalast - 18. February 1943.

Congratulations from Poland

And one commenter claims to be a former member of the Scientologist sect that, according to Wikipedia, "wrested control" of the church while Hubbard was dying.

BY MARKDUMKE AT 01/19/08 02:39 AM
..BYW I used to make out with David M. when he was a pup....I was a Commodores Messenger...no Im not dead .. no Im not insane...Yes I kicked your ass in a lawsuit...Im doing just fine..without you... LRH loved me...He told me if I ever wanted to be a millionaire to form my own religion...What does that tell you...Your just a pawn in the whole circus..to make millions for SCN....Yes you've declared me SP and Yes Im causing you PTS..oooo aren't you scared of me..Yes I'm OT 7 as CLEAR AS FUCKING HELL.. MSH

And here's one more email:

Subject: Tom Cruise Clip

Gawker,

The best part of the scientology clip was the back ground music. Please tell me who did it.

Related: Gawker Coverage of Tom Cruise

Subject: Tom Cruise
I do not understand all the hype about Tom Cruise. Everyone knows he's weird....enough said.

Subject: Divide and Conquer
I have the best idea of all: lets do a check on his
faith, all that thinks he is crazy and an idiot lets
not support his due payments to crazy land and boycott
his movies and we will see the light turn on or see
the alien being that has "SP" come out of his arrse,
then I might think oh he is not full of crap but add a
alien in there tooooo. Thanks

Related: Suri, Not L. Ron Hubbard's Spawn, A Cutie Pie!

Dear [Redacted], Yes, you are right I wish I could disappear. Because the truth is...the pix were normal vacation pix...not playboy spread pix. the problem was...my friend's (of 9 years!) apparently wasn't aware of our friendship! THAT is why she was so upset (which I understand by the way, b/c I have BEEN there under real cheating circumstances). You shouldn't believe everything that you read...because I chose not to comment to protect my friend. Instead I got thrown under the bus, when I did nothing wrong...and have never done anything inappropriate. But thanks for making an already awful time in my life...that much more horrible. Maybe I will disappear...maybe that would make you feel better. And you are wrong, "this" particular woman...is very deep..and very hurt and humiliated over something that should have been rather insignificant. thanks again for making me feel as terrible as I could possibly feel. Job well done.

Alycia