• Leonard Lopate: The bearded and bespectacled WNYC host that comes on after Brian Lehrer is in so many ways a pretentious tool and then sometimes coughs on air for multiple minutes hilariously and insults Californians in a segment about Ugliness. Also, his staff is very attractive.
  
• Emily and Michelle: In many important ways these women in Astoria embody a fantastic sort of Truffautian carefree flippancy. The girls don't take themselves too seriously. They like to party. They have a thing for an Asian man named Douglas. They are definitely fun. But also they are kind of crazy and unhinged in a way that seems destructive to themselves and their Zwack-loving black roommate. And maybe to us!
  
• Boots and Jean combinations: So I wear tight APC jeans and boots and I like how it looks when I tuck the former into the latter. Someone informed me that that is a gay look but I like it and furthermore, if you don't do that it looks like you have cankles.
  
• Access Mayor: At midnight on weekdays on NYC TV, there's this show of Mayor Bloomberg giving speeches at openings. It is so boring and yet, I even TiVo it. He is so charming in a dorky way and is the best argument for Jews, oligarchs and an independent candidacy since Ross Perot.
  
• Norwood: I want to join but I don't want to want to join this member's club on W. 14th street. Also I don't want to spend $2,005 to go to a place where you still have to pay for drinks.
  
• Facebook: When our boss made us all join Facebook, I was unhappy. But through it I found out that this girl who I was in love with since third grade lives around the corner from me! We're meeting for drinks next week. But then also this kid, let's call him, Aaron Rosenberg who I also went to high school with and didn't like asked to be my friend and I said no because I thought, "Ew, like I wasn't his friend then and I'm not going to be now." That's just silly and petty.
  
• Emily Gould.
  
• Claire Danes: She's still beautiful but her crumple face crying, her somewhat shitty accent, and her involvement with Hugh Dancy has all somewhat taken the luster off our love. I'd say I still love her but I'm not in love with her.
  
• Cleaning Ladies: I have one. Her name is Pham. She's great. Right now she is in Shanghai visiting family. So we pay her $15/hour but always just give her $50 no matter how long she is there. Also, what the fuck am I doing with a cleaning lady? It's insane. I'm ashamed and yet am deeply grateful I don't have to clean the bathroom. (Subnote: also ambivalent about my roommate because he clogs the drain with his hair but he is also the best kid I know). Mostly I think I like Pham because it's nice to have a nag. It reminds me of my mom.

our new roommate, she's black
and always drunk. in the past five minutes we've witnessed her running into a wall, chugging rum in her closet, drinking zwack from our freezer, running into the kitchen wall and falling over

So there's this:But then there's also this: The most interesting thing about this whole Emily and Michelle story is that, though usually greater access to a thing engenders greater understanding of it, with Emily and Michelle the more you know the less you understand until you find yourself living with them, going crazy and drinking zwack from their freezer to numb the pain/pleasure.

It's like when you have a junkie friend who you think is clean and then you see them on the street trying to score and you feel sad and angry and also protective. And then your friend looks at you kind of ashamed but to weak to resist his demons and breaks off eye contact. Emily recently wrote us, "do we get any more free help?" Sigh. You do. The Craigslist ad is titled, $800 get it while the gettins good and the gettins never good." They listed their address as 26th Ave at Cock st."

do we have, we don't have any wine... i was gonna stop and get some but my toes were frozen off...aaaaaaahhhhh fucking chicago" michellle

"uh..yehl...huhuhuhuahhahahahahkmphhhhhahahahahahmmmppphhhhhhahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAsnortuhhahaha...phew."-Emily

thats all true.

um, uh, um... sigh

we're sick of looking for roomates. the first person who will move in jan 1 gets it.

we would like to make a few corrections from peter's commentary

1. there is no pasta sauce in the freezer, its meat
2. our apartment is furnished by fraudulent tax return money, we both lack a father
3. that picture is not us, we're far better looking, and our mouths are smaller
4. peters face was bleeding

It was a brisk saturday night in astoria. while the local mexicans were finishing their laundry, we were cleaning for a potluck. michelle cleaned the living room, zach cleaned the kitchen, emily was on bathroom duty and bekah got her nails done. everyone wore a shirtdress. we love shirt dresses.

we'll have to finish this tomorrow. michelle needs her beauty rest and i have a burrito waiting for me in the fridge.

us

Due to overwhelming response we have come to the conclusion that a potluck is necessary.

please bring a vegetarian or nonvegetarian dish to
XX-XX XXth ave #1
this sat. at 7pm.

um.

its about a mile from the train, get used to it. its a douzie in the winter.

during said potluckathon you will meet:
1. the bedrooms
2. the other rooms
3. me
4. michelle
5. zach and bekah of the grand daddy
6. maybe james from the charmer if he comes home
7. maybe our landlord, douglas. he's asian, don't be alarmed.

we will have question and answer period, and perhaps a dress up contest.

if you got this email, it means during our email discussion on gmail chat we decided you were at least ok. if you sent two emails to trick us and only one of them got this return email, then haha.

ok, let me know if you have any questions. please don't email me back if you're coming, or email me with anything that will annoy me because im sick of reading these things. only if its important.

peace love and potluck,
emily

ps. if someone brings nametags, that'd be great.