-
judgments
The Persistent Failure of Steven Brill
Steven Brill has a reputation for being a media wise man—a deep-thinking mogul who's always spotting the opportunities of The Future. Which is kind of strange, since the majority of his projects have been ostentatious failures. More » -
field guide
So You Want to Be a Fameball?
Too often, random people contact us, begging to be covered as fameballs. What they don't realize is that fameballdom is an organic process. This guide will help your effort to become ubiquitous and despicable:
More » -
rich girls
Where in the World is Emily Brill?
Heiressblogger and ultimate narrator Emily Brill is pulling some shenanigans! Her blog seems to have been erased. The ghostly message replacing it: "Hey New Yorkers, One year on the blog was always the plan. Now working on long term (and paying) projects. Yours, Emily" More » -
emily brill
"My handwriting is cryptic and so am I."
We got this sweet picture of media heiress and ultimate narrator Emily Brill looking fancy on New Year's Eve. So as an excuse to run it, let's hear Emily's analysis of MTV's The City: More » -
heroes
Happy Birthday, Emily Brill
Today is Emily Brill's birthday! Take a moment, if you would, to reflect back on what the young media heiress has accomplished in this past year: inspired by a mean Gawker post, she founded her very own blog, triumphed over disease, traveled to distant lands, posed provocatively, wore her pearl necklace, stood resolutely with Sarah Palin, and finally became the Ultimate Narrator. Quite a time. She's celebrating today by going to FAO Schwarz to "pick out two animals," then maybe going to a blowjob party. Click through for one more fun picture of Emily in devilish party mode. We salute you, Ms. Brill: More » -
the written word
From the Desk Of Emily Brill: Trenchant, Hand-Scrawled Gossip Girl Musings
Oh Emily Brill. The blogging (she's Hamilton's favorite New York writer, for serious) media heiress has stooped to our level. Last night she decided to swallow the horse pill of her pride and watch an episode of bitchy Upper East Side teen soap operaThe McLaughlin GroupGossip Girl, and then wrote about it! It could be seen as direct competition for our swatting-at-a-bug-zapper ramblings about the show, except it's much better and, like, informed. More » -
the internet
Emily Brill Afflicted with Blogger Burnout
Burnout: it happens to the best (and the worst!) of bloggers. Everyone's susceptible—even professional unpaid societyblogger-heiresses like Fifth Avenue Misfit Emily Brill. Her blog was down for like, days! (Everyone has those George Constanza moments where they storm out of work in a huff, only to return the next day pretending like they didn't quit.) We eulogized her and asked her to come back over the weekend, but only for our own snarky, selfish purposes. Now, the Brill is back, bitches ("I took things down for a bit of the timeout"), and she's ready to continue serving as our Ultimate Narrator: More » -
fameball blog death
Emily Brill: An Appreciation
Since she came into the blogging world just a short time ago, Emily Brill's complete lack of awareness has been properly appreciated by fameball connoisseurs the world over. Is the future heiress to the Brill fortune now gone like Keyser Söze? Some are speculating that Emily terminated her blog because of an ultimatum by her parents after some less-than-bright comments about being lost in lower Manhattan and only seeing signs with foreign lettering on them. Wait, you're saying she doesn't have a translator with her at all times? Pray this doesn't mean an end to an era. More » -
-
emily brill
The Ultimate Narrator
Emily Brill: "This place is so beautiful. It sucks to go home alone. Movie star earlier. But I told him no. I’m a prude. Sorry. I wonder what my friends from brown did tonight. Or maybe they didn’t do anything. I bet they all got 7 hours of sleep. or at least 6. One of them had a birthday this wknd and didn’t even invite me. Asshat. Sent via BlackBerry" [Essentially Emily] -
the gawker pin-up
Emily Brill
Good morning! We're bringing back our Gawker Pin-Up feature. Today's candidate: socialite and publishing heiress, blogger Emily Brill. She's channeling Sarah Palin and holding a gun. Brill is usually eager to highlight her uptown upbringing—as she told Page Six magazine, "I didn't come from a chicken farm—I cam from Dalton." (Have any suggestions about our next pin-up? Who would you like to see shirtless and holding a gun?) -
emily brill
Emily Brill Is Not Too Young For A Pearl Necklace
To our great disappointment, media heiress and Palin-supporting blogger from the planet Pluto Emily Brill did not offer up one of her patented "OMG live blogs" from last night's debate. On the plus side, she is finally putting this whole "pearl necklace" issue to rest: More » -
emily brill
Emily Brill's Vote Will Cancel Yours Out
Yesterday we told you the media heiress and fervent Sarah Palin fan Emily Brill was planning an exclusive party to watch the VP debates and live blog them, for some reason. As a salve to the wounded egos of those of you unable to attend, Guest of a Guest caught up with Emily for an awkward sidewalk interview about life and politics that somehow just makes our outlook on this nation even bleaker. "You still have no idea. Trust me," writes Emily. If only we could. Watch it after the jump, while weeping: More » -
people's parties
Things To Crash: Emily Brill's Exclusive Debate Party
Apparently there's some sort of political "debate" tonight in which a crazy man from Delaware is going to be yelling at the young and clueless child bride of a Russian fur trader. Yes, Joe Biden is debating Sarah Palin tonight—winner gets the most meaningless job in politics. And now, like Rose La Touche hosting the Lincoln-Douglas debates, self-appointed socialite and heiress Emily Brill—operator of the most meaningless blog in politics, Essentially Emily—is hosting a "strictly uptown" live-blogging debate event. No sneakers! You're probably not invited, because it's seriously exclusive, but the invitation is after the jump anyway: More » -
emily brill
Sarah Palin, Reconsidered. (*Snicker*)
Heiress and ultimate narrator Emily Brill on Sarah Palin: "But beyond discourse, she’s even inspired people to take risks in expression. I have one ‘boldfaced’ friend who finally started wearing an Obama pin to events after the Palin announcement, against the wishes of the conservative ’society’ family he comes from. So whatever you think of Palin, you’ve got to give her credit for engaging people and reinvigorating both sides of the spectrum." Mmm yes! And have you read Emily's presidential debate live blog? Do it now. [Essentially Emily] -
emily brill
Emily Brill Will Not Allow You To Eat Yourself To Death
Media heiress and urban prose stylist Emily Brill used to be overweight, which is worse than cancer. She heroically slimmed down, and is now compelled to weigh in, ha, on weighty public health issues. So when she saw a week-old Times story about the decline of calorie-counting, she could not conscientiously keep quiet! "Mind if I add my two cents?" she writes. "I did manage to lose some weight over the past year or two..." More » -
socialites
Emily Brill Does Obligatory Post-Profile Damage Control
Socialite-blogger and publishing heiress Emily Brill was profiled in Page Six Magazine this Sunday as a high-society "outcast" whose uptown and Hamptons-centric blogging project has irritated the status quo, alienating her from other socials. "I hope people don't think [my blog] is an attempt to draw attention to myself," she told the magazine. Now that the article's out, she's posted a point-by-point rebuttal on her blog, acting as if she's a public figure with a reputation to defend. No matter how shamelessly they court attention, people generally don't like being written about or profiled, because they can't control the outcome. More » -
emily brill
Emily Brill Will Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH EMILY BRILL? We can scarcely contain our curiosity; "Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray" to Emily. The idle, wealthy daughter of a media mogul—supporting herself with only a trust fund and a blog—has transformed into New York's ultimate narrator. Only she seems able to capture in prose the throbbing, relentless pulse that underlies this great city. We have so many questions: What did she have for dinner? How long did she wait to get in that bar? And what year was that terrorist attack, again? Come on New Yorkers, let's rock: More » -
reality tv
Five Socialite Reality Shows That Will Soon Be Upon Us
Mad Men is collecting dust on my DVR queue. There I admit it. I've fallen like three or four episodes behind. It's not that I don't like it. I do! It's wonderful (if slightly, horribly depressing)! It's just that I have so much television to watch for work. And, unfortunately, Mr. Hamm & co., it's not going to get any better. A spate of reality shows—some old, some new—will soon be tumbling out of the gate and into our living rooms. Many of these shows, sadly, feature layabout socialites like Olivia Palermo and Kelly Killoren Bensimon. I've compiled a little rundown of these shows for you after the jump because, well, who doesn't like a Monday listicle.
More » -
emily brill
Emily Brill Is "The Ultimate Narrator"
Emily Brill, the daughter of media mogul Steve Brill and the "hardest" "working" heiress on the interwebs, is simply exhausted! Commenters made some snide remarks about her latest blog post on the edgy, underground world of rich kids trading their meds with each other. You anonymous online detractors just don't understand the drama of Emily's life. Try to imagine surviving her grueling schedule—the nonstop stress of being a professional blogger. Narrate for us, Ms. Brill: More » -
how to pitch
MTV Seeks Ex-Fatties, Offends Emily Brill
MTV just sent a PR pitch about their new Model Makers show to the wrong person. Socialite-publishing heiress and professional unpaid blogger Emily Brill used to be chubby, slimmed down, and is pissed about the show's message. It does sound annoying—we never thought we'd say this, but we agree with Emily Brill's objections! “Have you always wanted to model but don’t know where to start? Maybe you don’t know the right people. Maybe you are not thin enough…” More » -
socialites
Emily Brill A Well-Disguised Intellectual
Emily Brill, the socialite heiressblogger, went to private Manhattan prep school Dalton. What does she have to say about the forthcoming Schooled, a novel set in a private school written by ex-Dalton teacher Anisha Lakhani? Brill wants us to know that private-school preps are intellectual, and not as vapid and vicious as the Gossip Girl girls: More » -
crime & punishment
Person Who Stole Devorah Rose's Camera Can Run, But They Can't Hide
Ruh roh. Devorah Rose, Social Life magazine person (and friend of totes essential heiress and blogger Emily Brill), has been robbed. Someone has purloined her digital camera, which contained many important photos. If you are the nefarious crook, don't even think about posting them online because Devi will know who you are and she will fuck your shit the fuck up. "This isn't a game. But if you want to play, I am going to win," she warns in the most ominous way possible, via a Facebook status update. The intimidation continues with a shot of her bikini clad self mashing up against some other young chippy. So take heed, wicked camburglar, don't be puttin' her stuff up on tumblr or she'll Flickr you in the head. Click for larger Sapphic Facebook screenshot. Update: A tipster tells us "FYI: No one actually stole her camera. Its a desperate attempt at an 'interesting' plot development of her upcoming reality show. And you just played into it with that posting..." Oh snap! We've been had! Devorah, u stole mah fotobucket. -
disasters
Hills Star Graduates to Ranks of 'Bitchy' Celebrity?
If you've ever watched The Hills and thought to yourself "these girls just aren't bitchy enough," well then you oughta be satisfied now. Lauren Conrad, star of MTV's odd sensation of a reality soap, was the star of a charity event last night that was all about being nice to puppies and stuff. She slouched down the red carpet holding a dog she didn't own, posed for pictures, all that googaw. At the end of the evening she was supposed to do some sort of catwalk thing with the little beast, but it never happened. Because she'd already stormed off in a huff, leaving the emcee of the event to say to the whole audience “those reality stars can be such temperamental bitches." It's a joke... about dogs... and about unpleasant women. More » -
shut up, rich people
Emily Brill's Harrowing Escape From New York
As long as we're piling on millionaire media celebrities today, here's the latest video blog clown show from Emily Brill. In the video Brill, the daughter of media mogul Steve, is traveling yet again to the Hamptons (a fact we're reminded of many, many times) with magazine person Devorah Rose and a silly little dog. They're in Em's Lexus, which she's driving in Manhattan for the first time. The dizzy duo is a bit lost and confused when trying to leave the island Manhattan (Emily about the Triborough Bridge: "Wait does that go to another borough?") and all they can tell is that they're heading toward the Beatrice Inn ("like, downtown.") Then! Yay! They find the tunnel and Emily just cannot believe that her car is going to Queens. Over and over again she says it! Filthy horrid Queens! Her precious car! Blahhh blah blah blah. Oh, and then Devorah calls herself "useless." Sigh. Silly Thursday afternoon video fun after the jump. More » -
socialites
Emily Brill's Hamptons Rock-Out
Media heiress Emily Brill is just like the rest of us. When she's cruising beach-ward on the Long Island Expressway at the start of a killer Hamptons weekend, she simply must RAWK to a little of that sweet, sweet GNR! And nearly kills herself and her galpal in the process. Vid after the jump. More » -
blogs
Emily Brill's Blog Has a Strategist
Socialite and beginning blogger Emily Brill has "media strategist" representation for her blog chronicling the misadventures of a "Fifth Avenue Misfit." Who knew? It's DolceGoldin, who we reported on earlier re: their dealings with author James Frey. And "she's had one for a while now, surprisingly," we're informed. May we suggest the next strategy for Brill: earning actual monies from said bloggings! [Daily Intel] -
the second generation
Emily Brill's Father is Proud of Her, OK?
Socialite and fledgling blogger Emily Brill's dad, mogul Steve Brill, is proud of his 25-year-old daughter's blogging habit—or as the Observer calls it, her "giddy internet adventure." He tells them it's "quite a distance from when she was writing a brilliant honors thesis in prep school about the electoral college, but it's well-written and has a distinctive voice. It's now clear that the more she does it, the better she is getting at it." Whoa, Dad. Don't think we didn't catch that subtle neg. [NYO] -
media mesh
Harvard Duchess Resurfaces with Emily Brill, Tells Her to Tip Better
Our favorite socialiteblogger Emily Brill is hanging out with charity gal Erica Birmingham! (We've introduced you to her before; she was the Duchess of Harvard!) Brill tells the Observer that Erica is "full of life, loves New York and has a great heart." We think Duchess Erica will be good for Brill—she's already told the heiress and daughter of former publishing magnate Steve Brill to start tipping better: More » -
nightlife
Hot Club Bans Fun
Beatrice Inn, the "babe central" Manhattan nightspot that already cracked down on sex and drugs with a sternly worded bathroom sign, has now also banned smoking and dancing. All that's left is for them to ban pretty women and young horny celebrity guys, and they can shut down in peace! Of course, Emily Brill knew about this months ago. [DBTH] -
emily brill
The Life Of Emily Brill
Check out last night's self-made biopic. The media mogul's daughter shares her life—and resurrection—while covering a Madonna song. -
protocelebrities
Emily Brill's Madonna Video Is 40 Minutes Long
Reading socialite Emily Brill's blog feels a lot like being her free therapist. One minute she declares her love for you, another she's lashing out. You listen to her narcissistic hyperbole, her daddy issues, her body issues. And, tonight, you watch a 40-minute music video set to the Madonna song "Ray of Light," with Brill belting out the lyrics herself, and read about how "This is a video about resurrection. Or maybe even feeling fully alive for the first time." The video, like Brill's other moments, is as hard to look away from as it is tedious, particularly if you've never been a media mogul's disaffected daughter. The actual moving pictures part runs roughly six minutes; the rest of the video is silence interspersed with Brill and Madonna singing, sort of a hidden track for the YouTube era, I guess. Watch it after the jump. More » -
asking for it
Emily Brill to Dad: Internet Notoriety Is a Job!
Today on Essentially Emily, Emily Brill asserts that Nick Denton is not the only reason why people bother to read Essentially Emily. No, they care about the pseudo socialite who is "friends" with Kristian Laliberte because of her dad, former media tycoon and current airport security specialist Steve Brill, and not because Gawker occasionally highlights her wit and wisdom. Emily claims, "Nick's greatest fantasy, indeed, would have been a public feud with Steven Brill over his humiliated daughter." I've been to Nick's apartment, and his fantasies have nothing to do with Steve Brill. More » -
asking for it
Emily Brill, Ex-Fattie: "I Do Feel Like a Cancer Survivor"
Here's a heartwarming adage from my grandmother: "You can never be too rich or too thin." (Can't wait to see you this weekend, Safta! Yes, I'm laying off the matzo.) Emily Brill has always been rich, but hasn't always been thin. In fact, she was once chubby in a spoiled 10 year-old kind of way, which makes sense because she is the daughter of media millionaire Steve Brill, so she probably got to eat allll the candy she wanted to. But now Emily is thin. And on her blog, she announced that she'll do whatever it takes to stay that way. More » -
socialites
A Field Guide to 2008's Six Douchiest Cliques
Style.com wants to tell you who the cool kids are. They've compiled a field guide to "2008's Coolest Cliques" using the following six dubious categories: The New (New) Bohemian, The European Union, The Swans 2.0, The Catwalk Queens and The New Kids on the Blog. Julia Allison is mentioned three times! The whole thing is rather irritatingly in ad-maximizing slideshow form and the commentary is anodyne, so here's a condensed and snarkier version. Buckle in, kids. We'll get through this together.
More » -
let's blog
Emily Brill's Blog Makeover
Finally! The socialite-turned-blogger (and daughter of publishing magnate Steven Brill), has given her Confessions of a 5th Avenue Misfit website a pink-and-white makeover. (Pink is also Tinsley Mortimer's favorite color, you know.) The previous wonky design and weird picture of a city sunset simply had to go, just like last season's Gucci. Now she can even blog remotely — like from the Beatrice Inn, where she seems to spend most of her time. And, awww — she even includes us in her blogroll! Click to see. More » -
socialites
Emily Brill Was Brown's "PgeSixGrl"
College! It's a time of self-expression and experimentation, especially if you're born idly rich. What's worse than jokingly calling yourself, say, the Duchess of Harvard? A former college chum of socialite Emily Brill tell us that the license plate on her Lexus SUV read, "PgeSixGrl." Perfect for tooling around the littlest Ivy, Brown. (The rest of the Brill fam attended Yale.) Page Six, indeed! Brill currently has designs on new media, as evidenced by her blog ambition, and we're guessing that her dad, publishing mogul Steven Brill, doesn't understand her. He doesn't even know what a Fendi baguette is! -
open caption
A Twee Pose In Brooklyn
[Liam McMullan, son of photographer Patrick, parties this weekend while wearing aspiring socialite Emily Brill's sunglasses. Brill said of the party: "I thoroughly enjoy parties during which people a) actually dance and b) wear sunglasses at night and c) know that there isn't someone skulking around from Gawker or the Observer." Image via Brill's blog] More » -
language
Let's Blog!
It was cringeworthy enough when pundit-turned-blogger Arianna Huffington began talking about her cronies submitting a "blog" as if the word referred to an individual post, rather than an entire site. Now another web newbie, Steven Brill's socialite daughter, is mangling the lingo. Emily Brill ran into absurd socialgay Kristian Laliberte at Bloomingdale's menswear department last night. She summoned the fashion publicist over for a photo. “Okay Kristian, get over here. Let’s blog.” (Laliberte's desire to promote his label, Unruly Heir, must have trumped the embarrassment of such a hanger-on.) -
emily brill
Emily Brill is super sorry she posted Hud Morgan's pissy voicemail on the internet last Monday. The self-promoting socialite says her video of Hud's vaguely threatening call defending his relationship with seventeen year-old Leven Rambin isn't the type of "content I am interested in pursuing as a journalist and goes against the high standards of journalistic integrity I have always tried to hold myself to." Clearly, she's ridiculous and her delusions of being a "journalist" are laughable. On the other hand, I'm posting about this, so I obviously have lower "journalistic" standards then some socialite's blog. Whatever. Emily may talk a good game, but she's not taking the clip off her site. She's going to keep it online because of some nonsense about how "this blog has to represent an honest evolution of me." Hey, Emily. If you're going to be an asshole on the internet, you should at least be real with yourself about it. Trust me, I know about this stuff. -
emily brill
The Greatest Reality Show That Never Was
It's so disappointing that Emily Brill and Kristian Laliberte (second from right and second from left, respectively) won't be appearing together after all in the planned Manhattan version of The Hills: the two empty socialites are already stabbing each other in the back like reality television pros. Brill, the publishing heiress, says she dropped out of Stick Figure Production's show because she wanted respect. "My writing is my priority. Not fame, not parties, not glamour. No short cuts. I'm going to earn respect through good, err, excellent writing." That's an option unavailable to her supposed friend, language-mangling fashion publicist Laliberte, who remains involved with the horrific reality show, according to Brill. But that's not the end of the story.
More »



























.jpg)







