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eric schaeffer
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douchebags
Nightmare Online Dater John Fitzgerald Page Is The Worst Person In The World
Hey, remember that wannabe i-banker douchebag Alexsey Vayner and his insanely braggy resume video? Do you recall Eric Schaeffer, the failed writer/director who hates women and blogs about how he can't believe he's still single? Well, what if they met and married and through some breakthrough in medical science had a baby? He would probably grow up to be something along the lines of Atlanta's John Fitzgerald Page, who in addition to working in corporate finance, being a part-time trainer, and being available for work as a "costumed character" or a "stand-in," also somehow finds the time in his day to be a colossal, mindbogglingly douchey douchebag to girls he meets on Match.com! More »
jerks on parade
Eric Schaeffer Is In Chicago; New York's Women Breathe Easy
Eric Schaeffer, the world's worst man, the man who cannot understand why no woman will marry him, the jerkiest jerk in jerk town, is on his book tour to support his opus, "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single"! Our Special Correspondent For Sexy Midwest Trends report things are going poorly: "I just walked through the Barnes and Noble on the first floor of my office building in Chicago (it's the DePaul University book store) and Eric Schaeffer had just finished reading to a group of about ten people next to the revolving doors. I noticed one large-breasted, blonde gal (very fake looking) and a ton of dudes who looked exactly like him. It looked like a really awkward event." Hey, by the way, have you ever looked at his book's page on Amazon? More »
dating
Total Freak: "Eric Schaeffer Is A Perfectly Normal And Acceptable Date"
Publicist Kelly Kreth had long fantasized about boning the author of I Can't Believe I'm Still Single, noted emosogynist perv Eric Schaeffer. So it's really no surprise that, when she finally managed to cram herself into his busy dating schedule, she found him charming. Another thing you should know about Kelly is that her idea of third-date banter is "If you gag and vomit I will force you to lick it up." More »
getting some asana
Yoga Classes Are Full Of Sleazy Eric Schaeffers
The article in the Times today about "inappropriate yoga guys," as immortalized in one of the funniest YouTube videos we've ever seen (seriously, watch it and see if you don't spit out your coffee when he does that Ujjayi breath), rips off all our blinders and reveals the shocking seamy underbelly of the yoga world. Just kidding, nothing in it will particularly shock any lady who has ever a) taken a yoga class that wasn't women's or prenatal or b) familiarized herself with the work of Gawker bete noire Eric Schaeffer, who prowls gyms looking for spandex-clad ladies at their most vulnerable. But we wonder if even he has pulled some of the heinous stunts described in this article. More »
men who make us hate men
Eric Schaeffer's Mindrape '07 Tour To Be A Documentary!
Remember Eric Schaeffer, the eating-disordered emosogynist who can't believe he's still single? You know, the guy we used to think was the most immature scary-deluded narcissist we'd ever encountered before we met Robert Olen Butler? Well, we had him on ignore for a while, which means we missed this SuicideGirls interview a few weeks ago. "I'm on the hunt bad," he tells Erin Broadley, who characterizes his memoir, which is partly about getting blow jobs from hookers, as "a personal and illuminating work that never shies from being up front and honest about looking for romance in a decidedly less and less romantic world." Okay! Anyway, that's not all our Eric has to say for himself. More »
the world's worst person
Eric Schaeffer's "Rape America's Mind" Tour '07!
Beginning next week in San Diego, and ending in October in New Haven, literary mastermind, yoga practitioner and extremely tiny and single ball of hatred Eric Schaeffer will be on book tour! As we know from experience, his readings are just something to see. So whether you live in Mendocino or Boise, you too can lose your dignity listening to the misguided pit of sadness that is Eric's hatred of women and self. Also! Eric's MySpace has a question for you! It is: "Have Your Bought The Book Yet?" Actually, no, mine hasn't, honey, but maybe their has?
The Still Single Book Tour [MySpace]
the gays
The Return Of The Bareback Top
Everyone's least favorite yet most intriguing blogger retired in late February. And now he's back! Keep your eyes on the skies, and the Craigslists and the Manhunts. And beware, future rapees of New York. More »
week in review
We took one last look at the Look Book.
We overheard the Times' Bill Keller telling his minions to "fake it till you make it."
We got a new snotty little sister who's always borrowing our makeup without asking.
We watched Rosie and Elisabeth resolve the war in Iraq.
We bathed in Tom Ford's musk.
We put the whole sorry Peter Braunstein mess behind us.
We tried to put the whole sorry Eric Schaeffer mess behind us. Again.
But not before we found him a dream date.
More »
Our Specialty Is Consumption. Our Subspecialty Is Diptheria.
denials
Eric Schaeffer Is "Just Friends" With Judith Regan
From Jason Gordon, the Williamsburg-based online marketing specialist who Eric Schaeffer has retained to help promote his book, comes this email:Here is an official response, approved by Eric Schaeffer, author of I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STILL SINGLE: Regarding the Gawker.com post "Did Judith Regan Intercourse With Eric Schaeffer?", the answer is no. Eric Schaeffer appeared on Judith Regan's television show a couple of years ago and almost signed a book deal with her. While he is fond of her and finds her very sexy, he never had anything other than a professional relationship with her. The blowjob came from another publishing house.Eric Schaeffer finds Judith Regan "very sexy!" Will wonders never cease?
the world's worst couple
Did Judith Regan Intercourse With Eric Schaeffer?
So Eric Schaeffer's making the rounds, promoting his book, and his interview with Nerve is mostly nothing new. "I've been in therapy for years. My spiritual path has been one of self-reflection," and "It's hard to find really smart, funny women who are confident and have a job or an aspiration that's inspiring to me," and "Special-massage girls will give you love because it's just the nature of who they are and what they're doing." But then there's this: "I ended a book deal from a major publisher in New York because the woman who runs the publishing company, when my dick was in her mouth, had her checkbook out and said, "I will buy your book now." Come again? (Or please, please, never come again, but, you know, clarify?) More »
the world's worst person
Meeting Eric Schaeffer
For most of his reading at the Chelsea Barnes & Noble last night, I Can't Believe I'm Still Single author Eric Schaeffer was in his charming first-date mode, all bashful grins and 'aw-shucks, little old screenwriter me? Did I mention I dated Molly Ringwald once?' But occasionally, Eric would get to the clause in one of his run-on sentences that contained a zinger. He'd narrow his eyes and shoot a barbed insult at a pathetic divorced fattie whose life had been brightened when he'd viewed her Nerve profile, or he'd diss a dirty whore who'd had the gall to waste Eric's dating time by not being upfront about her oral herpes, and it would hit you: This guy really hates women. It's not a joke. This is a sociopath who preys on the dating desperation of aging New York ladies and then writes delusional screeds about them in order to feel better about himself. This guy is a Peter Braunstein who hasn't snapped... yet. The audience for Eric's reading was full of women. After all, who hates women more than women do? More »
Eric Schaeffer's Book Party Is Tonight
Click through for our Kommunity Kalendar. If you've got anything you think our readers might enjoy, or might mock in a way that is advantageous for you or you just want to talk, email josh@gawker.com.
Click through for our Kommunity Kalendar. If you've got anything you think our readers might enjoy, or might mock in a way that is advantageous for you or you just want to talk, email josh@gawker.com.
eric schaeffer
Eric Schaeffer Skeeves Rebecca Traister in 'Salon'
Eric Schaeffer. Ugh! We almost can't even type the words. We're being serious and real right now: Eric Schaeffer represents the worst in men. He is every dick who's ever mistaken the fact that we were getting paid to serve him cocktails for "ooh, she wants me." He is every predatory asshole who has ever offered us a backrub when we were too young and dumb to understand how drunk we were. And, perhaps most importantly, Eric Schaeffer is the world's best argument for women's-only yoga classes. We were seriously, seriously never going to write about him again, but then Salon's ladyist-beat reporter Rebecca Traister sat down with the man, the myth, the internet-fame radar-blip and asked him about "the Gawker thing." It went sort of like this: More »
eric schaeffer
Match.com: Now Targeting the Lego Demographic
Perhaps this means that Match is now targeting a younger—much younger—demographic. In any case, these new ads can only be good news for our friend Eric Schaeffer.Match.com Says Love's for Everybody, Even You [Adrants]
eric schaeffer
The Cool Kid
Daily, we check to see how many people have read our blog. Whether it's growing, ebbing, flowing... It consistently grows a little every week in its readership, which is great. The other day the number suddenly spiked, like, a bazillion percent. Like many thousands of people above the usual number. We imed the tech people at Gawker Media who run the site and asked if maybe the counter was broken. They informed us that no, it was working fine and that maybe we had been posting lately about something that had gotten people really riled up. We weren't really sure what they meant. We turn on the computer; write a few posts about Radar and how Cindy Adams is senile, check our RSS feeds, answer our hatemail, and we're done. You know, the minimal. More »
eric schaeffer
Eric Schaeffer Gets A Taste of His Own Meds
Aaaand . . . it gets weirder. While we've being doing our best to avert our eyes from the endless trainwreck spooling out in slow-motion that is Eric Schaeffer's internet-documented life, someone's been doing the opposite. Meet Sandi. She's Eric Schaeffer's stalker.I admit it, I'm insane. But after I saw his movie "Fall" in 1997, I was a little obsessed with him. I thought his craziness was kind of charming. And when I read his blog, none of it really surprised me. It all seemed sort of....earnest. I liked that there was actually a guy in New York City looking for a wife. I keep getting guys who want to cheat on their girlfriends with me.Ugh, we hate that! We totally see where Sandi was coming from, and we read about her attempts to get closer to Eric with great interest. Unfortunately, though, she failed to meet choosy ol' Eric's stringent criteria. The email he sent to Sandi, rebuffing her advances, is after the jump. More »
eric schaeffer
