The passage she's chosen [very NSFW] is about a slave girl or something in a gold chain performing fellatio and waiting for milk and ohhhh God it's really wonderful/terribly disturbing. Perfect Friday fare.

Enjoy!

Vanderbilt is a famous romancer of famous men and generally could be described as "Fabbbbbbulous"—fabbbbbulous enough to write Obsession: An Erotic Tale at age 85, and make the New York Times blush:

But it nevertheless uses vocabulary and describes activities of a sort that readers of The New York Times are usually shielded from. There are scenes involving dildos, whips, silken cords and golden nipple clamps, not to mention an ebony, smooth-backed Mason Pearson hairbrush purchased at Harrods. As the book explains, spanking with a Mason-Pearson is a "serious matter," not the kind of thing that is rewarded with the "luscious afterglow of warm cocoa butter." Mint, cayenne pepper and a fresh garden carrot are deployed in the book in ways never envisioned by "The Joy of Cooking." And there is also a unicorn, though, blessedly, it remains a bystander.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Did you understand the implications of that, New York Times readers? They're saying that the unicorn's horn is not used as a dildo in this Glorida Vanderbilt book. AC seems a little sheepish but supportive, and Vanderbilt herself is incredibly blasé about the whole thing, so we must give her our hearty support and admiration for doing her thing as she wants in the face of the prim opposition of New York Times standards editors. If you know any such editors, be sure to buy them a smooth-backed hairbrush.
[NYT. Pic via]

Gloria Vanderbilt—a rich old lady, grrrr—has written a sexy smut book. Andrea Peyser is forced to quote from it extensively!

"I will begin, softly at first so that you can sleep a few more minutes, the long, slow, delicious process of licking your —--, and since I must have your honey milk . . . I will struggle to stay quiet . . . Master, I whisper as you surrender to our ecstasy."

Andrea Peyser is positively scandalized. Or not:

Sorry, son. Mommy has graduated to the full monty. But at 143 pages, "Obsession," you'll be relieved to know, is easily read with one hand.

I guess there comes a point in one's life where a dame must say, "What the hell!"

How we prayed that this day would come! Just remember Andrea, female vampires have nothing on bloggers. Call us. [NYP]

Take, for example, her three most provocative covers up to this point, 1983's Like A Virgin, 1992's Erotica, and 2005's Confessions:

We happen to think the lacy dress on Virgin is just begging to be lifted up, even if we can't even see the hem. And the close-up shot of Madonna's cherry-lined lips and false eyelashes on Erotica is somehow sexier when drawn in such exaggerated effect, like a page from Playboy coming to life. And then there's her last effort, the leotarded Confessions, which portrays her a disco-happy blonde redhead so enraptured with the music that she doesn't even have time to turn towards the camera. Judging from these three album covers alone, we think Madge is far sexier when she keeps it in her pants.

[Photo Credits: People, Absolute Madonna]

• MADONNA'S HARD CANDY ALBUM COVER REVEALED! [People]