Donald Trump Is Stoked About Brexit—On An Unrelated Note, What Is Brexit?

As Donald Trump’s plane landed in Scotland early this morning, the world had just begun to grapple with a vote that has thrown Europe into chaos, and many in the U.S. are seeing as an omen of Trump’s imminent success. And in keeping with tradition, Donald Trump seems to have no idea what any of it means.
David Cameron Resigns Following Brexit Vote
Prime Minister David Cameron, who led the failed campaign to keep the United Kingdom in the European Union, has announced that he will resign by October. His successor will have the responsibility of deciding when to authorize Article 50, initiating Britain’s departure from the EU.
Britain Votes to Leave European Union
The United Kingdom has voted to leave the European Union, shocking the country’s political establishment and sending the British pound to its lowest point since 1985, The Wall Street Journal reports.
Vulgar Voter Casts Brexit Ballot for Bell-End
According to the Daily Mail, a crude doodle was briefly the source of electoral controversy on Thursday after a voter in Britain’s EU referendum submitted a ballot featuring an erect penis.
So, How's That Count Going, Britain?
Oh, I see.
Never Mind the Ballots, Here's the Brexit Polls
The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.
A Very Short Guide to a Very Bad Idea: "Brexit"
Today is the day—the day for the “Brexit” vote that you’ve been hearing so much about, against your will. What do you, the only very vaguely interested American, need to know?
Russian State TV Caught Manufacturing Anti-Migrant Quotes from French Citizens, Admits “We Occasionally Miss Things”
Kremlin-appointed Russian media personality Dmitry Kiselyov, who once urged that the hearts of gay auto-accident victims “be either buried or burned” because they are “unsuitable” for organ donation, got called on some very creative bullshit this week.
Survivors Say Hundreds Drowned in Migrant Shipwreck off Libyan Coast
On Wednesday, the UN Refugee Agency announced that it had spoken to survivors of a maritime disaster reported earlier this week, in which as many as 500 refugees and migrants are rumored to have drowned in the Mediterranean Sea, somewhere between Libya and Italy.
Europe to Migrants: We're Full
Europe is currently struggling to manage its biggest wave of refugees since WWII. Today, a top official tells economic migrants: do not fucking come here.
European Union, Obama Announce More Economic Sanctions Against Russia
After months of hesitation, the European Union announced that it will join the United States in its economic sanctions against Russia in response to the country's support of separatists in Ukraine. President Obama also promised today expanded sanctions by the U.S. that will "have an even bigger bite."
Swiss Citizens Block Vote to Make Minimum Wage $25/Hour
Voters in Switzerland blocked a vote this afternoon that proposed instituting a countrywide minimum wage of 22 Swiss francs (roughly $25/hour) with a 76.3% majority. Switzerland currently has no minimum wage.
This Is, in Many Ways, the Wackest Nobel Peace Prize Ever
Well, oh boy, everyone turn on your televisions, they've announced the Nobel Peace Prize. Silence, please. And the winner is: "The European Union." Man, the Nobel Peace Prize has really "jumped the snark."
Anyone Want to Buy Five-Sixths of a Very Pretty Island?
After guaranteeing its banks' debts in October 2008, Ireland announced this weekend that it applied for a multibillion-Euro bailout package from the European Union and the International Monetary Fund. Don't freak out, though! The corporate tax rate won't be raised.
Eating & Drinking: Tuesday Edition
• Why isn't your glass of water getting refilled? It might be because the restaurant decided to slash costs by firing all the busboys. [WSJ]
• E.U. in the EV is no more; a trattoria is set to take its place by March. [Eater]
• Jean-Georges Vongerichten now says he won't be taking over the Ago space inside Robert De…
European regulators jump on the Google-Yahoo antitrust express
While Google and Yahoo have said that their planned search advertising agreement will only cover the United States and Canada, that hasn't stopped European Union officials from looking into the deal on behalf of the World Association of Newspapers trade group. The EU joins the United States's Department of Justice…
