Never Mind the Ballots, Here's the Brexit Polls
The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.
A Very Short Guide to a Very Bad Idea: "Brexit"
Today is the day—the day for the “Brexit” vote that you’ve been hearing so much about, against your will. What do you, the only very vaguely interested American, need to know?
Government Agencies Deny Any Knowledge of Hundreds of Refugees Reported Drowned in Mediterranean
Reports emerged Monday, citing an interview given to BBC Arabic by the Somali ambassador to Egypt, claiming that as many as 400 refugees drowned after their boats capsized between Egypt and Italy. The Greek Coast Guard and the Italian and Maltese rescue coordination centers denied any knowledge of such an incident.
Europe to Migrants: We're Full
Europe is currently struggling to manage its biggest wave of refugees since WWII. Today, a top official tells economic migrants: do not fucking come here.
Report: More Than 10,000 Child Refugees Are Missing in Europe
Europol, the European Union’s criminal intelligence agency, reports that at least 10,000 refugee children have gone missing since arriving in Europe. Brian Donald, Europol’s chief of staff, worries that an E.U.-wide “criminal infrastructure” of trafficking syndicates is targeting unaccompanied minors, the Guardian…
Austria Says It Will Put Up Fence Along Border With Slovenia to Slow Migrants
On Wednesday, the Wall Street Journal reports, Austria said that it plans to build a fence along part of its border with Slovenia, in an attempt to slow the arrival of migrants and refugees.
Greece Rejects Austerity, Votes "No" to Bailout Terms
On Sunday, Greece overwhelmingly rejected the bailout terms proposed by its European creditors, with a projected 61% of the country voting “no” to further austerity measures via a national referendum, the Associated Press reports.http://gawker.com/greece-misses-…
A new study finds that melting sea ice in the North Atlantic caused by global warming could ultimately cause Western Europe to get colder. So there will be somewhere cool to go when America becomes a sweltering hellscape.
Report: Suspected Ringleader of Belgian Terror Cell Arrested in Greece
Police in Athens have detained several people in connection with a thwarted plan to kill Belgian police officers, Reuters reports. According to a CBS News source, a man suspected of leading the group is among those being held.
A new study estimates that Europe has suffered "a decrease of 421 million individual birds" in the past 30 years.
Fireball Whiskey Recalled in Europe Over Antifreeze Ingredient
Finland, Sweden, and Norway have ordered a recall of a number of batches of Fireball, a popular cinnamon-flavored beverage that is allegedly whiskey, but not for the reason you might hope if you have discerning taste in booze.
What Should Cheese Be Called Now?
Taking a page out of the American Renaming Shit Because Your Shit Sucks Book of Pettiness, the EU has moved forward with a motion to prohibit Americans from using traditionally European names for cheeses like Parmesan, feta, and Gorgonzola. No skin off our massively engorged cheese wheel, buds.

