How to Wage a "War on Women" By Proxy, Supreme Court Edition
About two thirds into Justice Alito's opinion in Hobby Lobby came a paragraph that really stuck in my craw yesterday.
"Don't Talk To Strangers" Teaches Children The Finer Points Of Stranger Avoidance
So here's a video instructing gullible little ones to avoid talking to strangers. The message is clear: free candy does not outweigh the fact that strangers are all clearly deviant scumbags. Plus the tune's quite catchy!
Hometown Legend is an Exercise in Awfulness
In this awful movie clip, an Alabama high-school football team must win the state championship in order to save their school from closing. Their only hope? Enlist the help of Coach Schuler and his football commandments.
Get the Mom Body Of Your Dreams
Looking for a way to fill out your high-waisted, universally unflattering mom jeans? Like the idea of working out in one of Amy Adams' cast off costumes from Enchanted? Then this bizarre body sculpting routine is right up your alley.
Kathie Lee Terrifies at Home, Too
In what is ostensibly an exercise tape without any real exercise, Kathie Lee Gifford exposes her house of horrors: the baby used for weightlifting, the kitchen of oblivion, Frank the sex monster (eew!), and sundry other frights.
You Will 100% Definitely Win the Lottery By Listening to This Insane Person
You're probably tired of eating grilled raccoon and braised boot every night for dinner. Why not change your luck by winning the lottery and becoming a millionaire? Just follow this guy's instructions. Trust him, he has a mustache.
Women and Guns: A Tutorial
An intruder breaks into a woman's house; she calls for assistance. Does she have a gun? OF COURSE SHE HAS A GUN, STUPID. It's just her feeble female brain can't use it unless she's shooting it in the kitchen. HELP!
