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New York, 4:01 AM
Sun Nov 29
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #excuses more →

    The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving

    Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?

    These Are Your Excuses For Not Watching Mad Men Tonight

    Another Excuse to Pee in Shower

    Hank Paulson Is 'On Deadline,' Sure

    Olbermann Plays the Bereaved Son Card in the Richard Wolffe Fiasco

    Cokehead Excuse of the Day: 'I Kissed a Girl With Coke on Her Lips'

    John Thain and the Art of the Modern Non-Apology Apology

    Jeremy Piven Willing to Contract Any Disease That Will Get Him Off Broadway

    Meet Mercury-Poisoned Jeremy Piven's Fishy Celebrity Doctor
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TheUptightMidwesterner TheUptightMidwesterner
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    I have been blessed with a job that requires you to work at least some of the holidays.

    It is the best excuse ever and everybody thinks I am swell gal because I will always work Thanksgiving if you ask.
     Reply
    TheUptightMidwesterner was starred TheUptightMidwesterner was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    How about: My family are a bunch of psychopaths and they live an ocean away.

    Also, "I'm a lazy drunk" seems to work as well.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of SaraRueful SaraRueful
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: I dunno, I read your "worst ever" submissions and I think I'd want to go back just to see how they could top themselves.

    Then again, I'm not related to them, so it's probably much more amusing to me.
     Reply
    SaraRueful was starred SaraRueful was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    @SaraRueful:

    The thing is I'd be on edge the entire time and my step mom is a master of saying things that she knows will make people feel awful about themselves for weeks to come.

    I already see my shrink twice a week. That's enough.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of bboston88 bboston88
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: Ahh, family.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter promoted this comment bboston88 was starred bboston88 was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    @bboston88:

    I don't know how people who live in countries where alcohol is illegal deal with family events.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of bboston88 bboston88
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: Xanax?
     Reply
    bboston88 was starred bboston88 was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: that "worst ever" thread was so depressing, i stopped reading after the story about pot focaccia. Alas, I must have missed yours. Post it again (or send me a PM)! I have to read it.
     Reply
    Edited by Helio at 11/26/09 9:50 AM Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of miss_msry miss_msry
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter:

    RE: Your winning Thanksgiving Horror stories.

    After that did all your relative take taxis to you parents home?
     Reply
    miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred
    Image of miss_msry miss_msry
    11/26/09

    @[gawker.com] it was a classic like "A Christmas Story." I will be reading it every year.

    And hopefully the screenplay will be optioned in time for my grandchildren to enjoy the story.
     Reply
    Edited by miss_msry at 11/26/09 9:56 AM miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    11/26/09

    @miss_msry: sadness. the link just redirects to this page.
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    @miss_msry:

    Don't curse me! I think I may easily lose this contest to many other people!
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    @Helio: I have three entries and I worry that if I post again Gawker will think I'm being pushy. But, I think if you click on my name you can scroll through my list of comments to find them.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/26/09

    @Helio:

    [gawker.com]
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of Helio Helio
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: geez louise! Your family really puts the fun in dysfunctional, don't they? The sheer amount of collateral damage they caused is both terrifying and admirable. if the commenters could vote for best story, you would definitely get mine.

    given this history, turning into a "drunkexpatwriter" seemed like an inevitability. Where are you now, anyway?
     Reply
    Helio was starred Helio was unstarred
    Image of OrneryBabe OrneryBabe
    11/26/09

    @drunkexpatwriter: Your stories are tough to beat. I mean, a kitten head. I would be scarred for life, and possibly beyond.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter promoted this comment OrneryBabe was starred OrneryBabe was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/27/09

    @Helio: I live in Montpellier, France.

    And, yeah, my shrink said "There is a reason you put distance between yourself and your family."
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of drunkexpatwriter drunkexpatwriter
    11/27/09

    @OrneryBabe: Yeah, that was a tough night.

    The demolition derby thanksgiving was more fun, because I'd parked my car up the street.
     Reply
    drunkexpatwriter was starred drunkexpatwriter was unstarred
    Image of Conchie Birdie Conchie Birdie
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    Glad I'm reading this on the freaking plane. A little too late, I guess.
     Reply
    Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    Well, I guess there's one advantage to being Roman Polanski this time of year...
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    If they loved me, wouldn't they send me a FIRST class ticket?
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of phloxâś” phloxâś”
    11/26/09

    In reply to The Associated Press' Helpful List of Excuses For Not Visiting Your Family this Thanksgiving
    But what if my family is already here? What if they live with me?
    Now what are the options?
    Cyanide capsules?
    Fiegning mercury poisoning?

    Also, FWIW, After Turkey, 'Family-Time' Wii Bowling is the drunk, white, middle-class curse.
     Reply
    phloxâś” was starred phloxâś” was unstarred
    Image of Adrian Chen Adrian Chen
    11/26/09

    @phloxâś”: They need to make a wii game where you have to use your mouth so people can't talk and play at the same time.
     Reply
    Adrian Chen was starred Adrian Chen was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    11/26/09

    @Adrian Chen: wii quarters
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of phloxâś” phloxâś”
    11/26/09

    @Adrian Chen:
    Wii blowjobs is the obvious choice.
    Not so much w/family though.
     Reply
    phloxâś” was starred phloxâś” was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    11/26/09

    @phloxâś”: ...Let's not unnecessarily rule out options for Wii players visiting family in the Deep South.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of PandoraSpocks PandoraSpocks
    11/08/09

    In reply to These Are Your Excuses For Not Watching Mad Men Tonight
    It is completely de rigueur,
    In these times of ennui,
    To love a book or show no one knows,
    In the name or irony.

    But you kids who watch TV,
    And twitter-text, while talking on a cell,
    have the attention span of flies,
    still waiting for a school bell.

    And when the unheard of becomes popular,
    and instant gratification takes too long,
    you hate the very things whose praises you once sang.

    This show requires TOTAL attention.
    And a sense of history
    And so much more...

    Go Matt Weiner!!!! (And no, I've never even met him.) #madmen
     Reply
    PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred
    Image of ihatetwitter ihatetwitter
    09/13/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    As if being unfunny has ever been a problem for Lorne Micheaels. At some point the SNL players stopped seeing themselves as irreverent jesters and started seeing themselves as America's trusted political advisers, who also happened to be rabidly democrat. Pravda political satire. Funny as a migraine.
     Reply
    ihatetwitter was starred ihatetwitter was unstarred
    Image of RachelSklar RachelSklar
    09/13/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    Ummm, did I read this right? "Strange: Wilson's not that fat."
     Reply
    RachelSklar was starred RachelSklar was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    09/14/09

    @RachelSklar: I think it's pretty apparent that WIlson's not fat at all, and I was being cute. Ummmm you really enjoy taking the piss out of fun.
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of johnnypotatoes johnnypotatoes
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    Making sure everyone knows it's been a really long time since you watched SNL: almost as original (and fascinating!) as telling everyone you know that you don't own a television.
     Reply
    johnnypotatoes was starred johnnypotatoes was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    I'm just happy for her that she has Wilson Phillips to fall back on.
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of bettylou123 bettylou123
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    I seem to remember that Tina Fey was only a writer, and after she lost 40 pounds she was then put on camera.

    I also can't remember a female cast member being even slightly overweight. Plenty of guys, but no women.
     Reply
    kitkatsplash promoted this comment bettylou123 was starred bettylou123 was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    09/12/09

    @bettylou123: Bingo.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of SpyMagician SpyMagician
    09/12/09

    @Novaload: Go look up the PBS special on the Second City in Chicago. Tina Fey has changed a lot. I mean, so much so that when it came time to get rid of someone on 30 Rock who gets kicked to the curb? Her friend Rachel Dratch who was replaced with the more "telegenic" Jane Krakowski.

    Folks, comedy is not pretty if you’re a lady and not traditionally pretty.
     Reply
    SpyMagician was starred SpyMagician was unstarred
    Image of mrs_hevesi mrs_hevesi
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    you might want to look up the word "deign." just being helpful!
     Reply
    mrs_hevesi was starred mrs_hevesi was unstarred
    Image of valet_of_the_dolls valet_of_the_dolls
    09/12/09

    @mrs_hevesi: Hearted.
     Reply
    valet_of_the_dolls was starred valet_of_the_dolls was unstarred
    Image of Mymoustache Mymoustache
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    I disagree with the part that she was fired for being patently unfunny... take Kenan Thompson...i'm serious, take that guy off the show...he sucks...
     Reply
    kitkatsplash promoted this comment Mymoustache was starred Mymoustache was unstarred
    Image of kitkatsplash kitkatsplash
    09/12/09

    @Mymoustache: agreed! He was so much better on Keenan and Kel!
     Reply
    kitkatsplash was starred kitkatsplash was unstarred
    Image of pssshwhatever pssshwhatever
    09/12/09

    In reply to Was SNL's Casey Wilson Fired Because Of A Fat-Hating Lorne Michaels?
    Is it just me, or is Casey Wilson really fucking cute anyway? I think she is, so this is causing a bit of cognitive dissonance for me.
     Reply
    jasonelias promoted this comment pssshwhatever was starred pssshwhatever was unstarred
    Image of jasonelias jasonelias
    09/12/09

    @pssshwhatever: It's not just you, I think she's very cute.
     Reply
    jasonelias was starred jasonelias was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    09/12/09

    @pssshwhatever: I think she's absolutely smoking, to the point where I would watch her do almost anything -- short of appearing on that awful Trump show, perhaps (is that still on?).

    Clearly I understand nothing about the television industry.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 09/12/09 5:38 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of RevWaldo RevWaldo
    09/12/09

    @jasonelias: Ditto - she is (was) the hottest girl on the show.

    They need a fat girl on the show! (Bigger than Casey, she's simply curvy.) This whole "we'll just put the fat guy in a dress - it makes fun of fat girls implicitly and a guy in a dress is always funny!" shit always pissed me off.
     Reply
    hellosunshine promoted this comment RevWaldo was starred RevWaldo was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    09/13/09

    @RevWaldo: Lori Beth Denberg is probably free.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of RevWaldo RevWaldo
    09/13/09

    @hellosunshine: Hells yes! Where is she now?
     Reply
    RevWaldo was starred RevWaldo was unstarred
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