Last week, we learned that sextastic clothing line American Apparel hires and fires employees based on photos, and we shared internal documents detailing their No Uglies Allowed policies. Today, we bring you AA Grooming Standards—male and female.

"Slanties": stupid hipster joke, or racist hipster serious business idea? Either way, we never thought we'd see something that would make us long for the days of cash fans and shutter shades: