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New York, 2:26 PM
Wed Nov 25
49 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #fameballs more →

    Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of MessiahsHandle MessiahsHandle
    11/19/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Where is said contract? On the inside of Gosselin's Yearbook?

    P.S. Homeroom with you rocked!!!...K.I.T...L.Y.L.A.S
     Reply
    MessiahsHandle was starred MessiahsHandle was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Looks like I might have to seriously re-think my assistant's job description... where did I put my crayons?
     Reply
    KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Hmmm -- if you look at who wrote what, it certainly appears there was some pressure being applied, and I don't mean that he was pressuring her into bed.

    It looks like she was threatening to go to the media unless he "hired" her as an assistant.

    Her part is all -- "I promise not to do this thing that you don't want me to do," and his is all -- "okay then, I will do this little bit of what you want me to do, but not all of it and you are not entitled to any extras, so just remember that."

    Pathetic. He can't say no.

    Also, a cursory and ill-informed reading of their signatures looks like this:

    Jon Gosselin = beseaching, love seeking, self-conscious with low self-esteem (letters lean forward and cross back over themselves)

    Kate Major = withholding, signifying, blank and underdeveloped personality (most letters neither lean forward or back, some point slightly one way or the other, fully legible)
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    This contract was consummated with a My Little Pony collection and a hacky-sack.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    11/18/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Over grape Juicy-Juice.
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Wait, who the fuck is Kate Major? I'm so confused now.
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    11/18/09

    @katekate is squared: the tabloid reporter who says they had an affair after he separated from the other kate.

    Ummm, now that I think about it katekate, I think you may want to steer clear of NY or PA for awhile. He seems to have a thing...
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    11/18/09

    @themediatrix: Also, avoid the Ed Hardy section at Macy's.
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of sarahsmile sarahsmile
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    If you liked it, then you should have put a contract of dubious origin on it.
     Reply
    Sergio Hernandez promoted this comment sarahsmile was starred sarahsmile was unstarred
    Image of m4ximusprim3 m4ximusprim3
    11/18/09

    @sarahsmile: oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh....
     Reply
    m4ximusprim3 was starred m4ximusprim3 was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    That scratched-out part by John after "Kate Major"?

    "who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch,"
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/18/09

    @BookishLookish: or (I can't believe I get these girls to fuck me).
     Reply
    Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Contracts between minors aren't legally enforceable.
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/18/09

    @Lymed: But what if one's a Major?
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    11/18/09

    @beercheck: A Major Major or a Major Minor?
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/18/09

    @Lymed: chuckling too hard to type. Uncle!
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of econdave econdave
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Not even close to Justin Verlander and the $3,000 chocolate milk.

    [seattletimes.nwsource.com]
     Reply
    econdave was starred econdave was unstarred
    Image of PamBeesley PamBeesley
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    I notorized it with the bottom of a Amstel Light bottle and some marinara sauce. It's legit.
     Reply
    kimsama promoted this comment PamBeesley was starred PamBeesley was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/18/09

    @PamBeesley: I would have gone with the bottom of a shot glass and some spilled Jager, but good call.
     Reply
    Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of HenryLovesFonzie HenryLovesFonzie
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    "Baby, I love you and you know I trust you... But I'm not having sex with you again unless you put it in wriiiting!! It's important to me and if you're really serious you'll write it, sign it and date it. I'll even put a part in there about how I won't talk about our relationship to anyone other than my mom."
     Reply
    HenryLovesFonzie was starred HenryLovesFonzie was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    This gave me smiles. If this was a t-shirt, I would wear it.
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    11/18/09

    @misslinda: Girl, that's a moneymaker. Get on it!
     Reply
    Edited by BookishLookish at 11/18/09 11:39 AM BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    11/18/09

    @BookishLookish: Agreed!
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    If I recall correctly, signatories to the Treaty of Versailles used Magic Markers.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    11/18/09

    @AzureTexan: From what I understand, the Treaty of Ghent was written on Hello Kitty stationery.
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of Dr. Nick Dr. Nick
    11/18/09

    @DennyCrane: Martin Luther reportedly wrote his ninety-five theses in a mixture of tartar sauce and bean dip.
     Reply
    DennyCrane promoted this comment Dr. Nick was starred Dr. Nick was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/18/09

    @DennyCrane: Needless to say, the "i's" were dotted with hearts.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    11/18/09

    @Dr. Nick: Those were the tastiest theological concepts I ever debated!
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/18/09

    @Dr. Nick: I had a history professor in college who said, " Luther nailed the 95 theses to the door of Castle Church in Wittenberg..." and the class gasped. His response:

    "Look, I said theses, not feces. Though I suppose that really would have been something to see..."
     Reply
    Edited by Juancho at 11/18/09 11:51 AM Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of johnny_carsick johnny_carsick
    11/18/09

    @Dr. Nick: In an ironic twist, the Concordat of Bologna was initially written on prosciutto.
     Reply
    Edited by johnny_carsick at 11/18/09 12:15 PM johnny_carsick was starred johnny_carsick was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    11/18/09

    @AzureTexan: I thought it was Cray-pas. The more you know....
     Reply
    momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    He clearly needs the advice of an older and wiser pub crawler regarding the usefulness of promises written on beverage napkins.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of Sergio Hernandez Sergio Hernandez
    11/18/09

    @Mike Jahn: I thought he already enlisted Shmuley Boteach's help?
     Reply
    Sergio Hernandez was starred Sergio Hernandez was unstarred
    Image of Wasp vs Stryper Wasp vs Stryper
    11/18/09

    @Mike Jahn: Haha! Yes Jon is a sophisticated, worldy kind of guy and a master at public perception. He joined forces with Christian Audigier for branding opportunities, asked Michael Lohan to be his mentor, was introduced to NY society by Jill Zarin and hired a Star Magazine staffer to be his assistant, mouthpiece and girlfriend. Howard Rubenstein & Ken Sunshine must be feeling so threatened right now.
     Reply
    themediatrix promoted this comment Wasp vs Stryper was starred Wasp vs Stryper was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    11/18/09

    In reply to Scrawled, Childish 'Contract' Perfectly Captures Jon Gosselin and Kate Major's Fairy Tale Romance
    Love Is ...
    ... calling your girlfriend a "sub-contractor."
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of Bunsy Bunsy
    11/18/09

    @DennyCrane: LOL
     Reply
    Bunsy was starred Bunsy was unstarred
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