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New York, 3:52 PM
Mon Dec 14
33 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Wrapitup Wrapitup
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Nobody fucks with the HamNo.
     Reply
    Wrapitup was starred Wrapitup was unstarred
    Image of sfBirdie sfBirdie
    12/07/09

    @Wrapitup: Also, would he expect anything less than a "God damn" from him? That's HamNo being polite, God dammit.
     Reply
    sfBirdie was starred sfBirdie was unstarred
    Image of Penscribe Penscribe
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Why are we addressing Boulton's addictions and/or marital woes?
     Reply
    Penscribe was starred Penscribe was unstarred
    Image of cpjones cpjones
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    I can practically hear the violin playing as Neal is typing this crap.
     Reply
    cpjones was starred cpjones was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    I don't think you get paid until the Ninth Step. At least that's when I got re-paid once.
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of Mrs. Beeton Mrs. Beeton
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    That's not how you spell Neil!
     Reply
    Mrs. Beeton was starred Mrs. Beeton was unstarred
    Image of Perhaps Not Perhaps Not
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Er... why did you commission the story without a freelance budget, Neal?

    And Hamilton, I envy you for only ever having been ripped off by one editor.
     Reply
    Perhaps Not was starred Perhaps Not was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Don't short the paper boy. Nuff said.

    (Dudes, there are like 4 clips of this epic. I didn't know which was funnier.)
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Image of DennyCrane DennyCrane
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    You are meaningless and useless, Neal, but when Hamilton writes about you, you certainly aren't boring. But, hey, two out of three ain't bad.
     Reply
    DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    I don't think it's a good idea to make fun of an addict's addiction, unless said addict is also a deadbeat man-whore who likes cute blond boys. Then all bets are off.
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Beau Nerd Beau Nerd
    12/07/09

    @BettyCrocker: *heads for the hills*
     Reply
    Beau Nerd was starred Beau Nerd was unstarred
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Man, how can you ever think that it's a good idea to ask a gossip site to "Please stop being mean to me"?
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of Go Like Hell Machine Go Like Hell Machine
    12/07/09

    @braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.: That's like telling the bully, "Please stop punching me, I have asthma and bruise easily!"
     Reply
    Go Like Hell Machine was starred Go Like Hell Machine was unstarred
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    12/07/09

    @Go Like Hell Machine: I know, right? Or the zebra saying, "Hey, you don't want to eat me; I'm delicious and have a gimpy leg."
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of manchops manchops
    12/07/09

    @braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.: and my favorite part of this logic is that by switching writers, everything written on gawker about this guy will be so much more positive.

    Like gawker's mission is to post nice sweet puff pieces about people. BWAA HAAA!
     Reply
    manchops was starred manchops was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    Hopefully Hams will take this as a greenlight to gleefully double his coverage of this skeeve. If he wanted to do the right thing he'd have gone ahead and paid Hamilton himself, whether HE got paid or not. Maybe he's so busy spending his money on cute blond boys he can't afford to settle legitimate overdue debts now?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Swifter Swifter
    12/07/09

    In reply to Neal Boulton: 'I Am Boring, and Meaningless, and Frankly Useless'
    "Never pick a fight with someone who buys bandwidth by the terabyte."
     Reply
    Swifter was starred Swifter was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    12/07/09

    @Swifter: Ha!
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of homoviper homoviper
    12/02/09

    In reply to 'Sex Is Life. Professional Pornography Is Just Capitalism.'
    Blech. Mehmehmeh I love women. Yeah good for you. So become an amateur pornographer if pro porn is so evil and capitalistic, but stop trying to dress up what gets you hot as something high brow/arty/etc. You're not photographing with your whole self. You're photographing with your cock (how does he press the shutter?) and talking in circles until people buy that there's something more to it.
     Reply
    homoviper was starred homoviper was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/02/09

    In reply to 'Sex Is Life. Professional Pornography Is Just Capitalism.'
    I attended the opening myself, feeling decidedly shabby in the face of so much careless display of herringbone tweed and quilted jackets: the gallery was packed to F Train levels. People outside coughed discreetly behind clouds of clove-scented smog and made small-to-microscopic talk. Ten minutes after entering, I noticed a tall comely-looking chap wearing a hat made out of a mastodon’s navel who was the only person in the gallery other than myself who was actually looking at the pictures (or those fragments that could be glimpsed behind the guests). Mr. Somaiya, I presume, as everyone else was discussing silk mixes and finger-fucking.

    I will make a gross generalization and say that I was probably the only person at the gallery, not counting the staff, who had any professional connection to the art world. In fact, I AM counting the gallery staff. Nothing personal and I’m sure they’re all sweeties, but Half Gallery is an art gallery the way the way James Frey is a novelist or Olivier Zahm is an artist or the hideously decorated lounge down the street where the bill for a jalapeño martini came to $35 is a bar. Short version—they’re not. (The longer version has to do with pornographic simulacra, and it’s just too early in the morning, kids.)

    But surely there is something to the pictures as pictures? Let’s see. Naked female bodies on glossy antique furniture in underlit or unlit but luxurious spaces, the bodies splayed, prone, leaping, the faces either obscured or out of the shot altogether, one girl, shot from the waist-down, squatting to pee into what looked like a highball glass. Zahm may take a photograph with his whole self, but he denies his subjects theirs.

    This type of thing was last shocking…actually, to a certain class of people, this was never shocking. Think Warhol, think the Surrealists, think Zola, think Beardsley, think Courbet’s "Origin of the World," hell, think The Venus of Urbino, or Bronzino’s less well-known but fascinating nude portrait of Cosimo I de’Medici, an upright musical instrument in Cosimo’s hand taking the place of an erect penis.

    These are ostensibly pictures of sex, but they are also pictures of class—the bohemian ultra-rich (and their hangers-on) for whom limits are there to be transgressed. None of the young ladies I saw in Zahm’s pictures are recognizable—so their collusion with his art costs them nothing. It’s a rumor, an intrigue, a liaison sans danger. Tee-hee-hee, I peed in Daddy’s highball glass—hush! Nanny mustn’t know! Note Zahm’s refusal to share his porno sites with Somaiya—for someone who claims that sex is life, he’s eager to brandish a closed door in another man’s face.

    To put it bluntly, Stipe had the right idea. These are pictures that those who want to be seen are desperate to be seen not looking at. Blasé is the new dandyism.

    By the way--hi James! Hope your shiny little toy make-believe gallery churns along and gives you some hot downtown cred! Personally I think this as likely as the reemergence of the whalebone bustle. But whatever floats your flab.
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 12/02/09 9:46 AM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    12/02/09

    @RollsRoyceRevenge: heart heart heart
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: And even more hearts.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: Agreed. And this is why I hate Williamsburg... I moved out here--naiively--thinking that I would learn something. But it's about people who inject money like heroine, and smother my eager heart in ash with their snide and willful ignorance. There's no sophistication out here. There are people too cool to be sophisticated. It's a 24-7 game of poker, and if anyone knows what hand you're holding, you're out.
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of musicmope musicmope
    12/02/09

    @RollsRoyceRevenge: Somebody give this man a job.
     Reply
    musicmope was starred musicmope was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    12/02/09

    @pureblarney: Get the fuck out of W'burg if you want to make art. Move to Sunnyside, or Jersey City, or Mott Haven and get out with the people. W'burg will suck the very goodness from your marrow, honey.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: Lol! I'm not an artist. Please don't think that of me. (I'm an elementary school teacher.) And--thank god--to be fair, I don't live in the hole of the 'Burg proper, but rather, on its less harrowing outer edges, away from the hypocrisy and the herpes and the coke-bearing Gavins, who make me dream of pinning their eyelids open and forcing them to watch Love Actually and Lord of the Rings and Yellow Submarine until the TOTAL HELL OMGz of popular culture sends them crying back to Indiana and South Dakota, or wherever their kind are begat.
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: I see no reason why good art could not be made in Williamsburg or by rich people. It's exactly the "with the people" bullshit that has led to spending insane amounts of money to look like you never wash your hair being equated with authenticity.
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    12/02/09

    @RollsRoyceRevenge: I have nothing against rich people, Roy, and some of them are very, very good artists. Getting the hell away from hipsters making bad art was my suggestion.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: True enough. BTW I prefer to be known as "Rollie."
     Reply
    RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
    Image of BookishLatkeish BookishLatkeish
    12/02/09

    @RollsRoyceRevenge: I kind of think of you this way, actually. Though you already have your star, babe.
     Reply
    BookishLatkeish was starred BookishLatkeish was unstarred
    Image of RollsRoyceRevenge RollsRoyceRevenge
    12/02/09

    @BookishLookish: Alas, this is closer to the mark.

    Me being the Rolls Royce outside.
     Reply
    Edited by RollsRoyceRevenge at 12/02/09 12:21 PM RollsRoyceRevenge was starred RollsRoyceRevenge was unstarred
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