The generational and cross-cultural refractions obscuring exactly what a T-shirt depicting Obama as a Chairman Mao is supposed to mean are positively cosmic. So the Chinese authorities decided to just ban the things outright. And they're taking this so seriously that security guards at a subway station, apparently aware of how Glenn Beck would use pictures of young Chinese people wearing T-shirts comparing our president to their great leader, detained a CNN reporter for two hours yesterday after she tried to tape a report about the banned T-shirts.

In China, according to the Christian Science Monitor, the shirts are popular with hipsters who get the joke of comparing Obama to Mao, and apparently like to mock Fox News:

In China, the image comes across as witty and cool.... [They are] popular with young people who admire Obama and who get the Andy Warhol-esque joke about icons.

"Mao is kitschy and cool," says Mr. Jenne. "He gets a pass" in a way that other 20th century dictators don't.

But in the U.S., some folks are importing them from China and selling them to the teabag crowd, who wear them to announce their genuinely held belief that Barack Obama is literally like Mao Tse-Tung and will soon begin collectivizing farms. So a shirt that Chinese kids wear ironically because they understand a) how silly it is to compare Obama to Mao, but at the same time b) how Obama has through his style and rhetoric become nearly as iconic as Mao, and c) that even though Mao was a monster, through the passage of time the imagery associated with him has taken on a different, more light-hearted meaning, is also worn in earnest by American teabaggers who understand none of the above and think "kitschy" is Hebrew or something. This reminds us of stories about Christmas displays at Japanese malls featuring crucified Santas. We can't quite wrap our heads around it.

Anyway, the Chinese government was so terrified Politico might see one of these T-shirts that they banned them, and detained CNN's Emily Chang for two hours when they caught her walking around with one in a Shanghai mall. How long before the same thing happens here?

At a Time Magazine panel last night designed to hype speculation over who the stupid "Person of the Year" will be, two distinct, stupid favorites emerged: Twitter, and The Economy. Neither of which is a person. Christ. Even "You" was technically a person, despite being the stupidest choice ever. How about "Americans Who Are Getting Stupider," as a dark horse candidate?


It looks like money issues could finally force Hugh Hefner to sell Playboy. The company's stock went erect yesterday amid reports that it's in discussions with Iconix, which specializes in turning around brands that have fallen off. If you listen to wild blogosphere estimates, Playboy is now worth significantly less than Gawker Media. That's when all the models disappear.


Optimistic words are flowing forth from the mouths of fashion magazine executives! Conde Nast's Tom Florio says Vogue's profits will double next year! Other fashion mag publishers are equally gung-ho about next year! That's the benefit of getting to compare your profits to the worst year ever, in history. They will be better than that.


CNN had been pouring lots and lots of greenback$$$ into producing an entire online-only, all-day newscast on its website, for some reason. Now they're laying off four of their online anchors and cutting way back on that whole project, because they remembered, hey, we have a whole channel on TV, already. Always thinking!

Johns Hopkins photographer Will Shepherdson, who shoots for the News-Letter student newspaper, sent us the above and below pics from the set of the forthcoming Facebook movie (click to enlarge). In the Aaron Sorkin-written film, co-founder and CEO Zuckerberg, played by Jesse Eisenberg, sports such diverse outfits as a light grey Gap hoodie and the darker, logo-less gray hoodie below, also seen in earlier pictures of the filming.

When Eisenberg has his hoodie up and on his head, we'll know that's the scene where he's breaking into the dorm to steal student data while a couple makes out on the sofa.

(Pics: Will Shepherdson/Johns Hopkins News-Letter)

The Wall Street Journal finds out that, though everyone makes nice and pretends that bamboo is good for the planet as well as being soft and nice and healthy, it is basically the same as rayon. The Federal Trade Commission is close to settling cases it brought against manufacturers:

The companies had used language such as "natural," "biodegradable," and "antimicrobial." But bamboo fabric isn't natural, the FTC said, since it's a textile developed by chemists. The agency also said the biodegradable and antimicrobial qualities of the plant don't survive the manufacturing process.

Oh, and it also sucks as a material. Hand me my viscose shirt please.

Not only are men scooping up old-timey hunting and fishing wear—even bowlers!—but women are doing everything short of dusting off their whale bone corsets to get into the 19th century mode. Ye Olde Times:

This flamboyance is part of a curious new movement called Tweed Rides, informal gatherings of spiffily dressed ladies and gents cycling leisurely through town and disdaining finish lines. Tweed Rides began in London earlier this year and have spread this fall to Boston, San Francisco and Chicago. As the directions for this weekend's Tweed Ride in Washington, D.C., put it: "Leave the fleece, Lycra and outer shell at home. This ride is for the dandy.

First one to spot a monocle this winter wins $100.

Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High! Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High! Dow Jones Hits 52-Week High!

We just thought that deserved announcing.

Now, on to frugality! America's favorite thing! The WSJ tells us that frugality is not just some passing "fad," you stupid, stupid fools. It's here to stay. If I ever see another American buy toilet paper or dog food in anything less than a 50-pound pallet, for frugality's sake, I will smack myself right across the face and look around for the god damn Candid Camera. It simply is not happening, friends.

Frugality means saving money, and saving money means having money. And once you've poured all you can into the vertical roller coaster ride that is the stock market, what is there to do with that money? That's right, you can use it to order yourself a rotating cast of haute couture items from a Netflix-like service, proving you are both stylish and frugal, and therefore fit to run for Congress.

Or you could buy Cadbury. Just don't be profligate.

Wall Street! Ride that pony!

Whenever the New York Times writes equations with words, I always tend to over-think the answer. Like this Styles Section lede:

By now, most high school dress codes have just about done away with the guesswork. Girls: no midriff-baring blouses, stiletto heels, miniskirts. Boys: no sagging pants, muscle shirts. But do the math.

"Rules" + "teenager" = "challenges."

I checked in the back of the book and that's not exactly the answer, but Jan Hoffman's story in today's Times does come pretty close! It looks at teenagers who—for any multitude of reasons including sexual identity and the simple sartorial—can't wear exactly what they want to school because The Man's coming down on them. Why? Because Jimmy looks better in that shade of rouge than Jimmy's teacher does.

"It's hard enough to get kids to concentrate on an algorithm - even without Jimmy sitting there in lipstick and fake eyelashes," said Kay Hymowitz, a senior fellow at the Manhattan Institute.

Okay, not just that. Issues of girls having wanting to wear tuxedos in their Senior Portraits are studied, progressive parents who try to help people understand and assist the cause of their kids' expression are discussed, and even, yes, emo (or "emo") kids get the once-over:

In recent years, "emo" style has moved from punk fringe almost to pop mainstream, with boys wearing heavy eyeliner, body-hugging T-shirts and floppy hair dyed black, to emulate singers like Adam Lambert and Pete Wentz. "The emo kids get a lot of grief," said Marty Hulsey, a guidance counselor at a school near Auburn, Ala. "Even teachers say things and I had to stop it. One child came to me who was an emo kid and said he was accused of being gay but that he had a girlfriend."

The only consolation that kid has, besides his counselor telling him he's fine, and to go off, wearing his clothing, is that (A) Pete Wentz still has to deal with the same thing and (B) this has been going on in smaller numbers without an acceptance movement for the last 15 years. What's the teacher do after that, though?

But really, this is a pretty solid Styles story that covers most bases, and doesn't attempt easy answers. After all, the "self-expression needs to be limited to what doesn't distract other students" party line will only carry this issue so far. Kids are assholes, and everything distracts them, but can you enforce tolerance? Then again, what do you do about this?

...Safety is a critical concern. In February 2008, Lawrence King, an eighth-grader from Oxnard, Calif., who occasionally wore high-heeled boots and makeup, was shot to death in class by another student.

The only point Hoffman failed to touch upon—and really, this isn't for most Times stories, anyway—is that most people don't look back on high school and see the best days of their life. Being a teenager absolutely sucks, often. How can parents answer for that kind of thing?

And teenagers are going to be insane hormonal assholes who also happen to be in their own coming-of-age stories no matter what, is the issue. Blurry lines between rebellion, expression, and the ability to shape positive character can't be restricted by doing away with Fall Out Boy and installing dress codes, can it?

Probably not, but Fall Out Boy? Really? Eh. The kids, they're never understood. They probably never will be. In other news, good luck with your child rearing.

Disregarding the warnings of everyone from male fashion designers to male bloggers, a certain portion of American women every day force themselves into "Spanx," only to be faced with embarrassing situations like needing to pee, or wanting to get naked, and then having no choice but to duck into some nearby restroom like Clark Kent for the purpose not of donning a superhero outfit and rescuing helpless civilians from criminal forces, but for the purpose of unburdening themselves of the tight-fitting "Spanx" unobserved by anyone who might consider such a display to be awkward or, indeed, unattractive.

Furthermore, thanks to the vagaries of our capitalist system, various competitors who have observed the popularity of "Spanx" undergarments are now creating their own variation of the "Spanx" formula, namely, spandex tubes into which women are expected to climb, in order to appear very tightly constrained throughout the midsection, in what could be termed an outright deception, not to mention an unhealthy constriction of one's bodily vital fluids' ability to flow freely betwixt and between whichever organs our subconscious brain deems necessary and appropriate, based on its millenia of evolution.

We do not need "Spanx" in snakeskin prints. We do not need "Spanx" in new hues and tints. We do not need "Spanx" for wedding nor ball. We do not need "Spanx" at all.

The NYP reports today that Ecko's finally lost control of his own brand. He was forced to sell off a controlling stake in Ecko, middle America's most familiar hip-pop fashion line in order to raise cash to pay off creditors. It'll help the feeble brand hobble on, but it won't be his.

This really makes his decision to build himself a 280,000 square foot office with an in-house basketball court and spend 750k on a souvenir baseball and live in a huge Italian villa-style Jersey mansion appear a bit financially imprudent. But none of that was as bad as his decision to take what was once an actual cool, credible hip hop clothing brand (I remember when it was "ECHO" with an "H," yo), and turn it into something that took up entire Kids' sections in middle American malls.

Now you know, Marc: That's impossible. And you lost all your money doing it. If Marc Ecko can teach us anything, it is "Don't be wack on purpose." Also, "Putting out more varieties of something wack just leaves you with a multitude of wack things."

We'll think of some more.

According to Business Insider, "Curtains" is what AskMen.com has dubbed Crowley's old hairstyle (pictured) after stumbling upon it on Flickr, apparently without knowing he was the founder of foursquare, the iPhone social software maker. In an article titled "Hairstyles Women Hate," the men's portal called the cut "a look that's too boyish once you've reached manhood." Fair enough, but Crowley, 33, took the picture when he was a high school senior — you should see the other one — and these days goes with a different look, when he's not keeping his hair buried under hats:

Besides, thanks to Crowley's own software, which helps you summon friends to the local bar, we're sure there will soon be far more embarrassing shots of Crowley floating around out there, if there aren't already.

(Top pic: Dennis Crowley; Bottom pics by See-ming Lee and Scott Beale)

Though I once swore I would never do such a thing, I'm about to move to Williamsburg. It's tragic, yes, but I have no choice: relationships do that to you.

Anyway, it was once cool to hate on all of the upper-class lowlifes who populate the area and appropriated white trash style, but that set has been neutralized by babies and real jobs. But, sadly, there's a new crop. And they're even worse!

Now that that generation has grown up and many of us thought — or hoped — that the hipster nightmare had ended, but that was simply naive. There's now a new generation of post-grad masses and, if you can believe it, they're sporting something even more disgusting than von Dutch fashions: a rattail. (And, yes, even its spelling's annoying.)

Once the hairstyle of choice for rednecks and unwashed losers, the rattail has found new life in New York City's cheaper boroughs. And it must stop! Rattails are a threat to America — and not just for the negative aesthetic value.

This nation, however maligned, remains an international beacon, and it's up to the country's youth to maintain the world's US-loving order. Rattails do no such thing. They make the country look weak and hickish. And weak, hickish countries get invaded. Just look at Iraq.

So, if America falls, it's your fault, bedraggled, so-called ironic hipster. If you ever cared about this once great nation, get a real haircut and stop embarrassing your parents – and the rest of us. If you hate this country, carry on and trust that we will file well-deserved treason charges. You've been warned.

Image via woodsm's flickr.

MP Valerie Boyer and 50 other lawmakers this week introduced a bill that would require "digitally enhanced" images to come complete with the following warning: "Retouched photograph aimed at changing a person's physical appearance." Explained Boyer:

These photos can lead people to believe in a reality that does not actually exist, and have a detrimental effect on adolescents. Many young people, particularly girls, do not know the difference between the virtual and reality, and can develop complexes from a very young age.

Everyone's then dragged into an ugly, puke-scented world of binging and purging. It's not good.

If this law passes, a failure to warn consumers could come with a $54,930 fine or half the advertisement's price. And, because reality can be bent in other ways, the MPs want the law to cover political campaigns, as well.

We wonder how President Nicolas Sarkozy will feel about all of this. Paris Match recently airbrushed his tummy to hide the flab he revealed on a canoe trip. Because no one, especially Paris Match, wants to see a President's spare tire.

But, another question here is whether people really want to see realistic models? Probably not, but that doesn't mean they want to see emaciated waifs, either. So, in the end, this is a good move, however melodramatic. But how would the law be monitored? Literal fashion police?

Also, what of celebrity endorsements? Can you imagine if they didn't airbrush Madonna's Louis Vuitton ads? It would be a nightmare.

But the internet has not completely usurped the retailing of poor body images to teenaged girls; the chair of the eating disorders section of the Royal College of Psychiatrists told Reuters, "the catwalks of international fashion events such as London Fashion Week can act as a showcase for underweight women" too. Economic problems or not, you're still in the game, old-school fashion industry.

(Pic: London Fashion Week 2009, Getty.)