Gawker
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advertising
Burger King Will Regret Posing Hindu Goddess on Ham Sandwich
Burger King is constantly getting tons of free publicity for its outrageous offensive (and wacky!) ads, which it sometimes apologizes for afterward. Could this be a purposeful strategy? Of course! But now they're fucking with the goddess Lakshmi. Bad move. More »
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36
Comment by aMagnificentBasterd: All Hindus are vegetarians? Who the hell is serving me the Pork Vindaloo? 7 Responses | Other threads
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champions
Marijuana Smoker Lands Fast Food Job
While you were all just hanging out last weekend swimming in a pool and smoking weed, Michael Phelps was being quietly reintroduced as a pitchman for Subway. More »
4,968
Comment by ithabeleng metesunyane: Jared (the guy who lost all the weight who is in all the Subway commercials) looks like he has put... 4 Responses | Other threads
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marketing
Teens Flock to Denny's for Inexplicable Dork Band Promotion
Hey, kids: We've noticed you all aren't hanging out at Denny's all night as much as you used to. Denny's wants you back, teenage vagrants! Come meet your "cool" bands, at Denny's! Like Rascal Flatts. You kids like that, eh?? More »
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Comment by Richard Lawson: Who Will Save Your Fillet of Sole? Foolish Game Hens? These Hams? 24 Responses | Other threads
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America the dumb
All Food Ads Now Hardcore Porn
Burger King is selling sandwiches with blowjobs. Various female sex symbols orgasmically consume burgers in TV ads. What next? Hardee's asks you to "Name our Holes." Hardee's executives love to fuck biscuit dough. More »
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Comment by Martiniman: Enough already, what we really want is the Wendy and the King sex tape to be released! Don't worry she's... 11 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
World's Cleverest Ad Campaign Is Big Failure
Sometimes a worthless "consumer" will see some very strategic high-concept ad that involves, say, a subservient chicken, and innocently ask, "How does that sell burgers?" And then the creative ad execs will chuckle at this un-strategic dunce, their target audience. More »
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Comment by Wrapitup: The very thought of waking up suddenly in the middle of the night to see a guy next to me,... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Yuppie Wars
McDonald's Sucks Starbucks' Lifeblood
McDonald's is trying to take advantage of the recession to crush Starbucks by flooding America with cheap, faux-fancy McCafé coffeé. Despité the nation's most annoyingé ad campaigné, McD's is winning the battle for the (formerly) yuppié soul: More »
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Comment by Stacy Davis: I've had three friends laid off from Starbucks in the last couple months. In Seattle they are a major employer,... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Shiny plastic amusements
God Damn Tourists Love God Damn Billboard
Patriotic McDonald's helps us win the Revolutionary War by installing a billboard in London's Picadilly Circus that no fucking tourist can resist posing in front of for inane pictures, which just makes you want to assault them. If this were in Times Square there would be tourist murders daily. [Adfreak]
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Comment by BookishLookish: Mr. Bookish L. calls these the "woo people," because they are always yelling woo! when they are having their fun. I... 7 Responses | Other threads
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product placement
NBC's Chuck Exists Only to Sell Subway Sandwiches
Last month NBC's Chuck had that Subway sandwich product placement that was so laughably flagrant we thought, "This will surely hurt the credibility of NBC's 'Chuck!'" How young and naive we were. Turns out that that Subway deal is literally the only reason that Chuck still exists: More » -
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no
Quizno's: Taste the Poop
Yes, Quizno's Submarine Sandwich Shoppe is run by oven-lusting sex pervs, but guess what, Quizno's: you have crossed the line by allowing 2 Girls, 1 Cup to be associated with your sandwiches. Think, you fools. More »
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Comment by MizValentine: That's pretty bad, but I do give Quiznos props for the ad where the sandwich machine says, "Put it in... 3 Responses | Other threads
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By PareeneComment by Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: Well the problem is, this is a picture menu. What we need is a picture translation of calories per dollar,... 4 Responses | Other threads
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disasters
Oprah Must Calm America's Furious Chicken Riots
The breadth of Oprah's Free KFC Giveaway Disaster yesterday is just starting to become clear. Reports now indicate that the desperate—and dangerous—Oprah-induced public rush for free chicken and biscuits was a nationwide phenomenon: More »
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Comment by naugahydeinplainsight: Sounds like they tried to wing it, but couldn't keep demand cooped up, hen or now. So rather than KFC... 31 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
McD's, Starbucks, and the Battle for the Yuppie Soul
Are you overwhelmed today by the sheer force of the $100 million "marketing blitz" for McDonald's McCafé, the "mother of all campaigns" that's "impossible to escape"? Dié Starbucks! Drink McDonald's Coffeé Or Elsé! More »
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Comment by Private Hangnail: Could the recently impoverished Starbucks client bring a gently used Venti cup to McDonald's and request a McLatté be extruded... 6 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
The Rappin' Pasta That Stole America's Innocence
America's going wild for Domino's new $5.99 Bread Bowl Pasta (Mmm!), so now's a great time to recall the story of Domino's poor "Pasta Dude": the anthropomorphic penne that was too hot for TV: More »
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Comment by El_Gato: Bread Bowl Pasta sounds unbelievably disgusting. There must be a few billion calories in each one of those things. In... 5 Responses | Other threads
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product placement
Desperate Chuck Fans in Futile Sandwich Frenzy
NBC went and sold the most blatant product placement in TV history in its show Chuck, and what do you know, it worked! Not for Chuck; that shit is getting canceled. But for Subway, yes! More » -
product placement
NBC Sells Its Nonexistent Soul For a $5 Subway Sandwich
NBC has shockingly ruined the integrity of its dramatic show Chuck by allowing Subway what is perhaps the most blatant (and therefore laughable!) product placement in network TV history. Mmm, smell that chicken teriyaki. More » -
advertising
Sir Mix-a-Lot Teaches Kids About Big Butts, Burgers
If you watched the basketball game last nightthen you're not reading this site, you probably saw how Burger King is selling kids' meals with a new Sir Mix-a-Lot big butt mix. And liked it. More »
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Comment by Not The Red Baron: So, is the Burger King and Sir Mix-a-Lot the same person? Because I believe that's a monarchic constitutional impossibility. If... 10 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
Padma Lakshmi in Sordid Bacon Cheeseburger Sex Tape
An attractive supermodel overcome with meat-induced lust? Where do I, an 18-34-year-old male with disposable income, sign up? At Hardee's! Padma Lakshmi has decided to do one of those Slutburger commercials. More »
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Comment by PickleTitsTurner: That was actually kinda gross. Also, people, please, STOP LICKING YOUR FINGERS! USE A NAPKIN! 17 Responses | Other threads
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marketing
30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity
Last week we totally harshed on NBC's 30 Rock for writing McDonald's McFlurry into its script in such a sellout-y way. But it was all natural, no ad money, just for fun, allegedly! More » -
endorsements
Subway Distancing Themselves from Michael Phelps, Too (Fools)
Kellogg dumped merman Michael Phelps after finding out he smokes weed, even though everyone knows Frosted Flakes are so good, toasted. Now it looks like Subway—also great toasted!—is making the same mistake. [Update: Subway statement.]
More »
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Comment by Smitros: Twinkies and 7-11 need to talk to Phelps' agent STAT. Dude knows about munchies. 17 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
Thousands Die in Facebook Burger Massacre
If you haven't already publicly forsaken all your Facebook friends in order to earn a Whopper, it's too late. Facebook has crippled the Burger King "Whopper Sacrifice" anti-friendship widget for being too mean. More »
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Comment by harvey_wallpaper: i still have a chip on my shoulder about the burger king kids club growing up. something like they ran... 5 Responses | Other threads
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branding
Kids Encouraged to Play With, Uh, 'Deeqs'
"We just thought, let’s try and figure out a fun brand we could put behind some of these casual games." [Times]
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By Ryan TateComment by MisterHippity: I wish I could leeq my own deeq. But it's probably just as well that I can't, because my face would... 2 Responses | Other threads
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michael phelps
Michael Phelps, Jared From Subway Form Goofy Coalition
After he won 84 Olympic gold medals in Beijing and celebrated with a firm grip, Michael Phelps got a little screwy with his endorsement deals. He endorsed McDonald's, which made him seem insensitive to fat Americans who don't spend hours doing swimming drills every day, and he endorsed Frosted Flakes, which, you know, ditto. Some of his other endorsement choices came dangerously close to painting him as a nerd. But he's signed on with Subway now—a healthy choice! Screw McDonald's! But this causes as many problems as it solves for Fish Boy: More »
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Comment by Kid Twist: They'll be lining up to try Michael's foot-long, if you know what I mean. And you do. 11 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
Could Fewer McDonald's Ads Make Kids Eat Less McDonald's?
This past summer, the Evil Food Conglomerates of America agreed to "limit" advertising that "targeted children," though their definition of that is loose enough to keep selling a lot of Pop-Tarts to 13-year-olds. They did this to try to preclude some kind of rule that would outlaw their advertising to children altogether. Unfortunately for the Hamburglar, a new study is out that has people actually talking about banning youth-targeted fast food ads, which would really be an incredible thing. "No fatties," the study proclaims: More »
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Comment by ineffable.me: Uh, yes, because children have all the spending power in the American households of today. 12 Responses | Other threads
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tivo
Pizza Ordering No Longer Strenuous
The nifty technology of TiVo is killing the advertisers that subsidize free television, which is why TiVos are so widely used by greedy socialists such as yourself. The friendly Domino's Pizza corporation, however, has figured out a way to work with TiVo to both enrich themselves and serve you, the lazy American consumer. Aren't you tired of having to push buttons on a telephone to summon a pizza to your doorstep? More »
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Comment by ginger rant: Actually, Dominos apparently gives scads of money to anti-choice organizations, so we shouldn't be ordering our pizza from them any... 12 Responses | Other threads
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kfc
KFC Demands Candidates Mention That Chicken Defeats Hunger
KFC is terribly concerned about starving third world children's lack of access to Original Recipe® buckets and Crispy Twisters®! So the chicken chain is offering a cool $20,000 to solve world hunger—if one of the presidential candidates mentions the issue at the debates tomorrow. 1. What a skimpy amount to offer. 2. The purest form of charity is that which is given anonymously, not that which is accompanied by a gimmicky TV ad. 3. If they don't mention it, will KFC just let the kids starve? Watch the trite attempt to glom onto the news cycle below; thankfully, the ad is silent: More »
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Comment by Larry Fine: Those fuckers over at Popeye's probably want the children of the world starving! KFC! UN-IT-Y! 5 Responses | Other threads
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taco bell
Band Sellout Prices Reach An All-Time Low
The entire music industry is slowly becoming a simple extension of corporate marketing programs—but at least most companies are forced to pay a lot of money for their new pets. Taco Bell, though, has learned that it doesn't take that much to have an "indie" (Ha! Ho!) group cosign your company. The souls of musicians used to cost at least a bag of heroin; now, an entire band can be purchased for as little as a Chalupa value meal! More »
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Comment by bringmemyTofu: The Who would never let their music be used for a tv....oh wait. Well, Led Zeppelin would never have a... 11 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
Real Men Eat Brains
Ha, Wendy's is being humorous with its new "Meatatarians" ad campaign, cause it's like, fuck vegetables, eat cows! "Our goal is to continue our dominance atop the food chain," reads the website, which has no content except a box for Meatatarians to sign up for mass emails from Wendy's. You won't see any cows signing up. Now who's smart? -
advertising
Do Not Think About What This McDonald's Ad Could Imply
Fast food is essentially made up of low-quality byproducts of better food. Leftover cow parts, ground pig parts... you can use your imagination. So it's best for fast food companies to stick with happy clowns and assorted other mascots in their ads, staying as far as possible from any image that could make you consider what's actually in the food you're buying. And they should especially make sure they never draw any parallels between their product and human flesh. I mean, yuck. So tell us, McDonald's, what went wrong here?: More » -
celebrity endorsements
Five Irresponsible Celebrity Endorsements
The public irritation with Michael Phelps gathers steam! Instead of being on the Wheaties box like a real American champion, Phelps has signed on to endorse Frosted Flakes. Yes: Michael Phelps wants your kids to choke down these sugar-encrusted corn scabs rather than the high fiber of Wheaties. The papers already found some doctors to condemn him. Though we shouldn't be surprised considering Phelps' addiction to Big Macs, the goofy-ass swimmer really should have been smarter in terms of his image. After the jump, five more idiotic celebrity endorsements that can't be explained by mere logic: More »
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Comment by brillo: The genial Fred McMurray was the shill for Chisinbop, the revolutionary math system that involved wrapping one's knuckles on the... more » | Other threads
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michael phelps
Heroic Phelps Inspires World To Gorge On McDonalds
Are you sick of hearing by now how Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day to fuel his superhuman championship swimming for the gold? Too bad dude! Because what has not been adequately discussed by the media is how awesomely all-American Michael Phelps' calories are. He eats McDonalds! And you can follow his championship diet, too! Allow one of our nation's most prominent journalists to tell you all about it: More »
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Comment by SeeingI: It will be intriguing to see him get super-obese as he stops exercising but keeps up the eating out of... more » | Other threads
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Food Marketing
Here, Kiddie Kiddie
Children under 12 are the targets of almost $1 billion in marketing spending from food companies every year. What are they being sold? Pop-tarts, fast food, crackers, gum, sugary cereals, and the other things that good moms don't let their kids eat. But! The food industry has graciously decided that they will get their rampant advertising to kids under control, to ensure that the kids aren't, you know, encouraged to buy the carbtastic products that these companies make. And who is determining just what the standards will be for protecting kids? These very same food companies! In related news, kids are all fat. Let's break it down: More »
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Comment by HK_Guy: Crystal meth. Get those kids on crystal meth. THEN they'll lose those pounds! more » | Other threads
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pamela anderson
Pamela Anderson Doesn't Need Your Tainted Money (Pockets Money)
Not to shock all of you, but evidence has arisen that indicates that breast-toting sex symbol Pamela Anderson may not be the beacon of morality you all thought. She's a prominent vegetarian and opponent of KFC and all its chicken-slaying ways. So while she was down in Australia filming Big Brother, she took the opportunity to hand-deliver a letter of protest to a KFC outlet. The twist: Pam is getting paid half a million dollars to be on Big Brother—and the biggest sponsor of the show is KFC. I guess she can say she's milking them dry of all their dirty blood money? Yes, that'll work. Below, the text of her missive, explaining the difference between a chicken and a superstar: More »
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Comment by technically merchandise: @Rosewater: that is maybe the most amazing comment i've ever seen. word more » | Other threads
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wilber hardee
Spelling Mystery Behind Hardee Obit
Setting aside the health implications of fast-food pioneer Wilber Hardee's death at the advanced age of 89, one is drawn to the mystery of his first name. No one seems to know how to spell it. The Times went with "Wilber" for its obit. But hey, Times, how about fact-checking your journalism with that most august and reliable of primary sources, the Hardee's Cool Kids website? As show above and to the right, it renders the name "Wilbur," as do about 3,140 Web pages in Google's index in an exact-phrase search, vs. just 1,510 for "Wilber." And "Wilbur" also wins in a Google News search, with 54 uses (including AP!) vs. just "about 10" for "Wilbur." But wait, there are so many more wrinkles to this obit mystery! More »
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By Ryan TateComment by Aaron Altman: @KarenUhOh: Oh I love you. @BalknChain: I think Ryan's already in his blue Toyota Celica, packed to the hilt with camping... more » | Other threads
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wilber hardee
Five Deaths That Prove You Should Eat Fast Food
Neatly encapsulating the prevailing foodie conventional wisdom, science-fearing New York Times contributor Michael Pollan has famously advised America to "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." He also believes we should eat like our ignorant, backward ancestors ("Don’t eat anything your great-great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food") instead of like modern human beings. But as regular Gawker readers know, heavily-processed, contemporary American fast food has preserved an inordinate number of its inventors and purveyors well past any reasonable life expectancy. This morning's Times brings word of the death of hamburger chain founder Wilber Hardee at the ripe old age of 89. Granted, he was felled by a heart attack. But he joins no fewer than four other fast food pioneers who have kicked the bucket over the past six months at extraordinarily advanced ages: More » -
Chris Coleson
McDonald's Shuns Miracle Weight Loss Man
When the movie Super Size Me came out, showing the ravaging effects of a monthlong fast food diet, it was terrible PR for McDonald's. The company spent tons of money combating the perceptions from that one overwrought documentary, seriously! And now, in what can only be described as a gift from the marketing gods, some fat guy has gone an all-McDonald's diet and actually lost 86 pounds (pictured: before and after). But the company won't sign him as a spokesman. You shallow fools! You think he's too ugly, DON'T YOU? More »
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Comment by SpinGoddess: While some people can live on 1500 calories a day, you have to remember that your caloric need is based... more » | Other threads
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panic
Your Tomatoes May Kill You!
McDonald's has pulled all tomatoes out of its stores because of a DEADLY POISON salmonella scare! Winn-Dixie, Ralphs, Vons, and Albertsons supermarkets are pulling some tomatoes from their shelves! Taco Bell, Chipotle, and (a tipster says) Subway: pulling tomatoes! For your safety. Again: THE RAW RED TOMATOES IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR MAY HARBOR DEADLY MICROBES PREPARED TO ROT YOU FROM THE INSIDE. In a servicey attempt to keep all of you in good health, we are pasting this weekend's FDA warning after the jump: More »
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Comment by VeganRampage: Yes, for sure veggies are being poisoned and polluted from factory farming waste run-off. FDA has long known this, but... more » | Other threads
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justice
Teenage Punks Must Apologize On YouTube For Being Dumb
Teenagers have always been complete jerks, but in the YouTube age, they have an unprecedented ability to share their jerky ways with the entire world. And then to get arrested for it. When two teenage jerks in (naturally) Florida videotaped themselves pulling a "Fire in the hole" prank—tossing a huge cup of soda through the window at a drive-through worker—and put it up on YouTube, the enterprising victim did some online detective work of her own and caught them. Now, a judge has sentenced the young punks to post another video of themselves on YouTube: "an apology that shows them facedown and handcuffed on the hood of a car." That's nice and everything, but even better would be an apology that shows them facedown after being beat up by angry fast food workers. (Florida McDonald's veteran here, thank you). Sometimes, too, teenage jerks get their comeuppance right when they try their stupid soda-tossing. Like this: More »
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Comment by Knucklehead Babylon: One time in high school my friend and I were in a parked car eating fast food in the restaurant... 1 Responses | Other threads
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advertising
"I've found a way to cook chicken deep down, to get that real cruspy... crispy crust."
The reassuring Kentucky accent of Colonel Sanders has convinced many a person that some deep-fried chicken is just what they want, now! But the man himself wasn't as smooth a salesman as you might imagine. Your moment of Zen today: this YouTube audio clip, which is two minutes and forty-eight seconds of the Colonel trying—and failing—to get his lines out correctly for a commercial voiceover. Chickens savored the moment.
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Comment by AuntPenny: Well, that was fun. I'm off to get some broasted chicken in the East Village. more » | Other threads
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In Brief
French Fries Added To List Of Health Foods
Yet another fast food mogul has died at a ripe old age: J.R. Simplot, a frozen french fry billionaire who supplied McDonald's and others, passed away of natural causes at the age of 99. Ice cream, french fries, burgers, and fried chicken: the key to long life. [LAT via Tabloid Baby]
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Comment by Recently Newly Redundant: Don't forget Albert Hofmann, the chemist who formulated LSD, died at 102 recently. Because drugs kill. Eventually. more » | Other threads
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marketing
McDonald's Steals Revolutionary Chicken-Pickle Combo
Here's the recipe for Mcdonald's new Southern Chicken Sandwich: "a breaded chicken breast garnished with two pickles." Why hasn't anyone thought of this breakthrough item before? They have! This same sandwich has been Chik-fil-A's signature for years. But McD's is all like, "Uh, what? We totally don't know what you're talking about." Whatever, sandwich thieves! More »
fast food
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Fri Jul 10
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