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Posts Tagged “

Feet

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crime wave

Hoax Revelation Makes Canadian Body Part Mystery One Foot Less Spooky

Disembodied feet keep washing up on the shores of British Columbia—which, despite the name, is apparently in Canada?—and everyone is in a tizzy. Four right feet have been discovered since last August in the Strait of Georgia (once again, still Canada) near Vancouver, all of them in sneakers. A left foot was found earlier this week. Another right foot was found yesterday, but it was apparently a hilarious hoax. Canadians are such kidders! Anyway, no one knows where all these feet are coming from. But "Curtis Ebbesmeyer, an expert on ocean currents, told The Sun a foot wearing a buoyant athletic shoe could float as far as 1,000 miles." Which is good to know! As always, authorities advise that you avoid amputees and Canadians.

5:45 PM on Thu Jun 19 2008
By Pareene
2,683 views, 254 comments

Latest by arguablythemostfamous: with no leads, the possibilities are lim(b)itless. @MisterHippity: yours just keep getting funnier, it's amazing. more »

profnet

Reporter Desperately Seeking Smelly Foot, Genital Information

Ah, Profnet—the easy-peasy electronic service that lets reporters put out requests for even the strangest sources. Then those requests are leaked to us, and we can all have a sympathetic laugh about the endlessly debasing things that freelancers have to go through just to pay the rent. Maybe you can help! Do you know much about smelly feet and/ or vaginas? Please get in touch at once! More »

4:20 PM on Mon Jun 9 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
3,155 views, 29 comments

trends

"Our customers wanted more flip-flop luxury"

See these flip-flops? They're not just any flip-flops. They're high fashion, "Married to the Mob" flip-flops, and they cost $42. Can you spot the reason why this is stupid? That's right: you pay ten times what you would pay for a plain pair of flip-flops, in order to have a brand name which is covered by your foot when you are wearing them. I imagine fashion snobs must just hang these flip-flops jauntily over their shoulder instead of slipping them on their feet, so that the logo can shine freely. In fact, the entire idea of paying extra for name-brand flip-flops is a bit ridiculous. But the price tag can get much, much worse than $42. Allow us introduce you to PechePlatinum—the "World's Most Expensive Flip-Flops." More »

1:17 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
3,349 views, 56 comments

Latest by famousauthor: I knew designer flip flops had to come. What's next? Tattooed bare feet? more »