The first thing you should know about Kanye West's manic episode on tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live is that he had some shit in the left corner of his mouth for a large portion of it. That was very distracting, and made everything he said that much harder to take seriously.

Here is how it begins: "Dear Miley, I've noticed a decline in attention by the day since I last mentioned your name in public, so here I go again LOL."

Last week, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga released the first singles of their respective upcoming albums, Prism and (my fingers groan a little bit louder with old age every time I type this) ARTPOP. The ensuing battle to the top of the charts was like a taste test between a Saltine and a Saltine piled with sprinkles,…

Kim Kardashian, who emerged from the womb of seclusion this for the first time after renting her own womb out to a demigod and future rich kid of Instagram, is mad at Katie Couric. She just Instagrammed this shot of Couric's baby gift to Kardashian and everyone's favorite god:

Last Monday, Madonna arrived in Malawi a VIP. Last Saturday, she left the country with her VIP status revoked.

In 2011, America's most cherished treasures, acTORS James Franco and Anne Hathaway, hosted the Oscars. They didn't do a great job, but everyone's since moved on. We don't spend too much time psychoanalyzing the relationship of Anne Hathaway and James Franco, two people who don't seem to know each other that well.

The musical equivalent of the Hatfields and McCoys burying the hatchet (or Itchy and Scratchy burying the butcher knife) occurred Saturday night when Oasis' Noel Gallagher joined Blur's Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon onstage at London's Royal Albert Hall for the Teenage Cancer Trust benefit show. Rock legend Paul…

Looks like anyone hoping to see a grown woman battle a 14-year-old 24-year-old in the press will be going home disappointed; Tina Fey has neither the time nor the patience for you to make her nonexistent feud with Taylor Swift "a thing."

"Boston," a cramped Hollywood crime movie set populated primarily by the lesser Wahlbergs, is engaged in a gleeful back-and-forth exchange of japes with a national media outlet, calling to mind the beaming smile of a developmentally disabled child who has just been allowed to win a game of tag with a grown man.

Last night's American Idol should have included footage of the infamous Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj feud, which TMZ broke the news on in October, getting us (well, me, at least) all excited in the process. Instead of hearing Mariah call Nicki a "bitch" in earnest and Nicki yelp, "Off with your head, off with your head,"…

Last night, Fox screened about an hour's worth of footage of the first two episodes of the upcoming season of American Idol (premiering Wednesday) to fans and contest winners in movie theaters around the country. It was as weird as it sounds, but thoroughly entertaining. Immediately, it was clear that pitting classic…

Non-Senator Rick Santorum has announced his intention to combat the Senate confirmation of Chuck Hagel for Defense secretary. There's a lot to that sentence, so let me re-state: Rick Santorum, who as a regular, non-elected citizen has no more power than you or me or Bobby McGee, is going to attempt to hold up Chuck…

This week, Chris Carter and Cosey Fanni Tutti released what would have been the final album from industrial music's parents Throbbing Gristle were it actually allowed to be called a Throbbing Gristle album. Desertshore/The Final Report features one disc of covers of the 1970 album by Velvet Underground collaborator…

How were you occupying yourself in this trying time? Could you eat? Sleep? Did white wine even taste sweet anymore? Whether you were Team Hoda and Kathie Lee or Team Chelsea, you can finally unclench your butt cheeks and relax.

Soledad O'Brien welcomed former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani on her CNN show Starting Point this morning. The conversation was about Libya at first, until it was about Rudy Giuliani's weird spin room denial answers.

Just what is Lady Gaga up to these days? Is she still serving as scaffolding for tiny construction workers? Or copying Justin Bieber as he copies Aaron Carter? Nope. Instead she has discovered a new art in the form of slam poetry.

Is the Mariah Carey-Nicki Minaj back-and-forth a genuine feud or a ratings ploy? Neither, claim American Idol producers.

In case you haven't heard, AMC is not available on Dish Network. But if you've watched even five minutes of AMC over the past few months, you're well aware: every single promo contains a damning reminder.