It never was and never will be about the pay. Despite many of you having law and business degrees from grad school, the hopefully under five years known as your assistant days is obviously paying your dues. It's hazing all over again. Rolling calls, photocopying, and fetching coffee won't make you a Hollywood player. Mirroring your boss as he/she hurls staplers and binders at you is part of the program.
I disagree. Stay on the tracking board. Know where your fellow competition. Trade your info on talent, scripts, etc. ruthlessly to your advantage. Don't start a blog bitching about your boss. Grow a pair since whatever industry your in, in and out of entertainment, bosses = assholes.
Don't skip out on networking mixers over dive bar drinks with other assistants since this is your ticket to get someone else to answer phones for you. Be able to write coverage for everything and anything that passes through your bosses hands. Listen in on calls obviously. You don't want to be a lifer as an assistant.
@tribalpottery: Baloney. If there is one thing anyone learns about "show business" more than anything is there are no rules, you are never blacklisted and you really always have a second, third, fourth, fifth or nth shot.
I’m fairly convinced at this point that it’s bitter a-hole middlings holding each other down that is the only constant. Get past them and you’re fine.
@Natasha VC: All the good tracking boards are free. You have to be invited to be on a tracking board by friends or friends of friends. The popular host sites from yahoo and google.
There're various assistant alumni groups (ex. CAA assistants alumni yahoo group). Alumni networks are out there to find a t.b. (ex. Wisconsin's hollywoodbadgers.com).
Btw, I mean if you're looking for a job via the UTA job list it's because various assistant tracking boards have been through them like a colander. And, anyone can get that job list via email.
@SpyMagician: There are some definite basic rules. If you can't roll calls, keep a clean calendar, secure a drive-on, handle a phone sheet, don't know what a tentpole or weekend read, do coverage quickly and accurately you won't last an hour as an assistant.
Btw, you don't need a big of money despite the wage cuts. The pay as assistant will always be small and there'll be someone out there to fill your shoes just to get their foot in the door.
Here's my advice:
1. Load up on the swag. You get so much free stuff as an assistant: gift bags, dvds, books, and especially bottled water. Use these to your advantage. Literally your birthday and Christmas shopping is done for you. It's like the free cosmetics, accessories, and clothes working in fashion.
2. Leftovers. There's so much catered stuff, not to mention restaurant gift certificates that your bosses get. Expensed staff lunch today will be your dinner for this evening.
3. Premiers. Your likely not to be able to go to that 7:30 movie premier since your boss will typically give you a 15-hour day. Trade the tickets to these to your friends for something else. If you can go, the trifecta of free booze, appetizers, and gift bag will get your through another night w/o ramen noodles.
@Iwillnotauditionforastar: Sleeping your way to the top is what actors do not future HPPs (Hollywood Power Players). We're the ruthless ones you become the johns/madams not the hookers.
Despite the poor wages,to survive on such a pittance most assistants come from the upper middle class and above backgrounds. Mommy and Daddy often cover the rent and trust funds are common. The money collected alone at certain bar mitvahs could support you until your early 30s.
@tribalpottery: Your advice seems to come from the "Ladies’ Home Journal Guide to Generic Advice"... Specifically: If you can't roll calls, keep a clean calendar, secure a drive-on, handle a phone sheet, don't know what a tentpole or weekend read, do coverage quickly and accurately you won't last an hour as an assistant.
And none of what you describe is so mind-blowingly difficult that anyone needs "tips" on how to deal with it. Any competent assistant or secretary can do 95% of what you mention.
As for industry specific terminology, that is the biggest canard about "the business of show." It changes all the time and keeping up with it is practically impossible. But it's like any slang, you get it eventually and only the real a-holes will give you grief about it.
Here's some crazy advice: Figure out what you want to do in the business and then balance the day job with that. There are many, many, many more ways in than just being a flunky at an agency.
It's not too much different than Wall Street where the supposed "rules" are just b.s. that people spew to make it seem so complex you could never enter the world.
@Natasha VC: USC is more known as the University of South Central or University of Scared Caucasians btw.
D-Assistant/D-Girl/D-Boy: Development Assistant/Girl/Boy. training Hollywood magnate. the alpha assistant.
FBJ: Friend Between Jobs. About anyone who you can trust to fill your assistant position but won't take the job from you.
TIK: Those In the Know. Hipsters. The cool kids ahead of the trends; know upcoming writers, actors, and directors.
COC: Christmas on Cocaine. Holidays Hollywood style. Bonus season. Usually gifts from the higher ups: latest Ipods, company embossed Zagats for next year, etc.
C.E./Creative Exec. The lowest position at a studio/prod co.
20-10-10: Most often way to read a script. Read the first 20 pages, somewhere in the middle 10 pages, and obviously the final 10.
@Iwillnotauditionforastar: UCLA then? University of Caucasians Lost Among Asians. Or are you NYJew? Film school? MBA? Law school?
Ok, who are you?! :) Working with the Weinsteins is a nightmare and it's karma that's happening to their financing. I wonder how Georgina puts up with Harvey; no pre-up I hope.
Congrats. Don't let death put a stop to your career, networking, or publicity. Hey, look at Michael Jackson!
@tribalpottery: If you don't know who I am then you aren't supposed to.
The sole point of my comments in this thread is to let all the kids who think they have to be climbers are just feeding into a grinder that will destroy them or make them carbon copies.
As a Bruin, I can tell you that we are still very fond of the 'University of Spoiled Children' nickname. At USC v UCLA tennis matches the opposing side would shake their car keys at us. We had the Hondas and they had the Audis. So it seems like WMA and WME are the great equalizers of the glitter game.
That might be a plan. Corbin Bowl, I'm afraid, is not what it once was. The bowling looked like a lot of fun, but the karaoke lounge, well, it looked like a very dull wake in there.
there's also 6) dinner can be had sample-surfing your way from Gelson's Century City through the new Pavillions in Weho and Bristol Farms on Beverly. Plus side is that you'll be thin enough for sample sizes. That is, since your bosses won't ever share any of those delicious, plump babies they feast on..
@lobstr: I may be doing too much assuming in your instance here, but fans of shows like F&G complain about this stuff all the time, but most of you all never actually watched the show while it was on the air. The same goes for Arrested Development. You have to actually watch the show while it is still in production, People. That is the only way they know.
@Brawndo: that is quite presumptuous :p Why the hell would anyone complain about a show being pulled if they weren't a fan? How do you know "most of [us] never actually watched the show while it was on the air?" Do you not remember the outcry when it was cancelled?
And besides, my point is, the method of measuring ratings is antiquated -- just as their formula for greenlighting bullshit shows like this Pohler trainwreck. CBS pulled "Jericho" but was blindsided by the large numbers of people in the ensuing outcry.. the ratings system apparently didn't account for those..
I have loved and lived for Amy Poehler since I first saw the UCB staging a performance at the Astor Place cube in 1997, I have extremely aggressively (and only semi-drunkenly) hit on Aziz Ansari not once but twice in East Village dive bars, and I used to work in City Hall, so one might think this would be my dream show. Yet the preview didn't make me crack a smile, even a little. I smell turkey, and it kills me to admit it.
This sounds like the scathing indictment of municipal government that I have long-demanded from NBC. I expect this will be second only to Kurosawa's white hot excoriation of village herring fisheries in Jakoman to Tetsu.
How many of you would like Leslie and her team to deal with real-life problems, like the ones you face every day? And who would like to see them do just the opposite: getting into far-out situations involving robots and magic powers?
@Solomon Grundy: I know it's nit-picky, but almost EVERYONE uses that wrong! Like, especially in mainstream media, which this isn't exactly. Keep an eye out; it's everywhere.
@Heneage: Listen, just because ignoramuses often misuse the idiom doesn't mean that we should accede to some misguided descriptivist race to the bottom. At the very least, it's a controversial usage. Middlebrow writers should at least be aware of what the idiom actually means. For educated readers, it sticks in the craw like an ugly little stone.
@Solomon Grundy: Ignoramuses such as The Economist? Oxford? Acknowledged grammar Nazi Lynne Truss? Fowler's Modern English Usage? Language evolves, get with the times. When was the last time you heard someone use the word "thou" outside of Church or a Shakespeare play?
@Heneage: Also, the Economist is staffed by middlebrow, early 20something Oxbridge pricks. I do not let their binge-drinking, acne-addled choices affect my choices if I can help it.
@Solomon Grundy: You do know that every comment you make from now on better be letter perfect. Just sayin. 'Cause the first lazy gerund phrase (or whatever you're riled up about)…uh, yeah, we'll tell you. And you'll basically defeat your whole point here.
So get out that grammar trip-tik and make sure you're up-to-date on all those commonly misspelled and/or misused words, smarty pants!
@Solomon Grundy: I always notice the misuse of this phrase, too, but it's not like I'm a particularly good writer (I edit copy, which is an entirely different skill). Recognizing common language mistakes is an easy trick, and just because John Cook didn't pick this one up doesn't make him a mediocre writer.
@Solomon Grundy: Man you really have to tow the line here at Gawker, lest commenters wreck havoc on your posts. For all intensive purposes, that particular usage is commonly accepted. I could care less, really, but it's a mute point, because I'm changing it.
08/01/09
I disagree. Stay on the tracking board. Know where your fellow competition. Trade your info on talent, scripts, etc. ruthlessly to your advantage. Don't start a blog bitching about your boss. Grow a pair since whatever industry your in, in and out of entertainment, bosses = assholes.
Don't skip out on networking mixers over dive bar drinks with other assistants since this is your ticket to get someone else to answer phones for you. Be able to write coverage for everything and anything that passes through your bosses hands. Listen in on calls obviously. You don't want to be a lifer as an assistant.
Best of luck champs.
08/01/09
08/01/09
I’m fairly convinced at this point that it’s bitter a-hole middlings holding each other down that is the only constant. Get past them and you’re fine.
Also, find a big bag of money.
08/01/09
Is there a free but useful tracking board? It seems like so much money to pay for dishing!
08/01/09
There I am sitting across from one of the bastards in the dead guy's dining room. Nice apartment, though.
And he's going on about some Tom Hanks property in development, while I'm creeped out and just want my payment.
So, they can spend 5 years being treated like shit. Or they can make their own luck.
08/01/09
There're various assistant alumni groups (ex. CAA assistants alumni yahoo group). Alumni networks are out there to find a t.b. (ex. Wisconsin's hollywoodbadgers.com).
Btw, I mean if you're looking for a job via the UTA job list it's because various assistant tracking boards have been through them like a colander. And, anyone can get that job list via email.
08/01/09
Btw, you don't need a big of money despite the wage cuts. The pay as assistant will always be small and there'll be someone out there to fill your shoes just to get their foot in the door.
Here's my advice:
1. Load up on the swag. You get so much free stuff as an assistant: gift bags, dvds, books, and especially bottled water. Use these to your advantage. Literally your birthday and Christmas shopping is done for you. It's like the free cosmetics, accessories, and clothes working in fashion.
2. Leftovers. There's so much catered stuff, not to mention restaurant gift certificates that your bosses get. Expensed staff lunch today will be your dinner for this evening.
3. Premiers. Your likely not to be able to go to that 7:30 movie premier since your boss will typically give you a 15-hour day. Trade the tickets to these to your friends for something else. If you can go, the trifecta of free booze, appetizers, and gift bag will get your through another night w/o ramen noodles.
08/01/09
Despite the poor wages,to survive on such a pittance most assistants come from the upper middle class and above backgrounds. Mommy and Daddy often cover the rent and trust funds are common. The money collected alone at certain bar mitvahs could support you until your early 30s.
08/01/09
If you can't roll calls, keep a clean calendar, secure a drive-on, handle a phone sheet, don't know what a tentpole or weekend read, do coverage quickly and accurately you won't last an hour as an assistant.
And none of what you describe is so mind-blowingly difficult that anyone needs "tips" on how to deal with it. Any competent assistant or secretary can do 95% of what you mention.
As for industry specific terminology, that is the biggest canard about "the business of show." It changes all the time and keeping up with it is practically impossible. But it's like any slang, you get it eventually and only the real a-holes will give you grief about it.
Here's some crazy advice: Figure out what you want to do in the business and then balance the day job with that. There are many, many, many more ways in than just being a flunky at an agency.
It's not too much different than Wall Street where the supposed "rules" are just b.s. that people spew to make it seem so complex you could never enter the world.
08/01/09
HPP!! What other clever acronyms are we missing? USCCM? (University of Southern California Communication Majors)
08/02/09
D-Assistant/D-Girl/D-Boy: Development Assistant/Girl/Boy. training Hollywood magnate. the alpha assistant.
FBJ: Friend Between Jobs. About anyone who you can trust to fill your assistant position but won't take the job from you.
TIK: Those In the Know. Hipsters. The cool kids ahead of the trends; know upcoming writers, actors, and directors.
COC: Christmas on Cocaine. Holidays Hollywood style. Bonus season. Usually gifts from the higher ups: latest Ipods, company embossed Zagats for next year, etc.
C.E./Creative Exec. The lowest position at a studio/prod co.
20-10-10: Most often way to read a script. Read the first 20 pages, somewhere in the middle 10 pages, and obviously the final 10.
...There's so many more term out there.
08/02/09
Good luck with that 5 years of torture to become HPP.
And if you are a HPP, ask the Emmanuels* who I am.
You make me chuckle.
*They'll understand the extra M.
Don't even get me started on my rivalry with the Leow's. Geez. The n00bs these days.
They think all the power players want their names to be known. It's the names you don't see who are the real "HPP."
08/02/09
Ok, who are you?! :) Working with the Weinsteins is a nightmare and it's karma that's happening to their financing. I wonder how Georgina puts up with Harvey; no pre-up I hope.
Congrats. Don't let death put a stop to your career, networking, or publicity. Hey, look at Michael Jackson!
08/02/09
The sole point of my comments in this thread is to let all the kids who think they have to be climbers are just feeding into a grinder that will destroy them or make them carbon copies.
Make your own way. On your own terms.
Is that really a bad message?
08/02/09
As a Bruin, I can tell you that we are still very fond of the 'University of Spoiled Children' nickname. At USC v UCLA tennis matches the opposing side would shake their car keys at us. We had the Hondas and they had the Audis. So it seems like WMA and WME are the great equalizers of the glitter game.
08/02/09
"If you don't know who I am then you aren't supposed to."
I'm putting that on my bone-colored business cards.
08/03/09
07/31/09
08/01/09
When things get real bad we can bowl to autotune jams at Woodlake bowl!
08/01/09
That might be a plan. Corbin Bowl, I'm afraid, is not what it once was. The bowling looked like a lot of fun, but the karaoke lounge, well, it looked like a very dull wake in there.
07/31/09
08/02/09
It's a sad day when they'll eventually have to slum it by sample surfing at NoHo Trader Joes.
08/02/09
Did you say... "slum it"?
Yes!
03/25/09
Dear Amy,
What was so wrong with fashioning a sitcom version of Baby Mama? You have just skipped the gold mine in favor of the dung heap. Tsk tsk.
Sincerely,
Inhaler
03/24/09
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03/25/09
And besides, my point is, the method of measuring ratings is antiquated -- just as their formula for greenlighting bullshit shows like this Pohler trainwreck. CBS pulled "Jericho" but was blindsided by the large numbers of people in the ensuing outcry.. the ratings system apparently didn't account for those..
03/24/09
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No offense John.
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03/24/09
"In general use, the meaning is much more likely to be 'to evade a difficulty' or 'to refrain from giving a straghtforward answer'.
John Major's vision of Europe seems to me entirely correct. But it begs the question: why did the prime minister all but sacrifice his office...
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03/24/09
@Solomon Grundy: Calling people stupid is a surefire way to lose an argument, whether you have a point or not.
03/24/09
So get out that grammar trip-tik and make sure you're up-to-date on all those commonly misspelled and/or misused words, smarty pants!
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