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New York, 11:31 AM
Sun Nov 29
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #flashers more →

    Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants

    Remainders: Protecting the Hamptons Share Crowd
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    07/06/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    Wow, I was really hoping to go a few more decades without having to see old man peen. Another reason to dread getting older.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of gzfeditor01 gzfeditor01
    07/06/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
     Reply
    gzfeditor01 was starred gzfeditor01 was unstarred
    Image of lawyergay lawyergay
    07/06/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    Riding the subway is just an utterly different experience for men and women.


    Memo to the boys: Keep it in your pants, you fucking dirtbags!

     Reply
    lawyergay was starred lawyergay was unstarred
    Image of MincnglyWhrdL'mer MincnglyWhrdL'mer
    07/06/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    two words: detachable penis

     Reply
    MincnglyWhrdL'mer was starred MincnglyWhrdL'mer was unstarred
    Image of narnio narnio
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    way to get penis in the headline - that's a reliable page view multiple. i'm getting here too late to tell, but did this post burn when it went up?
     Reply
    narnio was starred narnio was unstarred
    Image of Scout 3.0 Scout 3.0
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    Maybe the police can zoom in on the photo and get some fingerprints.
     Reply
    Scout 3.0 was starred Scout 3.0 was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    07/06/09

    @Scout 3.0: Call CSI: New York.
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of fifilaru fifilaru
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    I like the bow Gawker put on the picture. Very festive. I have seen more wieners than I care to think about on NYC subways. And I always laughed. It must be an ego blow to have a woman laugh at the wiener you are so proudly showing to her.
     Reply
    fifilaru was starred fifilaru was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    07/06/09

    @fifilaru: I just think, "Well, at least I'm entertaining her."
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of dalisstache dalisstache
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    I think what we're all forgetting here is how creeped out the guy sitting next to him is going to feel if he ever sees this. I want to hear from him!
     Reply
    dalisstache was starred dalisstache was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    07/06/09

    @dalisstache: Don't bother Yao Ming in the offseason. Guy looks like he needs some time to recuperate.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    07/06/09

    @dalisstache: I know, that was my thought too. Just inches away from danger. Ick.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of TheUpMyAssPlayers TheUpMyAssPlayers
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    You're not a New Yorker until you've seen cock on the subway in my opinion.
     Reply
    TheUpMyAssPlayers was starred TheUpMyAssPlayers was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    07/06/09

    @TheUpMyAssPlayers: Huh. I've been here for about eight years but have never been flashed. Then again, I pay no attention to anyone or anything on the train, so maybe I just didn't notice it. That's probably must crushing of all to a subway perv.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    It's the handle of his umbrella.
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    07/06/09

    @Mount_Prion: without its shell.
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    07/06/09

    @CaptainFantastic: Oooooh, insidery!
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    It's Atlantic AVENUE-Pacific STREET.
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    OK. I can't tell. Does he have a PA? Or does his penis have legs?
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    Back in the day, I used to keep a tiny bottle of Scope (alcohol 8.4 wt%) in my purse for just such an event. If a guy sitting next to you on the train has his cock out and starts jerking it, you just dump it all on him and it stings like a motherfucker.


    If you need to get rid of the smell of hard liquor on your way to work, it helps with that too.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    07/05/09

    @BookishLookish: Haha. Scope isn't that strong anymore, I don't think. That's like... hobo drank stong. Pepper spray is pretty much universal though.
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of Helennellieforsythe Helennellieforsythe
    07/05/09

    @BookishLookish: Purell. As a germaphobe, I have it in my purse anyways, but I know from a hilariously mean prank once that it's not something you want near your junk.


    Also, there's this stuff they have up here (not sure if you guys have it in the states) called Muscle Mist. It's pretty much alcohol with menthol in it. It burns when you put it anywhere, I don't even want to imagine what it could do to sensitive bits.

     Reply
    Helennellieforsythe was starred Helennellieforsythe was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    07/05/09

    @Helennellieforsythe: Servicy!
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    07/05/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Now the subways are much less treacherous. Back in the 80s, if you were on the trains every day, you were guaranteed one flasher per three train rides, plus a twice yearly murder.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of The One The One
    07/05/09

    @BookishLookish: What if you need to douse a flasher's dong AND cover the smell of booze on your way to work?
     Reply
    The One was starred The One was unstarred
    Image of nonce nonce
    07/05/09

    @BookishLookish: Awesome. We've been having a lot of "penis pop" where I work (in retail) and now I know the solution.


    (The best part is when elderly customers come up to you and politely announce "there's a man playing with himself in the clearance section.")

     Reply
    nonce was starred nonce was unstarred
    Image of Solomon Grundy Solomon Grundy
    07/06/09

    @BookishLookish: Did you ever actually do this? I feel like most of the guys who flash themselves would not hesitate to attack a female who poured Scope on their pencildicks.


    In the Self Defense class I just took, we were taught that you never take out a weapon unless you are going to use it, and that you use it to help you escape your attacker as quickly as possible. But I'm curious if you have any first-hand experience.

     Reply
    Solomon Grundy was starred Solomon Grundy was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    07/06/09

    @Solomon Grundy: Hey, the guy's the one who shouldn't take out his weapon unless specifically requested, darling. I was trained in krav; 'nuff said.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    07/06/09

    @Solomon Grundy: I don't think flashers/surreptitious jerkers are the aggressive type (like a rapist would be). It's like they're so terrified of women that the closest they can get to actual sex is masturbating while on public transit. Where else are they that close to a woman for longer that 3 seconds?*


    *The preceding comment was not based on valid research, actual science, or sound logic.

     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    07/06/09

    @nonce: The best part is when elderly customers come up to you and politely announce "there's a man playing with himself in the clearance section.


    "That's just the store manager on his break, ma'am. Now, did you want to pay for that with a credit card?"

     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    07/06/09

    @BookishLookish: Would you use the Krav "redirect, control, attack, take away" technique on a subway jerker's weapon? Please demonstrate.


    Does anyone make something that shoots alcohol accurately and far like typical pepper sprayers? That would work well (to the eyes or penis) for the subway when one didn't want to cause shut-down and evacuation of the entire train. You could still get to work on time, just with a pervert writhing on the floor of train.

     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    07/06/09

    @CaptainFantastic: No, I would not touch the "weapon" itself, too skeevy, but if he came at me I would get him in a headlock and almost-crush his windpipe.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Solomon Grundy Solomon Grundy
    07/06/09

    @BookishLookish: I feel like you're really different in person from how I had previously imagined you, but in an awesome way. In my imagination now, you're basically Hothead Paisan.
     Reply
    Solomon Grundy was starred Solomon Grundy was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    07/06/09

    @Solomon Grundy: "Homicidal lesbian terrorist" is a bit off, but thanks, I'll take your praise, honey.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    subjugating the flasher is an awesome turnaround


    technology wins

     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    07/05/09

    In reply to Subway Rider Offers To Help Man Put Penis Back Into Pants
    Is that a penis on your lap or is there a small brown snake that lives in your pants who sometimes emerges on mass transit because the gentle rocking of the train makes it comfortable?
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
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