Dear twelve thousand people who wrote to us last week to tell us that the hype and lines surrounding Momofuku Noodle Bar are totally justified: get excited! Next week, you will be clogging the sidewalk at the corner of Allen and Rivington, where a new pho bar from an ex-Fleur de Sel chef is opening for business on…

Wow, you sure like ramen! The verdict is in: Momofuku is (for the most part) worth the wait, especially if you're into pork buns — one tipster informs us that these pig-flavored treats are "soft and full (and unnervingly like my Asian boyfriend's ass)." Yummy! And if you want to avoid the wait, there's Momofuku Ssam…

Every time we pass E.Vil noodlebar Momofuku, we wonder how it's possible that there's always such a mammoth line of hungry hipstersyupsters clogging the sidewalk. Sure, New York Mag deemed it the best "cheap eats" (our definition of "cheap" is a 25 cent packet of ramen, not a $14 bowl of it, but we digress), and…

Former Megu waitress Satomi Southward has filed a sexual-harassment lawsuit against the Japanese megaplex, seeking $20 million in compensatory and punitive damages. The suit alleges that Southward endured all sorts of nasty things at the Tribeca joint: head chef Mitsuo Endo sexually humiliated her in front of the…

Wine Spectator editor, publisher and chairman Marvin Shanken recently wrote about going to dinner with three friends; the bill for the evening was $1500 ($300 on food, $1200 on wine). His tip? $150. Shanken's rationale was that he tipped $60 for the food (a decent 20%) and $90 for the wine (an indecent 7.5%). But…

• Al Gore and Lindsay Lohan are in a "huge feud." "She knows what she did," says Gore. Wait — is he making a funny? Good for him! [Deadline Hollywood]
• There's a polio outbreak in Namibia, killing 7 adults and paralyzing 33 others — and the Times still manages to raise the Shiloh issue, if only to tell you that…

Great news for the cravat-wearing crowd: the third incarnation of Le Cirque opens to the public on May 30, and this week it's been practicing for the real deal. Last night it hosted a benefit for the Whitney, and tomorrow it will open its doors to a select group of 1,500 of New York's most crotchety scenesters. Who…

• Seventeen EIC Atoosa Rubenstein continues to drop verbal gems wherever she goes. At Gotham Hall last night, she let it be known that in high school, no one wanted to have sex with her because of her hairy "werewolf legs." Well, now we know. But we wish we didn't. [Muckracked]
• We can't help it, but we're still…

• How can you not love Nicole Richie? The saintly thing can't help but share every last sprinkle of blow she's got. [Defamer]
• The reservation line for Mr. Chow's Tribeca outpost is up and running; even if you're nobody, you can snag a table for Saturday's opening. [Eater]
• After reading an interview in which…

A lady who lunches informs us that Noho eateries Five Points and Noho Star are closed for lunch due to the immigration strike — anyone know of any other venues suffering because of headstrong laborers? We called Five Points to confirm and received the following explanation: "You know, because most of the kitchen…

• Assuming Tom Cruise does eat placenta, he learned how to serve it courtesy of Vice. It's like Food & Wine for the flesh-eating hipster set, after all. [Viceland]
• How bad are things getting in the world of big-budget beauty pageants? Bad enough that Miss USA contestants are doing photo-ops Mars 2112. [Getty Images

• The Today Show may be losing Katie Couric's legs, but there's still hope if Meredith Vieira takes her place: Vieira eschews underwear in favor of nature's breeze. [TMZ]
• A moment of sincerity: Jane Pratt and Gwen Stefani working together on a magazine? Holy fucking awesome. We'll spend tonight sleeping on a pile…

A few frightened readers have informed us that restaurateur Nello Ballan took out a cryptic full-page ad in Saturday's Post, which reportedly read something like the following:

• Remember the name Rachel Noerdlinger. She's the publicist who sent out an announcement that the city would pay $25.6 million Staten Island Ferry crash victim Paul Esposito when, in fact, no such agreement had been reached. Well done, missy. [NYT]
• For what it's worth, Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni can't get…

While it may very much seem that we are only capable of distate and disgust, we love the Observer. We also love much of their staff, a smartypants bunch of devilkins who are known to randomly appear at events in inappropriately dapper suits. So we raise the following issue with nothing but the utmost concern:

• Early this morning, Melania Knauss crapped out Donald Trump's baby. A reader earlier told us the baby boy will be named Barron William Trump, though we've no confirmation on that. What we do know, however, is that if Barron weren't Donald Trump's son, the Donald would probably be dating him. [Gothamist]
• Any man…

• The latest in the Times' ever-growing stable of blogs is Wall Street and financial blog DealBook, edited by Andrew Ross Sorkin. We imagine that when Gawker alum Elizabeth Spiers gets her similar venture, Dealbreaker, up and running, these two will spend the spring mudwrestling one another. Kinda hot, no? [DealBook]
…

Behold the Meatpacking District's forthcoming Buddakan, a 16,000-square-foot exercise in Pan-Asian absurdity. Have you ever seen anything so large, so tacky, so retardedly leviathan? Space is at a premium in Manhattan, and we get a medieval wedding hall. Isn't about time we torched 9th Avenue?

Exactly what you want to look at while you eat.
We don't do restaurant reviews — unless it's a celebrity restaurant (oh, NYLA, we miss you so!). So last night we decided to don our crazypants and hit Destino, the new Italian restaurant at 50th and 1st Avenue. No, we didn't go for the food, even though Rao's Mario…

• NBC is reportedly ready to offer Katie Couric $20 million a year to keep her away from CBS. Who knew well-oiled gams were worth so much? [Fox411]
• Director Ang Lee is set to cast Kate Moss in his latest film, a biopic about singer Dusty Springfield, in which she'll play one of Springfield's lesbian lovers. Lee…