It sounded, this morning, like former imaginary Senate candidate Harold Ford really wished he was actually running for office. But that will pass, and soon he'll be grateful. Because now his life can go back to the way it was.
Harold Ford: Out. It is with great sadness we report that mediocre rich Tennessee person Harold Ford has pre-dropped out of the New York Senate race. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Just for future reference, would-be candidates: if you're speaking to the Stonewall Democrats, you should know what Lawrence v. Texas is. Harold Ford did not. (Harold, that was the landmark Supreme Court decision that struck down anti-sodomy laws.)
Political genius and shadow Senate candidate Harold Ford has called on New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand to release her tax returns, but says he doesn't have to do the same because he hasn't "announced" his candidacy yet. It's the rule!
Harold Ford needs a better agent. He's got a plum gig speaking in Bermuda to a bunch of tax-dodgers next month, but in April he goes to Vegas to talk about chickens. As long as the check clears, right?
After six glorious days, the festival of incompetent flackery that was the "Harold Ford Doesn't Pay His Taxes" story is over. Ford's spokesman has finally told us, on the record, that Ford filed New York returns in 2007 and 2008.
Harold Ford was on Meet the Press yesterday, and claimed to have paid taxes on "all New York income" for the last two years. Which is precisely the opposite of what he said last week.
We reported this morning that Harold Ford had never filed a New York tax return because that's precisely what his spokeswoman Tammy Sun told us. Now she's trying to backpedal, and, we hear, lying to other reporters about our story.
While we wait for Harold Ford to explain how he's avoided filing a New York tax return while working in New York, he's preparing to jet off for Bermuda. To address a group that lobbies for tax evaders, er, avoiders.
When it comes to his shadow run for Senate, Harold Ford is a New Yorker through and through. When it comes to paying taxes, though, he's still a Tennessean — he's never filed a New York return.
Harold Ford has defended himself against carpetbagging by saying "I pay taxes there, and once you pay taxes there, you feel like a New Yorker." So why won't he say whether he's ever filed a New York tax return?
Maureen Dowd's column yesterday was a predictably amusing interview with would-be Senator Harold Ford. The funniest line was his bizarre assertion that Eleanor Roosevelt opposed Bobby Kennedy's Senate run from beyond the grave.
The Smoking Gun published theoretical Senate candidate Harold Ford's rider! Nothing too fancy—though he's allergic to shellfish, and apparently the driver who picks him up must not write his full name on the sign.
Page Six spotted would-be Senator Harold Ford dining with Governor David Paterson at Butter last Tuesday. Which means it's time up update the ol' campaign trail map! Study it, Harold, because your New York geography needs work.
Harold Ford is lecturing (for money) in Missouri tonight. Tomorrow he's debating Republican embarrassment machine Michael Steele in Little Rock. (Also for money.) We hope his lecture is about why he is what is wrong with the entire Democratic party!
Zagat reviewer and supposed Senate candidate Harold Ford did Colbert last night. He deftly met every joke with an inane talking point, just like a real Senate candidate!
Octogenarian gossipeuse and human Eraserhead tribute Cindy Adams has an exclusive: perpetual candidate Harold Ford is totally a real New Yorker! (He's also another victim of this recession, because of his 45-day leave of absence from Merrill Lynch.)
What is future senator Harold Ford up to, today? The New York Times let him write a little op-ed column He gave a radio interview. He proposes tax cuts for major corporations and also thinks Jews talk funny.
At least there's a Harold Ford interview to entertain us today. Has Prince Hal changed his tune on Wall Street bonuses, or health care reform? No one knows, because the Daily News reporter was not allowed to ask about "issues."
Harold Ford will leave Manhattan this week. The next stop on the would-be candidate's Listening Tour is not a 35th-floor hotel bar or legendary midtown restaurant. No—next up, Harold Ford, man of the people, is going to a castle!
