Fortune magazine wants to send all the bad Wall Street people straight to jail—for ripping you off! Do you think Fortune knows the meaning of 'cognitive dissonance?'

Bad news is still big. It's just the articles that are getting smaller. 2008 was 80 percent less dumb than 2007, according to Fortune! A year ago, Fortune readers were treated to a full 101 moments of dumbness in an end-of-year comic look-back. This year? Only 21 dumb moments to be found.

Just last month, Fortune reported on how investors are still bullish on green technology. And there's plenty in its pages about the bright future of online media. But Fortune's accountants must not read the magazine! Fortune has laid off two reporters on the cleantech beat, and all but one of its New York- and San…

So Portfolio went with a Dov Charney cover in the midst of the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression. Hey, what do you expect them to do—undo stuff that had already been planned? What are they, a daily? No, they're a monthly, and they refuse to get all worked up about anything. They must maintain their…

Is Yahoo cutting 3,000-plus jobs? A source inside the company says plans have been set to slash 3,500 jobs on December 10. And, briefly, Fortune's Techland blog agreed, reporting that Bain & Co. had recommended Yahoo cut 3,000 of its 15,000 employees. The Fortune post has been unpublished, though it still appears in…

When Fortune asked Martha Stewart to give a presentation at its "Most Powerful Women Summit" last weekend, the mag probably assumed she'd instruct the group on how to prepare the perfect rhubarb pie. Instead, Martha went all new-agey and decided what everyone really needed was to learn how to do a proper downward dog.…

In December, Fortune magazine admitted it had been remiss naming insurance giant AIG one of its "10 Stocks To Buy Now" before a yearlong 18 percent decline. "We... didn't expect [the] mortgage unit to be such an albatross," editors wrote. To correct the error, the magazine had a fresh list of "The Best Stocks For 2008…

The invite-only Fortune Brainstorm: Tech is taking over the Ritz-Carlton in Half Moon Bay through Wednesday. Dreadfully convenient for Robert Scoble, who lives in town; not for Japanese VC Joi Ito, who's jetting across the Pacific. The maelstrom of people and ideas includes the likes of Amazon.com's Jeff Bezos, the…

Apple COO Timothy Cook is the man most likely to replace co-founder and current CEO Steve Jobs according to Fortune.

This month's Fortune presents two dueling covers—John McCain and Barack Obama both promising to fix the economy. It's cute! John McCain says the greatest threat to our economy is terrorism, obviously. ("Terrorism" means "secret Muslim president.") But McCain, while he doesn't understand anything about economics, has a…

An emailer: "15 people are to be let go at Fortune mag; about 8 through buyouts." Also, "[Money executive editor] Craig Matters left to run Fortune.com, the two deputy MEs were promoted to co-ExecEd's (yes, that is a bit bizarre and not so workable) and the photo editor Jane Clark was fired Friday. Mg. Ed. Eric…

"Bethany McLean, co-author of a best-selling book about the Enron debacle, is leaving Fortune after a 13-year run to jump to Graydon Carter's Vanity Fair... It marks at least the third time that Condé Nast, which is headed by billionaire chairman S.I. Newhouse, Jr., has come calling on McLean, one of the…

While taking risks is valuable, it's only those who can successfully commercialize their breakthrough ideas who will succeed, Google cofounder Larry Page told Fortune in a feature interview.

Josh Quittner, former editor of the defunct Business 2.0, has extricated himself from his unhappy stay at Fortune by returning to Time, where he previously worked. Tellingly, Time editor Rick Stengel refers to him as a "writer" for Fortune, though he had the ostensible title of executive editor. Stengel's memo is…

Not that we're merchants of gloom, the latest figures for magazine advertising are dismal. Tallies of the number of pages carrying advertising in the first quarter, an early indicator of publishing woes, are down by double-digit percentages at news weeklies such as Time and business magazines such as Business Week.…

There is only one story ever written about Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos: That he has defied the skeptics, has had the last laugh, and is now looking to the future. Fortune's latest iteration of the formula is no exception. It begins with an obligatory near-death experience — in this case, a not-quite-fatal helicopter…

Wonkette founding editor Ana Marie Cox is a permalancer! She broke the news on Facebook and Twitter, natch. She's not leaving Time, where she's currently the Washington Editor for Time.com, but she's now a contractor instead of a staffer. She'll still blog it up for them at Swampland, as most Gawker Media alums are…

Ha ha, your medium is dying! Financial-news print outlets seeking relevance have added video to their web sites. But their work is pretty much the opposite of YouTube gold. Brett Erlich, apparently just this guy who loves web videos, makes fun of the work of the Journal, Forbes, and Fortune on this criminally…

Josh Quittner, the Fortune executive editor who's reportedly plotting his escape from his gilded cage at the magazine, has written a perfunctory profile of TechCrunch blog impresario Michael Arrington. Nothing we haven't read before — including the obligatory paragraph about Arrington's conflicts of interest in…