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New York, 9:29 PM
Tue Dec 8
47 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of laura_pinkstone laura_pinkstone
    11/29/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Amy Whitehouse would have been a better choice to lead that film than Nicole Kidman.
     Reply
    laura_pinkstone was starred laura_pinkstone was unstarred
    Image of gawksFromaRock gawksFromaRock
    11/29/08

    @laura_pinkstone: Amy Whitehouse...?


     Reply
    gawksFromaRock was starred gawksFromaRock was unstarred
    Image of Zorica Zorica
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    It's a sure sign a movie is going to tank when there's not really anything to make fun of, at least not if you haven't seen it. It's not a new idea to showbiz: You gotta get a gimmick. Hobbits, gay cowboys, psychopaths with bowlcuts, female boxers, Beyonce - all of those are ridiculous enough to grab a piece of the public's attention even if only as a punchline. This might be a great film, a really poignant portrayal of dynamic characters in a unique place. Until you have a gigantic diamond, a great pair of tits, and a slightly androgynous teen heart-throb dressing the window it's hard to convince people to look inside.


    In other words, there needs to be something controversial, something that might make your mother uncomfortable, something that feels spontaneous, as though it's producing the culture rather than responding to it. There's nothing controversial about either Kidman or Jackman. I don't mean they need to behave badly and get negative press. I mean they need to have a few strong thoughts in their heads, thoughts that can be disagreed with or passionately defended, and they need to bring these thoughts into their work. Yes it makes you vulnerable and liable to mess up pretty badly if you aren't careful. Protecting against mess-ups results in blandness.


    And blandness - or rather the perception of it, which is far more damaging - is what is killing this movie. Baz Luhrmann wrote a love letter to a country? Ok, I read love letters on blogs every day. They bore me unless I intimately know the parties involved. So either cast people who are fearless enough to be intimate with the public at large or else find a way to make your story bump it with a trumpet.


    It's not about being "deep" or even about being good. It's about being entertaining. Passion, although wildly attractive, is not actually entertaining all on its own. Sad for Luhrmann and his investors. But dude, if you want to be applauded for your passion, write a poem. If you want to make a movie that people will go see, stop worrying about applause and start worrying about interest. The stripper in the flashing pasties probably doesn't have the best tits and her customers probably spend a lot of time talking about that, but she's also probably the only stripper who got noticed by every last pair of eyes in the joint. You can't please 'em all, but being pleased is only one small part of being entertained.


    Yes I just wrote all of that about a Hollywood flop. If I was on vacation, that's all I'd do, all day.

     Reply
    Zorica was starred Zorica was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/28/08

    @Zorica: I might have gotten confused there toward the end -- which stripper are we talking about, again?


    I always have trouble focusing when the ecdysiast's art is the subject.

     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of Zorica Zorica
    11/29/08

    @skahammer: Essentially my comment was a long-winded meditation on the pearls of wisdom contained in the "mediocre stripper" scene from Gypsy.


    My final paragraph can basically be summarized by the stripper in this video at approximately 2:40.


    And if you want my entire essay, just watch the whole damn thing.


    "To be a stripper all you need is no talent."


    "Excuse me, but no talent it not enough! What you need is an idea! Something to make you strip . . . special.

     Reply
    Zorica was starred Zorica was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/29/08

    @Zorica: You were just waiting for someone to ask, so you could post that clip, weren't you?


    God, Zorica, you are teh adorable.

     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of Zorica Zorica
    11/29/08

    @skahammer: Actually, I was waiting for someone to ask why I'm not on vacation this weekend, so I could say that there is actually a pool in my family betting on when, exactly, I'll get to take a vacation again, and right now the odds are heavily favoring "Before the Freedom Tower is completed but after Osama bin Laden wins a blue ribbon at the flying-pig rodeo."


    But then you posted your question and I realized not everyone in the world hears "so I unh and I unh and I unh unh unh" when they read the word "gimmick." Really I think every school child ought to be introduced to that scene at some point. I was 10 when I first saw it and I have to say, the reference point of the electric bikini has come in handy ever since.

     Reply
    Zorica was starred Zorica was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    I refuse to spend money to see Nicole Kidman try to act with her face paralyzed. No one's eyes are that expressive, St. Tyra be damned.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of gawksFromaRock gawksFromaRock
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Letterman went after her face Monday on his show:

     Reply
    gawksFromaRock was starred gawksFromaRock was unstarred
    Image of VirusWithShoes VirusWithShoes
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Talent or no talent - I'd still fuck Nicole Kidman until her face moved.


    Yes. I'm a "long-stayer". Deal with it.

     Reply
    VirusWithShoes was starred VirusWithShoes was unstarred
    Image of Proofer3 Proofer3
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Hey, guess what? This movie is by Australians - about Australia . They don't care if Americans don't 'get it'. I predict this movie will be as enduring as the last Australian movie that was enduring, "Gallipoli'". I bet y'all don't have a clue what that's about either.
     Reply
    Proofer3 was starred Proofer3 was unstarred
    Image of trucha trucha
    11/28/08

    @Proofer3: Is Gallipoli that movie with Mel Gibson being chased around by guys wearing leather underwear and spiked collars?
     Reply
    trucha was starred trucha was unstarred
    Image of VirusWithShoes VirusWithShoes
    11/28/08

    @trucha: No - it's the one where Mel runs through the trenches away from the nasty Jews.
     Reply
    VirusWithShoes was starred VirusWithShoes was unstarred
    Image of trucha trucha
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Had they replaced Jackman's character with an American emigrant played by Kevin Costner this movie might have had more substance. Maybe even including Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones as evil cattle barons.
     Reply
    trucha was starred trucha was unstarred
    Image of VirusWithShoes VirusWithShoes
    11/28/08

    @trucha: They should have had Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones as evil carrot barons.


    Now that's a fucking movie, mate!

     Reply
    VirusWithShoes was starred VirusWithShoes was unstarred
    Image of richardmarxhatesmyhair richardmarxhatesmyhair
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Is this different than the movie about the guy that pulls out a machete and exclaims in the harshest of Aussie accents "Now THIS is a knife"?
     Reply
    richardmarxhatesmyhair was starred richardmarxhatesmyhair was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    I predicted this would be cinema's version of egg sweat. These two (Kidman and Jackman) haven't had a hit in years, they are both prone to overacting and under acting simultaneously, and no one cares about a movie starring Australians in a movie about Australia. Couldn't they have done a documentary with some cute joeys, an aboriginal shaman, and some shrimp and called it a day? I mean that's all us Americans really care about, right? Oh, and saying, "G'day, mate!" Hah! That's it. Really that's all.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Back in the 70's my grandparents were on a world cruise and their ship made port in Melbourne (or Adelaide, or something like that). A classmate of my grandfather's owned a large sheep ranch a few hours drive from the port and he really wanted to see the operation. So accordingly they hired a car and driver to take them there and back. I dimly remember my grandmother telling my mother the story and mentioning that she had been terrified that their driver would pull over in the middle of nowhere and kill them for their money and jewelry. When asked why her reply was that "THEY'RE ALL DESCENDED FROM THIEVES, YOU KNOW." So what can you expect, really..
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    11/28/08

    @oyvehisyou: Even worse, they all descended from the Irish.
     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    @SarahHeartburn: A chill just ran down my spine.. To think that they so narrowly escaped certain death (by ballad).
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/28/08

    @SarahHeartburn: Oi! Leave the Irish out of this!
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of dontmindifidid dontmindifidid
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Baby Head Kidman is Box Office Poison. pass it on.
     Reply
    dontmindifidid was starred dontmindifidid was unstarred
    Image of Lizawithazee Lizawithazee
    11/28/08

    @dontmindifidid: Careful with that Box Office Poison talk, or next week we'll read in Variety that Kidman's just been cast in a remake of Mildred Pierce. The horror!
     Reply
    Lizawithazee was starred Lizawithazee was unstarred
    Image of SinisterRouge SinisterRouge
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    I was so hoping this movie would be good--being that everyone involved is Aussie and shit. Apparently not.
     Reply
    SinisterRouge was starred SinisterRouge was unstarred
    Image of nanashi nanashi
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    is this the one where the kangaroos and aboriginies dance around ayers rock while drinking foster's and eating onion blossoms and over-seasoned steaks and then boomerang each other to death?


    ...oh wait, no, this one has real Austrailians. Nap Time!

     Reply
    nanashi was starred nanashi was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    11/28/08

    @nanashi: Don't forget the croc(s)!
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of PimpMyCouch PimpMyCouch
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Richard, I think you secretly love to say "we told you so". That's okay, everyone does.
     Reply
    PimpMyCouch was starred PimpMyCouch was unstarred
    Image of BullfightsOnAcid BullfightsOnAcid
    11/28/08

    @PimpMyCouch: My mother and my wife have the same disease. Nothing makes them happier.
     Reply
    BullfightsOnAcid was starred BullfightsOnAcid was unstarred
    Image of Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
    11/28/08

    @BullfightsOnAcid: It's not so much a saying as it is a smug look of satisfaction. I love getting to use it!
     Reply
    Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith was starred Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/28/08

    In reply to Australia Does Not Celebrate Thanksgiving
    And to think Luhrmann could have saved this film had he only used the ending where the dingoes ate everyone.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    @Private Hangnail: Really? They ate EVERYONE? I stopped caring after the dingos ate my baby.
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/28/08

    @oyvehisyou: You think it was bad with just the one baby eaten? When they eat everyone, well, you really learn a lesson.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of dandles dandles
    11/28/08

    @Private Hangnail: I think dingoes only like baby meat. It's more tender.
     Reply
    dandles was starred dandles was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    @Private Hangnail: Ah-- but if no one is LEFT to learn the lesson, is it really learned?
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/28/08

    @dandles: You should try Botox face meat. It's so soft you'll think you're eating the soft meat of clouds.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/28/08

    @oyvehisyou: The dingoes learn a lesson, maybe.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    @Private Hangnail: Sure, but after the first few mouthfuls you become slack-jawed and loose the ability to chew (or have facial expressions). There is NOTHING worse than slobbering, slack-jawed dingos.
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of VirusWithShoes VirusWithShoes
    11/28/08

    @Private Hangnail: The dingoes ate your Oscar!
     Reply
    VirusWithShoes was starred VirusWithShoes was unstarred
    Image of Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
    11/28/08

    @VirusWithShoes: All I know is that those damn Aussie Dingos up and stole this weeks' Commies!!
     Reply
    Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was starred Oy Veh (Informality Reigns) was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    11/28/08

    @VirusWithShoes: Yes, those dingoes are a selfish lot. I was hoping they'd give me a sporty hatchback, but no, the bastards ate my grandmother.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
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