Whenever something serious happens, the internet does its best to become distracted by minor characters and occurrences only tangentially related to the actual news story.

Alas, post-Sandy New York is not all feel-good tales of entrepreneurial ingenuity and upscale Halal carts; there's also been some looting. Police arrested 15 people in the Far Rockaway section of Queens and nine others in Coney Island, including one woman who was charged with possession of a firearm after police found…

Is "Hurricane Crush" a thing? Let's make it a thing. Lydia Calas, who's been interpreting Mayor Mike Bloomberg's various Hurricane Sandy press conferences into American Sign Language, is clearly New York's Hurricane Crush, thanks to her engaging expressive skills. Just listen to Twitter:

As Hurricane Sandy, now combined with a Nor'easter, bears down on the mid-Atlantic, people everywhere are looking for answers: will I be safe? What should I do? Where should I go? And most importantly, what shadowy organization, group, or cosmic force is manipulating the weather to cause this terrible storm? Luckily,…

In order to keep readers updated on Frankenstorm safety bulletins, the New York Times has temporarily lifted its paywall for online articles. It has also temporarily lifted its policy of not posting absurd shit.

If a hurricane makes landfall in a forest, and no one's there to Instagram it, did it really make landfall at all?

Unfortunately, when disaster strikes it affects not only the wretched Normals, but also a better, brighter class of people: Celebrities. Here's how they're handling it so far:

Sandy is here, and like many of you, we have no idea what that means in scientific terms. All we know is that it's windy and rainy and we just blew all of our money on batteries and booze, so this better be real.

Peter Doocy, a "Fox News General Assignment reporter" and son of the notable Fox and Friends personality Steve Doocy, brings us the first reporter wipeout related to Hurricane Sandy. Was this wipeout attributable to 45 mph winds or severe flooding? No, unfortunately. Poor Peter Doocy stepped off the dock and got his…

Somers Point, New Jersey is currently feeling the watery wrath of Sandy, but this chill dude doesn't seem to mind.

The 16-member crew of the HMS Bounty, a replica vessel modeled after its 18th century namesake, was forced to abandon ship after a collision with Hurricane Sandy off the coast of Cape Hatteras caused the ship to start taking on water at an uncontrollable rate.

Last Friday, we told you everything you needed to know in order to defeat Frankenstorm. Now, with the surge mere hours away, we want to see how dearly you value your life and also how you decorate your apartment.

In times of fear and anxiety, of uncertainty and danger, when the winds are howling and the sky is crashing down — where do you turn? You turn to the shirtless guy in the horse mask jogging in the background of NBC's live coverage of Frankenstorm Sandy in Washington, D.C.

Despite the National Weather Service issuing death threats and Mayor Bloomberg issuing threat-boners, Lindsay Lohan is chilling in bliss wondering what everyone is getting all excited about.

Hurricane Sandy may have been hundreds of miles away from Midtown Manhattan yesterday morning, but thousands of comedy fans were already walking around with a cloud over their heads.

Ever wondered what New York City's subways and train stations would look like after some sort of apocalyptic event? Well, the photos on the MTA's Flickr page right now give you a good idea.

Were you thinking about not taking Hurricane Sandy seriously? Do you not find Bloomberg's warnings adequately stimulating? Are you treating Frankenstorm as an excuse to just get drunk and play hooky from work? Well, if so, the National Weather Service in Mt. Holly, New Jersey wants you to know that THE STORM IS NO…