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No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Why Can't The DEA Get Over Mary-Kate Olsen?

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forwardmotion
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
At this point I would take being adopted by Madonna or Giselle. Neither gig seems too bad. Both of them would involve my own swimming pool and pony.
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City_Dater
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Richard, Britney had just better snap you up to write her biography in ten years.
She needs you!
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AuntPenny
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Okay, Giselle said WHAT?!
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Dear Blond Diary
03/30/09

@AuntPenny: is Giselle confused about how babies are actually made?
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AuntPenny
03/30/09

@Dear Blond Diary: And does she have no respect for the child's mother? I've been in Bridget's shoes....except I don't have her money, but whatever, Giselle needs to step off.
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limber
03/30/09

@AuntPenny: Oh, bleh. I have a hard time getting angry at a woman who apparently says "I love my stepson and am 100% his parent". She's his stepmother, she's been in a parenting position with him since he was born, and invested stepmothers are generally pretty responsible and dedicated stepmothers, in my experience.
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AuntPenny
03/30/09

@limber: As a mother, I find her statement to be 100% offensive. Brady's son is not her child, and he never will be her child. I'm glad we're not vilifying stepparents anymore, but it's gone too far the other way. It's egregious. Good on her for being a responsible stepmother, but it is in poor taste and without any decency to claim another woman's child as your own unless you have legally adopted that child.
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limber
03/30/09

@AuntPenny: I guess I just see it as more of a pro-child statement, rather than a hit on the kid's mother. It's not as if Giselle considering him "100% her son" takes away from Bridget's mom-percentage.
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Calraigh
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
I just want you to know Richard, that if you ever decide to collect up all your recaps and your roundups and the general contents of your brain and put them all into a book made of paper, I would buy it and read it and leave it on my bedside locker and use it as an anti-ohfuckitallwhat'sthepointI'm goingtojumpoutthewindownow- device.

Yes.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
03/30/09

@Calraigh:

Wouldn't that be so much more advance-worthy than a collection of twitters?

Your readers demand: Richard's Rollicking Rancor - the Gawker Years.
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Calraigh
03/30/09

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: That is a humdinger of a title all right.
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Cheap Shot
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Wow, this was one of the most amazing gossip round up posts. Bravo!
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Lizawithazee
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
This boy sure can turn a phrase or ten.
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Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
She wanted him to shake his box of chocolates? I don't blame him for not doing it--it IS kind of allegorical. After all, Life is like a box of chocolates (Although THAT is a metaphor, I guess). In related news, all of those bon-bons have given him one HELL of a fat butt.
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SarahHeartburn
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Madonna as a calcium deposit. You have a fine future in front of you, young man.
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dado
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Catacombs, nursery bones, winter women growing stones, carrying babies to the river, the cat playing nintendo, the monk bought lunch.
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jrhys
03/30/09

@dado: I know right?
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FormerEnglishMajor
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
"raining hats and matchsticks" warmed my heart.
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pureblarney
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Save the Children, a charitable organization whose mission is unclear...

I beg to differ. Save the Children is one of the leading philanthropic organizations of the world. Its mission is, and I quote, "[To create] lasting change for children in need in the United States and around the world." I sponsor a kiddo through them, and I couldn't be prouder.

Also, re: Madonna-- it's kind of true, no?
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SaraRueful
03/30/09

@pureblarney: Um, I'm thinking Richard was being funny with the "unclear" thing. (Also, hint: a lot of things in these items were not actually in the sources!!
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SaraRueful
03/30/09

@SaraRueful: close parens
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Calraigh
03/30/09

@pureblarney: That she's a calcium deposit with a hat? Absolutely.
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Banjo-Sea Kitten
03/30/09

@pureblarney: anyway, Blarney, something about your post warms my heart on a chilly Monday morning. I love the little ones too and when I have access to a TV, I watch the other charity show, Feed The Children with those southern people. I always cry. (I hope they are not crooked, those two!)

I think there is a net gain when a crazy famous lady lifts a child or two out of abject poverty. It's got to come back around as a good thing even if said children grow to hate the famous lady and her no wire hangers obsession, let's just say, for example.
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scroll_lock
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Pop Lusitania. Richard, you are the best ever.
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DaeSu
03/30/09

In reply to No Celebrity Should Ever Have a Baby, Ever Again
Great post, Richard, although I can't decide if your considerable venom is directed at the celebrities you're writing about or the fact that you have to write about them in the first place.
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jrhys
03/30/09

@DaeSu:It pleases my cold black heart either way.
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