It's becoming increasingly clear that if you're famous and want to cheat you should do it in a boring way. Under no circumstances should you pick a string of money hungry women, leave smutty messages, crash your car, fight with your wife, refuse to speak to police and then top it all off by renegotiating your pre-nup and adding money to the heady mix of sex and violence, as came out today. At this rate the Woods story won't die until about 2030, when we're all flying around with jetpacks and eating food pills.

The other top stories of the day:

• The New York Times answers the 'what's going to happen in Pakistan' question on the strategy for the region. More drone attacks.
• The LA Times looks inside the decision to name a deadline for an Afghanistan pullout.
• The Washington Post meanwhile, takes a look at the other war, you know, the one we forgot, in, um... some middle-eastern country. Definitely starts with 'I'.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: leads with the news that Obama's strategy in Pakistan seems to be more drone attacks. The rest of the news is domestic — Columbia lost an eminent domain battle to expand their campus, there's a new battleground on abortion (which is exactly what we need in the run-up to a healthcare reform vote) and Obama wants to get us all jobs. There is a truly excellent detail in this story about Comcast buying NBC Universal — Disney-ABC president Anne Sweeney insisted her daughter take a TV to college, even though said daughter preferred to watch on the internet. And they're vaccinating cows against e-coli, to stop us getting it from beef.

The Washington Post: remembers the forgotten war — the one the White House press people have successfully made us forget about — with a piece on the withdrawal from Iraq. Senators weren't very nice to Ben Bernanke at his confirmation hearing for a second term as Federal Reserve chairman, but they might be nice to Harry Reid when he tries to get them to vote for healthcare reform. The Comcast/NBC Universal deal gets a look in, and Maryland has decided to be nice to oysters.

The LA Times: takes its turn to run a positive economic story — that the bank bailout is paying off for the government. It's not all good news though, as retail sales are still down. There's a great inside look at the deliberations behind Obama's decision to name a pullout date for Afghanistan and news of potential regulatory problems for the Comcast/NBC Universal deal. Roman Polanski should have faced the music in 1978, instead of running away, and a nice feature about the sporting (and unsporting) rivalry between Dorsey High and Crenshaw High in South LA.

The Wall Street Journal: covers Ben Bernanke's confirmation hearing in the wildly non-diverse Senate. Football, by contrast, is getting more melting pot-like. There's a look at Dubai's woes, which are irresistible to the very same newspapers that reported its rise. And an interesting look at terrorism in Somalia, possibly perpetrated by Al Qaeda.

The New York Post: concentrates on Tiger Woods renegotiating his prenup at great expense. Which seems ridiculous, because then what's the point of a pre-nup. But still.

The Daily News: goes with the same story, but runs a picture of Woods' wife Elin, not his mistress Rachel. As the former is much more attractive and far classier, the tabloid front page award goes to the News.

Post-Tribune: this should be heartwarming, but there is something about this story, and the picture, that is slightly disconcerting. Maybe it's the use of 'only'. Surely he wants something else? Something fun, and childlike and not featuring an octuagenarian pontiff.

Politiken (Denmark): purely for the font.

The papers have some analysis of Obama's decision on Afghanistan — which will doubtless iterate into meaninglessness or outlandish opinions for the sake of being different within a week. Tiger Woods makes the front on the tabloids and also the Wall Street Journal. But only one paper takes the opportunity to run a picture of his wife looking hot.

The other top stories of the day:

• The New York Times laments the death of the roll-down shutter on storefronts.
• The Washington Post goes street. They don't have feuds or battles an more, they have beefs.
• The Wall Street Journal is back on form with one great piece of journalism (about Iranians in New York whose families back home are victimized when they criticize the government) and a great piece of silliness (about men revealing more chest).

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: seem genuinely taken aback that the gay marriage bill did not pass the New York state senate. By contrast they concentrate on the upsides of Bank of America paying back its federal bailout money — they go so far as to call it a milestone in the recovery we hear so much about. There are two stories on President Obama's Afghanistan decision and pieces on the death of roll-down storefront shutters in New York and new rules to combat brain damage in the NFL.

The Washington Post: takes the role of the pot in calling the kettle black as it announces the Washington Times is to downsize and change its role. They also use the word 'beefs' to refer to feuds in a headline. Which is pretty street of them. There's a piece on the disproportionately local impact of the stimulus, just one follow-up story on the Obama decision and a report on a new way of getting natural gas.

The LA Times: leads with news that the Federal Housing Administration want mo money from people before it stumps up for housing. There are two follow-up pieces on the Afghanistan news, a look at the NBC Universal/Comcast deal and a feature on the composer Thomas Newman (who did the plinky-plonky theme from American Beauty).

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news that Bank of America is to pay back its bailout money — but emphasizes that one of the reasons for doing so is so they can get round rules on executive compensation and hire them an expensive new CEO. They run a big picture on the Tiger Woods apology and the de rigueur second-day analysis of the Afghanistan decision. There's the kind of local reporting the Journal wants to do more of in this great piece on the long arm of the Iranian government reaching New York to oppress its citizens abroad. And the news that more men are revealing chest hair.

The New York Post: was clearly too busy with Photoshop and did not read Spencer Morgan's piece in the Observer yesterday, or they would realize that this pun now means Tiger is a 30-something predatory lady.

The Daily News: takes the opportunity to run a picture of Mrs. Woods looking hot.

Star Bulletin, Honolulu: may have found an recovery! And a local man is about to go and play the ukulele for the Queen of England. Which makes you realize how many obscure instrumental performances heads of state must see.

De Standaard (Belgium): we could do with more soothing, oceanic front-page imagery like this (although the story seems to be about climate change disaster). Instead of pictures of politicians or carnage, why not kittens or puppies?

Apart from the Post the rest of the papers go big on the far more serious and important news about Obama's Afghanistan plan. Most opt for a news story and some analysis as a troop-levels package. The New York Times and Los Angeles Times feel the news merits one of those page-width headlines they reserve for special occasions.

The other top stories of the day:

• The New York Times looks at the upside of the financial crisis — Canadian NHL teams have it better.
• The Washington Post investigates the Salahis and their annual polo cup.
• The Wall Street Journal takes a slightly different angle on the news that GM's chief is stepping down.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: have a very sober tiny piece about Tiger Woods at the bottom of the page. But they pull out the full-width headline for Obama's Afghanistan troop announcement. Three pieces look at different aspects of the plan — Dexter Filkins on the role Afghans will play, Sheryl Gay Stolberg and Helene Cooper with the straight news story and Peter Baker and Adam Nagourney on the politics. Obviously they used the heads-up on the speech to prepare. Below the fold there are pieces on the financial strength of the Canadian Dollar and its impact on the NHL, healthcare for American Indians and a look at an electric car scheme in Denmark. Where else?

The Washington Post: only has two Obama Afghanistan stories. Losers! But then to be fair there was a lot of DC-specific news — the first step to approving gay marriage in the district has been taken and the Salahis never cease to be Salahi-cious. There's also news of the resignation of the government-appointed GM chief.

The LA Times: also go all big-headline on the Afghanistan news and run the now-traditional one-two punch of a news story and some analysis. They also have the news that the GM chief is resigning as well as a local story about safety concerns on public transit. The feature-y piece today comes from Indonesia and the words 'seduce' and 'elephant' appear in the same sentence in it.

The Wall Street Journal: usually manages to buck the front page trends, but today has opted for the Afghanistan story and the GM story as its leads. Also on the front is discussion of a new role for the Fed. And apparently today is front page hockey stories day.

The New York Post: should win some kind of award for today's issue. Tiger's Birdies is the best headline of the scandal so far. Come out of the Woodswork? Please. References to paws and sex drive? Check. Because nothing can be entirely good, they also have an annoying article about the Afghanistan troop levels which manages to totally miss the point.

The Daily News: decided it wanted to be serious today. They lead with the Afghanistan story, go big on the Gotti trial and have a non-pun box for Woods. Could do better.

Boston Herald: this is more like it! A new pun!

Wshington Examiner: manages, I think, to sexualize the Afghanistan story with this slightly odd headline. And thus combines the two big stories of the day in one.

If you're in the Iranian government you can't do anything without it being a defiant vow, apparently. As endless nuclear threats begin to sound hollow, expect to see 'defiant Iranian minister vows to get parking validated,' or 'Iranian official defiantly vows that if his salad box can be held shut, he has not overfilled it' on the front pages. Tiger Woods must have been hoping for a bigger story to save his bacon and allow his scandal to slip under the radar. Sadly for him, Michael Jackson died already.

The other top stories of the day:

• The New York Times investigates a high-fashion alligator skin conspiracy.
• The Washington Post says the Republican party knows it doesn't like Obama, but is a bit confused apart from that.
• The Wall Street Journal takes a hard-hitting look inside the agony of bagel injuries.
• And the Post and News duke it out over the Woods story. Spare a thought for the reporters from each paper sat in a car somewhere outside the homes of everyone even tangentially related to the scandal.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: reassures investors in Dubai with a story about the United Arab Emirates offer to shore up banks that operate there. It's not all good news for rich people though — there is scandal in the world of high-fashion alligator skins. The paper either follow up the story last week on swamps in Indonesia releasing lots of carbon dioxide, or they got scooped and decided to repurpose the reporting. The Washington reporters have been busy finding out more about Obama's speech on Afghanistan strategy tomorrow and Iran's threats to build more nuclear plants. The Metro desk meanwhile, have been talking to a lot of angry public school teachers about the growth of charter schools. Also, tiny at the bottom of the page, is a gossipy plug for a Tiger Woods story. You know you're in trouble when the Times can't resist an A1 mention.

The Washington Post: has risen above mentioning the Tiger Woods scandal. It leads with a poll that seeks to find the soul of the Republican party — and instead finds that the two most representative leaders are still Sarah Palin and John McCain. If that groundswell continues they can at least recycle the 2008 posters for 2012. The paper look at the imminent Afghanistan announcement with a story on Pakistan's role in the conflict, and also report Iran's 'vow' to continue a nuclear program. There's a piece on the cost of the healthcare bill and the news that cunning students are opting to start at community college then transfer to prestigious private schools to save money.

The LA Times: by dint of geographic proximity, the LAT leads with the shooting of four police officers in Seattle. They have the biggest broadsheet story about Tiger Woods, and also run pieces on Afghanistan and on Iran's latest threat. Monday is apparently college news day, as there's a story here about UC Irvine offering a video games course. Today's poetic feature effort comes from Egypt — I read about 500 words but the journalist was too busy waxing lyrical to bother saying what it was about.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news on efforts to shore up Dubai's struggling economy. Iran makes the front here too. The paper also report the latest corporate strategy for survival in this economy, and the rise of bagel-related injuries.

The New York Post: does it! They finally get a great pun on the front.

The Daily News: parses Woods' statement yesterday and comes up with a sort-of admission of guilt. Inside there's also news that his alleged mistress has sought legal advice from celeb lawyer Gloria Allred. Which doesn't look suspicious at all.

Tampa Bay Times: surely this is a little dramatic? It's kind of a local story for them, but still.

Townsville Bulletin (Australia): adds to news of the woes of crocodile and alligator professionals.

The stories of the day:

• The New York Times sends a reporter to bankruptcy court. He finds it's full of people who lost everything because they got sick and insurance companies are scumbags.
• The paper also report on the anguish of those who have had to fly home to their families early, to save money, and spend more time with them.
• The Washington Post says they'll probably be doing the same next year — the economic recovery will be slow.
• The LA Times looks further afield and sends a gripping report of refugee smuggling in North Korea.
• The Wall Street Journal straps a journalist into a pie-proof vest to examine the California bakery that has had to hire a bouncer because people fight over its goods.
• And the New York Post applauds a judge who decided to wipe all mortgage debts for a couple because the bank were so terrible. Happy Thanksgiving!

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: leads with the Afghanistan story, but gives equal prominence to a piece of news that may cause as much anxiety as Obama's decision - that people will be spending longer with their families over Thanksgiving because they're flying earlier to get cheaper fares. There's a great look at the personal cost of the current healthcare system, a follow-up on the New York Post's story yesterday about suspected scammers at the United Homeless Organization and new that the Atlantic Yards development will move forward. Finally there's a somewhat sickening look at the dangers of The Biggest Loser. It involves someone peeing blood.

The Washington Post: in what might be a deliberate decision, the Post has no front page stories that are not local or politics — the two areas that it is cutting back other newsrooms to concentrate on. There's the Afghanistan decision, with analysis, and a report that the economic recovery will be slow. The obituary of Washington Wizards owner Abe Pollin is the main story above the fold, and a continuation of the murder story that began yesterday below it.

The LA Times: is showing off a little today. They have correspondents in Seoul, to report on the smuggling of refugees from North Korea, Kabul to report on the intelligence battle there, Minneapolis to investigate the terror cell that made news yesterday and DC for the Afghanistan troop levels. It's like they're reporting in 2000 or something. There's just one local story - about a probe into the giant California pension fund.

The Wall Street Journal: is the only paper that runs a front page image to go with the Afghanistan story. Another battle — to save Swedish carmaker Saab — is covered underneath that. There's some positive news too: the Obama administration's push to solve America's energy problems is reinvigorating science. And some negative a bakery in California has had to hire a bouncer to avoid fights over Thanksgiving pies.

The New York Post:has a heartwarming Thanksgiving tale: the homeowners who got a $525,000 mortgage wiped out by a judge because the bank were mean.

The Daily News: also leads with the Afghanistan news.

Ventura County Star: says santas, including this cuddly fellow, will not wear anti-swine-flu masks while children sit on their knees. They are, however, guzzling Emergen-C and going down doctors' chimneys to demand vaccines.

Star (Malaysia): among entirely serious news is the bizarre headline, under a picture of Adam Lambert: 'I'm the sexy man.'

The story, with its irresistible blend of drama and detail, is the most frequently front-paged of the day. Apart from that, each paper seems to be airing the off-diary journalism, the features and quirkier angles, they've been looking for an opportunity to run. Which is actually a lot of fun for readers, many of whom must be sick of reading about troop levels in Afghanistan and the fools on the hill. Today we get a some gripping local tales - the boy who ran away and rode the subway for 11 days, the murder mystery in DC, the fear in a homeless community along the LA river - that it would be nice to see more of even when important things were happening.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: looks towards the aptly-named Black Friday with a piece on discount wars between Amazon and Wal-Mart. In other wars of attrition news, a prisoner swap is looking likely in the middle east (although other reports say it is more dubious) and the Iranian government is stifling the opposition. But some people are working together! The left and the right both hate the expansion of the criminal justice system - so expect to see a Glenn Beck/Keith Olbermann joint campaign soon. Everyone likes it when terrorism investigations are unsealed - you get a story delivered complete, like this. And finally the tale of a 13-year-old boy who ran away from home and spent 11 days riding the subway around the city.

The Washington Post: everyone loves a murder mystery - look out for the use of the word 'okay' in a quote. It really makes you think the boyfriend did it. The unsealed terror charges against a group of Somali Americans make the front here too, nuclear power is back, a staggering 34.5 per cent of young black men are unemployed and, at the other end of the spectrum, property owners fight to keep their beaches in Florida.

The LA Times: has one of those embedded-with-the-marines in Afghanistan stories that used to be all the rage but have recently made way for tales of internecine fighting among the top ranks over troop numbers. There's another front page standby here - the science-y giant telescope story, the feature is about violence along the LA river, Californians should use less water and the terror charges get another airing.

The Wall Street Journal: has further evidence that the recovery is nothing more than wishful thinking. Although people are buying a lot of gold. Barack Obama sucks at golf, which is actually something of a relief, and a new direction for Gucci.

The New York Post:has one of those 'we all knew it' stories about the United Homeless Front panhandlers - apparently, those who yell at commuters for money are not strictly above board. Related: Ronald McDonald is scary.

The Daily News: continues its anti-gun campaign with news that South Carolina has a gun sale on Friday. The picture inside - of an old redneck holding a gold Desert Eagle underneath a US flag would have been the front page of the year.

The Bakersfield Californian: completely disagrees with the Wall Street Journal about the housing market. Fight!

Las Ultimas Noticias (Chile): and the hairstyle of the day award goes to...

We should all move to Ethiopia, or catch enormous fish from tiny boats — stories about farming in Africa and tuna fishing from kayaks are pretty well the only bright spots. It's one of those days where there's no clear lead story. The only theme is doom and gloom; maybe the editors have seen 2012, or read Going Rogue, and are so fearful for the future that they feel they must warn us. Even the princess and pauper story of the Upper East Side model who fought her neighbors to marry a staffer at her building has a nasty twist. There's always tomorrow...

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has some cheery financial news - the enormous quantity of debt the US must service will cost $700bn a year, and some cheery water-quality news too, that is best summed up in a quote: "untreated feces and industrial waste started spilling from emergency relief valves." The NFL is responding to a spate of recent stories on the brain-damage football can cause, there's a test case for terrorism detainees, Chuck Rangel is defiant and this man thought it would be a good idea to catch 157lb bluefin tuna from a kayak.

The Washington Post: contrasts the startlingly obvious with the completely unexpected above the fold - the public option is contentious in the healthcare debate and Western nations are flocking to get farmland in Ethiopia. There's a dramatic tale about the difficulty of tracking sex offenders (is there any other kind?), a study on the Moonies and more conflicts of interest may arise in congress now lawmakers have bigger stock portfolios.

The LA Times: is the paper that loves drugs. About three days a week they run with a drug story. They also love pictures of men with guns, and today's accompanies an Afghanistan story. While the Post have news that Ethiopia is blooming, the LAT reports struggles for Egyptian farmers. There's a slighty interesting new way to look at the vote-gathering for healthcare reform and the cunning stunts mall owners in California will go to to attract customers.

The Wall Street Journal: if in doubt, and you can't think of a clear, clever headline, always alliterate. And the world is still falling aparthee, in new ways: fears of a W-shaped recession (two dips) may be well-founded, spray tans can give you a fake six pack and no-one updates Wikipedia any more.

The New York Post: takes its turn to lead with a the kind of gruesome, dramatic crime that the city seems to specialize in.

The Daily News: have given the Upper East Side model who was lionized for marrying a staffer at her building a lesson in media backlashes.

Montgomery Advertiser: we have to go to Alabama for a positive story, accompanied by a picture to warm the cockles of your heart. And an opportunity to dig this out of the archives.

The Gleaner (Jamaica): if this is not the best newspaper name ever, I don't know what is. They do not report. They glean. They also probably accumulate, amass, ascertain, conclude, cull, deduce, extract, garner, gather, harvest, learn, pick, reap, select, sift and winnow, according to a list of synonyms. Good newspaper names all!

Cervical cancer screenings are being added to the wider debate about healthcare today. Only the New York Times offers any sober analysis of the wider issue here - whether expensive healthcare to save only a few lives is justifiable. Other than that there's no real consensus on the story of the day. News that Tim Geithner is under concerted attack by Congress makes a couple of the front pages, but frankly is something of a non-story. Find a day when Congress is not doing something whacky, and some member of the administration is not under attack. The real joy today is in spotting the puns and sly innuendos in the tabloid reporting of the story of an Upper East Side foot model who married a porter in her building and may now be evicted as a result. Why the broadsheets do not think this is front pages news is a mystery. Just because it's frivolous, doesn't mean it's not interesting.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: leads with the story that there is now a debate on cervical cancer tests, to go with the one on mammograms. There is some much-needed analysis of both confusing issues too. Given equal prominence is the news that the air defences put in place after 9/11 — to specifically target people trying to fly planes into skyscrapers — are to be looked at to see if they're really necessary. There's a nice in-depth look at the woes of the University of California, who are making swingeing cuts while they hike fees by 32 per cent. There's the end of the Oprah Winfrey show and the end of State Senator Bruno's alleged misuse of his public office.

The Washington Post: unleashed the big guns and sent Rajiv Chandrasekaran to Afghanistan. He reports that the US and Karzai are learning to love each other again. Congress, which is increasingly resembling a wrestling match, is upset that Obama can't wave a magic wand and make the economy better. Republicans are calling on Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner to resign. Nearby, Harry Reid is seeking the 60 votes he needs to move to a final debate on healthcare reform. There's more ladyparts healthcare news and a nice feature, following one young man, on the lack of black pilots in the air force.

The LA Times: has the cervical cancer screening news below the fold and leads with a story about health workers who will now be subject to up to 104 drug tests in their first year. In other health news; the regents at the University of California may be unpopular for raising fees, but they've also helped reopen a hospital. Politics only makes the front page today in the form of allegations that the White House interfered in the investigation of the mayor of Sacramento for financial misdeeds and inappropriate behavior. Oprah is quitting her show! Who knew? And the paper send their roving reporter to New York today, to talk to some unpaid actors. She probably didn't have to look far.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner is under attack. For which they have found an excellent 'out of time' picture. They've made an interesting choice to run the story about yesterday's problems with air traffic control on the front. Which is probably a good idea considering the number of people flying next week. There's union trouble in India and the story that gets a picture on the front of the LA Times gets some words here - buffalo in California are to go on birth control.

The New York Post: there are just too many good quotes in this story about "the Heidi Klum of foot models" who may be evicted for marrying a porter in her building. Everyone hates them! Someone hit her husband in the nuts! Almost every line is a wonder of foot-based puns. This is why we need tabloids!

The Daily News: the News are slightly less pun-tastic than the Post on the foot model story, but gets into more depth. They also have news on the Gotti trial.

Newsday: apparently the people of Long Island care more about Oprah's quitting than anyone else today. They devote almost the whole cover to it. Also, she is clearly waving hello here, not goodbye. Also also, the next front page is slightly NSFW.

Amazonia Hoje (Brazil): this is dreadfully sexist, you're probably thinking. How dare they show a topless woman on the front when they don't have a topless man on the... oh, what's that in the background. Fair and balanced! If anyone can speak Portuguese and shed any light on why Obama is depicted as a pig, that would be nice.

Newspapers love a price, or a percentage or something to officially impose order on the disordered world. Which is probably why they all trumpet the cost of the Senate healthcare bill at the tops of their stories. It is ridiculous and pointless unless it is contrasted with the current system, which is outlandishly expensive. The bill may literally cost hundreds of billions, but it is replacing a system that costs more and still leaves thousands dead, bankrupt, miserable or a combination of the three. The reform may in fact represent a saving. Taking just the cost - saying the "PACKAGE COSTS $849 BILLION" like the Washington Post, and every other paper, does, is disingeneuous and dangerous and fuels the misunderstanding many people have that the bill is fiscally irresponsible. The current system is actually fiscally irresponsible and cruel. Even if changing it was expensive, it would still be worth it. But it's not, so why report a bald figure that means nothing and will confuse people?

Luckily there's some other news to help distract from this. About Katrina being the fault of the army, the cleric who inspired the Fort Hood shooter and Derek Jeter's vacation. Click away!

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: runs a picture of Hillary Clinton in a bizarre jacket that looks like something Chairman Mao might have worn on an avant-garde day. Close readers of the Afghanistan story that accompanies it might read into the fact that she's laughing with Ambassador Eikenberry (wants no more troops) and General McChrystal (wants lots more troops) is looking dour in the background. The news that the Senate has finally released its version of the healthcare reform bill is greeted as promising, and the conflicting advice on mammograms takes another turn. The Times does what the Times does best in two stories - one on the wider ideological impact of Islamic cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, who communicated with the Fort Hood shooter and the other on the accidental shooting in the Bronx. The news that the Army is held responsible for some flooding in New Orleans is something we'll probably see more of - it broke too late last night for analysis. And finally luxury stores are fighting the recession - by stocking fewer of each item they sell.

The Washington Post: oh good, another climate threat to worry about; the Post report that peat lands in Indonesia "unleash vast amounts of carbon." Does this mean we'll start to hear chants of "peat baby peat"? The Senate healthcare bill gets a slightly sensational treatment here, as everywhere else, and is paired with more on the mammogram debate, as everywhere else. Lawmakers want more help from the White House to investigate the Fort Hood shootings, and the shame of women who secretly like Twilight. The paper does not have the Katrina story on the front - perhaps because of earlier deadlines.

The LA Times: has, surprise surprise, the cost of the healthcare bill in it's standfirst (the smaller type under the headline). In other national news the Katrina story gets good play. They look further afield, to the EU for this story, but stay local after that with pieces on gang wars (a favorite at the LAT), fees at the University of California and how the recession is affecting a Tijuana roadside-seller.

The Wall Street Journal: decided not to put their front page up this morning, so you get a screengrab of the home page. Think of it as a metaphor for the future of news delivery. They characterise the healthcare bill as a 'showdown' and continue the dramatic language in a piece on the breast cancer screening debate. A "hedge fund king" tries to rebuild, California is still in trouble financially (and is banning power-hungry TVs) and the best flu scare story ever: your doctors' tie could make you ill. Go see him on dress-down Friday. Also, Iran doesn't care what we say.

The New York Post: likes baseball and girls. Plus they had a serious story yesterday, so why not indulge?

The Daily News: comparing the News and the Post you'd think that the former was one of the oldest papers in the country and had been in New York for centuries. But you'd be wrong. They lead again with the local story — the developments in the accidental shooting in the Bronx.

AM New York: if you live in NY you can stop this story coming true! Tip people tip! Think of it as stimulus.

The Telegraph (India): pollution here is something Al Gore talks about. In India, in creeps into your house at night and is nicknamed the "Calcutta Killer".

http://www.wsj-asia.com/

All the papers examine the diplomatic machinations of Obama's trip to China. Some flag it up with the warning that it's analysis, others report it as straight news. Meanwhile the we-hate-Goldman Sachs meme may be slowing - only the New York Times reports their latest attempt at being nice. The Post and the News illustrate their differences today; despite being direct competitors the Post goes with salacious details from a suicide related to Michael Jackson, while the News campaigns for tighter gun control on the back of its own story. Click away!

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: reports that China, because it essentially owns America now, is less willing to cede in negotiations with Obama. The story is illustrated with an exceedingly brown picture. Across the front page is news that New York will get much stricter on DWI cases, and that new laws are expected to pass quickly. In an effort to cover all the bases in a complex issue, two different pieces about the story that fewer women need mammograms are given equal space. Goldman Sachs' latest attempt to make us think they're nice is handled with a lot less scorn here than elsewhere and, as if to underline the ridiculousness of the situation, runs next to a piece about beleaguered people in Philadelphia relying on a scheme to keep their homes. Finally there's the greenwashing news that carbon offsets for flights don't do anything to reduce emissions.

The Washington Post: have the same news that China is taking a less conciliatory line with President Obama - because they can. It runs next to an exclusive about further corruption in Afghanistan; two stories that will doubtless give the White House pause. A reporter gets some poetic, weather-describing tendencies out of his system in an interview with the mother of a nine-year-old boy who was shot and killed over the weekend. Also, the rule used to be that numbers one to nine were spelled out in words and 10 upwards were in numerals. Has this changed, or did the Washington Post never follow this? There's a nice piece of historical context on the mammograms debate, and a piece that points out that, despite talk of a recovery, there aren't so many jobs.

The LA Times: reports that the Californian budget is still in trouble, but that the housing price in the south of the state, one of the hardest hit, is recovering. The DA wants to ruin everyone's fun by targeting medical marijuana users and the mammograms debate may affect healthcare reform. There's a piece here about Afghan corruption, without the exclusive hook the Washington Post has today. And Botswana has an opera, Macbeth featuring baboons, that sounds a lot more fun than most.

The Wall Street Journal: has a rich, full story about the wars to buy the British chocolate maker Cadbury. Hershey is plotting, apparently. As the latter is the worst chocolate in the world, and the former the best, let's hope they don't literally merge. Obama's difficulties in China make the front, as does an intriguing proposal to increase phone charges to pay for widespread broadband access. As we move towards the second half of the week, or 'fun time' as the WSJ knows it, the feature is about mega-marathoners.

The New York Post: just when you think you're out of the strange world of Michael Jackson, they pull you right back in. The Michael Goodwin column splashed on the left side of the page seems to have nothing whatsoever to do with this headline.

The Daily News: is running a good, old-fashioned local campaign against gun crime.

Tulsa World: reports that Oklahoma is ranked 49th in overall health. To illustrate that story they run a picture many New Yorkers would title 'breakfast'.

Toronto Sun: who knew Canadians could be so sensationalist? This is the opposite of earnest.

The tabloids, much to my chagrin, do not characterize mammograms as 'tit tests'. Which surely is the quintessential tabloid-ization. Other than that shoo-in, the lull in the healthcare and Fort Hood stories gives the editors a chance to flex their muscles a little bit and show how original they are. The Times explores Google maps and the kids of dictators, the Washington Post digs up a couple of government reports that no-one else seems to have thought front-page important, and the LA Times throws caution to the wind and does whatever the hell it likes, including a picture of some men pointing big guns around. The Post crosses the line from the ridiculous to the sublime with a giveaway of two of Madoff's polo shirts, crisply ironed for the cover photo.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has a truly excellent story about the son of the Equatorial Guinean dictator, which I cannot comment on because I was just about to put a similar one up on this website and am incandescent with rage. There's some good financial news from GM, which is not a sentence anyone gets to write often of late, and across the page (maybe to maintain a cliched gender balance) is the story that fewer women than thought need regular mammograms. The back-and-forth over Iran's nuclear capabilities continues, with a report that inspectors fear they have hidden nuclear plants. Below the fold there's a profile of the number-cruncher who often has the last say in congressional legislation, and a feature on how users improve Google maps.

The Washington Post: continues a run of interesting front page pictures with a shot of the 'Obamao' T-shirts that I predict we will begin to see around New York soon. They also cover the news on mammograms and give due prominence to a story on hunger in America - the high number of Americans living below the poverty line has been under-reported, I think. Primarily because it's not quirky and doesn't involve Facebook or Twitter. Another diary story (as in based on a scheduled event) that doesn't make the front elsewhere, but seems like it might merit more general prominence, is Ben Bernanke's pessimistic view of the economy. And he would know. The paper refers to right-wing, inconsistent and self-interested Democrats as 'moderate' in a story on healthcare - a piece of doublespeak which rivals 'pro-life' in its disingenuousness. And there's a sad media story about the death of the Washington Blade, the capital's gay newspaper.

The LA Times: characterize the mammogram story as causing "uproar," which seems a little strong. Other than that it's all original stories - well done LAT. The Mexican drugs story which was everywhere for about a week earlier this year and then dropped entirely off editorial radars is back for a well-deserved follow-up. Which also means the paper gets to run a gun-filled action shot. Either congressional morons are always finding new ways to jeopardize healthcare reform, or the papers are always finding new ways to report it. Both are equally plausible. There's perhaps the freshest piece of color reporting hooked on Obama's visit to China and a story about a road somewhere.

The Wall Street Journal: the most interesting thing about this story on how much land the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, a government agency, owns is that the Journal thinks we're in the "waning days" of the recession. Great! They also cover the mammograms story. I'm sure this news is huge if you work in finance, and finally word that the Presidency of the EU may not go, as expected, to Tony Blair but to the wonderfully named Herman Van Rompuy. Apparently Engelbert Humperdinck wasn't available.

The New York Post: has the best competition ever. Win Madoff's polo shirts! And a story about Bloomberg's budget cuts for the city.

The Daily News: underlines what a handy resource Facebook and MySpace are for reporters, in this story about the accidental killing of a Bronx girl.

Hamodia: "the newspaper of Torah Jewry"," based in Brooklyn, is to be commended for running only stories of wider, non-specific Torah Jewry interest. Thus, I think, making a satirical point about religion-specific newspapers.

The Anchorage Daily News: is apparently as bored of Sarah Palin as we're all about to be. They run only a small story below the fold on the hometown girl made... well I suppose good is the wrong word.

At the opposite end of the spectrum most of the papers run healthcare stories. Which caused me to sigh slightly. It is, however, the definition of public interest reporting. Our politicians are either too busy or too disinclined to lift up every rock to look at every corporate worm trying to wriggle back into the dark days of pre-existing conditions and fat bonuses. The examples reported today, one would hope hold someone accountable and actually add something to the debate.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: buries a scoop behind their lead headline. Apparently Obama is set to approve a troop level increase in Afghanistan as part of a strategy that asks more of Pakistan. The headline only refers to half of the story. Sometimes I wish that the corporations involved in healthcare reform would not always do the soul-destroying, bottom-line enhancing thing. But here they go again, in the form of the drug companies. News that the wonderfully orange Charlie Crist, Republican governor of Florida, is in danger of being Scozzafava-ed runs alongside a piece on the intransigence over climate change legislation. The front page is rounded out by two nice pieces of editorial thinking: one is on the Mexican families sending money to support loved ones in the US. The other is about the problems that the Fort Hood shooter's defense team will face in court.

The Washington Post: also has a strong showing in terms of good editorial thinking. Through various chicanery they got a reporter in Yemen to interview the cleric at the center of the rabid backlash against Muslims. Like the other broadsheets they're still picking through the debris at Fort Hood for different story angles - today there's one about the measures the base has taken against combat stress. In a piece on the mutual-fear-brings-peace relationship between the US and China, the paper reports that Obama told a group of Chinese students the two countries are close, though he did use the phrase "tumultuous winds," during the speech. Perhaps he ate a bad spring roll. The Post also have depressing healthcare news. A bunch, frankly, of appalling self-interested fuckers are putting together a report to try and discredit any reform. May they rot in hell along with the drug companies in the New York Times report. Finally, the taxpayer may be on the hook for more bailout money.

The LA Times: seem not to have read this excellent piece by Kevin Sullivan of the Washington Post on drug smuggling in Guinea-Bissau last year. Because they've just recreated it, at great expense, to no obvious purpose. It's fine and all, but it's not new. And it doesn't even reveal anything new. And it must have cost the salary of a junior reporter for a year. By contrast their local news is reliably good - they lead with a story about a new train line in East LA, and report on the battle for a philanthropist's art largesse. The US and Russia are united in scolding Iran, which might have a direct bearing on the growth in demand for specialist translators, and yet another way in which companies will screw patients over if healthcare reform passes.

The Wall Street Journal: only has one fun story today, about people hacking calculators. The rest, appropriately for a Monday, is business. China criticize US economic policy, which there's not really much arguing with, corporate bankruptcies slow, GE are money-chasing leprechauns, if you believe this headline and India goes green. There's the news here too that there is unlikely to be a climate change pact at the UN.

The New York Post: has a story which is either a nice exclusive on a potential rise in healthcare costs for New Yorkers, or a flammed-up misinterpretation of a reasonable healthcare proposal. I can't tell which. Andrea Peyser, who seems to have a unique knack for slightly misreading any situation, comments on the lady who was disfigured by a chimp. She compares her to another woman who was attacked by an animal - "unlike French face-transplant recipient Isabelle Dinoire, who was stoned when she was mauled by her dog, Charla did nothing to contribute to her maiming." I was unaware this was a common danger of marijuana usage and I can't believe Isabelle was so selfish as to bring this on herself. Thanks for the insight Andrea.

The Daily News: reinforces its middle-brow credentials by making the argument against bringing the 9/11 plotters to trial in New York.

Southtown Star: there's nothing like a good, solid, piece of parochial local reporting. I once covered a sale in a bed store. Compared to which this scoop, about a local lady who likes contests, signs up for stuff and thus receives a lot of junk mail, is Watergate.

Delovoy Peterburg: seems to be conducting an interesting experiment in typography in the tradition of El Lissitsky and the Russian supremacist art movement. Or, alternatively, this is an eye chart.

After a week of consensus over what the biggest stories were, the papers cut loose a bit today. And it's a lot of fun. The Wall Street Journal continues to maintain a mix of serious business news and the world's most amusing features - MC Hammer pants! Houses without ridiculous jacuzzis! The LA Times have a lead picture that is eerie and captivating at the same time and the Daily News breaks the weirdest celebrity story in a while. And Michael Jackson died this year.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: finally, a hopeful story on Afghanistan. Efforts to rebuff the Taliban and improve lives in one valley could apply to the rest of the country. The rest of the page is back on home soil. People are ignoring drugs proven to deter cancer (drug companies good). Pfizer, however, are leaving a small town they once fought for land in (drug companies bad). The Federal Housing Agency's cash reserves are dwindling, and a new conductor at the Los Angeles Philharmonic is causing people who like that sort of thing to swoon. The latter has the best opening line of the day: "They drew the line at the bobble-head doll." And finally there's a piece following those wounded in the Fort Hood shootings as they rebuild their lives.

The Washington Post: has a picture that may kill thousands. It certainly put me off getting a swine flu shot - the needle is actually in the little boy's arm. Was that necessary? Above this unpleasant injection image is an exclusive: China gave Pakistan uranium for two nuclear weapons in the 80s. After this, and Seymour Hersh's New Yorker piece on similar ground, we can expect to see more on the topic in the coming weeks, I think. Talking of imminent threats: they round up the fervour surrounding Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue. We should all take a moment to appreciate the fact she didn't give into the ridiculous droppin' Gs thing she thinks makes her sound homey and call it Goin' Rogue. The Fed has managed one tiny victory in the battle against banks, White House counsel Gregory B. Craig may resign and Nidal Hasan is charged with 13 counts of murder.

The LA Times: wins the front page picture of the day award. It illustrates a story about cold war-era nuclear contamination tainting Nevada. There's also news that Ah-nuld stopped the state getting federal money for commuter trains, people are spreading the flu by going to work, Obama wants China to buy more things from us and girls in India are resisting young marriages. This story, about the California Milk Advisory Board filming commercials in New Zealand features either the most blatant example of choosing a weird headline word — 'moola' — to fit the space on the page, or the worst joke ever.

The Wall Street Journal: after a couple of days ignoring the Fort Hood shooting on the front page, wisely I think, they lead with the news that Hasan may face the death penalty. They also feature yesterday's settlement between Intel and fellow chip makers AMD. As for the rest of the front page, all I can say is: please editorial staff of the Wall Street Journal, don't hurt 'em - MC Hammer is a fashion icon, and builders don't know what ridiculous things they can leave out of luxury houses.

The New York Post: this stars-do-things-on-film-sets thing must stop. We get it - it looks like they're really doing something weird in real life, but when you read the story it was all for a movie! It was funny the first 377 times. Now you're just tricking everyone.

The Daily News: breaks the strangest and most intriguing celebrity story in a while. Cindy Crawford was blackmailed by a model who was dating their nanny over a weird bondage picture of their eight-year-old daughter. The world is not only weirder than we think, it's weirder than we can think.

Fort Collins Coloradoan: the Heene's local paper goes big on the legal ramifications of their hoax with no fewer than three stories on the topic. Well you would if you were editing, wouldn't you?

China Daily: the big news in America is that Obama is going to China. The big news in China? The weather. And China, somehow, see themselves as like Abraham Lincoln on the Tibetan issue. And they think Obama should back them because he is black and Lincoln helped end slavery. Or something.

The Wall Street Journal has made the quirky recession tale its own so far this week. It's been one great look at how the death of, you know, everything, has affected people after another. The Times weighs in with a fairly straight, but well-reported piece, on the impact an unemployed father can have on a family. The Fort Hood story rumbles on, with a new angle - on whether a different police officer actually shot him down. Pretty well everyone runs with the story that the US ambassador in Afghanistan cautions against troop levels, and the Washington Post and the New York Daily News are both concerned for our sad President.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: continues the rise in new recession stories with a piece on the emotional and psychological impact the bad economy has on families - one in Texas in particular. There's an investigation into a former ambassador who stands to make hundreds of millions from advice he gave to Iraqi Kurds - it's similar in tone to the kind-of Al Gore conflict of interest story a couple of weeks ago and makes you think how much it would suck to get a call from a newspaper saying they're investigating you. It's a big day for ambassadors - the story that made some TV headlines last night, about the current holder of that post in Afghanistan cautioning against troop increases, makes A1 too. That troop decision is partly dependent, says Helene Cooper, on how much leverage the US has over President Karzai. The Fort Hood story of the day goes to this, about who really shot him. It is notably single-sourced though. China's draconian swine flu measures are working, and there's still hope for Coney Island. If you like that sort of thing.

The Washington Post: opens with a touchy-feely political story about Obama's struggles with his wartime presidency. He bears the burden and is skipping meals, says the story, which is similar in tone to the Daily News cover story today. A rare synergy. Stories about about the ambassador to Afghanistan resisting troop increases, and more on the Fort Hood shootings, make a nice counterpoint - here's a worried man, here's what he's worried about. The local Catholic church are throwing their toys out of their stroller over a same-sex marriage bill, and threatening to stop helping with adoption, homelessness and healthcare unless they get their own way. And a hippo gets frisky.

The LA Times: has almost exactly the same stories as everyone else. They've been pretty original of late, so I suppose they're allowed one day of Fort Hood, Muslims in the military and Afghanistan troop levels. They also make room for an 80-something DJ, an amusing picture of an man arrested wearing a Spiderman costume and something about misappropriated pension funds that you have to be Californian to understand.

The Wall Street Journal: runs with a headline that makes it sound as if the world is going over to the dollar's house and telling it it's pretty and that everyone likes it and that it shouldn't listen to mean people. The Afghanistan story gets front page play here too, Americans are inventing things again, judicial reform, union battles and the Mexican opposition leader is a bad loser.

The New York Post: sometimes the Post's ignoring of the major news to run with odd stories is annoying. Today it's refreshing - the woman who had her face ripped off by a chimp revealed to Oprah that she bears no bitterness towards the ape despite her injuries. No Afghanistan troop levels story! Joy!

The Daily News: has a first-person account from a reporter who ran into President Obama at a military cemetary. It's very similar in tone to the Washington Post's piece on the burdens of office. And NY is bad at math.

Stars and Stripes: the military newspaper has surprisingly subdued coverage of veterans' day, leading instead with a story on the increasing importance of Zabul province in Afghanistan (which seems worthy of a follow-up in the broadsheets).

The Natin (Barbados): life seems simpler in Barbados. None of their ambassadors is dominating the news with dissent on a war. Their President is probably not that sad. But they are having drainage difficulties.

The impression one gets going through the intelligence coverage today is that no-one — the agencies included — know what happened. The agencies seem to be furiously leaking in their own favour, and the papers are lapping it up. Really, all that is revealed is that it's incredibly complex and entirely understandable that Hasan wasn't apprehended for sending a few emails. But that's not a story. An intelligence failure that led to the deaths of 13 soldiers however, is. So we're in the strange position of one piece of evidence being interpreted two different ways and definitive reports in either direction. It is notable that the New York Times does not run anything on the topic today. Maybe they're taking the sensible route and waiting until the dust settles instead of peering blindly through it.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has a nice mix today. Mark Mazzetti has frankly been killing it of late. The latest investigation to feature his byline reveals that private army Blackwater, now rebranded as 'Xe' and its worst-person-in-the-world boss Erik Prince paid bribes to shut people up after they massacred 17 Iraqi civilians. Quadruple sourced no less! There's the shoo-in emotional tale and picture from the Fort Hood service yesterday, to which the paper sent big-gun political reporter Peter Baker. The picture is outstanding - and as everyone takes amazing photography in the Times for granted I'd like to commend Nicole Bengiveno by name. The story that two Bear Stearns hedge-fund managers, accused of fraud for their part in the financial crisis, here, gets some analysis for its potential implications for other nefarious banker-types, and runs above a story about Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke's growing political skills. Meanwhile Supreme Court Justice, and first amendment protector, Anthony M. Kennedy forced a New York school to give him copy approval on an article the newspaper wrote about a talk he gave, and the New Museum faces a potential conflict of interest.

The Washington Post: the series leading up to the execution of the DC sniper reached its inevitable end when John Allen Muhammad was executed. The paper uses the closure to analyze the impact of the shootings too. They also use the Fort Hood service as a hook to look at the intelligence failures surrounding the shootings. Ben Bernanke is going to have to use the political skills the Times says he's developed - Chris Dodd wants to strip his institution of many powers, something no-one else picked up on the front page. There's been an interesting fragmenting of financial crisis coverage of late - as more and better stories emerge each paper is picking its own angle. The Post didn't want to get left without with an intelligence exclusive either - they report that a weakened Al-Qaeda now relies on the Taliban for protection. Frankly the war is so murky out there, and stories conflict so often, that I now take any reports from the region with a pinch of salt. And finally: Americans learning to live without cars.

The LA Times: uses a Reuters picture of the Fort Hood service, unlike the Times and Post who sent their own cameras. It is either very smart as most pictures will be pretty similar anyway, or a missed opportunity to showcase a fine LA Times photojournalist. They also look at the intelligence failures. There's a slightly old story about a hand-written note British Prime Minister Gordon Brown sent to the mother of a fallen soldier. He either misspelled the family's name, or has bad handwriting, depending who you believe. The real story, reported well here, is how the media and public turn on a beleaguered politician. The feature today looks at a couple in Iran over several years, some prison inmates prefer the more-comfortable death row and a panel approves fishing restrictions to help stocks recover.

The Wall Street Journal: leads with the news of the Bear Stearns acquittal and looks at the rebuilding of GM. Job seekers are trying to erase their criminal records, which is a nice counterpoint to yesterday's story about people living on severance. The paper also uses the word 'sextet' to subtly imply that six women did naughty things in a van in the 70s. (At least in my eyes.) They also take a wire picture of the Fort Hood service and dutifully run it on the front.

The New York Post: quotes directly from Obama's speech, which kind of sums up their straight-ahead coverage of the service. There's an interesting comparison here - the Post says a third government agency ignored warnings about Hasan, and cites the Wall Street Journal for this "stunning evidence" that adds to the storyline that Hasan could, should, have been stopped. The Journal takes that evidence for a more measured piece on intelligence infighting - the claim that I think the Post is referring to isn't mentioned until the fourth paragraph. Although it's all such a confusing mess of not-quite scoops about procedures that I have a headache trying to unravel it.

The Daily News: reports the same intelligence failures story in a slightly different way, adding to the confusion.

The Naples Daily News: I will buy and eat a hat if this story, about an eccentric Floridian who sent flowers to the Fort Hood shooter because he wanted to be a good Christian and love his enemy, is not picked up in the tabloids tomorrow. Unless he's too crazy to report on - which is a surprisingly fine line sometimes.

Asahi Shimbun: All I can tell you about this Tokyo paper's front page is that it doesn't cover Fort Hood, it looks cool and the columnist in the top left corner resembles a bearded Mr. Miyagi.

It's big front page news for everyone, except the Wall Street Journal, that the feds didn't catch Nidal Hasan despite clear indications he was becoming more radical. This coverage will doubtless guarantee an incredibly dull, toothless committee in Washington to issue a 1,000 page report on the intelligence failures that reveals nothing. The papers also update the story by stealth, as part of the FBI piece: Hasan is awake but refuses to talk, and will probably face military, not civilian, court. The Washington Post has an exclusive addition to the tale, which it runs above the fold: Hasan warned senior officers, in a presentation the Post obtained, that Muslim soldiers should be allowed to step down as conscientious objectors. The New York Times has a feature on the death and trauma that surround Fort Hood, even when psychiatrists are not going on killing sprees. Alongside the developments in Texas, every broadsheet also runs a picture from the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and a couple of sexier stories for balance.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has a very straight report (in contrast with the outrage elsewhere) that the FBI knew Hasan was in contact with radical cleric Anwar al-Awlaki. It runs alongside an in-depth feature on the death that surrounds Fort Hood - which provides the main A1 picture. They update the story on the resignation of Mahmoud Abbas, which doesn't get front page coverage anywhere else today. Banks are still bastards who look after their own interests first, the battle for gay rights in New York and the shaky math around healthcare spending.

The Washington Post: have been leading the field in exclusives on the Fort Hood shootings. In the days following they had interviews others did not, and now they've dug up a document that shows Hasan wanted out. They run the news that the FBI knew of his radicalization below that. They also have the first interview with the upstate NY Republican who became the target for Palin and the rest of the nutjobs in the recent election. There's a second part to yesterday's feature on the execution of the DC sniper and a look at a section of North Carolina that has 15 per cent unemployment.

The LA Times: opens with the Fort Hood news, and updates the story on how abortion affects the healthcare debate. But they have original pieces about the battle between local authorities and those who want to take advantage of recently loosened medical marijuana enforcement and focuses on more drugs in a tale of increased involvement by women in Mexican gangs. The feature is about the melting of Mount Kenya, and there's an intriguing plug for a story about how burglars are using a celebrity addresses website to scope out potential victims.

The Wall Street Journal: doesn't go big with the Hasan story, preferring to focus on the Dow's rally and a sale of Bernie Madoff's belongings, including personalized Mets jacket. You have to know your audience, I suppose. Talking of which, there's a story about the process of gradually running down severance money and fisherman in the Hamptons. There's also a very good look at how Swine Flu might affect blood supplies. I even like the graphic.

The New York Post: should have better headlines. The Sun, its English counterpart, is renowned for fantastic puns. When Kim Jong-Il tested a nuclear warhead they went with 'How Do You Solve A Problem Like Korea', for example. To be fair to the Post the Hasan story is not all that pun-friendly, being about death and all, but still, there is definitely something pun-tastic to be had in the J-Lo sex tape revelation.

The Daily News: focuses on the fact that the Army promoted Major Hasan even after it was made clear he had contacted a radical cleric.

The Tampa Bay Times: you have to ask yourself what the North-East liberal media elite is doing ignoring this story about a punchup at a wedding. A grandmother got put in a headlock! "Things were happening and I was confused," she said. "I don't know what really set it off." This sums up my life.

The Herald Sun (Australia): as winter sets in here Australia is preparing for a heatwave that could start more bushfires. And Tiger Woods is there! Save Tiger Woods first!

Firstly there's a new image - of Hasan in his military uniform. (It's the equivalent of running a graduation photo when someone dies young - it's shorthand for 'look what potential we lost in this tragedy'.) Secondly there's apparently a link between Hasan and two of the 9/11 attackers, through a mosque they all shared. This will only fuel the wingnut scapegoating of Muslims.

The Washington Post carries the considered version of the story, below the fold, as well as a stellar story about the execution of the DC sniper. The New York Post - which runs the mosque link on the front page - is somewhat less measured. The New York Times, conversely, looks at what it's like to be Muslim in the US military as part of an above-the-fold package of stories. The main tale is the work of 12 reporters and researchers, and is worth every one. The Daily News, meanwhile, has an exclusive interview with the mother of a soldier who was treated by psychiatrist Hasan.

Disclosure: I freelance write and report for newspapers that are included in this roundup. Where there is a direct conflict of interest I will make it clear.

The New York Times: has a comprehensive and genuinely moving analysis of Hasan's motivations, and addresses the wider issue of Muslims in the military. President Obama is using his influence to press the Senate to move the healthcare bill along. Iraq has passed a law that will help get American troops out of the country. Catholic priests helped lobby anti-abortion measures into the healthcare bill. Also: Nelson Mandela is not dead.

The Washington Post: also proves that, given a weekend and some leeway to get fruity with the words, great reporters can deliver on a story as rich as the shootings. Their above-the-fold story is, if anything, even better and examines whether the families of the DC sniper's victims will watch him die or not. The picture is amazing, it's exclusive and local but of national importance. It even speaks to a wider issue. The only flaw? The story opens with weather. Everyone loves an abortion/healthcare story. Finally, a local story about safety inspections on the DC Metro.

The LA Times: has its cake and eats it too. They run a picture on the shootings above the fold, but devote all the words to other stories. There is a really good profile of Nancy Pelosi - who was instrumental in getting the healthcare bill through the House, but abandoned her own history to do so. And a look at where the bill goes from here. Today's front page feature is about the shutting down of mountain resorts for the winter. The Iraqi law that will help US troops leave is covered here too, and there's lots of service-y local reporting: pension funds and a poll on state reform.

The Wall Street Journal: pulls the same 'Fort Hood picture on the front' trick as the LA Times. And run a very similar picture of a soldier praying, actually. And even has a similar story on the future trials of the healthcare bill, though they add a piece on what it means for insurers. There's a story about Bank of America chief Ken Lewis' battles with the Fed - which includes the fact that his mother nudged him to pay back the bailout money he took. And also to eat his greens. And did Iran build a giant mosque in Nicaragua, where there are only 300 Muslims?

The New York Post: perhaps worried by today's Times report of their circulation woes, the Post opens with the Fort Hood shootings (last week, when it happened, they ran baseball stories on the front page). Also, the headline should be the title of a right-wing horror movie.

The Daily News: interviews the mother of a soldier who was treated by the Fort Hood shooter. She saw evil in his eyes, and thinks the shootings were a calculated act of terrorism. Let's hope she reads the Times cover story today for some context.

The Anchorage Daily News: I know they gave us Sarah Palin to mock,but who knew life in Alaska was so interesting? Today alone there is a story on a new gold rush, the one federal dog mushing job, and how to get it, and viruses that can put child porn on your computer without you even knowing it. Their Fort Hood story is the dullest thing here! Inside, the arts reviewer even (kind of) says mime is better than opera! Which everyone knows but no-one says.

The New Zealand Herald: parliament in New Zealand is a far more interesting place than elsewhere in the world. An MP once called women 'front bums'. The latest political escapades are somewhat less creative, but still pretty fun. The best thing about this fron page? They go big on the Carrie Prejean sex tape!

The only image of Nidal Hasan available (until the shoe-leather journalists hit the streets, harass his friends and family, and get something better) is tiny and black and white. So the three broadsheets go with photojournalistic depictions of the horror on the army base. The Daily News runs a stark black front page with the small picture in the corner. The Post, at least in the editions available online goes with... baseball.

In most of the papers Hasan is a troubled Army psychiatrist, possibly suffering from PTSD after hearing the harrowing tales of returning soldiers. In the Post he's an 'Army Muslim Major'.

Oh, and there are other stories too, doubtless cut at the last minute when the shooting news broke. Palestinian politics! Gruesomeness in Cleveland! Healthcare! Baseball!

The New York Times: has perhaps the best analysis of the shooter and his motivations. They also seem to have got to his cousin - the one family member who is happy to talk to anyone who asks - first. Their straight news story also devotes some time to the three other soldiers held in connection with the shootings. They also cover former Police Chief Bernie Kerik's guilty plea and expected prison term, the potentially destabilising news that Mahmoud Abbas will not seek re-election in Palestine, a dreadful tale of 11 bodies - hidden by a murderous sex offender - found in a house in Ohio. Oh, and the Afghan army is inept.

The Washington Post: mentions the shooter's local connection - to Walter Reed hospital, and repeats the claim that deploying to Iraq or Afghanistan was Hasan's "worst nightmare." They also have some original reporting - an interview with Hasan's aunt and a fellow psychiatrist - that shows what we'd lose if newsrooms shrink, I think. There's politics in the form of a healthcare infighting tale and the story about Congress extending jobless benefits.

The LA Times: above the main story is a crop of a picture the NY Times is running on their website too. I always think it's amazing how a consensus between disconnected editors emerges when there's one story. Consensus is the word here - they effectively round up the strands (PTSD, Islam, suicide bombing sympathising) seen elsewhere. There's a great detail in this story about a hedge fund scandal - one trader tried to eat his phone's sim card to hide evidence. There's a new sheriff in town on the Mexican border, the wranglings over Afghanistan get play here too, and there is optimism over the health bill.

The New York Post: once you get beyond the baseball, adds the somewhat poignant detail that Nidal Hasan had trouble finding love. The News has more though...

The Daily News: interviews Hasan's former Imam who says the shooter wanted a wife far more religious than himself. One who prayed five times a day, in fact. They have the best reporter (IMO) in New York - Kerry Burke - on the story, so expect more detail and mini-scoops to come from the News.

The Austin American_Statesman: when a big story breaks in your backyard you want to be on top of it. There's some good local reporting here.

The Times (London): want a depressing fact? The world is so inured to massacres in America that today's Times, in London, devotes all of two square inches to it.

Of course this all came in the midst of news that the Yankees were better with their baseball racquets than some other men, and an election happened yesterday that is still pretty meaningless (though all the papers seek meaning). Luckily bored editors spiced things up with some intrigue and orginality.

The New York Times: like most of the papers today it's all baseball and politics. You know, man things that ladies don't understand. The lead picture is of Hideki Matsui hitting a ball somewhere for some purpose. Bloomberg is mending fences, that previously he just would have bought and had coated in diamonds, following his slim election victory. We're all going to die of swine flu, and regular flu too, because there's not enough vaccine. New Jersey's new governor tries to prove he's more than just not Jon Corzine. And Mickey Mouse is to be reimagined as a crack-smoking, pistol-wielding badass. Or something like that.

The Washington Post: well done Washington Post, for leading with a completely different story about Iran. Apparently people took to the streets to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the seizing of the American embassy in Tehran. Other people took to the same streets to protest against the government. I did not know this had happened. Now I do. Journalism in action! Digital readers are poised to break through over the holidays, maybe. Computers went wrong and stuck 750 traffic lights on red. And then a lot of politics stuff that is too similar to yesterday's election analysis to summarise without destroying my very soul. Here, here and here.

The LA Times: in the 'it's not really interesting but we wish it was because it's a good piece of reporting' column on the left is a story about native Americans rebuilding after a feud. Toyota lied to people about a safety defect. There's a report on Italy's trial-in-absentia of 23 Americans for kidnapping (rendering, whatever) an Egyptian man on their soil. They have to worry about water in California, apparently. And again, the same dull anlaysis of the nothing that happened yesterday in politics here. Finally a story about the Senate extending credits for homebuyers that is notable mainly because I am Facebook friends with the reporter but had forgotten. Must poke him.

The New York Post: before you comment on the tiny image - I know. The Post goes with (see if you can guess) the headline 27th Heaven, referring to the Yankees' 27th World Series victory last night!

The Daily News: before you comment on the tiny image - I know. The News goes with (see if you can guess) the headline 27th Heaven, referring to the Yankees' 27th World Series victory last night! Great minds etc.

The Wall Street Journal: has also gone with a Native Americans story on the front page. Apparently Mexican pot growers are sick of smuggling bundles of weed across the border and are sneakily growing it on Indian reservations. Police seized 233,000 plants on Indian lands last year. I'm just disappointed they didn't use some kind of smoke signals based joke in the headline.

The Guardian (UK): frankly I just really liked this headline. Here someone shouting 'you lie' at the President is a big deal. In Europe, politicians get to impugn people with mental disabilities and accuse colleagues of cutting a country's penis off. Also Patrick Wintour, bylined on the story, is the brother of Anna.

Most of the front pages focus on the fact that New Jersey and Virginia statehouses went Republican while a congressional district in upstate NY went Democrat for the first time in 100 years despite (or perhaps because of) the interference of Sarah Palin. The New York press go big on the news that Bloomberg didn't win by as much as you would have thought considering he spent a bajillion dollars and handed out dubloons from his sedan chair. The story that Warren Buffett decided to fulfill magnate cliches and invest in trains makes a splash too. And apparently there's also some baseball game later.

The New York Times: above the fold it's all politics - an election round-up and two stories about Bloomberg's narrow margin of victory dominate. Below the fold it's fun time! Iraqis are using a useless stick to try and find bombs! Police are using dogs for sniff-test lineups!

The Washington Post: here it's all politics, all the time (except for a cursory tale about a high-school football star benched for chest-bumping). They go big with the local story; that the GOP has reclaimed Virginia. They hit Obama twice - once with a story saying Democrats aren't doing the hard cost-cutting work on the health bill and another saying it's not 2008 any more and that he should watch out. They preface the latter with the caveat that you can't tell anything from off-year elections. Then proceed to conjecture anyway.

The LA Times: perhaps understandably for a newspaper thousands of miles away from most of the elections last night, devotes one corner to the GOP 'comeback' (my inverted commas), and gives the main splash to a story about the machinations over the choice of the new LA police chief. Warren Buffett's $34bn purchase of Burlington Northern Railroad is seen as a harbinger of recovery, and there's also a piece on peaceful protest in Palestine.

The New York Post: the Post never misses an opportunity to unleash Photoshop for a sporting event. And today is no different. Inside they cover the big three political stories - Corzine's loss in Jersey, Upstate going Democrat and Bloomberg's narrow win.

The Daily News: wins the stating-the-obvious award in pointing out that it is Bloomberg's last chance to deliver as mayor. As he's unlikely to roll back term limits again and run a fourth time, this seems somewhat obvious. It does ask the intriguing question, also posed elsewhere, of what might have happened if the Democratic machine had thrown its weight behind their official candidate, Bill Thompson.

The Washington Times: It's always fun, when politics is big news, to see what the right-wing nutjobs have to say. The other Times says independents "fled" back into the arms of Republicans, saying it never meant anything and begging their forgiveness. Meanwhile those grass-roots (as in stoked by the conservative media) tea-partiers say they're now ready for 2010 after agitating for the upstate New York congressional race. That their guy lost. Also, environmental regulation is bad for business and the EPA is very naughty for pursuing unorthodox means to ensure it.

Aripaev: I do not speak Estonian and have no idea what this says. But this Talinn daily is laid out by legendary newspaper designer Jacek Utko, and highlights the fact that for some reason US broadsheets all have an aesthetic straight out of the 1890s. Utko thinks that good design can save newspapers. It's worth a try!