A Colorado man faces charges of felony menacing after police say he pointed a banana at officers, causing them to believe they were in "imminent danger" from "a deadly weapon," the NY Daily News reports.

Fried chicken. Fried fish. Fried potatoes. Fried vegetables. Fried dough. All popular staples of the American diet. Hey guys, one question: why no fried fruit?

Today, The Atlantic identifies the most intriguing new food trend of 2014: "miracle fruit," the magic little berry that makes sour things taste sweet. How come nobody's mentioned this before?

Some food—cake, pie, pizza, nachos—tastes great. Some food—wheatgrass, chia seeds, kale—is healthy. But what one food tastes the best while still being healthy?

A New Jersey man miraculously survived a terrifying encounter with nearly one ton of pineapples on Wednesday afternoon.

Did you know that the Girl Scouts, America's rag-tag crème puff children's militia, are rolling out a new cookie this year?

Ever since we started reporting on important fruit issues, a lot of desperate biters out there are talking about fruit. Look, let's put this whole fruit discussion to rest so that we can get back to more important matters. Here is the definitive ranking of fruits.

Oranges: a popular fruit. Very popular. Go in any place that sells fruit, fruit store, or whatever, and I bet one thing you will see there displayed prominently is—that's right—oranges. The point is that oranges are very popular in America. So then, smartass: why is there no orange pie?

Do you see these beautiful berries? These berries are the shiniest living things in the whole entire world. They are shinier than a blue morpho butterfly's wings. They are shinier than a scarab beetle's carapace. They are more sparkling than a child's sunny aura and more brilliant than all the secrets of the sea.

Think of "fruits" and "vegetables" like parsley. Parsley is a vegetable. And here in America, we use fruit and vegetables the same way that we use parsley: as window dressing, as a little green thing that makes the real food (Cheez) look better.

So far 18 people have died from killer cantaloupes tainted with listeria, out of at least 100 cases. Now, the good news: most of the death melons are out of the food supply by now. Deep breaths. [Image via Shutterstock]

The worst part of any fruit salad, cantaloupe, is now the most deadly. Sixteen people are dead and 56 more people in 18 states have fallen ill after eating melons which were infected with listeria.

You just love eating bananas from the supermarket, right? Well, you better get your fill because a fungal infection is threatening to wipe out the yellow fruit that we all take for granted.

After being stabbed in the side with a butcher knife, a 58-year-old parking garage attendant in the Bronx fended off two armed attackers with an apple. The surveillance video shows two younger men threatening the attendant, who happened to be holding an apple at the time. (By color, I would guess it is a Gala.…

Despite our warnings to you that this would happen if you didn't run out and purchase several cases of wildly overpriced pears, it appears that you didn't listen: Harry & David has declared bankruptcy.

This video is cute—well, it's cute in a "Did that little girl just get possessed by Satan?" way. Anyway! This is Penny. Because Penny's parents are horrible, they decided to feed her grapefruit juice and film the results.

Here's a 30-second video of three really, really, REALLY cute kitty cats sitting still for their owner. Oh, also: the aforementioned owner spends the 30 seconds stacking oranges on top of the cat's cute little paws. BAWWWWW, amirite? Watch inside.