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Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld

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gawkimo
01/03/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
Yeah, Mifune is a real fat ass. (?)
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BookishLookish
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
As minks are basically pretty rats, I am preempting any potential attacks by wearing their hides on my body all winter. And unlike Uncle Karl, I am not queasy about eating meat, nor is my child. As you can see from Karl's stumpy, smallish hands, lack of protein as a child causes stunted growth.
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ShanghaiLil
01/02/09

@BookishLookish: Ever since I started owning dogs, and realized what personalities they have, I've managed to square being queasy about eating meat with the consumption of vast amounts of animal protein. It's like smoking cigarettes: I know it's wrong, but...Do you have a light?

And you're 100% right about the minks. One of my great regrets in life is that men can't wear full-length fur coats without being mistaken for old women or pimps. I know designers have tried, but never once have I seen it work.
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BookishLookish
01/02/09

@ShanghaiLil: Your dogs, given half a chance, would join you most heartily in the eating of that good animal protein. I have seen farm dogs go inside an animal carcass and eat their way out. It's all part of nature, after all.

And as for the contemporary fashion sensibilites of our menfolk, right now they could use a touch of the pimp in their style, and more like a ton of it.
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ShanghaiLil
01/03/09

@BookishLookish: My current dog is an inexplicably tiny but otherwise perfectly formed English Bulldog with the exact personality of a fourteen-year-old mean girl. Where the last one was a Jager-drinking, Marlboro-unfiltered-smoking, flannel-shirt-wearing bull-dyke (NO male dog was allowed to sniff her girly parts -- seriously!), this one is pretty and she totally knows it. She has a penchant for sitting directly in the path of oncoming strangers and making her "Aren't I adorable?" face. Almost no one can resist it, the manipulative little bitch! I promise you, she would not eat her way out of an animal carcass. She's the only dog I've ever met who, left to her own devices, would choose a banana peel over meat.

And you're right about male fashion, but...perhaps I'm being a snob, but there are no circumstances ever under which I wish to look even vaguely like P. Diddy. Period. And remember, we're hobbled by the fact that, while you ladies can wear lovely decorative things like brooches, hats and flashy rings, men's accessories are pretty much limited to big heavy watches, unless we're Italian or Greek, in which case we can overtan and then pull off a gold crucifix dangling between our cleavage and possibly some gold rings, but the choices are very limited.
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BookishLookish
01/03/09

@ShanghaiLil: Your little girl sounds adorable. Love, love, love the English Bulldog. My neighbor and her son have one. This dog has made a god of this kid, it's hilarious to watch. Once a stranger got a little too close to her son, who was walking the dog at night, and that little dog messed that stranger up! She was all, "Bitch, nobody gets close to my baby!"
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MissPeacock
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
This almost makes me forget how he used to be fat himself and always carried that silly little fan around in front of his face.
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Plum-Pie
01/02/09

@MissPeacock:
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VoxPopuli
01/03/09

@Plum-Pie: Oh dear. That appears to be Elton John with even worse hair and tackier glasses. And I hope he's not wearing a kimono to match that fan.
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Baroness
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
"Electrocuting minks? Pffft. Believe me dollink, I'ff had cattle prods up ze ass, it's nothing, and zese vicious animals, zey are drama queens. Now fetch me a melancholy Fresca."
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
I'm not taking seriously the words of anyone who looks that silly. He would not be out of place in the Mad Max movie.
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aurora*raby
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
I watched Seven Samurai last night for the thousandth time, and for the thousandth time noticed that there could be nothing more erotic than the beautiful plump legs and rising smoke of the cave scene.

Some people, like Karl, think it's okay to treat the world as cruelly as one was treated by his mother as a child.
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aurora*raby
01/02/09

@aurora*raby: I need a copy editor! I meant: "as one was treated as a child by his mother."
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Kid Twist
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
A guy who thinks people are too fat shouldn't be wearing a Colonel Sanders necktie.
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i'm a bottle
01/04/09

@Kid_Twist: I found this on German television:

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Lymed
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
Christmas would be way more funny if crazy Uncle Karl came to dinner.
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semiserious
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
The best hope of the PEA-types is to get it in the head of younger designers and fashion moguls that fur is bad, and let the old ones die off. Too bad Karl Lagerfeld will never die, for them anyway.

The sacrifice of some minks and such to keep the entertainment that Karl brings around is really a small price.
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
01/03/09

@semiserious: you could always switch out his sex toys and anally electrocute him, like minks?

I'm seeing 'CSI episode' here - let's take a moment to envision david caruso's reaction shot to the crime scene.
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BullfightsOnAcid
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
Finally I can break out my favorite shirt from the 70's.

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HiredGoons
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
stubby fingers.
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
god help me, I misread this as Fat Chicks with Furry Breasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld

of course, his pose if perfect for either title
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
01/02/09

@Monsignor Xtravagante D'ouchestache: that movie would do great at the XXX store
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AuntPeniston
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
Didn't I see him on the Darcy Pennell show?
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DrGirlfriend
01/02/09

@AuntPeniston: He must be related to Christian Renoir.
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AuntPeniston
01/02/09

@DrGirlfriend: Either that or they met at a Leafs game.
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DavidWatts
01/02/09

@AuntPeniston: I think they used to share some steps.
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DrGirlfriend
01/02/09

@AuntPeniston: I think that is the more likely scenario.

...aaaand now I have the Darcy Pennell theme song stuck in my head.
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robmorsexxx
01/02/09

In reply to Fat Chicks and Furry Beasts Menace Karl Lagerfeld
I can only imagine what would happen if someone undid that high collar on his shirt: His neck would spill out like one large panel of accordian pleating.

Karl: People come in sizes other than emaciated.
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She Laughs
01/02/09

@robmorsexxx: I suspect his head is barely attached and would fall on the floor if the top button was undone.

I'm also fairly certain the collar is so tight it's stopped all blood flow to his brain, hence these incredibly silly speculations from kl.
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BookishLookish
01/02/09

@SheLaughs: Pez head.
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MincnglyWhrdL'mer
01/03/09

@robmorsexxx: rouching?
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cassandra
01/03/09

@robmorsexxx: He used to be fat. There is no one more obnoxiously judgemental about weight than a former fat person.
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