Speaking of which, there's another Top Chef live blog on Gawker tonight - it'll be posted around 9 Eastern, and the show starts at 10.

How many commenters will know tonight's guest Martha Stewart, I wonder? What personal experiences will they share??

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Rocco, where is your line of frozen pizzas? I'm hungry!

And you call yourself a celebrity chef. Jeez Louise!

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After working in the high-class kitchens of New York's Penisula Hotel

Rocco DiSpirito: trained to be a dick.

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Gael, honey, are you new?? Of course he has. Cooking--real restaurant line cooking--is hard. That's why all these guys--Rocco, Wolfgang Puck, Emeril, Mario Batali, Anthony Bourdain, even your precious Tom Colicchio, Richard!--all want to get book deals and TV shows and endorse moderately-priced cookware on QVC, so they can get the hell out of the kitchen.

(This comment brought to you by Clare's dad. Clare's dad: Continued curmudgeonosity since 1948.)

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Really, pal, you shouldn't take us seriously. After all, many if not most of us are still eating mac-and-cheese straight outta the box on a regular basis, and some of us are taking shortcuts and just pouring in that powder, no butter or milk or anything, resulting in a really gritty meal that is unlike anything Kraft might depict on their box! For shame. Was it not Kelly Osbourne who once said "I love my Easy Mac"? Yeah, it was. And you thisclose to synonimizing (is that a real word?) Gawker commenters and "the gastronomic elite"! Fact: while some of us have eaten steak at the Hustler Club, none of us can review that joint like Bruni did, me-ow!

And, for real, your dancing on that ABC show wasn't that bad. So what if Cloris Leachman outlasted you? That's AMERICA's fault, and not yours!

You know what is your fault? Letting that jerkoff Chodorow bring that totes obnoxious intern into your fake TV restaurant that one episode. Or was it two episodes? Yeah, he was a fucking jerk. Who the hell did he think he was? Um, what did he do again? Touch your mama's meatballs? I swear, he was a punk, and he upset the wonderful chemistry on that show! Next time, just go with Gordon Ramsay instead, he's always asking for his risotto!

And, for real, no more reality shows, just hang back, cook some pasta, and cook it well, don't forget the sauce, or the love, or the love sauce. Your customers will love you for it! Your love sauce, that is! All will be cool again. Just ignore the health inspectors when they walk through the door, because they're gonna want some of that love sauce, too.

Peace out, brah. Stay less annoying. You'll be aiiight.

Herbal essences,

Aaron

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