It's incredibly difficult to keep a secret anymore, and in this adolescent media world, it's impossible. So: I assumed, because Greg hadn't been blowing cash and buying everybody drinks and hookers over the last three months, that he had lost on Jeopardy. We'd known about this for a while, and a bunch of us had even helped him study. I was even a little concerned; he was putting so much effort into winning that I feared what would happen if he lost. Every pseudo intellectual has dreamed of being on Jeopardy. Actually making it, and then getting crushed, could emotionally devastate even the most stable of us. So I worried Greg was doomed.

Halfway through Double Jeopardy, my worry was not displaced. All of us had gathered at the Barrow Street Ale House, hoping to cheer Greg on, but he was so far behind that our priorities changed. No longer were we, "Way to go, Greg." It became, "Christ, how the hell do I deal with the crying dude when I just want to leave already?" And then he caught a break, and hit the second Daily Double, and then entered Final Jeopardy within distant striking distance. At this point, we were just happy he'd made it that far. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. I was trying to imagine a scenario where Greg would feel comfortable inviting people to come watch his show without him actually, you know, winning. This seemed about right. Within striking range during Final Jeopardy. Close enough. Good show, son. Everyone back in Illinois is surely proud.

And then the crazy defending champion woman missed — honestly, Galileo was obvious; she totally choked — and, somehow, amazingly, Greg had won. I write about sports a lot, more than I'd like, actually, and I find that the more sports I watch, the more difficult it becomes to come across an outcome that's truly unexpected. The term "upset" has become trite. Even the scrappy underdogs make millions and, if you met them in real life, would not like you. But to actually watch a friend of mine come from nowhere — seriously, the man was defeated — and win, in front of everyone he knows and holds dear (and even a few he doesn't) ... well, not even this cynical Brooklynite could deny it. About 35 jaded, angry, jealous, winded media people, everyone sniping behind everyone's backs beforehand, apoplectic that THAT guy got THAT assignment, all in a room together ... suddenly screaming like we're 10 year olds, shocked, giddy, foolish. It was awesome. This is all giving Greg a bigger ego. But it's true. The place went nuts. We were all so happy.

He's on again tonight, and maybe he'll win, and maybe he'll lose. Honestly, after the first unexpected victory, it turns strange, really, to cheer for your friend to make more money. This is New York, after all, and more money could mean a better apartment than I have, and That. Just. Won't. Do. But for one night, we were all Marshall. Update the Greg Lindsay Career Trajectory, folks. My friend is a Jeopardy champion.

So, now that he's won on Jeopardy ... maybe he can finish his goddamned book.

[TMZ]

See, nobody watches commercials any more, so now companies are making their own entire shows. It's a throwback to the days of the "Toastie Postie Cereal Morning Variety Hour and Talent Competition," and whatnot. The Times looks at two current examples of this exasperating phenomenon: a Dos Equis beer reality show tied to its ad campaign, and the aforementioned Meow Mix Game Show, which is a sure hit among people who just can't get enough Meow Mix information:

The sole commercials during the game show will be from Meow Mix, Mr. Tuza of Del Monte Brands said, but rather than sell the product, they are meant to "educate you on how to be a better pet parent and how to better understand your cat."

You can find audition info for the show here. The ad industry is using your cats against you, urban sophisticates!

[NYT]

Are your friends constantly calling you Will and Grace? Jack and Karen? Kathy and her best gay? A NEW GAME SHOW celebrating the fascinating, complex, and hilarious relationship between gay men and their straight girlfriends is now casting! So if you're fun, outrageous, and know a lot of pop culture and mindless trivia, then we want you as a CONTESTANT! We are looking for BFF couples of all ages, who have a great dynamic together to take part in this new game show for a major cable network. If you think that you and your BFF would be fabulous, please e-mail your names, contact info, how long you have known each other, a brief description of your relationship, and a picture of both of you together or separate to newtvgameshow@gmail.com. You must be available May 20 and 21. Hurry spaces are filling fast!