Mormando's lawyer Nancy Ennis told the judge that her client "has been openly gay since he left the mob." The ex-gangster became a government informant shortly after the shooting and was released based on time served. Mormando says he lives "a peaceful working life" with his partner who doesn't want to join the witness protection program.

Mob hit man out of the closet: Robert Mormando is gay and regrets life of crime, his lawyer says [NY Daily News]

We had a nice chat with Jonathan Crutchley, the CEO of Manhunt.net's parent company Online Buddies Inc (nope, never saw that name on our credit card statement) and one of John McCain's most controversial contributors. Crutchley didn't have nice things to say about the site, which has the gays who go there to get laid in an uproar.

"I share your pain," he said about the new version of the site. "It's new to me. I don't like it either, but you get used to it." Asked if he's found anyone since the relaunch earlier this summer he said, "Of course."

As for our tale of evil gay-hating gospel singers cashing in on Manhunt.com, it's just not true. Crutchley told us that when the company tried to claim Manhunt.com back in 1998, but it was taken, so they got Manhunt.net instead. In 2001 they launched the popular website and trademarked using the name Manhunt for gay dating website. The company approached the gospel singers about buying the Manhunt.com domain name, but they said they were using it.

In 2006, the group stopped using the site and the domain name fell into the hands of Crazy Calm Media, who used Manhunt.com to link to their sex and hookup sites, including Bareback.com [NSFW, unless you work at a bathhouse]. In 2007, Online Buddies sued them for trademark infringement and won. Part of the settlement was ownership of the domain name, which now redirects traffic to Manhunt.net.

Yeah, way more boring than the original story. Now we're going to go and use Manhunt to see if we get used to it like Crutchley says we will. It's research, people. Research!

Yes, America is being overrun by the unclothed children of "progressive" parents. What's wrong with these people, these surely-communist progenitors acting as benelovent pacifists to tyrannical children who obviously can't control their sick, carnal desires to run around in their naked flesh? Are they, the parents, simply incapable of screaming "Put on some Goddamn clothes Pancho!" in the general direction of their little hedonistic snot-monsters? Don't they know that the olds of America simply aren't capable of handling such assaults to their delicate senses, or do they just not care?

Rachel Sarah, 36, a writer and mother in East Bay, Calif., said that until her 9-year-old daughter, Mae, turned 7, she liked to wear only a T-shirt in the summer, a preference that Ms. Sarah found healthy, but that Mae's grandparents could not accept. "My mom and stepfather were very insistent on her having clothes on for everything," Ms. Sarah said.

Although most days Mae ran half-dressed through the sprinkler or played with friends under a hose, she had to accept different rules when her grandparents were around. "Their view, I would say, is that little girls need to have their clothes on unless they're taking a bath," Ms. Sarah said.

And who could possibly be even more traumatized by the exposed nether bits of spoiled moppets than the olds? The gays, naturally!

Kevin Allen, 45, who used to work as a personal shopper, still recalls with horror the afternoon more than a decade ago when he was at a client's house, and the woman's two young granddaughters came into the room and began changing outfits.

"I was extremely uncomfortable," said Mr. Allen, who estimates the girls were 5 and 6. "I know the grandmother well, but I didn't know the children."

When asked to reflect on the source of his discomfort, Mr. Allen, who is gay, said he feared the situation could all too easily be misinterpreted. "Being gay, you're already thought of as a pervert by some people," he said. "If you look the wrong way at them or something like that, people are going to think you're having some kind of lascivious thought. So it's kind of not appropriate even in your own house. When other people are around, you should have modesty."

You see, the youngs have converted the olds into accepting this horseshit and now the olds are terrorizing the gays with their naked grandchildren. Good God this must be stopped! Bill O'Reilly, do something man!

Why Do They Need A Fig Leaf [New York Times]

Prejean says she was fired because she's an opposite-marriager, and that her beauty pageant handler Keith Lewis undermined her by...liking gay marriage? We can't figure it out. She doesn't blame Donald Trump, can't explain why he would fire her now because she doesn't like gay people when he publicly supported her immediately after she said she didn't like gay people, and says that before all this started Lewis never asked her to make any appearances and she used to call people and say, "Hi, I'm Miss California—would you like me to attend your event?" No. No we would not.

Yes of the ten cities surveyed, only three, in fact, had a higher ratio of tops to bottoms, and even then the numbers were almost even. But Miami, Houston, Los Angeles, and (surprise surprise) San Francisco, all seem rife with untended bottoms all reaching out across the cyber tundra, hoping to find some fleeting relief.

New York, of course, had the highest percentage of tops seeking companionship, because it's just that kinda town, I guess.

For those of you who need these wacky terms explained:

Begrizzled homo-loving son of a gun Sean Penn will be starring in a film about drugs. It's a Brian Grazer-produced film called Cartel and is a sorta revengey, child protect-y kinda movie. [Variety] David Ayer, who's previously dazzled us with such fare like the baroque LA crime flick Harsh Times and the broke-ass LA crime Keanu Reeves movie Street Kings, has received a seven figure deal from Regency to write and direct a film called Last Man, about American soldiers in space dukin' it out with frakking aliens. [Variety]

Fox has picked up the screen rights to the book Mr. Popper's Penguins. They plan to turn the 1938 publication into a thriller about what happens when the air conditioning is on too high at the Abbey. [Variety]

Begrizzled immigrant-loving wielder of a gun Melissa Leo, of Frozen River Oscar nodding, has signed on to a new HBO pilot. She'll be playing a lawyer in Treme, David Simon's New Orleans-set followup to The Wire. [Variety] Meanwhile at a project of completely equal prestige, former Ugly Betty transsexual Rebecca Romijn has signed on to play the lead in the Witches of Eastwick pilot for ABC. [Variety]

Michael J. Fox is returning to television, in a reality show called Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, in which he travels the world spreading good cheer. You just shut yer damn trap right now, Limbaugh. [Variety] Meanwhile a TV star of today makes Bambi steps toward movie stardom. Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl will star in the totally-mid-90's-ish thriller The Roommate, about a college student whose roommate becomes obsessed with her, Single White Female style. In that movie, Jennifer Jason Leigh was Bridget Fonda's, um, roommate. [THR]

Oh awesome. The wonderful Missy Pyle, Chris Parnell, and Deanne Dunagan are set to star in a CBS comedy pilot. Parnell and Pyle have been doing funny work in TV and film for years now, but Chicago actress Dunagan is probably best known for her ferocious, every-award-possible-winning turn in the play August: Osage County. She'll play a Southern mother making things difficult for an East Coast-transplant couple. [THR]

Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech provided the most vivid example of the latter: A tearful testimony of what it meant to live life openly as a gay man, it ended with comforting reassurance to the millions of fledgling gay boys—and smattering of girls—out there in the Oscars audience. Echoing a similar Harvey Milk speech that inspired Black himself to come out of the closet, the writer promised these bullied Beyoncé fans that they too have worth, and will one day escape the small towns in which they're trapped (whether by wheelchair, or some other, less literal-minded literary device).

Beautiful, right? Surely a sentiment with universal appeal, and one that would bring a tear to even the most child-blindingest of Mumbai slumlords. That is, if it hadn't been edited out of India's Oscars broadcast. A tipster writes:

It is my understanding that Dustin Lance Black's acceptance speech was edited for the rebroadcast of the Oscars in India such that the mention of being gay was removed. The actual broadcast began at 630a.m., so it's aired in real time and also taped and rebroadcast later in the day. My source for the info saw both broadcasts of his acceptance speech, so there you are.

If that's true, it's an unconscionable act of censorship and a giant step backwards for what was touted as the most global Oscars in history. We mean, how would they like it if every time A. R. Rahman or an adorable Slumdog Millionaire orphan took to the stage to praise their country and culture, The Abbey's Official Viewing Party cut to more "acceptable" footage of Baz Luhrmann mouthing the words to his big musical number?

But few know that Hollywood's greatest pre-Rahm Washington liaison was once pinkballed by J. Edgar Hoover's FBI. In 1964, Valenti was the Don Draper of the Houston advertising world, whereupon he won an appointment as a top aide to President Lyndon B. Johnson. There were whispers, though, that he had been engaged in suspiciously non-hetero activities; to wit, pulling a Franco in the White House pool. The Washington Post reports:

[I]n October 1964, a man whose name has been redacted from the records called an FBI official in New York. The caller encouraged the FBI to investigate Valenti "as a sex pervert," files show. "He based this request on the fact that he had read in the newspapers that Valenti swims in the nude in the White House pool."

A month later, the bureau found out that the Republican Party had hired a retired FBI agent to look into rumors that Valenti was attracted to men. The agents then focused on Valenti's relationship with the photographer, whose connections with Valenti had enabled him to photograph Johnson two years earlier, the memo said.

Six days later, Hoover reported the allegations to the president. Johnson spoke to Hoover lieutenant Cartha D. DeLoach and asserted that "Valenti was all right; however, his judgment was faulty inasmuch as he felt Jenkins had been all right," files show. DeLoach advised Johnson to have Valenti submit a sworn affidavit regarding his association with "this homosexual." Johnson demurred, saying Valenti had no need to defend himself.

"The President indicated that if I were to ask him if 'Lady Bird' were virtuous he would feel it would be unnecessary to reply, inasmuch as he knew 'Lady Bird' was virtuous," DeLoach wrote in a note."

Valenti was already one of Johnson's most trusted confidantes, standing just feet away as he took the oath of office aboard Air Force One after John F. Kennedy's assassination. LBJ may have used a Lady Bird trust analogy to protect his friend, but we suspect he really didn't care much one way or another. In those tumultuous days there was far more important business to attend to, and what a guy did naked in the White House pool with his longtime photographer companion was really nobody's business but his own.

• Valenti's Sexuality Was Topic For FBI [WashPo]

A month later, you're informed that you'll appear in every single scene of Ang Lee's new movie, Taking Woodstock. That's pretty much how it happened to Demetri Martin, who'll play the film's hero, Elliot Tiber—a young, Jewish gay from upstate New York who found himself, by sheer happenstance, mounting the generation-defining cultural event of its time.

Martin described the experience to AfterElton:

"James Schamus, the head of Focus Features, called my agents and said, ‘Hey, I want to meet with Demetri, just a general meeting.' Okay. So I went in to Focus, and I just met with the guy. He was really nice. He just asked me questions about what I was working on. Great, well, good to meet you. We just talked about music and plans, just writing things."

[One month later] Schamus wanted to meet with him again – only this time with Ang Lee and about a specific role.

"I went into the Ang Lee meeting and I had read the book and they're like, ‘I don't know how much you know, but we want to do this movie. We're kind of interested in you as a character. We're not going into as much of the like underground New York gay scene and that stuff. We're focusing more on the family relationship and this guy's personal journey, as a gay person who is in the closet in 1969 as that relates to making Woodstock happen and finding yourself as a generation is finding itself.'"

A week later Schamus asked Martin to come back and read for Lee.

"I did four scenes [and] I was like, this is a long shot, but this is for real now. And then two days later, they were like, ‘Okay. We'll do this with you.' Wow! I'm in every scene in that movie! It's crazy! I'd been in like two or three movies before and did like two scenes, tops. Now I'm in every scene, and I'm working with Ang Lee?"

We're dying to see this, even though we fear this particular casting may become the un-bendy straw that finally breaks the gay camel's back with regards to straight actors winning juicy gay roles. How ironic it would be if Taking Woodstock incited its own Stonewall riot, with hundreds of angry, out-of-work gay actors storming out the doors of Starbucks WeHo, chanting, "What do we want? Parts! When do we want them? Now! What will settle for? Featured extra! When we settle for it? Also now!"

• Exclusive: Demetri Martin takes on "Taking Woodstock" [AfterElton]

Second-cutest New Kids on the Block member (because omgJoeyweloveyouandwanttenthousandofyourbabies!) Jonathan Knight has been exposed by the National Enquirer as enjoying the company of other New Kids—which, if you follow such things on gossipy blogspots, seemed to be something of an open secret. Boy Culture scanned the expose in question, replete with damning kissy photos provided by a former lover:

Kyle Wilker, 27, tells the rag Jonathan realized he "preferred guys to girls" after dating Tiffany. (Sorry, Tiff. Ouch.) "We had a wonderful relationship. I was in love with him and I believe he was in love with me." [...]

[T]his "beautiful, romantic story" came to an end after 18 months with Wilker now telling the 'bloid that Jonathan likes to stay at home and watch TV and read. "I call him a straight guy who happens to be gay."

If you've already purchased tickets to the New Kids' triumphant comeback tour, we'd like to take this moment to emphasize that the alleged bedroom proclivities of its various members should have no discernible impact upon your concertgoing experience. They'll suck as much as they always did—no more, no less. So cheer up, ladies!

• Didn't I (Blow You This Time)? [Boy Culture]
• National Enquirer

Wilde joined the medical drama at the beginning of last season as the bisexual internist nicknamed "Thirteen," whose affliction of Huntington's Disease quickly became a major ongoing storyline. Sadly, House producers were unaware of a simple fact of television fandom: if you give a beautiful new actress screen time at the expense of good-looking men who are already on your show, unholy hellfire will rain down upon you from the highest summits of the Television Without Pity messageboards. At least, that's our interpretation of Thirteen's rocky reception—Wilde has a different one:

Olivia Wilde thinks she knows the real reason her numerically-monikered House alter ego elicits such a negative reaction from some fans. "I think it's because she had a gay sex scene [this season]," she confesses. "I've got to be honest with you, I think that's what it is."

Could be! Perhaps, though, viewers simply thought the sex scene was superfluous and would have preferred a plot where Thirteen's same-sex loving resulted in a misdiagnosed case of Lesbian Bed Death, only to see her social life saved at the last minute when House swooped in with the real cause of the problem: Fangirlus Misogynoccus.

• 'House' scoop: Is 'gay sex scene' behind Thirteen backlash? [EW]

The editor of the Gay Socialites blog reveals that he was recently asked to take part in...well, we're just going to let you find out yourself, because discovery is fun:

After a few minutes of talking with one of the Associate Producers on the telephone today, I found out that I'm not gay enough for Tyra Banks. The AP told me that Tyra was looking for someone who was a bit more "queeny" to participate in "Gay Town", a reality experience for "The Tyra Banks Show."

From what I was told, Tyra is going to lock a bunch of gays, lesbians and bi-sexual people in a room and observe how they act in different situations. Then in a few days, Tyra will bring the gays on-set to talk about their experience.

Excellence in Media! We can't wait to see Gay Town (run by Mayor William Sledd and hysterical Deputy Mayor Chris Crocker) flourish in a boom stereotype economy, only to crumple when crafty producers take away video cameras, internet access to Pink is the New Blog, and flat-irons.

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Not gay enough for Tyra Banks? [GaySocialites.com]

ABC announced today that it would bench Betty in March to make way for Samantha Who and the Megan Mullally-terrorized Motherhood, then return the America Ferrara vehicle after those two sitcoms complete their runs. However, as Michael Ausiello points out, that would be June (at the earliest).

The move is only the latest pratfall for Betty, which ABC has tinkered with constantly in the hopes of recapturing its first-season ratings (though many of the show's early elements—including executive producer Marco Pennette, the Los Angeles set, and Rebecca Romijn as a transsexual—have been jettisoned). At least if ABC shelves Betty entirely, Ferrera can always guest on her best friend Blake Lively's show. Oh, wait.

• ABC shuffles comedy slate [Variety]

Courtesy of Gawker video editor Mike Byhoff (who assures us he experienced no unusual loin-stirrings while compiling these clips), we bring you some of the finest moments of man-on-man, saliva-infused passion ever to grace the silver screen. Enjoy bisous from Velvet Goldmine (whose Ewan McGregor has plenty of Jim Carrey face-sucking time in I Love You Phillip Morris), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Brokeback Mountain, and Dude, Where's My Car?

First of all, some background: as we know all too well at this point, Joaquin Phoenix has grown out a beard and is pursuing a stunty fake career as a rap singer for what is clearly, clearly a mockumentary directed by Casey Affleck.

Also, your associate editor was inebriated at the party where he snapped this picture.

Anyway, let's try to figure this thing out.

REASONS WHY IT COULD BE JOAQUIN PHOENIX:

· Phoenix had a high-profile rap performance in Vegas on Friday (pictured at left). That's close enough to Park City!

· The beard growth is about the same on both d-bags. The blond wig on the Sundance d-bag (which threw us off) is clearly fake.

· Seriously, the Sundance idiot was so douchey that he approached self-parody (which is apparently Joaquin's new vocation). He was dancing like a loon and had oven mitts on his hands, for God's sake.

· The build (including the slightly bulging tummy) is about the same.

REASONS WHY IT MAY NOT BE JOAQUIN PHOENIX:

· It was at the Queer Lounge kickoff party? Which is not to say that New, Awful Joaquin is gay-unfriendly (though he is a rapper now), or that he's unaware of the fact that gays throw the best parties. But still, something to note.

· The Queer Lounge people we've talked to don't know a thing about it. Casey Affleck wasn't there and neither were any cameras (as far as we could tell).

· Though we're currently well-insulated in a Sundance bubble, we haven't heard any other news reports that place Joaquin at the festival.

· Actual Joaquin appears to have a more sizable soul patch and different nose (though the angle and iPhone camera could account for the differences).

THE VERDICT:

Hollywood is filled with douchebags.

Here's the plan Gilmore and director of programming John Cooper gave to the New York Times in December:

The festival, for instance, will make certain that no film is screened only in the Holiday Village theater in Park City, operated by Cinemark, a chain whose chief executive, Alan Stock, donated to Proposition 8’s backers in the November election. The idea is to give anyone who has qualms about Cinemark the opportunity to see a movie somewhere else.

But, given the dearth of theaters, programmers don’t intend to abandon the Holiday Village.

“We don’t have an alternative,” Mr. Gilmore said. “If we had another theater we could walk down the street to, we might be thinking about that.”

On its face, such a plan seemed superfluous: most Sundance films screen publicly around four to six times in several different theaters—including ones in Salt Lake City—so there was never any chance that a film's public screenings would be held exclusively at the Holiday Village (especially when they tend to premiere at big venues like the Eccles or Egyptian Theatre before working their way down to smaller screening rooms).

Running parallel to those public screenings are ones for press and industry only, and it's here that the Cinemark situation not only wasn't rectified, but has actually gotten worse.

For film critics and buyers who want to see as many films as possible, the press/industry screenings are the only way to go: no tickets are needed beforehand, and the screening experience is quick and easy (unlike public screenings, which sell out beforehand, start late, are buttressed by introductions and Q&As, and occur in isolated areas). Until this year, the press screenings were typically held in three locations: two separate, makeshift screenings rooms in the Yarrow Hotel, and one screening room in Cinemark's Holiday Village multiplex (just across a parking lot from the Yarrow).

Ironically, programmers have eliminated one of the two Yarrow screening rooms this year and made up for the loss by adding another to the Holiday Village. Since each film gets only one official press/industry screening (a precious few popular films sometimes get an encore screening near the end of the festival), this ensures that at least two-thirds of the festival's programming will only screen for the industry at Cinemark-owned theaters—and that includes gay-themed films like Dare and One Day in a Life. Press and industry who don't want to patronize the Holiday Village could always request comped tickets to public screenings, but Sundance rules permit only one comped ticket per day.

As Gilmore has said, there's a dearth of screening rooms in Park City, so abandoning the Holiday Village entirely would have been a difficult proposition. Still, the official line that steps were taken to assuage activist concerns increasingly appears to be little more than a snow job.

His name is Dr. Wayne Dyer, and he's a frequent guest and DeGeneres favorite who's big on "self-actualization." According to Wikipedia, "his 1976 book Your Erroneous Zones has sold over 30 million copies and is one of the best-selling books of all time." With that title? Who knew!

If you're interested and would like to check out his oeuvre the next time you're at Whole Foods, you will enjoy learning that "spiritual energy is the energy of abundance," whatever that means. Also, this fellow, this Dr. Wayne Dyer, is one of those mind-over-matter types who never gets depressed, not even when his wife runs off with another man, breaking up their happy family of eight (!) children (one of whom is named "Saje").

Still, he is apparently a big deal, so it's nice that he gay-married these two famous celebrities. Too bad that "self-actualization" thing can't stop the union from being (maybe) nullified!

• Ellen

EW's Michael Ausiello has the latest scoop: Melissa George (who plays bisexual, risk-taking intern Sadie) is leaving the show even before her entire episode deal and next-season option are exercised. The character was only introduced this season, but she was flirting with ladies and we all know where that got Brooke Smith! But then, let's let George explain the departure in her own weird, elusive way:

"I love the show so much," she gushes. "I've made some beautiful friends. I love T.R. Knight. I love Patrick Dempsey, Justin Chambers… I adore Ellen Pompeo. I think she's a strong, incredible woman. And Katherine Heigl is the most beautiful creature on Earth."

Then, um, why leave? George says she simply wants to "do something else." Already? Well, a Grey's insider does suggest that the parting of the ways was more mutual than simply the actress' choice. "Melissa's arc came to a natural end. Everyone at the show adores her. We're genuinely sad to see her go."

George's initial deal called for her to appear in roughly 8-11 episodes with an option to become a series regular, like Kevin McKidd. But her Sadie had a much more rocky introduction than the Iraq doc, what with the self-mutilation and ambiguous sexuality. The latter characteristic was especially ill-timed coming off of Hahn's controversial exit. "The character was cursed from Day One," sniffs an ABC source. "She was very difficult to root for."

Then, y'know, maybe don't introduce her? It's an interesting approach, this "throw a new character at the wall and see what sticks" strategy—it's just too bad that all the recent characters happen to be same-sex-leaning, and that instead of the wall, they get flung at the revolving door that opens out onto Seattle Grace's Parking Lot of No Return.

• 'Grey's Anatomy' exclusive: Melissa George checks out [EW]