Cyclist's Bra Reportedly Deflects Hunter's Bullet
NBC News reports that an underwire bra may have saved a German woman from serious injury this week when it stopped a hunter’s ricocheting bullet.
Gamer Roofied His Girlfriend So He Could Play for a Few More Hours
A German man admitted in court that he drugged his girlfriend’s tea one summer night last year so she wouldn’t interrupt his computer game session with a friend. He confessed his crime to her the day after it happened, and was finally convicted of assault this week. He’ll be fined 500 euros.
Worker Crushed to Death by Robot in Volkswagen Plant
On Wednesday, Volkswagen confirmed that a German robotics worker died this week after an assembly robot in a VW plant grabbed the man and pressed him against a metal plate, the Associated Press reports.
Queen Elizabeth to German President: Thanks for the Shitty-Ass Gift
Above, we see Elizabeth II, Her Majesty the Ice Queen, examining a portrait of her as a young girl riding a blue horse, which was presented to her today by German Federal President Joachim Gauck. We haven’t seen the queen this disgusted since Kate Middleton wore the wrong shade of nude tights to tea.
Escaped Circus Elephant Kills German Man
An escaped circus elephant killed a German man early Saturday morning in the woods near Buchen, the Associated Press reports. The man was 65 years old; the elephant is 34 years old: her name is Baby, and she is an African elephant. She was captured and returned to the circus.
Lufthansa Admits to Knowing About Andreas Lubitz's Past Depression
Lufthansa announced Tuesday that Andreas Lubitz—the co-pilot of the Germanwings flight that crashed into the French Alps last week, killing all 150 people on board—had previously informed the airline of a "serious depressive episode."
Prosecutors: Germanwings Co-Pilot Was Treated for Suicidal Tendencies
According to German prosecutors, Andreas Lubitz—the Germanwings co-pilot believed to have intentionally crashed an Airbus A320 last week, killing 150 people—had previously been treated for suicidal tendencies.
Germanwings Co-Pilot Andreas Lubitz Was Hiding Medical Condition: Police
Police in Germany reportedly discovered documents indicating that Andreas Lubitz—the co-pilot of the Germanwings plane believed to have been intentionally crashed, killing 150 people—may have been hiding a medical condition from his employers. Investigators also claim to have found a torn up doctor's note excusing him…
Former Nazi Guard Charged with 170,000 Counts of Accessory to Murder
According to CBS News, a 93-year-old German man has been charged with 170,000 counts of accessory to murder for his role as a guard at Auschwitz concentration camp.
Police Arrest Dozens Across Europe in Anti-Terrorism Sweep
In the wake of last week's terrorist attacks in Paris, more than two dozen people were arrested by police across Europe on Friday, who launched raids on locations of suspected Islamist extremists in France, Belgium, and Germany.
The AP reports arsonists attacked the offices of a German newspaper that reprinted Charlie Hebdo's Muhammad cartoons on Sunday, throwing a Molotov cocktail through a basement window. No one was injured and the fire was quickly extinguished. Police have detained two men suspected of the crime.
German Student Killed Trying to Protect Teen Girls From Harassers
A German student who was attacked after protecting two teen girls from a group of harassers died Friday from her injuries. Hundreds showed up to Sunday vigils for Tugce Albayrak in Berlin and outside the Offenbach hospital where she died. She was 23.
Genius Activists Trick Neo-Nazi Parade Into Raising $12,000 for Charity
How do you turn the traditional neo-Nazi march that passes through your small town every year into a good thing? If you're the residents of Wunsiedel, in Bavaria, Germany, you turn their hate parade into an involuntary walkathon, so that every step they take raises more money for an anti-fascist charity.
Two Radio DJs Got Their Man Boobs Enlarged to Live "Like Women"
Popular (and wacky!) radio DJs John and Rasheed from Berlin's JAM FM know—just like you and I—that the single defining characteristic of every single human woman is their breasts. So in an attempt to see what it would be like to trade a Y chromosome for an X, the two got pumped with a saline solution to give them…
After Family Argument, Man Blows Himself Up
A man in Homberg, Germany was so incensed by an argument that he was having with his family that instead of going out to have a few neat whiskeys, or running up the stairs and slamming in the door, he blew himself up outside the family's house.
Merkel on Fall of the Berlin Wall: "Dreams Can Come True"
Today marks the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, and while brave brands attempt to commemorate the beginning of the end of the Cold War through native advertising online, citizens of Berlin gathered along the wall's former path and at Brandenburg Gate to memorialize the historic anniversary.
Shoe Company Executives Vanish With All The Shoe Money
In what looks like the exact legal definition of a criminal conspiracy, the CFO of "China's Urban Footwear Company" Ultrasonic has informed the public and the firm's Supervisory Board that its CEO and COO have "apparently left their homes and are not traceable." Also: The money's gone.
Hero Cow Dies in Hail of Bullets After Fleeing Slaughter, Goring Jogger
Months after an escaped steer was shot and killed in the streets of Baltimore, another freedom-seeking bovine died a hero's death in Germany. The cow, later nicknamed Bavaria, fled a Munich slaughterhouse Tuesday and went on a wild rampage through the city, leading police on a high-speed chase towards Oktoberfest and…
Squeaky, "Very Old" Sex Swing Leads to Man's Eviction
In Germany, a tenant was evicted from his apartment for making "sexual, athletic and squeaking noises" on a "very old" sex swing, the Associated Press reports.
Determined German Teen Drops Phone in Pond, Drains Pond to Get It Back
Teenagers! They love their phones as if they are humans with real feelings! A German teenager, after accidentally dropping his phone into a pond on a fishing trip, decided to drain the pond in order to get it back. Not that he thought it was working or anything—he just really needed it.
