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South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
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The Week A Bald Tool Destroyed America's Dreams

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bboston88
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
In Georgia our courts close for Confederate Memorial Day. For real.

When my firm emailed this I responded with a "haaaaa! That's hilarious!" until someone told me they were serious.
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southernbitch
04/20/09

@bboston88: wait. i lived in georgia for over 10 years and i dont remember that. not to say it wouldn't surprise me, but what part of georgia are you practicing in?
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alorsenfants
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
"Yes he's free to be put in a cage

In Harlem in New York City

And he's free to be put in a cage on the South-Side of Chicago

And the West-Side

And he's free to be put in a cage in Hough in Cleveland

And he's free to be put in a cage in East St. Louis

And he's free to be put in a cage in Fillmore in San Francisco

And he's free to be put in a cage in Roxbury in Boston"

You get the idea.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@alorsenfants: Dear god tell me that isn't an actual "song"!!!

P.S. -- Is your handle "if Chef were French" or something? :)
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alorsenfants
04/20/09

@SaraRueful:

(Shows his age) Excerpt from Randy Newman's "Rednecks" -- on the album "Good Old Boys", 1974.

My screen name means: "Well! Children!"
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@alorsenfants: Ah, Randy Newman.

And yeah, I guess I used quotation marks inappropriately -- Chef's trademark phrase (more common than, say, "chocolate salty balls") was usually "Hello, children," or "Well, children" (depending on context). Or perhaps you're not a South Park fan?
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southernbitch
04/20/09

@alorsenfants: i love randy newman. that song made me incredibly uncomfortable the first couple of times i listened to it, but now i dig it. i saw him play at jazz fest in new orleans last year and, needless to say, he played that song and i dont quite think the all white drunk ass audience quite got the subtleties. seeing a bunch of LSU crackers cheer about "keeping the niggers down" with much gusto was painful.
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CaptainFantastic
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
And, in comparison, the next time a Repub wins the White House the map will look very pinkish. So, at that point, the remaining blue areas are racist against old, white men?
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The Recession Is Over
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
I was walking down 46th the other day and overheard some older Jewish mother types talking about how some art collector in Philadelphia bestowed his collection to one of those 'nigger' college and how it was such a sham.

If it's wasn't so frowned upon to beat up little old ladies, I likely would have.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@xyu: Prove they were Jewish, please. That word was forbidden in my home and every Jewish home I have ever entered.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@A Hotdog for Your Hallway: Did you quickly change your posting name in shame?
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Spirit Fingers
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
There are just some states that shouldn't be visited. Ever. I say this as an ex-southerner.
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SW-2
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
I'm curious to know what the hell happened in Indiana that so many 2004 Bushies went for Obama.
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J-No
04/20/09

@SW-2: Massive increases in unemployment.
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sirjohnoldcastle
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
The beauty of this map is that is so clearly illustrates the annoying third world country portion of America--the red part is where most people spend more time trying to figure out what they are going to eat than they do on anything else--like pesky education. that and moonshining.
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Hydroceph
04/20/09

@sirjohnoldcastle: don't forget inbreeding.
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pooks
04/20/09

@sirjohnoldcastle: Yes, well the majority of our troops come from that annoying third world section of the country. A lot of those people cannot afford higher education and enlist in the military in the hope of improving their lives either through a military career or GI Bill tuition assistance. With that in mind, it makes sense that the majority of people in those areas would support a political party with a war hero as its candidate. Just because someone didn't want to vote for Obama, doesn't make him/her a racist. By that argument, all Hillary supporters were racists.
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bjonston
04/20/09

@pooks: A lot of those people cannot afford higher education and enlist in the military in the hope of improving their lives either through a military career or GI Bill tuition assistance. With that in mind, it makes sense that the majority of people in those areas would support a political party with a war hero as its candidate.

Really? So how do you explain all those good folks voting for Dubya instead of John Kerry in 2004. Kerry was the decorated war veteran whereas Dubya was a rich-kid cheerleader from Yale who "volunteered" for the Air National Guard in order to avoid going to Vietnam. I call bullshit.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
If I am ever in a bad mood, all my husband has to say is "the waw-ah of nawthun aggression" in the Foghorn Leghorn accent of all his ancestors and I howl with laughter.

Oh, the Beautiful South. Keep telling your convoluted tales.
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Hydroceph
04/20/09

@BookishLookish: You married a southerner, too? Mine just makes what i call the "stupid look," which is his take on generations of inbreeding, only instead of making me laugh it scares me to death.
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SW-2
04/20/09

@BookishLookish: I read that in my head as the "Wawa of northern agression," and suddenly I'm looking at eastern PA convenience stores a lot differently.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@Hydroceph: Oh yeah. I know that look. The corollary is what the huz calls "European bitch face," which entails a lifted eyebrow and the looking down in disgust via my long, patrician nose.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@SW-2: It involves a lot of agro scrapple.
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Hydroceph
04/20/09

@BookishLookish: we're apparently not that highbrow. the mister just calls that one, "set eyebrow on stun."
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@Hydroceph: A totally acceptable and palatable alternative. I raise my glass and eyebrow to you, darling.
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Hydroceph
04/20/09

@BookishLookish: well, it does have that sci-fi pop culture reference going for it.

It must be a dreadfully slow Monday if we're all on Gawker parsing gestures and looks.
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kimsama
04/20/09

@SW-2: AH HA HA HA HA!

With regards to convenience stores, PA really is a state, divided: Sheetz against Wawa. I cannot tell you how many students I taught in PA who were bitterly, bitterly divided over the issue, based on whether they were from Eastern or Western PA.
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tailpipebananna
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
god. Just let the dumb rednecks secede already,let them live in their ignorant bliss. Then we in the North would have awesome jet packs from all the subsidies we wouldn't have to send them anymore. AND we'd have President Stewart and VP Colbert!
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allyzay
04/20/09

@tailpipebananna: no, we're probably still have prez obama since most northerners aren't retarded kos readers.
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Claire Buoyant
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
You guys probably covered this already (though I can't find it), but there's a close correlation between antebellum cotton-growing counties and 2008 Obama-voting counties (yes, I know correlation is not causation, blah blah blah).

[strangemaps.wordpress.com]
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Awesome X
04/20/09

@Claire Buoyant: That's interesting. It's the white poors who were duped into fighting the Civil War -- "poor white people, die so plantation owners (like the McCains, boosh!) can own slaves instead of giving poor people paychecks" -- and their great-great-great grandkids are being duped today. Poors keeping other poors down. So Marxisty!
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jurisenpai
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
Please. Please see exactly how blue North Carolina and Virginia (capital of the Confederacy) have gone. I canvassed door-to-door for Obama/Warner/Periello, and no one ever told me they weren't voting for him because of his race. His supposed "Islamic Roots" were much scarier than his skin color.

I have seen much worse racism up North in Yankeedom - Wisconsin especially.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@jurisenpai: This is just a theory, but I'd bet that the Islamic thing was a convenient hook for them, because since 9/11 it's "OK" to hate Muslims but hatin' n****rs is looked down upon in civil society.

Also, the map isn't how blue they were in 2008, but how much bluer they were last year than 2004. Subtle but important difference.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@SaraRueful: not to say that they weren't blue, but W.Va. and S.C. were much bluer last year -- and still turned out red.
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GretchenWieners (is praying she passes the bar)
04/20/09

@jurisenpai: So true! I'm a transplanted South Carolinian who worked in progressive politics for four years in SC, and the charges that "Southerners are so racist" as northerners flee for the "safer and cleaner" suburbs (and now the ex-burbs) manage to both piss me off and make me laugh hilariously.

There are racist southerners,racist northerners, racist mid-westerners, racist west-coasters. In fact, in the early 1900s - when they were most influential - the KKK was strongest in the mid-west and had "political organizations" throughout the northeast.

So kiss it, Gawker.
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City_Dater
04/20/09

@GretchenWieners (is finally done with his bullshit):

However, election results don't lie...much. Northern racists either stay the hell home or don't let their secret creepy intolerances influence their voting. I would guess that to racist in New England, for example (because I'm from there and have met a few of 'em), the Obama family isn't really "black" because they're so well-educated and clearly Our Sort. This kind of nuance, while admittedly disgusting, appears to be absent from the Rashy Areas of the US.
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
04/20/09

@SaraRueful: Exactly. I vote down hee-ya and there were a lot more people voting. But it was still depressing because in the end, the state was red.
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allyzay
04/20/09

@jurisenpai: ok, so you realized that you completely negated your accurate "there are racists everywhere ESPECIALLY MASSACHUSETTS BTW" argument by failing to realize that "i hate muslims" is just as fucking bigoted as "i hate black people"? what is wrong with you?
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morninggloria
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
Racism looks a lot like America's rash.
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BookishLookish
04/20/09

@morninggloria: Yeah, look at how bad it is on the Redneck Riviera, America's balzac.
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Kari's Favorite Mark
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
Maybe we should let strip mining continue in the Applachians. The residents sure don't seem to give a shit.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@formerly it takes a lot to laugh: Leave the land, tear up the people. It's not the mountains' fault.
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Kari's Favorite Mark
04/20/09

@SaraRueful: You know what? That will fit well on a tee-shirt.
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BelleBreezing
04/20/09

@formerly it takes a lot to laugh: As someone who grew up in Appalacia, I would buy that shirt.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@BelleBreezing: Created by Appalachians, for Appalachians. Hope you escaped too!
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
That argument sounds like the religious folks' arguments against gay rights.
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SaraRueful
04/20/09

@Itsjustcatnip: "States' rights" also encompasses abortion.
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Awesome X
04/20/09

In reply to South Still Bitching About How We Made Them Free Their Slaves
What was up with Arkansas anyway?
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