[Legend of stage and screen Bette Midler with "Gossip Girl" actress Blake Lively at the Michael Kors Fashion Week show; image via Getty] CodePink's new line beats the original, "And Right Over There Is Where I Boffed Norman Mailer in 1972. He Was a Writer, Dear."

[Actress Natalie Portman at the Rodarte show for Fashion Week today; image via Getty] TedSez's new line beats the original, "Oh This Old Face?"

[Tinsley Mortimer, socialite and handbag designer, added: "I am scared of the ghost because I think it wants to steal my hats. I put ghost pellets in a little trail leading out of my closet and into the hallway so it will eat them and follow them out of my room. Guadalupe says the ghost pellets are just Goldfish…

["Vogue" editor Anna Wintour at the Carolina Herrera Fashion Week show today; image via Getty] Miss-Pringle's new line beats the original, Having Stood Knee-Deep In Human Blood All Morning, Fashion Editor's Beige Skirt Is Tragically Ruined.

[Bulgarian women compete in the group rhythmic gymnastics at the China High School Leage All-County Finals, to be followed directly after by the the church fair and auction; image via Getty]

The pitter-patter of little feet is getting kind of annoying today at Defamer HQ, where news of not one, not two, not three, but four celebrity pregnancies and/or births have us hand-delivering sex-ed pamphlets to front desks everywhere from CAA to ICM. Even in this uncertain era of creative gas-rationing and…

[Michael Phelps, inventor of the Olympics and water; getting another medal today/yesterday/so hard to tell; image via Getty] Tammany_Fall's new line beats the original, Spotting a Gold Candy Wrapper in the Stands, Precious Metal-Encrusted Athlete Hatches a Plan.

You're nobody in this town until you've been ripped off, and even then you're just a little more bitter nobody until an actual, attributable success comes along. According to a profile today in indieWIRE, director Alex Holdridge can finally lay claim to both stages in his accelerating career arc: His funny, lyrical…

Only three years ago, Blake Lively was just That Blonde Girl from The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants, and America Ferrera was just the Token Dorky Sidekick. Alexis Bledel and Amber Tamblyn, on the other hand, were bonafide TV stars. My, how things have changed. With the film's sequel debuting next month, we take…

WHEREAS, the Star Wars franchise comprises six films about the legend of Anakin Skywalker, his son Luke, a bunch of puppets and their exploits with the Force, and WHEREAS, said franchise is the most lucrative in the history of cinema, having generated nearly $4.3 billion at the box office alone, and WHEREAS, the…

One of the most stirringly batshit films we've seen this year, Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal debuts on HBO tonight after a successful premiere run at last month's Los Angeles Film Festival. We've tipped you previously to some of the harrowing dynamics herein: Ex-madam Heidi Fleiss nabs a land deal in…

In light of some breaking hair-related news involving future fugitive Katie Holmes, we must admit that we’ve underestimated the Scientology prisoner. As the Daily Mail reported over the weekend, Broadway’s least-alluring celebrity rookie recently chopped off even more of her already chin-grazing bob, and even dared…

In a landmark decision for bodice rippers and the networks who love them, a trio of federal judges today threw out the FCC's $550,000 fine against CBS for the Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" that exposed Janet Jackson's right breast in 2004. The damning decision resulted in a miserable spoof by Justin Timberlake…

Isn't it strange how that rare affliction of being mystically "unable" to gain weight only strikes female celebrities? It seems poor Megan Fox has that very woe to deal with atop her many other personal struggles, like pretending her engagement to one-earring trendmaker Brian Austin Green is still on, and trying ever…

The Daily Mail, that notorious rag that deconstructs celebrity faces and performs detailed analyses of every miniscule wrinkle, inflated pout, and sagging rump, has finally turned its eagle eyes towards Sarah Jessica Parker. And unlike fellow plastic surgery obsessed sites, the tab has gone beyond simply accusing…

As many loyal Defamer readers must know by now, our favorite blind items tend to include three elements: closeted actors, drug-addicted actresses, and those rare but joyous items that include the quote “Do you want to fuck my wife?” And kudos to the NY Daily News for providing us with the gruesomely enjoyable…

When choosing between months of intensive studies spent hunched over a Torah preparing for your kiddushin (that's betrothal for you goyum, which are non-Jews for you...non-Jews), and becoming a big star, it seems Isla Fisher has decided to go with the latter. As the Daily Mail reports, the potential redheaded…

Madonna's epic reputation as a racy, sexual icon who lives life with "no regrets" has encountered a few speed bumps in recent years. The transition from Material Girl to Earth Mother circa Ray Of Life in 1998 marked the most significant rupture to her free-wheeling Erotica-encapsulated days of drugs, sex, and…

After sufficiently mourning the split between Justin Long and Drew Barrymore by giving our iBook a tearful embrace, we found ourselves facing a familiar Drew-inspired dilemma: figuring out who the serial dater extraordinaire will add to her illustrious list of ex-boyfriends next. Even before sort of settling down…

When a girl's starting to doubt her sex appeal, after a foray into acting that has thus far earned her parts as a back brace-wearing nerd and the part of "Smoking Girl" in something called Whore, there is no better way to regain confidence and prove just how fine you are than nailing a gay actor (allegedly). And…