• joe francis

    Joe Francis Smiles For The Mug Shot Cameras

    Behold an EXCLUSIVE! MUG SHOT! EXCLUSIVE! of Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, freshly booked after his arrest this morning in the Panama City airport on contempt of court charges. In it, the titty-flashing tycoon courageously demonstrates his high threshold for the Panama City authorities' coercive interrogation tactics, managing, despite the cruel and unusual deprivation of maximum-hold hair product, to confidently bare all 72 teeth for the camera, in a smile that all but says, "Just try and make it stick, Smoaky." The details, courtesy of People.com: More »
  • joe francis

    Joe Francis Safely Behind Bars; America's Teenage Breasts Heave Enticing Sigh Of Relief

    Mind-rapist and anal intrudee Joe Francis was arrested this morning in—wait for it—Spring Break haven Panama City. We wish him all the best in his struggle against the cruel college gals who've unfairly accused him of victimizing them and forced him into the unholy process of mediation. More »
  • american idol

    Joe Francis Offers To Help Antonella Barba Transition From Top Of Toilet To Front Of 'Girls Gone Wild' DVD

    Regardless of what should become of Antonella Barba after her sure-to-suck performance tonight on American Idol, the controversial contestant can take some comfort in knowing she is not without a backup plan: Girls Gone Wild's Chief Operating Titty Inspector, Joe Francis, has issued a press release publicly soliciting Barba's services to the tune of $250,000: More »
  • joe francis

    Joe Francis Runs Free

    Figurative and literal anal-penetration victim and Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis has beaten 34 of the "more than 40" felony and misdemeanor charges against him for videotaping minors having real and/or simulated sex. "Hundreds of hours" of damning tape seized from Francis's homes and plane were suppressed from evidence because of improper search warrants; a few counts remain on the docket due to potential testimony from the videographer and photographer in question. So other than a few fines and community service, things are looking good for Joe. Perhaps he'll go beat up a reporter to celebrate! More »
  • joe francis

    Judge Gives 'Girls Gone Wild's' Joe Francis Community Service, Stern Talking To

    Determining that the $1.6 million in fines that his company was ordered to pay for not keeping accurate records on the ages of drunken 17-year-olds they may have accidentally filmed in the act of baring their breasts after funneling pints of Goldschlager on Spring Break would hardly put a dent in Girls Gone Wild jailbait-titty-flash mogul Joe Francis's private jet catering budget, much less make him pause for reflection about preying on drunken co-eds, a Florida judge tacked on some community service for Francis and his cohorts, then publicly chided them for the cowardice built in to their business model: More »
  • joe francis

    Joe Francis Does Not Compute

    Girls Gone Wild founder and drive-by dildo victim Joe Francis pleaded guilty yesterday to two felony counts of violating federal record-keeping laws, as he had failed to document the ages of the girls featured in his videos. Earlier this month, Francis admitted to using minors in his last two DVDs (but if they were just soaping each other, is that a crime?); he pleaded guilty to 10 similar felony counts in Panama City, paying $1.6 million in fines. God only knows what he owes in New Orleans and Fort Lauderdale. More »